“Home. I need to go home,” I said.
Surprisingly, she nodded in agreement this time.
I wasn’t sure if this meant she finally understood what I was asking, or if she was finally agreeing that it was okay for me to go now. Either way, an unexpected release of tension swept through me. I could have cried right there, without her saying a single word to clarify her simple nod, I was so happy.
After leaving the room, the woman came back with the same bowl and cloth she’d used on me before. After dipping the cloth in the water, she washed my face. I gripped her hand, and took the cloth from her fingers, thinking if I did this for myself then maybe she would understand even more I was better. Her chocolate brown eyes watched me intently as I washed, accessing my every move. Before I could finish, she stood and left the room.
Sighing, I wondered if she understood. Dear God, I prayed that she did. I wanted out of here. Removing my shirt, I began to wash my body. Once I was finished, I dressed again and walked to the door of the room. Looking out for the first time, I spotted the little boy flipping through the pages of a book while lying on the floor. He glanced at me, and said something I didn’t understand. After an awkward pause, he smiled and I returned it. His mother entered the room then; she took my hand and led me to a window near the front door. When I looked out, I had no idea where I was. She said something, and then led me back to the room I’d stayed in. I did as she wanted, but it would be the last time. If she didn’t take me to a base camp or someplace where someone could speak English, then I would leave on my own tomorrow night.
Either way, I was a step closer to getting back to America, a step closer to my family, and best of all, a step closer to Eva in making this decision.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
EVA
Work. School. Friends. Those were the things I buried myself in for the next four weeks. I avoided all of Sawyer’s family’s phone calls, and deleted all of their messages. I knew they only wanted one of two things, either to see how I was holding up, or to invite me to the funeral service.
I didn’t care to discuss either.
Funerals were not something I agreed with. In my opinion, they were morbid, and I couldn’t understand how people felt as though attending them gave them any sense of closure. There was never closure when someone you cared about died. Closure in that sense was unobtainable. This reason was one of the many for why I avoided each of Sawyer’s parents’ phone calls over the next four weeks.
When the calls finally stopped, it was a bittersweet moment. Now I could go on pretending that I’d never met Sawyer in peace. February was here now, and I was counting down the days until warmer weather, and a life without schoolwork.
Things were getting back on track, returning to the way they had been before Sawyer came and derailed me. There was one difference than before though. Now I was on an even straighter track. I wasn’t moping around, wondering why I was still single at twenty-four when all of my friends were in committed relationships or getting married.
I didn’t care now. I’d become career oriented.
Cam had said I was running from my feelings, and that once I stopped doing so, things would catch up with me in a big way. While that might have been what happened to him, our situations were different. I wasn’t allowing what had happened to me to destroy me. I’d taken the energy of it, and I was using it as motivation toward something better. I was putting it to good use, and in the process, I was slowly tucking Sawyer into the depths of my mind to be forgotten.
“Let’s try something new tonight,” I insisted. It was Thursday night, which Lauren, Paige, Blaire, and I had all deemed to be our weekly girls’ night out. We’d headed to Shooters for drinks, and then were going to see the latest vampire movie I’d been secretly dying to see for months. “How about we let the bartender pick something for us?”
“I’m down for that,” Lauren agreed. “Let’s saunter over there, and flirt with the poor guy until his eyes nearly pop out of his skull. I’m in the mood to be a heartbreaker tonight.”
“Is Ian okay with this?” Blaire asked, arching a brow at her. “Because I don’t think he would be.”
Lauren’s lips pursed together. “No, you’re right. I think I need to set up a little role-playing with him. He needs to come in here and act like he’s picking me up or something, you know?”
Paige rolled her eyes. “Already getting bored?”
“No way! I love my man,” Lauren shouted. “I’m just in the mood for things to have a little more spice.” She winked. “There’s never anything wrong with adding a little more spice into the mix.”
Laughing, we started toward the bar. Once I’d readied myself to ask if the bartender could recommend something for us to try, my cell vibrated in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I glanced at the screen and recognized Sawyer’s parents’ home number instantly. I froze. Why would they be calling me now? I’d been doing so well. I had pushed the majority of everything involving Sawyer away, but with this one phone call, everything came rushing back.
“Who is it? Are you okay?” Blaire asked. She was always so damn perceptive.
“It’s Sawyer’s parents,” I muttered.
Saying his name seemed wrong. I hadn’t mentioned him by name to anyone in so long, over a month to be exact. The vibrations stopped as the call went to voicemail. A few seconds later, it vibrated once in my hand, letting me know they had left a message.
“What do you think they wanted?” Paige asked. She handed me a pink drink the bartender must have decided we would like.
Taking a small sip of the sweetness, I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Did they leave a message?” Lauren questioned.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Well, listen to it.” Lauren took a swig of her drink, her brown eyes still trained on me.
As we made our way back toward our table, my legs wobbled beneath me, and I questioned whether I wanted to know their reason for calling. Why would they be calling me now, after so much time had gone by? My phone vibrated across the tabletop, and all I could do was stare at the screen as their name and number light it up again. Flashbacks from when Janet had called me back to back the day I found out Sawyer was gone flickered through my mind. My lungs constricted.
“Is it them again?” Blaire asked. Her blue eyes had gone wide with concern.
I nodded, but didn’t speak. Reaching out, I grabbed my phone, and held the top button until it turned off. I was going to have fun tonight. I was entitled to it, and Sawyer’s parents weren’t going to ruin it for me with their random, incessant calling.
Tipping my pink drink back, I chugged and attempted to push the questions swirling through my mind from my head. A song came on Lauren claimed to love, and she looped her arm through mine. I allowed her to drag me to the makeshift dance floor, where I proceeded to dance away my worries.
* * * *
Friday morning I woke bright and early, just like I always did when I drank. For some, alcohol made them sleep like babies, but for me, it kept me tossing and turning until I finally gave up on sleep altogether and got up. This was one of the reasons why I rarely got smashed.
Shuffling down the hallway toward my living room, I switched on a few lights and turned on my TV. Pilates was the best way to wake up. It stretched and pulled your muscles until they were fully awake and blissfully warmed. I’d also found that increasing my routine from three times a week to six, as well as increasing the time from thirty minutes to forty-five, did a lot in the stress department for me.
After I’d finished my morning workout, I headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Thinking of coffee made me think of Sawyer, which made me think of the phone calls I’d gotten last night. My heart picked up its pace, and before long was pulsating in my throat. The desire to find my phone and play any messages surged through me. I darted back to my bedroom, and snatched my phone off my dresser. Holding the top button, I waited for the thing to boot up.
&nbs
p; My heart skipped a few beats as I notice the red number glaring at me on my screen—seven missed calls. What the hell could have possessed them to call me seven times in one night? My thumb tapped on the green square with a white phone. Apparently, they’d left a message after each call. My index finger hovered over the play symbol on the first message. I hesitated in pushing it, not knowing if I wanted to start my day with something from them. Were they just coming out of the fog from losing Sawyer, and wanted to reach out again to see how I was holding up? If that was the case, then there really was no reason for me to play the messages. In fact, maybe I should get my number switched so I could avoid this happening again altogether. Biting my bottom lip, curiosity got the best of me, and I tapped the little triangle.
“New message from…” the automated voice started.
A knock at my front door startled me, and I crossed the living room to answer it. Gripping the knob, I swung my front door open as the voicemail began to play in my ear—it was Sawyer.
“Eva, I…” His voice on the recording filled my ears. My heart seemed to constrict and sputter inside my chest, starting and stopping simultaneously.
“Hi,” the person standing at my front door said.
I blinked, thinking I was seeing things. When the image in front of me didn’t change, I dropped my phone, and brought my hands to my mouth.
Sawyer was standing in front of me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
SAWYER
Eva’s eyes were wide, their color magnified by the tears pooling in them. My eyes skimmed over her, soaking in every inch of her. The saved images I’d stowed away in my mind of her didn’t compare to the real thing. She was gorgeous. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and she was dressed in black yoga pants and a simple mint green tank top. Bending down to retrieve her cell, I put my ear to it. It was one of the messages I’d left from my parents’ house last night playing. Clicking her phone off, I laughed.
“Sorry about that. I just got in last night. I wanted to come over to see you, but my mom wasn’t going to let me out of her sight,” I said. Eva didn’t speak. Her hands remained clamped over her lips, and her eyes stayed wide and surprised as she continued to stare at me. She didn’t even seem to be breathing. “I wanted you to swing by to see me. That’s why I was calling you.”
“Sawyer?” she asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper as it slipped through her fingers. She dropped her hands to her sides, and glanced around frantically. “Is this really happening, or have I finally snapped and gone completely insane?”
My lips quirked into a sad smile, and I reached out to touch her. I brushed my thumbs against the wrinkles of confusion puckering the area between her brows. I hated seeing her this way, this perplexed and distraught.
“It’s happening. I’m here,” I said, bringing my hands to rest against her cheeks.
Eva’s hands moved to overlap mine, and she closed her turquoise eyes—the ones I’d dreamed about a thousand times while I was away. Licking her bottom lip, she smiled.
“I wished for this the second I found out.” she muttered.
“Me too,” I said.
She dropped her hands to her sides as a single tear slipped down her cheek. Opening her eyes, her brows pulled together. “And then I wished I could forget you when my first wish wasn’t granted like I wanted it to be.”
The raw honesty of her voice, of her words, burned through me to my soul. Stepping farther into her apartment, I closed the door behind me, and pulled her into my arms. Her signature coconut scent filled my nostrils, and I smiled as I buried my face deeper into her hair.
“I’m so sorry I wished that, Sawyer. It just hurt so badly knowing you were gone,” she whispered.
Eva’s body trembled in my arms as she began to cry. I could understand why she’d wished she could forget me, how in her mind it was probably easier to forget someone than to remember them. Remembering someone you loved and lost only brought pain. I understood that better than anyone.
“It’s okay,” I insisted, squeezing her tighter in my arms. “I’m here now.”
“And that’s all that matters.” She pulled away enough to press her lips to mine.
I’d waited for this moment, the moment I’d dreamt of the entire plane ride home.
Eva’s soft lips brushed against mine in a hesitant way at first, almost as though she were making sure I was in fact real. Intertwining my fingers within her hair, I crushed my lips to hers in a fevered way—a way that left no doubt I was standing in front of her, alive and well.
Her hands came up, and tugged my jacket off my shoulders. It fell to the floor behind me with a swooshing noise. After drawing my hands down the sides of her slender neck, I let them rest on her shoulders for a moment. My thumbs hooked through the straps of her tank top, and I pulled one to the side. Dipping my head down, I trailed featherlight kisses across her supple skin until I reached the swell of her breast.
A soft moan fluttered from between her lips and directly into my left ear, causing shivers to slip down my spine. I let out a silent prayer to God, thanking him for letting me still keep some of my hearing in that ear, because I’d just enjoyed the hell out of that moan. My tongue darted out, and licked along the exposed skin of her breast while I skimmed my fingertips down her bare arms until they met her hips.
Eva tugged at the edge of her tank top, and pulled it up over her head. I skimmed my fingertips across every inch of her top half within my vision. The moment my index finger passed through her cleavage, I thought she might lose it. I’d never witnessed something sexier; it was the last straw for me.
The look that flittered across her face at the motion ripped the remaining willpower I’d managed to hold on to in to tiny, unrecognizable shreds. Gripping the under part of her ass, I lifted her off the ground, and pressed her to me. Eva wrapped her legs around my waist, and giggled as she kissed along my throat. My mind shuffled through where I should place her so we could continue with this moment. The floor seemed too hard, even though it was the closest thing I could lie her down on. I continued through the living room. My eyes flicked to the couch for a split-second, but then I decided I didn’t want to do it there either. I wanted both of us to be comfortable while I worshiped every dip and curve of her beautiful body.
The bed.
That was the only place I wanted to be with Eva—tangled deeply in the sheets, and pressed against her, going at it all night. A smile curved the corners of my mouth as I felt her tongue dart past her succulent lips, and across my jawline. In that moment, I was glad my mother had made me shave when I’d woken up this morning, because there was no way Eva would have been able to do that if I hadn’t.
The second Eva’s bed came into view, I picked up speed, and launched her onto it. She bounced up, and her laughter filled the room. It was infectious, leaving me with no choice except to join in. After shucking off my shoes, I crawled across her bed until I had her thighs spread wide with me pressed against her center. I hovered above her.
Her ocean-colored eyes gazed into mine as she pulled my shirt up over my head, and flung it to the floor. Lowering myself, I kissed her. It was soft and slow, eager and loving combined. With that one kiss, I felt as though my entire bucket of feelings for this girl were pouring into her as they passed through my lips.
Eva’s warm hands slipped down my bare chest, and landed on the button of my jeans. She fumbled with the clasp, but couldn’t get it undone. After a few more tries, her hands fell against the bed, and she chuckled in defeat that throaty, sexy laugh of hers I’d missed so much. Grinning from ear-to-ear, I unbuttoned them for her, and peeled them off. While I did this, she tugged off her yoga pants beneath me. Her feet moved to kick them off her ankles, and then she wrapped her legs around my waist again. The single scraps of fabric between us were enough to drive me insane, especially when Eva began the torturous move of thrusting her hips against me.
“I want you so badly right now,” I muttered, brushing my lips across hers
.
Eva’s nails scrapped across my back in a tantalizing pressure.
“Then take me… After all, don’t you think you’ve made me wait long enough?” She grinned.
My eyes closed as I replayed this perfect girl’s words in my mind. Sinking my teeth into her shoulder for a love bite, I breathed in the scent of her skin. Pulling back to gaze into her ocean-colored eyes, I smiled down at her.
“Never again, Eva Bennett. You will never have to wait like that for me again,” I insisted.
My thumbs hooked onto the sides of her panties, and I pulled them down. She kicked them off her ankles while I tugged my boxers down, and tossed them to the floor. Gripping myself, ready to feel her around me, the realization I didn’t have any protection pierced my mind.
“Damn it,” I muttered.
“What’s wrong?”
Running a hand through my hair, I leaned back on my knees. “I don’t have a condom.”
A devilish smile twisted at her lips, and she reached over her head for the handle on the top drawer of her nightstand. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.”
I laughed at her corny little joke like I’d never laughed before. “Nice one.”
She grabbed a condom, and brought it to her mouth to tear the corner. This was a move I’d seen on TV, but never in my life had I ever witnessed a woman do it in person. Normally, it would have been tossed at me, and I would be the one to handle it. Not with Eva though. Gripping me in her soft hand, she rolled it on. I could have finished right then and there if I’d allowed myself to, because I’d never seen something sexier.
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