Tipping Point
Maisie Johansson
CHAPTER ONE
It wasn't creepy. It was... an investment. They would thank him for it in the long run, when he gave a speech at their wedding and busted out a compilation video of these moments, these perfect moments. He had 18 now, and those were only the ones he was present for. 18 times their eyes met across a crowded airport and they tried not to run into each other's arms. He watched the videos sometimes, when he was feeling bad about his own love life. He watched the evolution of their meetings over the years. Right from that first time, when Rhetta had been home from Germany for Christmas and Caroline had crossed the country to see her. That time hadn't been at an airport. Caroline could no more have afforded the flight than she could have afforded her own Caribbean island. So she had taken a bus. A long, long bus ride. And Rhetta had run across the tarmac to her the moment she had stepped off the bus. They hadn't even told anyone that they had been dating then, but Sam knew. He knew from the moment Rhetta first mentioned her name. He knew she was Rhetta's soul mate, her other half.
This latest reunion was going to be special, he could feel it. Rhetta was practically vibrating with excitement and it had only been a few days since they had parted. Granted, those days had included Rhetta's favourite holiday and she had pouted through the whole thing. Now that being reunited was only moments away, Rhetta's smile had gone from forced to jubilant.
"If you don't calm down, that nice man over there with the dog and the machine gun is going to pull you aside for a little chat," Sam quipped as Rhetta jumped restlessly from foot to foot.
"Oh hush, you," Rhetta said, swatting at his arm. "Her plane landed ages ago. She should be out by now."
"Don't make a joke. Don't make a joke. Don't make a joke." Sam chanted just loud enough for Rhetta to hear.
She shot him a look before turning her attention back towards the archway from baggage. Any moment. Any moment now Caroline would come walking through, her holdall resting casually on her shoulder and - no doubt - a snapback on her head.
"I can't believe you're playing on your phone," Rhetta murmured.
"Oh you know me, an Instagram addict." He had noticed Caroline before Rhetta had and had discretely started recording.
"Oh my God, there she is!" Rhetta squealed, bouncing up and down.
Sam smiled. Yup, this was going to be a good one.
Caroline's eyes lit up as her eyes met Rhetta's and Sam could tell from the sudden tightness in her gait that she was struggling not to run to her.
"Oh fuck it," Rhetta muttered and sprinted towards her.
Caroline only had seconds to drop her bag and get ready to catch the missile that was her girlfriend hurtling across the airport. Sam had to jog after her to make sure that he got a good shot of the moment Rhetta leapt into Caroline's arms, legs wrapping around her waist. Caroline laughed and spun Rhetta around, making her shriek and cling tighter. When she stopped, Rhetta gave her a quick kiss - the first that Sam had ever captured in public - and jumped back down to her feet.
"What was that for?" Caroline asked, her eyes a little wide and a childlike wonder in her voice.
"I've missed you!" Rhetta giggled, as if it was obvious.
But when Caroline leaned in to kiss her again, Rhetta put a hand on her chest to keep her at bay. "Easy there, tiger. One's enough for now."
The disappointment in Caroline's eyes faded so quickly that Sam almost didn't see it. But it had been there and his heart ached for her. Sometimes he wanted to take his sister by the shoulders and shake her until she stopped hiding it.
But she had kissed her. It had been brief, but it had happened. Maybe Caroline was right for being patient. Maybe Rhetta would get there if they just waited.
"Come on bro, can't a guy get a hug?" he broke in, clicking off his camera and stuffing his iPhone back into his pocket.
* * *
Whenever Caroline and Sam were in the same place, they always made an effort to put aside some time for just the two of them. With Caroline and Rhetta set leave for San Diego so soon, all they could manage to fit in was breakfast on the beach.
"Soooooo," Sam drawled, bumping his shoulder with Caroline's just hard enough to make her coffee swish in its to-go cup. "When are you going to grow a pair and propose to my sister?"
He meant it to be light hearted. They teased each other like brother and sister, and their sense of humour was so similar that it drove Rhetta up the wall when the three of them were together. But this time, Caroline didn't smile and shove him over in the sand like he had expected her to, but winced and shrugged her shoulders instead.
When she didn't answer, he asked again. "Come on Caro, everyone knows that's where you two are headed. You've got to be thinking about it with Charlie's wedding coming up."
"Every minute of every day," Caroline admitted, downing the last of her coffee. She put her empty coffee container down beside her and hugged her knees.
"Then what's stopping you?" Sam asked.
Caroline just snorted.
"I thought things were great between you two? I've never seen two people more in love. You're perfect for each other." Sam reasoned.
"For now. Until..." Caroline trailed off. She didn't want to talk about it. Especially not to Sam.
"Until what?" he pressed.
Caroline murmured something that Sam couldn't make out.
"What was that? I thought my sister was the one who murmurs?"
"I said: until she finds someone better," Caroline sighed. "I've always known that it will happen one day. She'll find someone worthy of her. Someone she's not embarrassed to be with."
"What?! Caro, embarassed is the last thing that Rhetta is feels about you! Do you have any idea what percentage of our conversations revolve around you? All she does is talk about you and how proud she is of you. She tells me all about how hard you work, not just to be the best keeper that you can be, but the best person too. She's so proud of everything that you do with the Spirit and in the community. Not to mention how much she gushes about how funny you are and how romantic you can be."
"Then why is she so scared of people knowing?"
Sam didn't have an answer to that. He knew that his sister liked to keep her private life private, but he would never understand why she had such a block when it came to being out. Not when it so obviously hurt the woman that she loved.
"Do you have any idea how much it hurts? How much it stings each and every day to have her pull away from me in public? To have to follow her stupid rules on what and say and show about not just us but about myself? I lie awake and night and wonder if it would be different if she was with someone else. Someone with a childhood like hers and a place in the starting eleven. Someone with more than a handful of pity caps. Someone that the people take seriously. I've tried so hard to be someone that she can be proud of but it never works and it never will! What's wrong with me?"
Caroline was crying now. Full on crying. Her face was red and her cheeks were wet with tears.
"Fuck, Caro, there's nothing wrong with you!" Sam insisted as he crushed her in a hug. "I promise. You're amazing. You're as much of a hero to me as she is. I have no idea why she isn't shouting how much she loves you from the highest hill she can find. But I know one thing, it isn't because of anything to do with you or how she feels about you. It's all on her."
"I wish that I could believe you," Caroline whispers defeatedly and it clear breaks Sam's heart.
CHAPTER TWO
By the time they returned to Sam’s apartment, Caroline’s happy front was back in place. Not that it was a front. At least, Sam didn’t think so. She was happy. Happy to live in the moment. Happy to treasure Rhetta whilst she could. It broke his heart even more.
“Hey,
baby!” Rhetta squealed the moment that Caroline stepped through the front door. She jumped up from the couch, threw her arms around Caroline’s neck and kissed her hello. “I missed you.”
Caroline laughed at Rhetta’s enthusiasm. She wondered how much coffee it had taken to get Rhetta from her grumpy morning self to her current bounciness. “I’ve only been gone for an hour, R.”
Rhetta pouted. “But you were gone when I woke up. You know how much I love waking up with you and it’s been ages since I’ve gotten to.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Caroline cooed, wrapping Rhetta in her arms and kissing the top of her head. “I promise to make up to you.”
When Caroline pulled back, the contented smile on Rhetta’s lips pulled back into another pout.
“Starting with this!” Caroline grinned, holding out the brightly coloured box of the local patisserie from the canvas back on her shoulder. She opened it up to let Rhetta see the cupcake inside. “Lemon and ginger, your favourite.”
With another squeal, Rhetta kissed Caroline’s cheek then looked down at the cupcake, biting her bottom lip in a way that Caroline found heart-stoppingly adorable. “Share it with me?”
“It’s all for you, Princess. I had already had a croissant.”
“But I want to share it with you,” Rhetta whined, playing up the cute factor. “You love lemon cupcakes too. I couldn’t enjoy it if you weren’t enjoying it with me.”
Watching them together, Sam almost couldn’t believe the conversation that he had just had with Caroline. He had walked in just a step behind Caroline and Rhetta hadn’t so much as said hello to him. All of her attention was taken up with the woman she loved. No one else existed to her when Caroline was in the room. Anyone could have seen that. Anyone, it seemed, but Caroline.
“Okay, okay, lets at least move this out of the hallway before I lose my breakfast to this love-fest,” Sam said as he squeezed past them and into the kitchen. He needed more coffee if he was going to have to witness the two of them all day.
“You’re just jealous that I’ve got the best, most beautiful girlfriend in the world,” Rhetta sing-songed.
The last thing that Sam heard before the noise of the coffee machine drowned it out was the sound of Rhetta giggling at whatever tooth-rottingly sweet thing that Caroline had just said. He couldn’t help but smile. Their relationship was the kind that he dreamed about. He wasn’t going to let it fall apart.
* * *
Whilst Caroline fit in a training session that afternoon, Rhetta dragged Sam shopping with her. She wanted to pick up something special for Charlie’s wedding. Something that would drive Caroline wild. Something that only Caroline would get to see. Sam hated these particular shopping trips with a passion.
As they walked from shop to shop, Sam was intent on keeping the conversation light. He knew that he had to talk to Rhetta about Caroline's fears, but he couldn't think of a way that wouldn't break Caroline's confidence. But with Charlie's wedding just days away, it was hard keeping the conversation off of weddings. It didn't help that when they walked past a bridal store, Rhetta stopped to stare at the dresses in the window.
"I wish that I was shopping for my own wedding dress, not something to wear at someone else's big day," Rhetta sighed as she eyed the classic lacy dress in the front of the display.
"Maybe one day soon, sis." If he got his way, anyway.
"Everyone else is so focused on the world cup and the Olympics and whilst, sure, they're right up there with my priorities too, I can't help but dream more and more about getting married and starting a family," Rhetta said as she watched an excited little girl twirling around in a bridesmaid dress inside the store. “I want that Olympic gold and world cup trophy more than anything. Anything except for marrying Caroline and having babies with her. Honestly, those things trump any football ambitions that I have right now.”
"Your body clock ticking?" Sam joked. He had to get her away from this conversation fast.
"Oh hush, you!" she admonished, swatting him on the arm. "No, it's just... I never really cared about it that much back in college. Not even when my friends would fantasise about their perfect wedding. But ever since things have gotten serious with Caroline, I've been dreaming about it more and more. Every time she has to introduce me as her girlfriend, I can't help but cringe at the word. It sounds so trivial for what we are, you know? She's everything to me, Sam. I am so unbelievably happy with her, it's like my soul is singing when we’re together. My life used to revolve around football, but honestly, it's been a long time since I've been able to say that's true. It doesn't revolve around football anymore. It revolves around her."
Rhetta's initial excitement at seeing the dresses in the window had become almost melancholic, so Sam took her arm and steered her across the street to a coffee shop.
"And don't even get me started on what I feel when I see her with kids," Rhetta sighed dramatically, her head tilted back and her eyes turned up to the ceiling as they waited in line to get their coffees. "I swear, every camp it gets worse. When we were in Brazil, there were these four little kids at the hotel from upstate New York, all of them under ten, and all they wanted to do in the pool was play with Caroline. This one little boy pretty much thought she was a god. She's so amazing with them that it takes my breath away. It's like she has this secret key that lets her understand them and make them laugh, but also make them listen to her and be good at the same time. She'd be such an incredible mom, Sam, and I want to share that with her so much."
He couldn't help but agree. "You both will be great moms and I have no doubt that it’ll happen for you two someday."
"You think so?" Rhetta asked almost shyly as they took a seat, coffees in hand.
"I do. So, have you and Caroline ever talked about getting married."
Rhetta sighed. "No, not really. People make a joke about it every now and then, and she laughs, but we've never seriously talked about it."
"Why do you think that is?" Maybe if he could get her to come to the realisation by herself, then he wouldn't need to betray Caroline's confidence.
Rhetta shrugged and sipped her latte. "I don't know. Maybe she's not ready. Maybe I just need to wait."
"Can you honestly say that you think that she’s not ready with how domestic and in love you two are? You've been together forever, R, and she’s followed you wherever you’ve gone. Do you really believe that she's not committed enough to want to marry you?"
It must have sounded a little harsher than he intended, because Rhetta's body language immediately changed. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned back in her chair.
"No, of course not."
"Then what else could it be?" Sam prompted.
"I don't know."
He sighed. "Really, you have no idea?"
"Sam, what do you know?"
"Errrr..."
"Sam!"
"She told me in confidence!" Sam whispered, hoping that Rhetta's voice wouldn't rise high enough to gain the attention of those sitting around them. He wanted Rhetta to come out, but not from someone overhearing them arguing about Caroline’s insecurities.
"She told you that she didn't want to marry me?!" Rhetta hissed, more angry than upset.
"No, she thinks that you don't want to marry her because she thinks that you're embarrassed of her!”
He regretted it the moment that he said it. All the light went out of Rhetta’s eyes and tears immediately started running down her cheeks. When Rhetta cried it was noisy. Everyone knew about it. When she cried silently, it was serious.
“She… she said that? She thinks that I…”
“R, this isn’t the place to talk about this?” Sam said cajolingly. He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. She had deflated and he knew that there would be no distracting her now that he had brought it up.
“Something that I have done or said has made her feel that way,” Rhetta realised. She knew what it was. Had done the moment that Sam had said it. “She thinks that me
not wanting to be out is because I don’t want people to know that she’s my girlfriend.”
“She does,” Sam admitted. “And really, Rhetta, though I see it from your point of view and get why you want your private life to stay private, I get why she thinks that. You don’t know what it was like, R. Having to keep who I am inside because I was scared that Mom and Dad would be embarrassed that their son was gay. By the time that you were at that point, you knew that they would be proud of you, no matter what. You know better than I do that Caroline hasn’t had that from everyone in her life, not like we have.”
“And I let her think that I’m embarrassed to be hers. How could I let her think that?” Rhetta sobbed.
Sam was glad that they were in a corner table and that Rhetta had her back to the room. Otherwise people would definitely have been staring by now.
“You didn’t know, R.”
“I should have. I love her, Sam. I love her more than I could ever have imagined loving someone, and I should have known that I’m hurting her.” She was inconsolable now and Sam found himself unable to make one of his favourite people happy twice in the same day.
“Then make it right. I’m not saying that you have to come out, but you have to make her see that you’re proud of her and that she’s who you want your future to be with.”
“She is!” Rhetta insisted. “I could never be with anyone else!”
“I know that. Now it’s time to make sure that she does too.”
* * *
Caroline had just stepped out of the shower when her phone buzzed with a text from Rhetta.
Hey beautiful, can I take you out on a date tonight? I want you all to myself. Xxx
Caroline snorted and typed out a reply. No one but Rhetta had ever called her beautiful before. Hot? Yes. Gorgeous? Once or twice. But beautiful? Never. Not until that first morning that she had woken up to find Rhetta’s beautiful brown eyes gazing down at her. If someone else had ever called her beautiful, she wouldn’t have believed them. It just didn’t fit. But when Rhetta said it, it made her tingle.
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