“Great, yes, as long as there aren’t any storms.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said with a dismissive wave. “If there’s a storm, he won’t venture away from the island. We’ll jump in when the weather gets better, too.”
***
Our friends were relaxing body and mind. Flosy was still asleep, while von Richter was peacefully weaving a garland using some flowers that looked like daisies. The scene, in a word, was idyllic. As soon as von Richter saw us coming over, he hid the garland behind his back and assumed a serious expression.
“So, what did you find out?” He was all business.
“It’s bad, my friend,” I replied, shaking my head. “She wants the impossible in exchange for what she knows!”
“What exactly does she want?” The knight’s whole body tensed up.
Sven realized that I was trying to pull one over on the knight, and he joined me with a gloomy look on his face.
“Well, my friend,” I said, taking the knight by the shoulders, “she asked for just one small favor from a Knight Templar.”
“What favor?” he stuttered.
“You know,” explained Sven smoothly. “She’s a woman! A bit long in the tooth, but still…”
“That’s impossible!” Gunther threw his hands in the air. “I have a vow! I already have a woman of my heart!”
“And so the girl the pirates have—” I saw Sven frown out of the corner of my eye. “The ones disguising themselves as good pirates—we can leave her with them?”
The good and honorable von Richter’s face expressed a slew of varying emotions, one after another.
“Oh, come on, Knight,” Flosy chimed in. “Are you going to believe your friend, who obviously has a bit of experience playing tricks like that, or Sven, who the entire North calls the chatterbox, and not just the Herring?”
Sven and I finally gave in to the laughter we’d been hiding. Three colors chased each other across von Richter’s face: first the usual; then a pale, surprised color; and finally an angry red.
“Oh, you think that’s funny?” The knight spat in our direction and sat down in the grass, his back to us.
“Come on, don’t be like that.” I playfully shoved him. “Okay, so let’s go back. What do we have so far?”
Gunther’s ears pricked up, Sven looked at me attentively, and even Flosy got up on his elbows.
“Ulfrida was kidnapped by one Torsfel the Crooked, a pirate even among pirates. She’s currently being held on an island in the sea, though the island is impervious to assault. In two days, however, Torsfel ships will set sail in the morning and leave for the Ice Wall.”
Gunther turned around.
I continued. “So, we can overtake him at sea and free the girl. We have ships and people, though the issue is that it’s going to cost 20,000 gold. Here’s our plan: Sven is leaving for the coast to hire the ships and men, and I’m heading back to the könig to ask for the money.”
“You’ll just waste your time,” said Flosy, who was completely sober. “He won’t give you a single copper coin.”
“Why not?” I asked in surprise. “He’s her father, isn’t he?”
“So what? It would be one thing if she were his son, but his daughter… He may give you 1,000, but no more,” replied Flosy confidently. Sven winked as if to say, Told you so.
“We have to save the girl,” Gunther said. “If worse comes to worst, I can get the money from the order mission.”
“I’m off then,” nodded Sven. “Give me a scroll. Let’s meet at 7 a.m. two days from now on the Falderhall pier.”
I handed him a scroll and looked around at the other two to see if they knew where that was. Flosy understood and nodded.
“Yep, I’ve been there. My brother lives nearby.”
“See you soon,” Sven said with a wave before stepping into the portal.
“And where are we going?” Flosy asked. “I could use some hair of the dog.”
“Us?” I looked around. “Probably that way.”
I pointed toward a blob on the horizon that was likely the walls of Holfstrig.
“That’s a ways off,” Flosy replied, scratching under his beard. “Too far for me.”
“What choice do you have?” I grunted. “Although… Well, you could stay here. The old lady will come out for vegetables and water at some point, and you can talk to her then.”
Flosy jumped up and started walking quickly in the direction of the burg. We started along behind him, with von Richter leading his horse.
“Laird, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t joke around like that anymore,” he muttered, obviously having taken offense.
“Okay, Gunther,” I replied, very well aware that I’d be doing the exact same thing the next time I was given the opportunity. I might have tried again right then if I hadn’t been busy brewing a plan.
The walls of the burg were just a stone’s throw away when an arrow shot from some small bushes thudded into me.
The arrowhead was treated with a fast-acting poison! You will take 0.8 damage per second for the next minute and a half.
“Damn it!” I bellowed, pulling out my sword and taking another arrow in the leg.
The arrowhead was treated with a fast-acting poison! You will take 0.8 damage per second for the next minute and a half.
Because you have already been poisoned, the two poisons will both be active. You will take 1.5 damage per second for the next minute and a half.
Five bandits tore out of the bushes. Why bandits? Because that’s what it said over their heads. They were all at Level 56.
Another sat back in the bushes and pulled back on his bow, aiming at Gunther.
“Flosy, take the one in the bushes. Don’t let him shoot! Here!” I shouted, throwing him the ax that once belonged to König Harald’s ancestor. It’ll work for an NPC.
“I haven’t fought in ages!” Flosy yelled back. “I’m a toilet worker!”
Still, he dashed over to the bushes, crouching as he went and keeping a close eye on the archer. The guy obviously had some experience under his belt.
The bandits got to us, and I parried a blow from one of them, though a different blade scraped along my armor and clipped my side. My health dropped.
“Wolf Soul!” I roared, starting to worry that I might die there in the bushes. My gray friend appeared for me to send after one of the three bandits attacking Gunther. He was doing an excellent job fighting them off with his longsword, but I noticed he hadn’t had time to pull his shield off his horse.
I was more or less successful handling the two bandits in front of me, and I was even able to slice into the arm of one of them. Sadly, that was all I could do. A few seconds later, I missed a strike that took off a huge chunk of health, leaving me balancing right on the edge of the red zone.
“Ah!” Flosy shouted, and I saw the health of one of my opponents drop precipitously. The toilet worker seemed to be an expert at stabbing people in the back, though, to be fair, he must have been pretty good at stabbing them in the front, too—he’d apparently taken out the archer in single combat.
That got me going, and I went to work on the other bandit. I was even able to land a few shots that had him at death’s door.
“A-ha!” I heard Gunther shout triumphantly, and I glanced over to see what had happened.
It turned out that my brave tin soldier friend had polished off the last of his bandits and was bending over him. I noticed that he had bite marks from my wolf all over him.
But the distraction caught me, and my opponent quickly jumped in to swing his sword one more time. While I was able to block it, the thin blade of the dagger he held in his other hand slid softly into my throat. I didn’t wear a hauberk, and on that occasion it cost me.
Gunther took out the dexterous bandit and jumped toward me. If it weren’t for those damn arrows… I would have been able to heal myself with the ability I’d learned a while back, but with the poison, it was too late.
All I could ge
t out were four words. “I’ll be back soon.”
***
Suddenly, I was standing in my underwear, and not even in the city; I’d stupidly forgotten to save there and flew all the way back to Hexburg. Maybe that’s better. I won’t scare the locals by running around naked asking them where the hotel is.
Because you died, you lost some of the experience you’d gained.
That didn’t surprise me, but it was still a shame. Most important, however, was to make sure I didn’t lose any of my items. I knew that they’d be picked up in no time if my knight friend left, given how close the city was.
I dug into my bag to find that everything I couldn’t lose, the Gray Witch’s ring and all the rest, was still there.
The concierge shark looked away when my snow-white rear end and I bounced by and grabbed the key, before dashing by in the other direction a minute later holding a scroll.
“You broke the peace!” I heard, at the same time feeling a heavy hand come down on my shoulder.
I turned to find a guard looking at me reproachfully. He had seen me run into the hotel undressed.
“I’m sorry, it’s not on purpose—I was just leaving,” I assured him, though I still had to spend five precious minutes listening to him pontificate on about how worthy warriors don’t run around cities in their underwear. As soon as the pesky guard let me go, I activated my portal.
***
“These are not your things. They belong to my fallen friend.” Gunther’s words were the first thing I heard when I jumped out onto the scene of my idiotic demise. I even ported right to the bushes where the archer had been hiding.
“NPC, are you crazy? Get out of here,” I heard a vaguely familiar voice say. I looked over and saw Mirro for the second time in just a few days. Damian was even standing right beside him, with von Richter giving them a dressing-down.
“I’m warning you that I will protect these things to my last breath,” von Richter stated proudly as he drew his sword. His shield was already on his other arm—this time he was ready.
I realized that I needed to defuse the conflict, especially given how close it was to the burg walls.
“Gentlemen, I see we still haven’t learned not to touch what belongs to other people,” I noted sarcastically, climbing out of the bushes.
The marauders’ faces blanched as if someone had just given them something bitter.
“You again?” Mirro’s face twisted into an awkward smile.
“Can you imagine? What a small world up here in the North. You can’t spit without hitting someone you know.” My smile, unlike his, spread from ear to ear. I stepped over and picked up my things. “So are we going to continue this little tiff or go our separate ways?”
“What tiff? Everything’s fine!” Damian assured me quickly. The grilling they must have received back in their clan fortress was obviously on his mind, and it didn’t look like it was a very fond memory. “We were just walking along when we saw some things, but we obviously didn’t know they were yours—your name isn’t on them, after all. There was an NPC hanging around, but what were we supposed to do? Just forget it?”
I could have explained to them what it meant to be a rat, but there wasn’t much sense in that. They were already too far gone. “Okay, fine,” I said once I was dressed and feeling much better. “We’ll say our disagreement has been resolved.”
“I can’t agree with you there,” said von Richter from behind me. “And what’s an ‘NPC’?”
“Gunther, everyone makes mistakes,” I replied gently. “These young people understand the mistake they made, and I think we can finish the conversation there. A bad peace is better than a good war. Oh, and ‘NPC’ means ‘knight.’ It’s a different language: Albanian.”
Gunther relaxed his grip on his sword, though it was obvious that he much preferred a good war to a bad peace.
“If that’s it, then great.” Flosy jumped out of the bushes, the ax on his shoulder. He’d apparently been waiting to see how things turned out, and it occurred to me that the pair of marauders would have had a tricky time of it if they’d tried to take on the pair of NPCs.
“We don’t need to talk to Glen, right?” Mirro asked with a frown.
“Of course not,” I confirmed. We nodded and parted ways.
“Hagen,” broke in Gunther, who was obviously perturbed by something. “Isn’t it witchcraft that you were able to die and then reappear?”
“Not at all,” I assured him. “It’s just that I’m like a cat; I have nine lives.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and was silent for a while before giving his verdict. “That’s good.”
Holfstrig was practically identical to Hexburg. Really, the two burgs could have been twins. Our little group walked in, and all went our separate ways. Gunther headed toward the local mission to see what was up; Flosy asked me for a piece of gold and ran off in the direction of the tavern; and I went over to the mailbox. There was a lot of mail waiting for me.
The first thing I noticed were the three letters I’d received from my clan leader. The tone of the first was friendly, but by the third, she was promising to kill me if I didn’t get back to her immediately. Obviously, I wrote back, especially since I really needed her for the next stage of the plan I’d hatched.
Oddly enough, she replied almost instantaneously and just as concisely. Where are you? That was it. When I told her I was in the lovely city of Holfstrig, she sent me a similarly terse letter.
Wait there. Don’t you dare go anywhere!
I barely had time to think about what might happen if I did go somewhere, before the author of the letter stepped out of a portal that flashed right next to me.
“You know, Hagen,” she started off—at the end of her rope, from the looks of it. “I’ve had all kinds of different people in the clan. I’ve had reckless people; an absolute idiot somehow made it in once; and we even had a few schoolchildren for a little while. But there’s never been anyone like you.”
What was I supposed to answer?
“You’ve never had anyone as wonderful as me?”
She blew up right in front of me. “No! We’ve never had anyone so dirty, so unpredictable, and so disorganized! Why did we ever take you into the clan in the first place?”
“You’re asking me?” I responded. “You were the ones who found me under the bench, and you made the offer. I didn’t even ask for it!”
“You could respect the clan just a little. Try participating in clan life! And don’t you think you have a few too many secrets the clan should know about?”
“Me?” I jabbed a finger at myself. “What are you talking about? Look at my level!”
Our bickering was beginning to attract attention, with a pair of players and some local gossips gathering. They immediately started trying to figure out if Elina was my wife and had just caught me with a lover or if it was the other way around, and she was a lover I didn’t want to leave my wife for.
That infuriated Elina to the point where I saw the tip of her nose turn white.
“Can I offer you a glass of wine?” I asked calmly.
“What wine? This is the North!” Elina took a breath to settle herself. “The only way you can find wine is to buy some from the Sea Kings. Let’s go to the tavern—they sell ale there.”
“It’s really sour,” I replied with a grimace.
“Whatever, nobody’s going to be drinking it.”
Elina took me by the hand, and we walked over to the tavern. It was quiet, with a few drunks lying around on the tables.
Flosy had already had time to down three large mugs of ale, the empty proof sitting next to him. Noticing me, he yelled over. “Jarl, nice whore you found yourself. Well done!”
“Who is that?” hissed Elina.
“A friend,” I answered truthfully. “A good guy, though he tends to smell a bit.”
Flosy had run over by the time we finished that exchange. While I’d had a chance to get used to his stench, poor Elina found hers
elf nearly knocked silly…and that was even after he’d lain in the grass and taken the edge off it.
“Hey, cutie, you don’t happen to have a nice friend for a dashing warrior like myself, do you?” he yelled directly into Elina’s face. “The jarl’s feeling generous today, so he’d be happy to buy some loving with a few nice gifts.”
“‘Jarl’?” Elina’s eyebrows shot up, and she looked at me.
“A way of showing respect,” I replied with a shrug. “Like ‘doctor’ or ‘master.’”
“Ah, right,” Elina agreed before answering Flosy. “Of course, handsome. If you want, I can go find Bernie. She lost her nose and has some kind of disease, but if you absolutely need—”
Flosy choked on his ale and interrupted her. “No, no, no, I’ll be fine. I changed my mind. Just not in the mood, and I guess I never was, come to think of it. Jarl, can I have a little more money?”
I gave him another gold coin and watched him run back to his table.
“So you’re already a jarl.” Elina sat down and placed her hands on the table.
“Just a misunderstanding,” I replied with a smile. “He’s a drunk with an exotic job. What do you expect from him?”
“Then why do you take him around with you? Traveling with NPCs is unusual as it is, except when it’s for a quest, but this character? He stinks, too.”
“I got him in a gift pack.” What mattered more to me was getting to work on my plan. “So, about why I called you—”
“I’m not sure exactly why you called me, but I’m quite sure that it’s because you need something from me. Anyway, better answer my questions.”
“Which?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“What I just mentioned. Why all the secrets? What’s going on between you and the Hounds? Why are you wearing Glen’s cloak? And why have you still not told me that you were invited to the Hounds’ party?”
“Is that all?” I asked hesitantly. “Or is there more?”
“That’s enough for now,” Elina responded a bit angrily. “There are plenty more where they came from though.”
“Fine.” I clapped my hands.
That was a mistake, as the clap attracted Flosy’s attention.
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