Deidre flushed. Amazing that she could be embarrassed by this, but it felt so awkward.
“I don’t have a tattoo,” she blurted, shifting her attention back to the dagger.
“What? Of course you do.” Shauna’s voice was filled with confusion. “I know how the Mating works. You and Finn do the deed and get matching brands on your skin, linking you together, preparing you for finishing the mission.”
“Just how many witches know this Mating story, anyway?”
Shauna shrugged. “I don’t know. I heard it the last time I was in Sanctuary. So . . . why don’t you have a tattoo?”
Annoyance flashed. “Because we didn’t Mate.”
“But you had sex.”
Deidre glared at her, and the annoyance bubbling inside suddenly exploded. Problem was, she didn’t know if she was more annoyed with Shauna or herself. She and Finn had made a deal, but lately, Deidre had been reconsidering. Oh, not that she wanted to be the eternal Mate of a man who didn’t actually want her. But the part of her that was that long-ago witch craved the Mating. Craved it because she knew it was the only real way out of this mess. The only way to atone for everything she had done.
“Hello?” Shauna sniped. “You had sex!”
“Yes. Okay? We had sex.” Repeatedly. God, she thought about the night before and nearly shivered at the memory. The juncture of her thighs went hot and damp and needy and just like that, she was wishing Finn would walk through the doorway and toss her on her back. What the hell was happening to her? “You’re the big witch expert. You should know we can have sex and not Mate.”
“Well, why the hell wouldn’t you?” Shauna set down the shotgun she had been cleaning and stood up to loom over Deidre. “Fate of the world not a big enough motivator for you, Dee? Hellhounds, demons and feds after you is just another day at the office?”
Deidre jumped to her feet too, letting the dagger drop to the ground with a soft thump. “This isn’t even your business, Shauna. I don’t quiz you about your nights with Max, do I?”
“Not really the same thing, is it?” Shauna’s dark brown eyes sparked with anger. “What Max and I do together doesn’t affect the world.”
“And this won’t either,” Deidre snapped. “I’m not risking anything, but I’m not going to bind myself to a man who only wants to use me.”
“You’re insane.” Shauna lifted both hands and let them drop to her sides. “Certifiable.”
“If I wasn’t before, I may be now,” Deidre admitted, feeling her own temper spark to match her friend’s. “The last few days haven’t exactly been a vacation, you know.”
“For any of us.”
“Okay, true.” Deidre shook her head and said, “But as far as Finn and I go, neither of us wants a Mate, Shauna. I’m not holding out on him. He agreed to this, too. We’re using sex magic to awaken my powers.”
“Not good enough.” Shauna paced off a few steps, then spun around and came back again. “And Finn knows it. Hell, Dee, every witch in the freaking world knows it. Our one shot at surviving this . . . extermination is for you and the other chosen to claim your Mates and put that fucking Artifact back together. Seal the demon portal. Destroy the Black Silver. Convince the leaders of this planet that witchcraft can be used for good.”
“And you think we don’t know that?” Deidre shouted right back at her friend. “I’ve got enough pressure on me right now, thanks very much.”
“Pressure?” Shauna just stared at her for a long second or two. “I can’t believe you. There are witches all over the earth who would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Did you know that?”
“Yeah, because this is a great gig.”
“It is.” Shauna blew out a breath and whispered, “You have the opportunity to be the hero for a whole race of women. You can save us. You and the other chosen. This is the most important thing that will ever be asked of you and you ‘don’t want a Mate’?”
Well, now she felt small and stupid and selfish, which was probably the point. She scrubbed her hands up and down her arms and glanced around at the armory. Chests filled with swords, knives, throwing stars and racks of silver bullets lined one wall and along the other, every kind of gun imaginable was stacked neatly, awaiting its turn in the fight. Torchlight danced and swayed across the stones and the constant chill in the air seemed somehow thicker, deeper.
Shauna’s voice seemed to echo over and over again in her mind. Specific words resonated more clearly with her than others. The earth. Extermination. The chosen. The Artifact. Black Silver. That last one brought another ripple of unease through her as another door to her past creaked open. She could remember channeling her powers into the darkly gleaming Artifact. She could hear the chants of the others. She remembered looking out, beyond the sacred circle of witches to the Eternals, pacing helplessly outside. She searched for Finn’s face and—
“Damn it, Dee, you have to do this. For all our sakes.”
Deidre snapped out of her memories and right back to this moment in time. She glared at her friend. “Why is my sex life your business?”
“Because your sex life might mean my life?” Shauna shook her head and reached out to hug her briefly and just like that, Deidre’s irritation drained away.
She and Shauna had been friends for five years. They’d seen each other through bad boyfriends, crappy jobs and a few really awful hangovers. They had a bond that wouldn’t be broken by temper—just forged to deeper levels of understanding.
“You think I don’t get how freaked out you are about all of this, but I do.”
Deidre shook her head. “You couldn’t possibly.”
Because even Deidre didn’t completely understand why she was holding back from Mating with Finn. All she was sure of was that anytime she actually considered being his Mate, something held her back. Some small twist of a memory inside her that cut sharp and deep, then disappeared before she could really see it. And she had to ask herself, did she really want to see that memory?
Ignoring that, Shauna continued. “But what you’re not seeing is that it doesn’t matter.” She grabbed Deidre’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “This has been eight hundred years coming, Dee. It’s Fate. Destiny. And you can’t just decide you don’t want to play.”
“I’m doing everything I can,” Deidre muttered, even though she knew it wasn’t true. She was holding back, not committing entirely to this quest she’d been tossed into. Yes, she wanted to help. She wanted to stop all the senseless killing of witches. But there was a part of her that rebelled against being used—even for a grand purpose.
True, she had come to know him better, and to trust him. She even understood her place in all this. But the bottom line was, Finn still needed her around only for what she could do for him. Just like every other man she had ever known. And Deidre was done with being used.
Besides, it wasn’t as if Finn was desperate to Mate with her.
“Not everything.”
“Lay off, Shauna.” She’d been pushed far enough for one day. Deidre wasn’t ready yet to make the kind of full-body commitment Shauna and every other witch expected of her. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready. Maybe that was a huge failing in her. Maybe she’d regret it one day. But for right now, this was what she needed and having her friend jump in her face over it wasn’t helping any.
As if sensing that, Shauna nodded and stepped back. Taking her seat again, she picked up the shotgun and got to work. But she wasn’t quite finished. “I won’t give you any more grief about this for now. But remember, Dee, there’s a world full of witches out there, and they—we—need you.”
Chapter 25
There was a traitor somewhere in Finn’s organization.
Had to be. He didn’t think that ambush on Deidre’s first raid had been a coincidence. The guards were too well armed and too damn ready
. Tony couldn’t have leaked the information, he’d never had the opportunity to tell anyone about the raid and wouldn’t have known specifics anyway. Marco had a wife hiding in Sanctuary, so he wouldn’t do anything to risk her safety. Shauna had been shot and Joe . . . it wasn’t Joe.
Finn knew a real warrior when he met one. And a warrior didn’t turn on his team. So that left him where, exactly?
“With too many questions,” he grumbled, taking a quick look around the area. He was outside Franklin Square on K Street. Named after Ben Franklin—who Finn had quite liked back in the day—the park was a terraced slope of grass and trees, bare for the winter, and a fountain that splashed fitfully in the cold air.
It was a gray and cloudy afternoon; the icy wind promised snow for later. Discarded newspapers rattled in the wire trash cans and a car horn sounded out in the distance.
The homeless gathered here in the park, for camaraderie or warmth or just to annoy the wealthy residents of the nearby neighborhoods. Most of them camped out beside Commodore Barry’s statue, which meant they weren’t close enough to Finn to notice when he flashed out to the tunnels below.
His exceptional eyesight scanned the tunnel and found it empty. Most of the team had gone topside. Finn wasn’t happy about it, but he couldn’t force them to stay in the tunnels. The time was coming, of course, when the tunnels would be their only safe refuge. But for now, he supposed they should blow off steam while they could.
Joe had gone to visit his father two days ago. Shauna was off spending the night with Max, and Marco and a couple of the others were in Sanctuary, visiting family kept there for their own safety.
Locking people away to keep them safe. Hell of a world, Finn thought, remembering all the times he’d seen the same kind of persecution rise up and take over. The Inquisition came to mind. When the church had perfected torture. But that was just one of the many times people had turned on each other in the name of fear.
Shaking his head, he realized that after centuries of keeping his distance, he was being drawn deeper into the humans’ world. He actually cared about these witches and the people who were trying so hard to save them.
“Sucker,” he muttered. His footsteps echoed in the tunnel as he stomped along the well-worn path. He glanced into the empty chambers he passed and kept going. Instinct was guiding him now and those instincts were leading him to Deidre.
He felt her presence like a soothing balm against an ancient wound. Every thought centered around her. His body ached for hers, continuously. She had become essential to him in the last several days. He wasn’t even sure how it had happened—especially since he had been so determined to simply complete the mission and then walk away.
Now, walking away from her felt a more impossible task than finding that damned Artifact.
Scowling at his own thoughts, he followed the curve of the tunnel and stopped dead at the entrance to the chamber he shared with Deidre.
“It’s a disguise.”
“Yeah,” Finn said with a short laugh as his gaze swept her up and down. Damn. Gone a few hours to reconnoiter and when he comes back, the woman he knew looked completely different. “I guessed that.”
The long blond hair that he loved to wrap around his hand was hidden beneath a short, spiky black wig that made her features look almost elven. Silver hoops flashed at her ears, winking in the torchlight. She wore black jeans, a dark green GWU sweatshirt and a pair of boots. She looked like a college student out for a nightlong pub crawl. The dark glasses covering her eyes seemed silly inside the tunnels, but he got what she was going for.
“The question is, why the disguise?”
She pulled off the sunglasses and twirled them by one earpiece. Her blue eyes fixed on him. “Because if I don’t get out of these tunnels for a while, I’m going to snap, Finn.”
His smile disappeared and he shook his head once.
“You could at least hear me out.”
“No way.” He stepped past her into their chamber and shrugged out of his long black leather coat. The cool air on his skin tempered the heat raging inside him. “It’s safer down here.”
“I’d be even safer dead,” she said. “But I don’t want that, either.”
“Don’t even say it.” Because the thought of Deidre hurt or dead pumped mindless rage through his arteries. He couldn’t watch her die. Not again.
She took a deep breath and blew it out again in a rush. “Sorry. But, Finn, I need to get out. Breathe air that doesn’t taste like damp rock. See the damn sky.”
He felt her turmoil. Heard it in her voice. Tension rolled off of her in waves that slapped at him and every instinct he possessed. He knew she was safest in the tunnels. But he also knew that caging Deidre wasn’t the way to earn her trust or her cooperation.
She never had done well in enclosed spaces. Through the centuries, if given a choice, she had always chosen to live away from crowds, out in the open. In the mountains, at the beach, in a forest. Even when she had lived in the city though, she had taken every opportunity to be out in the open because seeing the sky, the trees, fed her soul. So being in these tunnels for extended periods was like being shut away in prison for her. No wonder she wanted to get out.
Didn’t mean he had to like it, though. “Whose idea was the wig and”—he waved a hand at the outfit—“all of this?”
She grinned and turned, letting him get the full effect. Pretty impressive, he had to admit. If his body wasn’t magically linked to hers, if he didn’t feel her presence, he might not have known her. That damn wig made the biggest difference. It changed her looks completely.
When she was facing him again, she said, “It was Shauna’s idea. She took me to the room where you store all the extra clothing and the disguises you keep for the team. Fascinating, really. Anyway, she was getting ready to go meet Max and I thought—”
She kept talking. Rambling, words speeding up in her rush to convince him to let her go aboveground. He looked at her and felt something inside him turn over. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement and her mouth curved in a smile despite the fast flow of words erupting from her.
Desire curled low and hot in his belly. He was instantly hard and ready for her, body aching with a need only she could assuage.
He smirked inwardly at just how bad he’d become over the last few days. Finn remembered all too well how he’d laughed at his brothers when their Mates had run them in circles. He’d watched as they’d made what he considered stupid decisions all because they wanted to please their witches. Now it looked as though he owed his brothers apologies.
Because damned if he wanted to be the one to wipe the excited gleam from her eyes. To end that smile that tugged at his nonbeating heart.
Hell, he knew what she was feeling, trapped down here. And she’d done well up till this point. Hadn’t bitched or complained. Hadn’t demanded special treatment. Hadn’t even asked to contact her mother again since that one little slice of blackmail.
She was throwing herself into learning combat techniques, focusing her magic and opening her memories. She had done everything demanded of her—but for the Mating. And he couldn’t fault her for that, since he had argued to skip the Mating as well.
His chest ached now, as badly as his dick. And if he didn’t know better, he’d swear his heart was actually twisting. The thing was, the more time he spent with her, the more he actually wanted to Mate with Deidre. He hadn’t lied when he told her their destinies were entwined. His soul burned to become a part of hers. To join their very essences in the most profound way possible.
To keep her from dying and leaving him again.
But Mating would do more than help in their search for the Artifact. It would also open up all of her memories. And he didn’t really want her remembering that one last night.
Eight hundred years and still that memory made him ashamed and
furious. Everything in him yearned to take her as his Mate now; she’d become so much a part of him that the thought of losing her tore at the frayed edges of his soul. But he didn’t want to risk Deidre remembering that last night—not until he’d had time to prove to her that she wasn’t the only one who had changed and grown over the centuries.
So, though he wanted her—he couldn’t have her. Not completely.
“Come on, Finn,” she urged, walking toward him, a hopeful look in her eyes. “Give a little.”
He shouldn’t. But he knew he was going to.
“What’d you have in mind?”
Excitement bubbled around her. He could practically see it in the air. “A movie? No, scratch that. Don’t want to be inside. A walk in the park? Go see all of the Christmas lights?”
Finn surrendered to the inevitable. He couldn’t stand against her. Never had been able to except for that one time and look where that had gotten them.
“If we do this, we wait till night to go. Easier to stay unnoticed at night. You stay by my side the whole time,” he said tightly, “and when I say it’s time to go, we go. No arguments.”
She crossed her heart and then held up three fingers in a well-known Girl Scout salute. “Absolutely.”
“Fine. We’ll go tonight.”
Deidre threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight. She buried her face in the curve of his neck and said, “Thanks, Finn. I owe you.”
His arms came around her and he held her close. “Damn right you do.”
She pulled her head back and grinned up at him. Her blue eyes shining, she asked, “So, what will we do until it’s time to go topside?”
Instantly, his body went even harder than it had been—something he would have thought impossible until Deidre. “I’ve got a few ideas about that.”
“Can’t wait to hear them,” she said and kissed him.
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