by Wendy Owens
“I’m not doing this. You’re certifiable,” I replied, dropping my soiled brush into the nearby bucket. Wiping my hands on a rag, I retrieved my iPhone and slid it into my pocket.
“You do! That’s why you’re avoiding the question.” Paige sat up quickly, watching me as I paced around the space like a caged animal.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I insisted.
Paige stood and started to walk away from me toward the lift. “Fine, if you say so. But I think he’s got it just as bad for you.”
“What?” I cried, freezing.
“If you don’t like him, though, I guess that doesn’t matter.” It was too late, Paige had me in her tight little grasp. I followed closely behind, trying to fish out any small detail of what she might be talking about.
“I don’t care, but what would make you say something like that?” I asked, following her all the way out to the street and back to our apartment.
“Yeah, you don’t care, whatever. He asks about you every time I see him,” Paige explained.
I thought about the evidence for a moment, quickly deciding it was flimsy at best. “I’m your roommate, of course he is going to ask about me.”
“Then why has he asked me like ten times if you’re coming tonight? Please, you two are so obvious. Better hurry, we’re leaving in thirty minutes.” Paige laughed, walking into her bedroom and pushing the door closed in my face.
I rushed into my bathroom without another word. Paige’s notions running through my head, I wasn’t sure how I felt about this revelation. Perhaps outraged… I mean he could have been playing me all along. Maybe the sofa and his kind behavior recently was just a ploy to get me to let my guard down. I wondered what his lips felt like. Wait, this was not why I was here; look how things went with Stryker. He was a complete loon, and even worse, I couldn’t get away from Colin—he was my landlord and now an employer. This was very bad idea.
Stepping into the steam-filled shower, my body tingled, the hot water rushing over my nakedness. Before I even realized what was happening, an image of Colin popped into my head. I thought of the day we met and his shirtless body. As the steam danced around me, I remembered the feeling of his breath on my shoulder. Damn it, Em! I scolded myself. Snap out of it!
Stepping from the shower stall, I quickly dried off, then used the towel to wipe away the moisture on the bathroom mirror. I had huge dark circles under my eyes, and my hair had become a kinky, frizzy mess. I didn’t have much of a choice based on how little time I had. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail, allowing a few strategic strands to encircle my face. Once my makeup was applied I actually started to think I looked human again.
There was a knock at my bedroom door. “Five minutes, Emmie,” Paige warned.
Without a word in response, I darted to my closet. There wasn’t time to search through Paige’s wardrobe for the one or two things that might fit me. I would somehow have to find something in my own closet that made me look good. My fingertips grazed over a red summer dress that was covered in a white paisley-like pattern. It would have to do. Slipping it on, I quickly realized the cleavage was a bit on the extreme side so I grabbed my cropped jean jacket and threw it on top.
Searching my closet further, I pulled out my favorite pair of brown cowboy boots, which had a lot of character from years of wear. I placed them on my feet and then stared in the mirror. I could only imagine the taunting that would ensue when Paige saw me, but it was what I had to work with. I turned and took a deep breath, opening the door and walking into the living room, closing my eyes, bracing myself for the snickering.
I waited, hearing nothing. I opened my eyes. Paige stood in front of me, still looking me up and down—examining me. At last she simply noted, “Cute. Let’s go.”
Seriously? Paige always had something horrible to say about everything I wore. Did she actually just say I looked cute? I thought in that moment I might have a heart attack, but that thought quickly faded to relief for the hope that I actually did look cute… and I would look cute when Colin saw me. Not that it mattered.
When we arrived at the bar Paige explained we were only a “fashionably” thirty minutes late so it wouldn’t be a big deal. Personally, I never understood the term. As far as I was concerned, late was late, and it meant you didn’t respect my time. I kept quiet, however, assuming Paige must know of these matters in New York better than I.
I followed closely behind her; I could feel my heart starting to race. I had seen Colin dozens of times before this, and I couldn’t figure out why all of the sudden the prospect of it made my head spin. It didn’t help that Paige was filling it with all of these notions that Colin might actually be interested in me romantically.
“Em, you look great.” I heard Colin’s deep voice behind me. Quickly I spun around, where he was now only inches away from me. Paige wasted no time leaping into Christian’s arm and beginning the make out session. I figured after being apart for hours, for Paige it felt like being deprived of oxygen. They were enough to make a girl want to vomit.
“Thanks,” I replied with a sideways grin. “Jesus, you would think they’d not seen each other for a year,” I commented, nodding toward the lovebirds.
Colin laughed, but didn’t take his eye off me. “I’m really glad you came tonight. I think you’ll really like this band.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, the hair on my arms standing up on end. He’s just some guy, I told myself firmly and silently.
Giving Christian a slap to the back of the head, Colin managed to tear him away from Paige for a moment, allowing the four of us to make our way to a booth near the edge of the stage. We continued to talk to one another for a few moments about my painting, about his renovation work, and I found myself wishing there was no band. I loved music, and I had never wanted to talk to someone more than I wanted to listen to music, but amazingly enough, Colin managed to change that in me. He was genuinely interesting, though he could never know I thought so.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked, standing and looking down at me.
“Sure. Whatever is fine with me,” I answered. Our gazes lingered for a moment, and I could feel an ache between my legs.
“Colin Bennett!” A high-pitched squeal came from across the bar. All of us turned in sync and looked to the source. Running toward our booth was a woman in a miniskirt and blouse tied up in a knot below her ample bosom. Her skin looked as though she might have fallen asleep in a tanning bed on more than one occasion, and her hair was so black it glistened even in the dim light of the bar.
Without hesitation the girl threw her arms around Colin and began passionately kissing him. Based on the amount of tongue she was delivering with the greeting they were no strangers. My stomach turned inside out, and I worried I might actually get sick.
I hopped to my feet and made my way around the outside of the booth. Colin broke away from the grasp of the girl and delivered a horrified stare in my direction. I looked down at Paige who looked equally horrified for me.
“Hey girl,” my voice trembled as I spoke, “I have a lot to get done, so I really should get going.”
I didn’t wait for an answer, and I didn’t turn around as I heard Colin calling out after me. In fact, I didn’t stop until I was all the way back home, in my room, with the door locked behind me.
I don’t know how I could have been so stupid. I knew who Colin was from the moment I met him, yet somehow I let myself be fooled. I didn’t know how I would avoid him moving forward, but I did know I couldn’t see him right now. I would deal with it when I had to, but for now I didn’t want to think about anything that had to do with Colin Bennett.
Slipping my dress off and letting it fall to the floor I pulled on one of Ashton’s oversized shirts. It was sad, but familiar, and I could handle familiar.
“Seriously, Emmie, you’re going to have to talk to him at some point,” Paige argued, walking around the couch and handing me a cup of coffee.
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“No, I don’t. I see absolutely no point in talking to him,” I replied firmly.
“I told you, he and Courtney are long over,” Paige attempted to reassure me.
“It didn’t look long over,” I retorted. “And honestly, I’m not interested in Colin so it doesn’t even matter.”
“Yeah, you’re not into Colin, whatever you say.” Paige delivered a scowl before rolling her eyes. “Courtney used to be a waitress there, and they dated for a very short time. She’s just one of those type of girls, ya know?”
“The fact that you just said she’s one of those type of girls, and I assume you mean slutty, makes it all the more horrifying. There is no way I would ever be interested in a guy who would date a girl like that,” I explained, holding my head high.
“Well then, you better settle on never finding love, because all men are interested in that type of girl at one time or another in their lives.”
“Fine, then I’ll be alone. I don’t really need a guy to be happy. Some girls are content to be alone,” I insisted as my phone buzzed.
“Whatever you say. You just keep telling yourself that.” She scoffed at my statement.
I groaned as I saw Stryker’s number scrolling across my screen. This guy did not give up easily.
“Is it him again?” Paige asked, her face displaying a look of utter shock.
“Yes, he can’t take a hint. I saw him at the school the other day and had to hide out in a classroom for nearly twenty minutes. I wish I had never agreed to go out with him. Dating and me simply do not mix.”
“Oh my God, why don’t you just tell him you’re not interested and that he needs to go get a life?” she suggested. “Better yet, tell him you’re screwing Colin.”
“Okay, first of all, gross,” I said, raising a finger and waving it around to prove my point. “I would never screw Colin. Second—”
We both paused, interrupted by a knock at the door. “Hey babe, let us in.”
“Us?” I whispered, clearly agitated, rising up onto my knees, staring intensely at Paige.
“What? I invited them over for a movie night before I knew you were all hung up on Colin,” she replied casually, walking over to the door.
“Don’t you let him in here, Paige!” I whisper yelled, stressing my discomfort with the situation quite plainly.
“I’ll make sure he leaves you alone, all right?” she said, not waiting for my response. Quickly, I slouched down on the sofa, pulling the throw pillow up to my chest as if it were a shield.
“Hey boys,” Paige said, cracking the door. “Whoa, not so quick. You guys can come in tonight, but we have a few ground rules.”
“Ground rules?” Just the sound of Colin’s voice made my stomach do flips. I kept seeing that Courtney girl sticking her tongue down his throat over and over.
“Yes, ground rules. You got a problem with that?” Paige sternly questioned, not budging.
“Was this Em’s idea?” Colin asked.
“No!” I yelled from the couch. “My idea was to not let you in at all.”
“Can’t we at least talk about it?” Colin yelled from the doorway.
“Nothing to talk about!” I hollered back.
“Look boys, the rules are no talking about anything that happened last night, deal?” Paige offered, holding the door firmly.
“Whatever,” Christian muttered, pushing his way in.
“You can’t be serious,” Colin moaned, clearly not in agreement with the rules.
“As a heart attack, my friend,” Paige replied.
“Fine.” I heard him sigh. A wave of relief washed over me, and I was suddenly very glad I had Paige looking out for me.
“Great, you boys make the popcorn,” she commanded as the door closed. Rushing over, she took the spot next to me on the couch, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly. I knew for the first time in a very long time, I truly had a close friend—a friend I could trust.
A minute later my phone began to buzz again.
“Oh my God, you are kidding me, right? It’s not him, is it?” Paige snarled with disgust.
Looking down at the phone, I saw it was, in fact, another attempt from William Stryker. Begrudgingly, I nodded. “At least this time he only sent a text.”
“What did he say?” she asked, swiping at my phone.
“Nothing.”
“Oh please, I know it’s not nothing. Let me see!” she exclaimed.
I handed her the phone, making sure I didn’t make eye contact with Colin during any part of the conversation. I could feel him hovering over our shoulders, spying on our conversation.
“Oh, no he didn’t,” she remarked before beginning to feverishly run her fingers over the screen of my phone, typing a message that I was sure wouldn’t lead to anything good.
“What are you typing?” I asked, but she didn’t answer, too intensely engaged in her message. “I’m serious, Paige, don’t. Please don’t.”
“Too late,” she replied, tossing me the phone, satisfaction across her face. “He won’t be bothering you again.”
“What did you do?” I asked, panic flooding through me.
“Only what needed to be done. That douchebag sounded like he was threatening you,” Paige defended herself.
“Someone is threatening you?” Colin asked, pushing himself into the conversation.
“No, it’s nothing I can’t handle,” I replied firmly.
“He said you better quit ignoring me… or else,” Paige reported.
“What? Who is saying this stuff to you?” Colin was quickly becoming agitated.
“Nobody,” I insisted, wishing the conversation would drop.
“I told him if he contacted you again, I’d cut his balls off and feed them to him,” Paige proudly announced.
“That’s my classy lady,” Christian said, smiling as he handed Paige a beer, a ginger ale in his other hand for himself.
“Damn straight, and I would do it,” she reaffirmed.
“Who is saying this stuff?” Colin said in a now very demanding tone. His intense stare was starting to make me extremely uncomfortable.
“That dick head she went on that date with,” Paige so graciously enlightened the boys.
“Wait, that guy calling himself Stryker?” Colin attempted to clarify.
“Oh my God, Paige! Shut up! And yes, it’s him, but I’m telling you all, I’ve got this. Just let me handle it. If I ignore him long enough, he’ll go away,” I maintained.
Colin made his way around the couch, kneeling uncomfortably close to me. In a low voice he said, “Em, I’m not kidding, if he bothers you anymore, will you promise to tell me, and I’ll take care of it.”
“Look, I said I’m fine.” I adjusted awkwardly in my seat.
“Promise me!” Colin commanded, staring at me intensely. “I don’t trust that guy. Something didn’t feel right. Will you please promise me?”
“All right, fine,” I relented at last. “I promise.” I didn’t dare tell Colin, but it did provide me with some comfort to know he was looking out for me.
“And about last night…” Colin continued.
“Nope, you heard Paige and the rules.” I laughed, happy to make sure he stuck to his promise, as well.
“Fine, but can we at least agree to put stuff behind us and be friends?” Colin asked, unable to let go of the tension in the room. I stared at him for a second. I couldn’t fathom how he could look so good in sweats; it just didn’t seem humanly possible.
“Sure, we can be friends, but that’s all we are, got it?” I offered in a determined voice.
“Damn bro, she told you!” Christian bellowed, leaning forward and slugging his brother in the arm.
“Shut up, idiot,” Colin barked, shoving his brother backward.
“How about both of you shut up and put the movie in!” Paige shouted.
“What are we watching?” I asked, wide-eyed, eager to ease the tension.
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“Scream marathon!” Paige exclaimed, practically squealing in delight.
“You’re kidding, right?” I moaned.
“Oh hell no, this girl never kids about her horror flicks,” Christian advised me.
The rhythm of the city had seemed to envelope me over the past couple of weeks. It almost felt like I had always been a part of its song. My routine began to bring me an immense comfort. I had managed to convert Paige to using a French press for our morning brew, rather than making a run past the coffee shop every day. I had also pieced together a decent wardrobe, thanks to a few trips with Paige to the thrift shops, Angel Street and Cure.
Where I came from, second hand shops were not somewhere you found what I would consider fashionable clothing. Angel Street and Cure had completely transformed my idea of a thrift store. Designer outfits were in the plenty, but the vintage pieces were the real find. It had become an invigorating challenge for me, or perhaps merely a distraction. Either way, I was hooked.
I had become accustomed over the past couple years to being haunted throughout my days by the memories of Ashton. Now, though, I had managed to drown out most of the painful thoughts, at least until the silent loneliness of the late night crept in. The familiar guilt always managed to find its way back to me just before I would drift off to sleep.
Ever since movie night at our place, Colin and I had found a comfortable place in our relationship. He had even taken to hanging out at the warehouse with me while I painted. I’d admit, at first it made me uncomfortable, but he had a way of making you warm up to him. Maybe it is just how damn sexy he was to look at, I didn’t know. I think I never realized how funny he was until these past couple weeks. I told Paige the other night that I thought the guy would suffer through any amount of humiliation for a laugh.
The highlight for me had to be the night he was rummaging through salvage boxes from one of his renovation projects. It was over flowing with faux furs, pillbox hats, and what could only be described as a collection of your grandmother’s jewelry. Before I knew what was happening, he was adorned from head to toe in the trinkets. If only I’d have had a pair of heels for him, I was certain he would have slipped them on for me. It took very little convincing to get him to agree to model for me, and it might be one of my favorite sketches of him.