And certainly this help would offer more reliable assistance than an idiot demon dog who didn’t have the sense to avoid a silver dagger.
She had another drink and let the icy slide of the liquor soothe her. Then she refilled her glass and lifted it in a toast to Deidre Sterling, wherever she was.
“Your time is short, witch. Enjoy it while you can.”
Traveling by fire was fast, but hard on the nerves.
Deidre lost count of how many times Finn would pause briefly and then flash them away again. All she saw were snatches of countryside, quick peeks at city streets and always the flames flowing up and around her.
By the time he finally stopped, just before dawn, she was dizzy, breathless and more tired than she’d ever been in her life. “Where are we?”
“Northern Maine,” he said, taking her hand and drawing her up the stone path toward a small cabin set amidst tall pines and spruce trees. Overhead, the sky was just beginning to lighten to a pale violet. Snow dusted everything, and coated the steeply sloped roof of the cabin. “I built this cabin fifty years ago. No one knows where it is. It’s protected by charmed wards. You’ll be safe here.”
The minute she stepped inside, she felt the stress of the last couple of days drain away. It was small but cozy and luxurious, with rugs covering most of the hardwood floors. Shelves filled with books marched along one wall, windows giving a view of the front yard took up another and on the far wall was a fireplace as tall as Finn. He called up flames on his hand and threw them at the waiting logs in the hearth.
Instantly, a roaring blaze took hold, chasing away the chill in the room and drawing Deidre closer to its warmth. Odd how she was getting more and more used to this whole supernatural world. Either that, or she was so tired she didn’t have the strength to jolt in surprise anymore.
She stared into the flames. “Now what?”
He came up behind her and the heat streaming from his body put the fire in the hearth to shame. “Now we start the Mating.”
Mating. Sex. Her blood sizzled and steamed in her veins. Her core exploded with damp heat and a wicked sense of expectation rose up inside her. Deidre had to fight for calm. Fight to stay rational. Taking a step away from him, she slipped out of her jacket and tossed it onto the nearest chair.
“I’m not saying I’m not interested, because what would be the point? We both know I am.” God, was she. Her body was burning, aching. In fact, she seemed to be on the verge of a climax already and he hadn’t so much as touched her.
She had never been a particularly sexual person. Not that she was a virgin or anything, but the two men she’d been with in the past hadn’t exactly rocked her world enough that she was desperate for a repeat performance.
At least, she hadn’t been.
Until Finn stormed into her life.
But so much had changed for her so quickly. She could wield magic and had discovered she was a witch. There were hellhounds. Demons. BOW agents murdering a woman in front of her.
She couldn’t trust her own feelings. Not even the desire raking its claws into her. She needed answers before she did anything else.
“What I am saying is that I’m not having sex with you until you talk to me. Explain—everything.”
He shrugged out of his coat and Deidre could only stare. They had both been in the same clothes for more than two days, but she felt like roadkill and he still looked amazing. His black T-shirt stretched across an enormous chest and powerful arms. His black jeans hugged legs that were thick as tree trunks and just as long. His black boots were muddy and he was covered in weapons. If she had any sense at all, she would have been terrified.
Instead, she felt that tingling pulse at her center again and knew that whatever he wanted to do to her, with her, she wanted it, too. She’d never been so torn. Body and mind at war, Deidre was really worried that her body was going to win this battle.
“This is your destiny, Deidre,” he said, pale gray eyes locked on her. “You’ve been heading toward this moment for centuries.”
“Destiny?” Deidre shook her head and said, “Y’know, I’ve been working with witches for years. Maybe I can accept that I’m one of them. But a destiny? To save the world? I don’t buy it.”
“You know it’s true.” He cocked his head and stared at her. “Think about it. All your life, haven’t you felt as though something was missing? As though you weren’t who you were supposed to be? That you weren’t complete somehow?”
“How did you know that?” She had never discussed those feelings with anyone. In fact, she had always tried to not even acknowledge them herself. But the truth was, from the time she was a girl, she had felt as though her life wasn’t right, somehow. As though she was supposed to be doing . . . something else.
She’d spent years looking for that elusive passion that would at last make her feel as if she were complete. As if she had done what she was supposed to do. But she’d never found it. Working with the groups trying to free the witches had been as close as she’d ever come and even then, it still hadn’t felt . . . right.
Deidre looked up into gray eyes that were growing more familiar than she wanted to admit. “Can you read my mind?”
He snorted a laugh. “I already told you no. I don’t have to read your mind to know what you think and feel, Deidre. I have known you for hundreds of years. Your features change in every incarnation, but your mind, and your soul, remain the same.”
“You know how crazy this all sounds, right?”
“It’s not and you know that. I think you can feel that it’s right,” he said and she didn’t know whether to be comforted or worried.
It was true. As hard as it was to acknowledge, she did believe him. But admitting that forced her to take the first step on a road she was still unsure about. Finn was her only guidepost. Through the fear that had been her constant companion for the last few days, the one stable point in her world had been him. He irritated her, pushed her, demanded things from her she would never have tried on her own and expected her to succeed.
He’d saved her life and then turned it upside down. She’d been hunted, threatened, challenged and Deidre had never felt more alive, and aware, in her life. And yet she was also more afraid than she’d ever been, too.
“Okay, say I do believe you. But no more surprises, Finn. I need to know what’s happening between you and me and what’s coming next. You can start by explaining this Mating thing and why we’re destined.”
“Hell, you’re more stubborn in this life than I’ve ever seen you and that’s saying something.”
“Flattery’s not going to work,” she said.
“Fine then. This is about memories,” he told her and stopped, folding his arms over his chest. “Your memories are key.”
“Memories of what?”
“Us,” he said, his voice low, nearly hypnotic as his eyes locked on hers.
“How do I—”
“Open yourself to them, Dee,” he whispered. “Open your mind, your heart. Let the past live again . . . ”
The past . . . Images awakened in her mind. Hazy, indistinct, like photographs left to fade in the sun. There was something almost haunting about them. Tantalizing, as her mind reached to identify them all and came up blank. Frustrating to know that she should know something and be unable to recognize it.
“How is any of this possible?” she murmured, then added quickly before he could speak, “And don’t say ‘magic.’”
He snorted. “It always comes down to the magic, Deidre. It always has and always will.”
She took a long breath and tried to steel herself. She couldn’t do a damn thing, make any decision at all until she knew what the hell was going on. It was way past time to find out.
“Tell me more, Finn. I want to know everything.”
Scowling, he blurt
ed, “Short version? You’re the reincarnation of a powerful witch. Eight hundred years ago, give or take, you and the rest of your coven conjured a spell. You focused your immense powers through a Black Silver Artifact, hoping to open doors into other dimensions. You wanted knowledge. Power . . .”
Deidre shivered despite the heat blasting at her from the hearth and the warmth of him by her side. Memories that weren’t hers whipped through her mind in a rush of sound and scent and color. More vivid this time. More . . . unavoidable. She clapped both hands to her head as if she could slow the stream of information, but it didn’t help. Overwhelmed, she closed her eyes and backed away from Finn until she slammed into the wall behind her. Several books fell from the shelves and clattered at her feet.
He was still talking—just as she’d asked him to.
“We’ve reunited over the centuries, Deidre. Again and again, I watched you live, age and finally die.”
She saw that too, as if he’d conjured the images in her mind. His voice continued, deep, compelling, but she couldn’t look at him. Could see only the pictures flashing through her mind, one after another, over and over and over.
Breath coming fast and frantic, she saw herself over the centuries. Different features, hair, clothing, yet she could always recognize herself. How she knew it, she couldn’t have said. But it was a bone-deep knowledge that left her shaking. And she saw him. Finn. In her life. All of her lives. Sometimes as lover, other times as friend. But there. With her. Always nearby.
“I’ve waited,” he said, each word rumbling through the room like the voice of God and sliding along her spine.
Her eyes remained closed, her hands clenching her head as the years washed through her mind, tumbling over each other like grains of sand lost in an undertow.
Trembling, shaking, she heard him whisper, “Longer than you can imagine, I’ve waited for you. I’m done waiting, Deidre. Our time is now. But first, you have to remember.”
And the force of his voice pushed through the last chinks in the wall in her mind. It peeled back the curtain of time and in a breath, the cabin fell away.
Chapter 18
The wall in Deidre’s mind trembled and cracked, and a crystal clear memory spilled through.
They stood on a high cliff edge over a raging sea. Lightning flashed in a black sky and naked women gathered around a pentacle etched into the dirt. Candles burned at each of the five points, flames dancing in the wind. The women—witches—lifted their arms to the sky, their hair blowing and twisting with the wind.
A chant pulsed out around them. Words blurred, but intent was clear. Fury emanated from the men forced to stand outside the circle of women. Eternals. Trying to stop the witches. Shouting in rage and helpless frustration, they sought to reach the women—and failed.
“God . . .” Deidre whispered, as Finn’s words continued, painting a picture she didn’t want to see—and couldn’t help remembering.
“ . . . it all went wrong.” Finn’s voice was as dark as the memories still churning in her mind. “A portal opened, but it wasn’t to just any dimension. It was a Hellgate. You flung it open—you and your sisters—and demons poured through. A battle raged while the coven fought to close the portal. My brothers and I killed a lot of the bastards, but too many escaped into this world.” He sighed in remembered frustration. “They’re still here, creating havoc, trying to get the gate back open.”
“We did that,” she said and felt a single tear of deep shame roll down her cheek. If she’d been hoping for sympathy—which she wasn’t—she would have been disappointed.
“Yeah.”
She opened her eyes to stare into slate gray eyes that churned with frustration and fury.
“We tried to stop you, but none of you would listen,” he said. “Now it’s your turn to step up and do what you can to fix it.”
Unwanted guilt rolled through her, claiming her and she heard herself ask, “How?”
He moved in closer. “By finding the Artifact. After the Hellgate was closed, the coven shattered the Black Silver Artifact. Each of you took a shard and spread out, hiding the pieces all over the world.”
Deidre swayed. She remembered that, too. The horror, the fear, the shame. She and her sister-witches had turned demons loose on an unsuspecting—and unprepared—world. A shaky breath slid from her lungs as she remembered the horrible days following the opening of the Hellgate. When she had had to face Finn, look into his eyes and realize that not only had she lost the essence of who she was; she had lost her Eternal’s respect as well.
She’d lost so much. All of them had. She remembered walking away from her home, her life, Finn. Their coven had shattered as completely as the Artifact they had destroyed. Each of them had left Haven, alone. She had taken the Black Silver away to lose it somewhere in the world as payment for what she and her sisters had done.
“Oh, God.” Deidre felt an old pain rise up inside her and she fought against it. She didn’t want to accept responsibility for something she had done in another lifetime centuries past. This couldn’t be her burden to carry. She wasn’t that selfish woman who had turned her back on everything she cared about. This was now.
Besides, even if she did want to make things right—“I don’t know where it is.”
“You will,” Finn said softly. “Your memories will become more clear. Mating with me will open doors in your mind. The Mating isn’t just sex, Deidre. It’s the branding of our souls. We Mate and we literally become one.”
She swayed, then locked her knees and stood her ground. “Meaning?”
The fire crackled and snapped greedily over the dry wood and the first rays of sunlight began to slide through the windows to lie across the floor.
“Meaning,” he said softly, “we accept each other. We Mate and each of us gets stronger. The bond we already share will become unbreakable. We have thirty days to complete the Mating now that your powers have awoken and to find the Artifact and return it to Haven—”
Haven. Another name that drew images into her mind. Cave walls, etched with the faces of sister-witches through the ages. Mystical symbols carved into walls veined with silver. Home, she thought wildly. The home that she, in that long-ago time, had lost in a greedy search for power. She shook her head as the information piled up inside her brain and tangled in knots she had no way of straightening out. “Stop. Just—”
“All you need to know right now,” he said, taking a different tack, “is that sex with me will strengthen your magic, awaken the memories we need to complete our quest. At the completion of the Mating you’ll be immortal and I’ll have a heartbeat—giving me a link to humanity—making us the unit we were always meant to be.”
“You don’t have a heartbeat?” How weird that that was the thing that resonated with her.
“No.”
So strange. The most alive male she’d ever known and he had no heartbeat. Just another disturbing piece of the magical world she’d been swept into.
“So we have to Mate,” she said a moment later, with a slow shake of her head. “But you don’t even like me and I’m still not sure I completely trust you.”
He shrugged out of his weapons harness. He dropped his sword onto the closest table and laid the belt of knives alongside it. Sliding her a glance, he asked, “You think that matters? Our feelings don’t count for shit in any of this. It just is. It’s destiny. Fate. Call it whatever you want to.
“The important thing is the mission we have to complete. Because, bottom line, I’m not looking for a Mate. I don’t need a fucking heartbeat. Got along fine without one since the beginning of time.”
His flat, empty voice slapped at her as much as the dismissive words. He’d gone to all this trouble to find her, kidnap her, protect her, all the while knowing he had no intention of keeping her? “Then why—”
“We have sex
.” His features tightened. “We get stronger. We open your memories of the past, find the damn Artifact and then we go our separate ways.”
Well, that was clear enough. A surprisingly strong wave of regret rose up inside her and she dutifully shut it down. She’d had plenty of practice over the years.
After all, Finn wasn’t the first man she’d ever known to want her only for what she could do for him. God, she was an idiot. He didn’t want her. He wanted the witch she had once been. He wanted to use her to complete this quest—but after that, despite any Mating bond between them, he would walk away.
She stared up into pale gray eyes swirling with passions. Anger, desire, frustration. And another memory door opened. One that led her to images of Finn—so many they flashed through her mind with dizzying speed. But always, always, she felt the incredible sexual heat that was swamping her even now.
But that heat didn’t touch her soul. Deidre’s heartbeat thundered in her chest as she considered everything he’d just said. Her hands swiped up and down her arms, because even with the roaring fire right beside her, she felt cold. So cold she might never be warm again.
“Deidre, take a breath,” he said. “You look like you’re gonna keel over.”
“Feel like it,” she admitted. God, what was she supposed to do now? How was she supposed to come to grips with the haunting past and the terrifying present? And the looming embarrassment and disgrace of a destined Mate planning to ditch her.
Deidre stepped out from under his hands. God, she couldn’t think. Could hardly breathe. He was looking at her and seeing the woman who had betrayed him centuries ago and how was she supposed to deal with that? And damned if she’d let him know that his rejection of her had torn at her heart.
“I need a few minutes, Finn. To think. To—” To what? She didn’t know. All she was sure of was that she needed time. Ironic. Since it seemed she had already had centuries to prepare for this moment.
“Fine,” he said tightly. “Why don’t you go clean up? There’s a shower through there.”
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