Chapter 3
Billie wrapped a towel around her head and checked to make sure her robe was tied closed before she headed into the kitchen for a beer. The sun was setting over the mountains, and her view was spectacular. The evening air was warm, but not sticky, and the breeze coming in through the open windows was heaven against her heated skin.
It’d been a long ass day, one of the longest so far. She’d spent most of it going through Laura’s belongings and making sure she didn’t get rid of anything of value while she cleaned out her bedroom. She cried, a lot- swore more than once- but, after she’d organized and cleaned the entire room, she felt better. Less heavy, like the load was getting easier to carry every day that Laura was gone.
She’d been the best second-mother any gal could ask for. Stern when it was needed, soft when it was called for, and supportive always. It broke Laura’s heart when Noah left home, much like it had Billie’s, and together they’d bonded in their grief over it. Sure, he called Laura here and there, sent her photos of some of the places he’d been, photos of him with his crew. But, he’d never come home. Kept saying he’d get around to it, but never actually did it.
Billie resented him for that. After a while, though, Laura hadn’t wanted to hold on to hers, and let it go. She always encouraged Billie to do the same, but Billie was a little more stubborn. There was no reason for her to forgive him; he wasn’t her son, and after he skipped out, he wasn’t her family anymore, either.
Laura always told Billie she’d grow old and bitter if she didn’t let go of that venom in her veins, but at the end of the day, that venom kept her smart. It kept her strong, resilient, and above all else, it kept her together. After he left them behind, it could have broken her into pieces, could have ruined her.
But, she held strong and lived her life anyways, which to Billie, said a lot. See, she never knew her father. All she ever knew was Noah’s. Her daddy left her and her mother, Mary, when Billie was only a few weeks old. She’d never had a father-daughter connection before Daniel Osborne came into her life. To her, men were always leavin’; by choice, or by death, they always found a way to go.
It didn’t leave much for Billie to look forward to, which meant she was unattached and unaffected by most events in life, before Laura died. Now, she felt all those emotions she tried her hardest to escape from bubbling up to the surface. What kind of a woman would she be if she gave in? Billie had always been described as a lot of things, but soft, wasn’t one of them.
The sound of a bike in the distance caught her attention, and she frowned.
He can’t be here already…
With trepidation roiling in her stomach, she pushed the screen door open and stepped out onto the wraparound porch, hoping with all her might that the sound she was hearing was not Noah ‘Slayer’ Osborne coming home.
The rider was blonde, that much she could tell; a dead giveaway that is was him. He had on a matte black helmet and a leather cut that only served to show off his tan muscles, even though Billie tried not to stare. His jeans were dirty from hours of riding, and his boots were also muddy from his journey. His sunglasses were shiny in the waning sunlight as he pulled them from his head as he turned off his bike and kicked the stand out.
He climbed over the side of his bike and took a second to remove his helmet, letting his long blonde hair down, before he ran his hand through it and hung his helmet on his black handlebars. If that was Noah, he’s grown up good, and damn, did Billie notice. He wasn’t buff but he wasn’t lean either, and he was a sweet shade of golden brown that only made his blonde hair more pronounced in the sunlight.
It wasn’t until she saw his crystalline blue eyes in the sunlight that she knew for sure it was him. He didn’t speak, didn’t even try. He had whiskers growing all along his chin and the dimple that hovered directly below his bottom lip was almost completely hidden by the blonde hairs. He had visible tattoos beneath the sleeves of his white t-shirt, tattoos he hadn’t left home with. This wasn’t the same man she’d said goodbye to, and that much was obvious. This Noah was dangerous, much more dangerous than she’s given his voice credit for over the phone.
“You’re already wet for me, and I haven’t even kissed you yet. Just like old times, huh?”
His voice startled her, and his words instantly offended her- what the hell was he talking about?
“Excuse me?,” She demanded.
His perfect, pink mouth, lifted into a smile and he stepped towards her, his long legs closing the distance between them too quickly for her tastes. He pointed towards the ground, his lips still quirked.
“You’re drippin’ Billie, and I ain’t even touched you, yet.”
Her gaze traveled south to meet his, and her shoulders relaxed when she saw the water droplets on the wood beneath her feet, which were nothing more than run-off from her shower.
“You’re an idiot, Noah.”
His smile fell, “My name is Slayer. I’d appreciate if you called me that.”
He had to have known that saying it that way would do nothing more than piss her off, which it did. Billie couldn’t hide the anger that sparked in her eyes,a nd she didn’t really care to, because the last thing on the planet she cared about was doing anything that Noah would appreciate.
“You know I ain’t gonna do that. The name is stupid, and I refuse to call you what every other road whore calls you,” She snapped.
His head snapped up as he glared at her, his intense eyebrows slipping down to cover his narrowed eyes.
“My brothers call me that name. I earned it, Billie. It ain’t stupid to me.”
Billie couldn’t help the laugh that slithered from between her lips as she rounded on him, her mouth damn near touching his. The air between them crackled and sizzled with an electric current only the two of them could create.
“I don’t give a hoot about your brothers, your sisters, or your whores, Noah. My loyalty ain’t to them, it’s to Laura and Daniel. The ones who gave you life and that name. Remember them? Remember Laura, your mother? The one who begged you to come home so she could see you one last time, but you ignored?”
Noah reared back like he’d been slapped, his expression angry and stormy and downright scary. Billie knew what Noah looked like angry; she’d seen him every shade of red in the book. But, this Noah? This outlaw Noah? She had no idea what he was capable of, and she didn’t neccesarily want to find out.
“I was gonna stop by here, let you know I was in town, and then find someplace else to sleep. But, now? Well, now I think I’ll stay here with you, since I can see how much you missed me.”
“Like hell!”
“Yeah, it will be, won’t it?”
His words hit her like a smack in the face considering the fact that he was now invading her territory.
“This isn’t your house anymore!”
He turned so fast they nearly ran into one another.
“Wrong! It’s in my name and has been for about three years now. Mama couldn’t afford the mortgage anymore, so I paid it off. Technically I own it!”
Billie’s mouth fell open at that nugget of truth.
“What the hell are you talking about? I paid the damn mortgage with my own money every month!”
“You paid what mama already owed, Billie. She didn’t tell you she was behind because she didn’t want you to worry. When she called me crying about it, I took the responsibility off her shoulders and paid the rest of the house off.”
“I’ve been living in your house for three years?,” She sputtered.
He nodded.
“I’ll go stay in town. Give me a minute to pack some of my things.”
He shook his head immediately and tried to stop her by wrapping a hand around her arm.
“I know you’re pissed at me, and I don’t blame you, but you don’t have to leave. This is your home. I’m only here to settle the rest of mama’s debts, and then I’m gone.”
His tone was soft and sincere and Billie’s tense shoulders relaxe
d immediately.
“I don’t want to share my space with you.”
“I know you don’t, and that kills me inside, but right now, I have other things to worry about. We can argue all day about it tomorrow, but I’m tired. I’ve been riding for a long time, and I haven’t had a real meal in a while. Do you mind if I get settled in, and eat something before I take you on?”
Billie hated that she understood his gentle request, and she hated that she responded to the way that he’d worded it.
“That kills me inside.”
What kind of jerk would prey on her feelings like that? She wanted to argue some more, but after what she’d just found out about the house, she really didn’t have anything valid to say. Why wouldn’t Laura have told her that they were in the hole? She’d lived with Laura nearly her whole life, helping her out, taking care of her. She wouldn’t have let them lose the house had she known, she just would have worked that much harder to keep it in the family.
Well, her family.
She didn’t have anyone else now that Laura was gone.
Slayer was still holding onto her arm when she looked up at him, positive she looked as defeated as she felt in that moment.
“We can talk tomorrow. I think its best if we take some time to ourselves,” She said softly.
He nodded even though he looked like he wanted to say more; it looked like he had some apology working its way across his tongue, ready to spill out at any second. Billie stopped that act by placing her palm over his warm lips, his whiskers caressing her palm.
“No. I’m not ready. Save it for the right time,” She said.
He seemed to know exactly what she was talking about because he dipped his head and released her, moving away from her touch.
“I see that you cleaned mom’s room out. I’ll get an air mattress in town and sleep on the floor for the time I’m here,” He called from the hallway.
Billie didn’t comment on the fact that it’d taken Laura nearly two years to clean out Noah’s room. It was a sad day for both of them, but he wouldn’t know that because he never asked. She couldn’t imagine that he’d ever really wanted to know the extent of the destruction he left behind. She didn’t really want to tell him.
With a generic response on the tip of her tongue, Billie shook her head and headed for her own room. It was going to be a long night, and she wasn’t exactly sure she was prepared to survive it.
Chapter 4
Billie tossed and turned long enough that she decided a midnight cup of coffee would serve her well. She figured Noah was asleep and that a little scouring of the kitchen would be fine. After a very uncomfortable few hours of being awake at the same time, Billie had opted to go to bed early, even though they both knew that she wasn’t actually sleeping.
Being states away from Noah had been hard enough, but being feet away from him? That was a torture she didn’t even realize existed until she’d closed her bedroom door and trapped all of her emotions inside her room with her. It was one thing to resent him from across the country, but to actually be under the same roof as him? Knowing now what he’d done for her and Laura? Well, that only made her question herself.
The stars were bright and the heat still lingered on the night air as she stepped outside, closing the front door as quietly as she could. If he was asleep, she didn’t want to chance waking him up, because as much as she tried to prepare herself for the inevitable showdown they were going to have… It was going to be just as volatile as their connection had always been, and she wasn’t so sure she could stand it.
The rocking chair Laura had loved to occupy was now empty, and exactly where Billie decided to take a seat. It shifted slightly beneath her, both from her weight and old age. It was the only thing that was left from their original days together as a family; Noah and his father built it together when she was sixteen, and he’d gifted it to her for her birthday. Laura never could quite sever that dream, that her and Noah would end up together again.
“You never forget your first love.”
Those words bounced out of that old woman’s mouth more times than Billie could count, and it never ceased to rub her the wrong way, which is exactly why Laura made mention of it so often. That old woman had loved to push Billie to be better, and one of the ways she’d wanted her to be better, was to be more forgiving.
Billie never really did learn the technique of it, choosing instead to simply move on from a situation instead of granting so much of herself. If it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out; if someone hurt her, she simply forgot they existed. Billie didn’t wasn’t time assessing the situation if it were severe enough, she just cut it out of her mind and out of her live and moved on.
That’s what she’d had to do with Noah, and it’d worked…for years, she hadn’t paid that idiot any mind. One phone call wrecked all that, wrecked her right down to her core, and she hated it. Part of being too strong was knowing her limits, and Billie knew that she was going to be sorely tested while he was in town. She wouldn’t be able to resist him if he pursued her hard enough.
If she knew Noah Osborne, she knew anyone, and that meant that it was inevitable that he he’d try to win her back. In one way or another, she knew, that he wouldn’t just leave it at her forgiving him. No, he’d want the whole kit and caboodle. He’d want her forgiveness, her time, and her love.
She didn’t want him to have any of it.
The slamming of the screen door against the worn wooden frame startled her. She didn’t bother to look up at Noah as he came to stand next to her, leaning against the railing behind him. She could feel his eyes on her, but she was adamant that she would not make eye contact.
He didn’t deserve it.
“You’re really gonna make me work for it, ain’t ya?”
“Ain’t nothin’ to work for, Noah. Just leave me be.”
His sexy ass voice formed a laugh she hadn’t heard in years and it had her stomach clenching. She wasn’t wearing a towel on her head or her robe anymore, instead opting for a floor-length silk nightgown to stave off the heat.
“Come on, baby, I know you better than anyone on this planet,” He murmured.
Billie tried, tried not to lose her cool.
“Don’t call me that. Maybe you used to know me, but now? We’re practically strangers.”
Only then did Billie chance looking up into his eyes; to make sure her point got made. Something flickered in his eyes that surprised her, something she didn’t expect to see; regret.
“It’s a shame I left you behind the way I did-”
Determined that she couldn’t hear what he was about to say, she stood and ;eft her coffee mug on the ground behind her. Before she could get inside, however, Noah wrapped an arm around her waist and yanked her backwards, bringing her spine into contact with his rock hard chest.
“I don’t wanna hear this,” She whispered.
Tears were stinging the backs of her eyes, threatening to fall, and she couldn’t breathe.
“You need to hear it. Whether or not you believe it is one thing, but Billie, I’m fuckin’ sorry,” He whispered heatedly.
It landed on the back of her neck and she fought like hell not to lean not the feeling of him holding her. It’d been so long since she felt the heat of another person against her skin, let alone Noah, that she trembled from the weight of it.
“No, no, no! For which part? Leaving me, or leavin’ your mama? For never returning even though you said you would, or for forgetting the both of us after you climbed onto that bike and rode away?”
Each word burned the back of her throat like acid, and it ached inside to say the words out loud, but she couldn’t let him talk to her back anymore. She ripped out of his grip and turned to face him, ready to hear what he had to say. Tears trickled down her flushed cheeks, but she didn’t care. Her long hair got caught in the breeze, a few strands lifting in front of her eyes, sticking to her wet eyelashes.
Noah watched her with those wide eyes that she still loved s
o much it hurt, and she wondered what was going on in his head.
“Billie-I’m sorry I left,” He said on a huff.
It was obvious he was just as affected by the situation as her, but she didn’t want his pity or his guilt. She didn’t even know if his genuine remorse could ease the hurt, because it would always be there between them now.
Before she could stop herself, Billie reared back and smacked him across the cheek as hard as her arm would allow. He jerked from the force of it, grunted under his breath, but he didn’t raise a hand against her. Maybe this Noah wasn’t so different from the one that she knew, but only time would tell, and time had never been on their side anyways.
Crying with her whole heart, Billie ran her hands through her hair and over her eyes before she looked up at him again. He looked sad, defeated, and she rejoiced in it for a moment; she wanted him to feel as badly as she had, she wanted him to know.
“I waited for you. I waited for you to come home, and you didn’t, and now mama is gone and it’s just me.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head and hesitated before she wrapped her arms around his neck and gripped him tight, her lips hovering over his ear.
“I loved you, Noah. I loved you more than I loved anyone, and you left me. All these years, and the only thing you can tell me is that you’re sorry? For what, exactly? For leaving me outside of our home, barefoot, and cryin’? For knowing that you were all I had, and throwing that back in my face? Forgiveness doesn’t live here, sweetheart. If that’s what you’re lookin’ for, then you’ll have to get back on that bike of yours, and let it lead you elsewhere. Go on, then. Leave. It’s what you’re good at. Six years may be a long time to some, but by the looks of you, your skill set hasn’t changed any.”
With tears sticking to her mouth and sadness wafting from her pores, Billie turned her back on Noah Osborne. It wasn’t a long walk back to her bedroom, not long at all, but by the time she reached her silk sheets, she felt like her entire world had been torn to pieces. She could feel it, underneath her skin, like a fever.
Lust (Seven Deadlies MC Book 5) Page 2