Lily giggled. "It'll save until next Christmas."
That's what worried him. It would save for Christmas after Christmas after Christmas. If things went the way this sort of thing usually did, it would soon have company. Before long there'd be a mob of selfish little monsters demanding all of Lily's time and attention. Zac didn't like that at all.
But he was almost willing to chance it. The thought of making love to Lily was just about to torch his body.
"This isn't something to be taken lightly," he said, trying to grab hold of the last shred of his sanity before it went up in flames. "You've got to think about this."
"I have."
"We've got to think about it," he said. "Everybody knows I'd make a terrible father. Maybe you don't want--"
"Who dared say such a thing?" Lily demanded, martial light flaring in her eyes. "If Sarah Thoragood has the nerve to come in your own saloon and say something like that, I'll--"
"No, not Mrs. Thoragood. Everybody says it." Zac cringed at the thought of Lily attacking the preacher's wife because she'd spoken out against her gambler husband. What the newspapers could do with a story like that! It would be enough to bring her Papa from the East at a gallop. When he found out the marriage was a sham, there'd be a scandal that would ruin Lily forever.
"It's time to open," Zac said, grabbing for straws. "We can't discuss it now."
"When?"
She wasn't going to let this go.
"Tomorrow, if you're still of the same mind. Now you'd better hurry up. I don't want all those early birds beating down the doors wanting to know where I've hidden you."
"I wouldn't care what they did if you'd just hide me in the same room with you."
Zac could feel the flame encircling him. Another few seconds and he'd be nothing but a pile of ashes.
"Tomorrow," he said, virtually pushing her out the door. "We'll talk about nothing but babies."
"Promise?"
Hell, how did he get himself into these things! Talking about babies was just about as cheerful as talking about arming cuckolded husbands with shotguns. But he couldn't refuse. It was obviously important to Lily. And anything important to her was also important to him, even if it did make him as nervous as a cat.
"I promise," he said, brushing his finger along her jaw. She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek. When she dropped a kiss in the middle of his palm, his resistance nearly collapsed. She looked up and smiled, and he felt himself sliding helplessly.
"I'd better go," she said, standing on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss. "I think I hear them already."
She disappeared through the door just in time. One more minute, and he'd have started the baby-making process right here on his office carpet.
He collapsed in his chair. Well, so much for gambling tonight. Instead of kings and queens, he'd be seeing pink and blue babies. He wouldn't be able to beat a six-year-old.
Chapter Twenty-one
Zac trudged up the stairs. He had had some miserable nights lately, but this had been the king of them all, the apex of wretched, the pinnacle of appalling. His life was going to hell in a handbasket, and he couldn't seem to do a damned thing about it.
He'd been thinking of Lily all night. He might as well have stayed in his office. People spoke to him, and he didn't hear them. His staff asked him questions, and he didn't answer. He had wandered through the saloon like he had no idea where he was going or why he was here. It was a good thing Dodie wasn't here. She'd have laughed herself sick.
All because Lily wanted a baby.
No, because he wanted to give Lily a baby.
He couldn't believe it himself, but after an evening when he'd thought of virtually nothing else, he realized it was true. He wanted to give Lily babies.
Damnation, hellfire, and forked-tongued devils! He didn't even like children, and here he was thinking about them in the plural. He ought to check himself into a mental clinic. No, what he needed was a good night's sleep. He was run down, exhausted. He was hallucinating. A solid eight hours in bed and he'd see things in a whole new light.
He walked down the narrow hall, his footsteps muffled by the runner. It was an unnecessary precaution. Most of the girls were so tired a freight train wouldn't have awaken them.
He entered his room, lighted the lamp on the table by the door, and walked through the bathroom to his closet. As he took off his clothes, he kept telling himself he couldn't make love to Lily until he found Windy and got the marriage registered.
Zac's body didn't have any such reservations. Just the thought of making love to Lily caused him to be stiffly erect. He had to smile. It was probably the only time he'd ever been practically ready to jump out of his skin with rampant lust and was preparing to go to bed alone.
He thought of Lily sleeping soundly in her own bed. It wouldn't take long to reach Bella's. He could put his clothes back on in a matter of minutes. There was nothing wrong with him showing up at his wife's bedroom. True, she really wasn't his wife, but nobody knew that, and he intended to see about fixing that first thing in the morning. Or afternoon. It didn't matter what order you got things in as long as it all worked out in the end.
Zac actually reached out to take his pants off the rack again. Instead he muttered a string of curses, took off his underwear, picked up his lamp, and headed for the bedroom. He had to get in bed and asleep before he did something crazy. He was halfway across the room before he realized Lily was sleeping in his bed.
Instantly his body was at full attention.
He didn't know how she had gotten in without anyone noticing. She must have come through the back door. He looked at her dress folded neatly on the chair It wasn't the same one she'd worn last night. She must have gone back to Bella's then changed her mind.
She'd been thinking about babies as much as he had.
He had to wake her and get her back to her own room.
He stopped his tracks. He couldn't wake Lily and give her hell for sleeping in his bed while he was buck naked, his body hard enough to serve as a coat rack. He sat the lamp down and hurried back to his wardrobe. He rustled around until he found a bathrobe. But that was nearly as bad. It tented in front of him, the cause unmistakable.
Back in the closet he rummaged through a drawer for his tightest pair of underclothes. That turned out to be a pair of long underwear. It was summertime, but that couldn't be helped. It was either that or bind himself as tight as Chinese women bound their feet. The thought made his body ache.
He hurried back to the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed to make his bulge less apparent. He shook Lily awake.
She came awake gradually. She smiled when she saw him. "I came back."
"So I see, but you can't stay here. You've got to leave before anybody notices."
"But I don't want to leave." She yawned. "I came to tell you I've been thinking about what you said about the baby."
"I said we'd discuss it in the morning."
"But we don't need to. I've already decided. That's why I came back. I want to start right now. Tonight."
The bulge got harder than ever. Zac shifted uncomfortably. He was feeling terribly hot.
"It's almost morning," Zac said. His protest lacked conviction even to his own ears. "I've been up all night."
"Jacob said that doesn't make any difference to men."
"What?" Zac said, utterly confused.
"My brother. I heard him talking to Joseph, my other brother. He said men can make a baby any time of the day or night."
Zac was feeling hotter still. He couldn't tell if it was anticipation or the long underwear.
"I really don't think--"
"Don't you like me?"
"Of course I do."
"Jacob said it was the women who always hung back. He said men didn't need any encouragement."
Zac's temperature went up another five degrees. He decided all the Sterling men talked too much, especially when they were within Lily's hearing
"I like you very muc
h," Zac said. "I can hardly control myself as it is, but I want you to be sure you--"
"I am sure." Lily threw back the covers. "See, I'm naked like you."
She was right about that. The young, firm breasts he'd dreamed of for weeks were right there for him to see. All he had to do was reach out and touch them.
Zac thought he would explode. He'd never actually heard of it happening, but he was certain this kind of sexual temptation could cause a man to go crazy. He could almost feel himself beginning to melt into a mindless puddle.
Perspiration rolled down his nose. It was come out of these long underwear or die.
Zac pulled the sheet up. "Cover yourself,"' he said, his voice tight with emotion. "A thing like that could cause a man to die from shock."
"I don't want you to die. I want you to--"
"I know what you want, but you've got to be sure. You can't decide tomorrow you'd like to change your mind."
Her delighted chuckle stopped him.
"You don't have to be afraid I'm going to change my mind. And you can stop hiding your feelings behind silly remarks. I know exactly what I'm doing."
"I'm not trying to hide anything. Well, that's not exactly true, but it's not what you think."
Zac jumped to his feet, turned his back to Lily, reached inside the robe, and jerked the long underwear down to his ankles. He sighed with relief. Keeping his back to Lily and his robe well bunched, he sat back down on the bed. When he turned around, she had the covers down again.
"Won't you come to bed with me?"
"I . . . You . . . For pete's sake, stop pulling the covers down!"
"Jacob said a man couldn't resist the sight of a woman's naked breasts."
"Your brothers talk too damned much."
Lily didn't move. Her invitation was impossible for him to refuse any longer. "Let it be recorded somewhere that I tried. But flesh and blood can only stand so much."
He stood up, undid his robe, and jumped under the covers.
"Oh!" Lily said.
"You weren't supposed to look."
"But you didn't look like that before."
"You hadn't teased and tortured me before."
"Oh!"
"Stop saying Oh! like a scared virgin, or I'm going to start feeling guilty again."
"Do you often feel guilty?"
"This is the first time."
"Then I'm glad."
"I'm not. It sets up a confusing set of cross currents."
"Can we start now?" Lily asked.
"Wait a minute," Zac said. "I need to get mentally adjusted. The baby won't come any slower if we take a few minutes to work into this properly."
"Is there a proper way to work into it?"
"Well, maybe not a proper way. Everybody goes about it a little differently."
"I should have asked Dodie about your special way. Then I'd be ready."
Zac blushed from hairline to toenail. He reached out and took Lily's hand. He kissed her fingers. "You don't need to ask anybody anything. It could never be the same as with you."
Lily felt like a queen as Zac kissed her fingers, lingering over each one as though they required individual attention. He moved from knuckle to knuckle. She wouldn't have believed he had such patience. She wasn't certain she did. She wanted him to get to the kissing and holding part. She knew about that, and she knew she liked it.
Now he was kissing the palm of her hand. Quite a delicious feeling radiated along her limbs. But it was barely a prelude to the sensations that assaulted her when he kissed her wrist and then her inner arm. She nearly melted.
He started with the fingers of her other hand, and Lily decided this was quite a pleasant way to go about having a baby. She wondered if all men used this method. She couldn't see how any woman could consider it suffering. She wouldn't mind trying to have a baby just about every day.
When Zac's lips reached her upper arm, the crescendo of sensations took Lily's mind off everything except what was happening to her. She had feared she was being too brazen when she climbed into his bed without any clothes on. Now she was glad she had. Her nakedness against the sheets made her skin all that more sensitive to Zac's lips.
At the moment, she wondered if she could stand any more. He was kissing her shoulder, the side of her neck, the tops of her breasts, sending arcs of hot desire racing through her body. She'd never known she could feel anything remotely like this. It made her want to reach out, grab Zac, and pull him to her. But she didn't. Everything he had done was quite wonderful. If there was a proper way to go about doing this, she didn't want him to miss a single step. So far she'd liked every one of them.
Zac touched her nipple with the tip of his warm, moist tongue, and Lily nearly lifted off the bed. It was like a bolt of lightning racing to every part of her body and back again to her nipple. Then Zac took the nipple gently into his mouth, and Lily thought she would die of pleasure. She grasped his hair but immediately relaxed her grip for fear she'd pull it out.
She moved her hands down his neck, across his shoulders, and down his back. She felt almost like a wanton, luxuriating in the feel of a man's body, wallowing in the pleasure of what he was doing to hers. She knew she wasn't supposed to be enjoying this so much, but she couldn't see how she could do anything else.
The suffering part must come later.
Zac lips deserted her nipple. Leaving a trail of kisses across her bosom, neck, and jaw, he kissed her firmly on the lips. Lily lost all reserve. She flung her arms around Zac, pulled his body down on top of hers, and kissed him with all the happiness and excitement in her heart.
She was relieved to see Zac wasn't offended by her show of aggressiveness. In fact, he seems quite heartened by it. He slipped his arms under and around Lily and squeezed her until she thought she wasn't going to be able to breathe.
She was relieved to see another myth debunked. A nice girl didn't have to wait for the man to make all the advances. Lily decided she liked not waiting for Zac to think of everything. She put her arms around him, pressed her body firmly against his, and kissed him with all her might.
There was something decidedly hard and hot pressed against her abdomen, something that distracted her thoughts from Zac's kiss. She knew what it was.
Maybe that was the part she wouldn't like.
She planned to get as much pleasure beforehand as she could. She kissed Zac all over the face. His mustache tickled, but nothing slowed her down until Zac's rumbling laugh.
"You don't have to go so fast. We've got all night."
She didn't want to tell him she was trying to get so drunk on his kisses she wouldn't feel the suffering.
"It's getting light already," she said between kisses. "It'll be time to get up in an hour."
"Not this morning," Zac said taking her face in his hands and planting a kiss on the end of her nose. "You can spend this morning in bed."
"Does it take all morning to make a baby?"
"It can if you want it to."
She wasn't going to make up her mind until she knew about the suffering part. In the meantime, she loved being next to Zac, being held in his arms, having him kiss her eyelids. She felt positively decadent. She was certain the Queen of Sheba had behaved something like this. Surely it wasn't right for her to like the same things as a pagan Queen.
But Lily forgot all about queens, pagan or otherwise. Zac was alternately nibbling and blowing gently in her ear. She could hardly stand it.
"Is this how you make a baby?" she murmured.
"Not precisely," Zac whispered against her neck, "but it makes it more fun."
Lily had to admit it was all terribly pleasant, if not downright electrifying, but she was growing nervous about the bad part. It must be truly awful to make a woman want to give up what Zac was doing to her now.
She was tempted to forget about the bad part and the baby and just enjoy herself while she could. When he started kissing her breasts again, she was certain nothing could be more wonderful than this. But then his finge
rtips began a delicate meandering over her body, along her side, over and around her breasts, and down her belly. When they didn't stop at her navel, Lily's body grew rigid.
Zac's fingers made a quick detour over her hip, down her leg, and behind her knee. It set her entire body on fire.
"Don't be frightened," Zac said. "I'll tell you when it's going to be uncomfortable."
So it was going to hurt. Her mother was right. She would have to suffer. Okay, but she was going to garner every bit of pleasure she could beforehand. She threw her leg across Zac. It gave her a delicious sense of being as worldly and provocative as he was. She was his equal. She could meet him advance for advance.
Until he slipped his hand between her thighs.
She lost every bit of her desire to be bold and seductive. She tensed in expectation of the pain.
"This won't hurt," Zac said.
She wanted to believe him, but she was frightened. She couldn't help but tense when he entered her. She was almost painfully sensitive.
She held her breath, but she felt no pain, only the exciting sensation of something moving within her. Then he touched a nub, and she nearly rose off the bed. With pleasure.
Instinctively she had clamped her knees together. Gradually she relaxed. Once more Zac found the ultra sensitive spot, and a wave of pleasure washed over her body. Not just one. Zac continued to move inside her until the waves began to come closer and closer together. They were almost like a pulse now, each one stronger than the last, each one forcing a moan of pleasure from her lips.
Suddenly they started coming like an avalanche, one after the other, each bigger and more fierce than the last until she thought she couldn't stand it anymore. She heard herself moaning Zac's name as she bucked against his hand. When she thought she could stand no more, the waves washed over her, and she felt her entire body shudder with release.
Even as she felt her body floating down from the heights, Zac moved above her. She felt him withdraw his finger and replace it almost immediately by a larger pressure. Despite herself, she felt her body tense.
"This will hurt," Zac warned. "But only a little. Then I will never hurt you again."
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