Learning what Lily went through to get me out and protect me from Aneira helped me understand her choices. I also couldn’t be upset with her belief that Eli had helped kill Aisling. If I had seen a Dark Dweller blocking the hallway and attacking the Dae named Brycin, I would have come to the same conclusion. And Eli let her continue to believe it.
All the new information felt as if my thoughts were wandering through paste. Space. I needed space.
Being close to Eli didn’t help me think clearly. I had missed him. Too much. Rubbing my head, I went around him, the door within my grasp.
“Don’t walk away from me,” Eli boomed, his Alpha authority stopping me in my tracks.
“Don’t do that! Don’t you dare command me!” I whirled on him, glaring. “Because you suddenly aren’t Aisling’s murderer doesn’t mean my feelings have abruptly changed. I need time.”
“No.”
“What?”
“I said no,” he growled.
“You don’t tell me no!”
“Yes, I will.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“The best you can do is because?” My feet moved toward the door again. “Because is not good enough.”
“Because ... you are mine, Brycin.”
“I am no one’s property,” I hissed, keeping my gaze on the door.
There was a slight growl in his throat. “You. Are. Mine.”
Pain burst to my chest, my head slightly shaking. I reached for the doorknob.
A frustrated cry came from him. “Ta gra agam ort.” His words stormed out. The Gaelic phrase suspended my hand on the knob. I understood what he had said.
I love you.
My eyes grew wide, rounding back to face him. “What?”
“You heard me.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve never said those words to anyone ... and certainly never thought myself capable of it.”
There was a strained pause before I spoke softly, “How do I know it’s not because I have your blood?”
Eli frowned. “My blood creates a bond, but it does not create feelings. Let’s say, hypothetically, I gave my blood to Thara, I would know where she was, but it would not cause me to like her anymore. Believe me. That’s not how it works.”
His words were a mixture of fire and ice. Happiness and agony. I had waited so long to hear him say something even close to this. I understood a bit more why he reacted so harshly to me when I first told him I loved him: he didn’t think I would feel the same after I found out the truth. My heart didn’t work in such a way. If we stayed together or not, I would never stop loving him. I punched the wall as frustration suffocated me like a corset. “Dammit!”
Everything seemed so twisted and turned upside down. The man I loved finally told me he loved me back, and I was going to get him killed. Fucked up didn’t even begin to cover it.
I kicked and hit whatever stood in my way. “FUCK!” I screamed again. The release felt like a drug, and I needed more of it. Something in me snapped. My hands went for anything not nailed down, throwing, hitting, and kicking everything in Lars’ office. Books were torn from the shelves, chairs thrown across the room. My hands ripped the printer cords from the wall. The printer sailed into the air, hitting the door. Chips of paint and bits of plaster crumbled out of the dent it caused. Anger. Rage. The darkness, which still resided in me, was finding its way to the surface.
“Stop!” Eli grappled for my hands, trying to block me. Blood covered his palms. It took me a moment to realize the blood was mine, from cuts on my knuckles and palms.
“No, let go!” I tried breaking from his hold. He had no idea the sick twisted truth. Would I even be able to do it in the end? Choose between Eli and the world? Without my powers, it was like punching a cement wall. I didn’t like it. I let my beast rush to the surface. I shoved at Eli. Not expecting my Dweller strength, he stumbled back and crashed into the door He barely hit before he popped forward, coming for me again. His eyes glowed bright.
“Damnú ort!” He barreled into me, slamming me into the opposite surface. Air was crushed out of my lungs. My Dark Dweller flared further to life.
I didn’t want to be stopped. My fury sought to break, destroy, and tear apart everything in my sight. So much I needed to let out. So many emotions I could not handle. He stood in my way. Literally. My knee came up, and he twisted to the side.
“I won’t fall for that one again,” he rumbled, forcing me harder against the wall. It only riled me more and ... turned me on. His green eyes flashed red as he took in a whiff of my hormones filling the room. My want for him only flamed the fire of my anger.
I kicked at him again, clawing against his hold. “Get off me!”
“Stop,” he roared. I could feel the authority in his words weighing heavily on my impulse to bite and hit him. Anger ballooned in my chest.
“Stop trying to control me.” I stomped my foot on his. His grip loosened, and I took advantage, kicking at the joint in his knee. His leg buckled, causing him to fall. I stepped hard on his calf and leaped over him. He grabbed my ankle in mid-air and tugged down. I dropped hard, and my shoulder slammed into the wooden floor as I spun.
The beast in both of us was becoming more apparent, though only one of us could fully change. Breathing heavy and growling, I kicked off his hold and jumped back up. He moved faster. He wrapped an arm around my waist and jerked me back, throwing me onto Lars’ desk. Papers scattered like butterflies off the desk.
“Stop,” he ordered.
I stilled as Eli’s hand went behind my head, sharply yanking me back. His eyes were now completely red and full of feral need. A sound came from his chest, as his knee pried my legs apart. His grip on my hair tightened, almost to a painful, thrilling level. My lungs pumped air quickly in and out. He brought my bloody knuckles to his mouth, licking them. Even the slightest graze of his skin on mine was hitting painful levels. He tilted my head, turning my face to his. His lips moved down, only a breath from mine.
My hands smashed into his chest, and he stumbled back. Before he could respond, I pushed him again. This time he hit the glass and splintered the French doors. His eyes glinted as I stepped up to him. He licked his lips. A smear of my blood still clung to his bottom lip. My fingers hooked around the collar of his t-shirt and tore at it. The fabric ripped in half, falling from his body and showing his chiseled torso. His chest moved in and out rapidly.
His gaze linked on mine, steady and piercing. We both held our breath for a moment before we crashed into each other. His lips moved over mine ferociously. Heat zoomed below my stomach. The need to feel him deep inside me was unbearable. He ripped the shirt over my head, giving us only a little break before our mouths found their way back. My bra hit the floor as he backed me to the table. The noise of his button fly jeans being torn open sounded like a machine gun. He scooped me up and dropped me on the desk. Everything crashed to the floor as he forced me back. With one tug, he pulled my jeans off. Our desire for each other was not soft or delicate. There was no “let’s take our time” here. It was now and desperate. Violent. I clawed at his shoulders, drawing blood, bringing him down on top of me. He slipped off my underwear, which joined his jeans on the floor. I wanted him so badly it felt painful. My body shook.
“Brycin. Look at me,” he rasped.
My gaze turned to his. I could feel him hard against my leg. Then he slid into me. I gasped, my eyes shutting.
“No. Open your eyes and keep them open. I want you to watch me fuck you.”
I did.
He picked me up, and my legs wrapped tightly around him. He stayed inside me as he stood, pressed me against the office door. He went deep and rough, making me moan.
We never took our eyes off each other as the whole world vanished around us.
FOURTEEN
I curled into Eli’s side; our legs and arms intertwined. The dark bedroom was illuminated only by the hazy glow of the moon filtering through the thin curtain and softly crossing the floor up
onto my enormous bed.
I sighed contentedly. The first time might have been intense and aggressive; the last time had been as passionate but gentler. We took our time rediscovering each other. Both ways had been amazing. I could never imagine getting enough of him.
His lips touched the space between my eyebrows. He made a sound like he was going to speak, but nothing came out.
“What?” I placed my chin on his chest and gazed up at him.
“What, what?”
“You were going to say something.”
“Was I?”
“Yes. So talk.”
“The bed is amazing. And sturdy.”
I frowned, my eyebrow going up.
His tightened his mouth and then sighed. “I am done ...”
“What?” My head shot up.
“Brycin.”
“Sorry, continue.”
He took another breath. “I was gonna say I am done with ever being without you again.”
“But if I am done with you?” I placed my hand under my chin.
“You won’t be.”
My eyes slightly widened, and my head tilted to the side. “Oh, really?”
He cupped the back of my head, rolling me underneath him. “If you do, you will find yourself with one unrelenting stalker. A shadow on your ass.”
“Oh, goodie. My own personal butt brigade.”
He smirked as he leaned in and kissed me. “I am serious. Never again.”
“You think you can handle me full time?”
“I hear there’s a great benefits package in it for you.” His lips slid across the skin between my breasts, while something else brushed my leg. The torture of knowing what lay ahead of us twisted my gut. I couldn’t think about it, not tonight. Most likely neither of us would live through the battle. I had to enjoy the time I did have with him.
I touched his face, turning it to mine. “Don’t say it unless you actually mean it. Will you feel this way when you get sick of sleeping with me or I annoy you one too many times?”
“You might tire of having sex with me first.” He kissed my neck softly, moving up slowly. Doubtful, I thought. “Let’s enjoy right now.” He nipped at my top lip. I could feel his smile tickling my mouth.
I forced my smile to match his. “All right, but if you ever even think about cheating on me, especially with Ms. Tits and Ass,” I paused dramatically, “fried bacon bits, deep-fried.”
“Shhhh.” He peered under the blanket. “I told you they can hear you.”
I grabbed the blanket, yelling down there. “Then hear me ... you wander elsewhere and you will become a charred beef kebab with a side of meatballs.”
Eli cringed, making me snicker. He then turned back to me, his hands touched my face, and his expression grew intense. “Believe me. It is not going anywhere else. It’s got squatters’ rights now.” His lips met mine fervently. He found his way back inside of me, showing me exactly what he meant.
“Dammit, Ember!” Lars thundered, banging on the bedroom door the next morning.
My lids cracked open; blurrily, I looked around in confusion. People pounding on the door cursing us should be normal to me by now. “What the hell did you two do to my office?”
Crap.
Eli rolled over grumbling.
“I will not subject Marguerite to cleaning your mess, especially when your underwear is on the floor. I want you both up now. I won’t use my desk until I know it has been sanitized thoroughly.”
Marguerite picked up my underwear all the time, but I got his meaning. This was slightly different.
“Did you touch the door handle?” Eli yelled back at him.
“Yes ... why?” Lars asked skeptically.
“Uh, no reason.”
Lars groaned and muttered something incomprehensible and stomped off.
I looked over my shoulder at Eli. “Think we’re in trouble.”
Eli’s eyes were closed; his head snuggled back into the pillow. He didn’t look like he would move anytime soon. Only his hands reached out, pulling me back into him.
“I smashed his printer, didn’t I?” I laced my fingers through his, which were wrapped around my middle.
Eli snorted. “Yeah, you sure did. We kind of pulverized his office.”
“Damn. We are starting to be quite expensive.”
“You are.” He winked when I turned over to look at him. “Because of you I had to buy Cooper a new bike.”
“What did it have to do with me? I wasn’t even here when he lost it.”
“Exactly.”
I frowned.
“You don’t want to know.” He stuffed his arm beneath his pillow, rolling to his stomach.
“I’ll take your word for it.” I sat up, pushing the covers off.
“Uh-oh.” The sheets had fallen off him as I rose, showing off his entire sculpted body. Normally, I would have found the sight enormously pleasing to the eye, except for what I saw now—all over Eli’s backside.
Pixies held grudges and did not forgive so easily. The juniper juice lover had certainly not forgiven the Dark Dweller yet. I did not want to think about when he snuck in here to retaliate. Hopefully, it was well after Eli and I passed out from exhaustion.
“Oh, crap.” My hand went to my mouth, blocking the half groan, half laugh.
“What?” Eli’s lids splintered open.
Ink and glittery Tinker Bell stickers were stuck all across Eli’s ass and back. “Sprinkle Pixie dust” and “I believe in Pixie power.” were written across Eli’s back in glitter.
“What?” Eli followed my gaze and looked over his shoulder. “What the hell?”
I couldn’t stop myself. I curled forward with hysterical laughter. Eli scrambled out of bed, chasing his own tail as he tried to get a better view of his backside. His hand went to one of the stickers and tried to tug it off.
“Ow.” He flinched. “Damn, the li’l fucker super-glued them on!”
Tears spilled down my cheeks. “Oh, Cal, you are my hero.”
Eli shook his head and yelled into my room. “This is war, you winged girlie toy!”
“How did you sleep through that?” I wiped at my eyes. How did we both?
“Guess someone really wore me out.” Eli winked at me then returned to glued objects on his back.
As I watched him wincing while he struggled to tug off a sticker, a grip of sadness and guilt washed over me. This moment of happiness would end, and I would never have it back again. He would die, and if I decided I couldn’t do it, then the world would collapse. Millions would die. My shoulders curled in. I felt like I would crack under the pressure of the responsibility. Even against my will, I was keeping secrets from him. In a way I was thankful Lars had taken the choice from me. My tongue had been bound by him before. I couldn’t even tell Eli through our eye communication. Even if I could have told him, what would I say? How did one go about telling someone the only way to vanquish the Queen would kill him? There had to be a way around it. Could Kennedy be able to break it? Could a Druid end the Queen’s spell? I was desperate. I would try anything.
The thought of Kennedy brought more shame. I needed to find her. A shiver tiptoed across my heart at the thought of Lorcan having Kennedy. I hoped he hadn’t hurt her, though I wouldn’t put anything past him.
“I need to jump in the shower. Only way to get these things off.” He grinned, clearly a little impressed with Cal’s creativity.
My laughter dried up as my thoughts drifted to the dark realities ahead of me. I got out of bed and headed to my walk-in closet. Here I was enjoying the best sex of my life with the love of my life who would soon be dead, and Kennedy was possibly being tortured. I yanked open a drawer and grabbed one of my t-shirts. Eli sensed my change in mood and followed me. “We’ll find her.” He wrapped himself around me.
My eyes darted over my shoulder.
He smiled. “You are not hard to read, and I can still feel your emotions.” His arm looped my waist, twirling me to face him. His hands ra
n down my bare skin. “We’ll track Lorcan. We’ll get her back.”
I nodded.
He pulled me closer. I threw my arms around his neck and fell into his engulfing hug. I hoped he could only sense my anxiety for Kennedy and didn’t think he had something to do with the decline of my mood.
He squeezed tighter. These moments were rare with him. I had to enjoy them while I could. Our naked bodies melded together as we embraced.
He sighed deeply and gave my shoulder a kiss, then smacked my bare ass. “Now get dressed and go clean your mess, woman.”
“And we’re back,” I said dryly, shaking my head.
FIFTEEN
Later in the day I was startled by the movement at the top of the hill. The inundation of Dark Fae on the Unseelie King’s land was beginning. I seemed to be the only one in awe of all the strange looking Dark Fae flooding in. They came in all shapes and sizes, from tiny forest gnomes to large mountain trolls. I had no clue what many of them were, but most Dark Fae were human in appearance. No surprise since the Dark needed to blend in with humans more since the Dark needed them to live off of.
Lars had set up a field of tent-cabins, but many brought their own version of portable homes, and some even dug holes in the ground.
“Oh, no. Anyone want to poke my eyes out?” I was on my knees, peering through the curtains of the window behind the breakfast nook.
“Why?” Eli chomped on a huge bite of the sandwich Marguerite made for lunch.
“There is a goblin peeing on the lawn,” I said. “Guess six inches of man applies to all Fae creatures.”
Eli smacked my ass.
“Eating here, darlin'.” West slapped the other side of my rear.
I flipped around and slipped down the curved booth, plopping into a sitting position. Eli, Cooper, West, and I all sat together.
Marguerite was making more sandwiches at the counter. Rez grabbed one and walked to the table, sliding the plate to me. “You are probably going to see worse than Fae peeing.” She pulled out a chair and sat across from me. “And a lot of it. There are going to be thousands of Fae heading here in the next couple of weeks.”
Blood Beyond Darkness Page 14