"Where's the girls?" Bunsen shouted. "Bring on the girls!" "Oh, they're not here in the daytime," said Mrs. Middy. "They're working girls. Now, what would you like to see?
Where would you like to start?" "What I want to see," said the photographer, "is those bedrooms with canopied beds." The decorator bustled around, plumping cushions and moving ashtrays. Then a haggard woman came from the rear of the house. Her face was colorless, and her hair was done up in rollers, covered by a net cap. She wore a housecoat of a depressing floral pattern, but her manner was hearty.
"Hello, boys," she said. "Make yourselves at home. I've unlocked the sideboard, if you want to pour a drink." "It's too early for hooch," said Bunsen, "even for me." "You want some coffee?" Mrs. Allison turned her face toward the rear of the house, and shouted. "Elsie, bring some coffee!" To her guests she said, "Do you boys like sticky buns?… Elsie, bring some sticky buns!" There was a piping, unintelligible reply from the kitchen.
"Then find something else!" yelled Mrs. Allison.
"It's a nice place you've got here," Qwilleran said.
"It pays to run a decent establishment," said the house mother, "and Mrs. Middy knows how to make a place comfortable. She doesn't come cheap, but she's worth every penny." "Why did you choose Early American for your house?" For an answer Mrs. Allison turned to the decorator. "Why did I choose Early American?" "Because it's homey and inviting," said Mrs. Middy. "And because it is part of our national heritage." "You can quote me," Mrs. Allison said to Qwilleran with a generous gesture. She went to the sideboard. "Sure you don't want a drink? I'm going to have one myself." She poured a straight rye, and as the decorator showed the newsmen about the house, Mrs. Allison trailed after them, carrying her glass in one hand and the bottle in the other. Qwilleran made notes on crewelwork, dry sinks, and Queen Anne candlesticks. The photographer formed an attachment for a ship's figurehead over the living-room mantel — an old wood carving of a full-busted mermaid with chipped nose and peeling paint.
He said, "Reminds me of a girl I used to date." "That's one I caught and had stuffed," said Mrs. Allison. "You should've seen the one that got away." Mrs. Middy said: "Look at the skirts on these little cafe tables, Mr. Qwillum. Aren't they sweet?
They're slightly Victorian, but Mrs. Allison didn't want the interior to be too pure." "It's all pretty elegant," Qwilleran said to the house mother. "I suppose you're fussy about the kind of girls you get in here." "You better believe it. They gotta have references and at least two years of college." She poured another ounce in her glass.
The bedrooms were vividly pink. They had pink walls, pink carpet, and even pinker side curtains on the four- poster beds.
"Love this shade of green!" said Bunsen.
"How do the girls react to all this pink?" Qwilleran asked.
Mrs. Allison turned to the decorator. "How do the girls react to all this pink?" "They find it warm and stimulating," said the decorator. "Notice the hand-painted mirror frames, Mr. Qwillum." Bunsen photographed one bedroom, the living room, a corner of the dining room, and a close-up of the ship's figurehead. He was finished before noon.
"Come around and meet the girls some evening," Mrs. Allison said, as the newsmen made their goodbyes.
"Got any blondes?" asked the photographer.
"You name it. We got it." "Okay, some night when I can get out of washing the dishes and helping the kids with their homework, I'll be around to collect that drink." "Don't wait too long. You're not getting any younger," Mrs. Allison said cheerily.
As the newsmen carried the photographic equipment to the car, Mrs. Middy came hurrying after them. "Oh, dear!
Oh, dear!" she said. "I forgot to tell you: Mrs. Allison doesn't want you to use her name or address." "We always use names," Qwilleran said.
"Oh, dear! I was afraid so. But she thinks the girls will get crank phone calls if you print the name and address.
And she wants to! avoid that." "It's newspaper policy to tell who and where," Qwilleran explained. "A story is incomplete without it." "Oh, dear! Then we'll have to cancel the story. What a pity!" "Cancel it! We can't cancel it! We're right on deadline!" "Oh, dear! Then you'll have to write it up without the name and address," said Mrs. Middy.
She no longer looked like a dumpling to Qwilleran. She looked like a granite boulder in a fussy lace collar.
Bunsen said to his partner in a low voice: "You're trapped. Do what the old gal wants." "You think I should?" "We don't have time to pick up another cover story." Mrs. Middy said: "Just say that it's a residence for professional girls. That sounds nicer than career girls, don't you think? And don't forget to mention the name of the decorator!" She shook a playful finger at the newsmen.
As they drove away from the house on Merchant Street, Bunsen said, "You can't win 'em all." Qwilleran was not cheered by this philosophy, and they drove in silence until Bunsen said, "They buried the Tait woman this morning." "I know." "The chief assigned two photographers. That's pretty good coverage for a funeral. He only sent one to the international boat races last week." Bunsen lit a cigar, and Qwilleran opened his window wide.
The photographer said, "Have you moved into the Villa Verandah with the bigwigs yet?" "I'm moving in this afternoon. And then I've got a dinner date with Mrs. Middy's assistant." "I hope she's got references and two years of college." "She's quite a dish. Clever, too!" "Look out for the clever ones," the photographer warned him. "The dumb ones are safer." Late that afternoon Qwilleran went home, packed his two suitcases, and called a taxi. Then he proceeded to stuff the cat into a canned tuna fish carton with airholes punched in the sides. Suddenly Koko had seventeen legs, all grabbing and struggling at once, and his verbal protests added to the confusion.
"I know! I know!" shouted Qwilleran above the din. "But it's the best I can do." When the seventeen paws, nine ears, and three tails were tucked in, and the cover clapped shut and roped, Koko found himself in a snug, dark, sheltered place, and he settled down. The only sign of life was a glistening eye, seen through one of the airholes.
Once, during the brief ride to the Villa Verandah, the taxi swerved to avoid hitting a bus, and from the back seat came an outraged scream.
"My God!" yelled the driver, slamming on the brakes. "What'd I do?" "It's only my cat," said Qwilleran. "I've got a cat in one of these boxes." "I thought I hit a pedestrian. What is it? A bobcat?" "He's a Siamese. They're inclined to be outspoken." "Oh, yeah. I've seen 'em on television. Ugly buggers." Qwilleran's moustache curled. He was never overly generous with gratuities, but he remembered to give the driver a tip lighter than usual.
At the Villa Verandah, Koko produced earsplitting howls in the elevator, but as soon as he was released from his box in the Noyton apartment, he was speechless. For a moment he stood poised with one forepaw lifted, and the place was filled with breathless, listening cat-silence. Then his head swung from side to side as he observed the general features of the room. He walked cautiously across the sleek wood floor. He sniffed the edge of the thick-piled rug and extended one paw experimentally, but withdrew it at once. He nosed the corner of one sofa, examined the hem of the draperies, looked in the wastebasket near the desk.
Qwilleran showed Koko the new location of his sandbox and gave him his old toy mouse. "Your cushion's on the refrigerator," he told the cat. "Make yourself at home." An unfamiliar bell rang, and Koko jumped in alarm.
"It's only the phone," Qwilleran said, picking up the receiver and seating himself importantly behind the fine leather-topped desk.
From the instrument came a voice speaking in careful English. "I have a transatlantic call for Mr. James Qwilleran." "Speaking." "Copenhagen calling." Then came the excited voice of Harry Noyton. "Would you believe it? I'm in Copenhagen al- ready! How's everything? Did you move in? Did you get settled?" "Just got here. How was the flight?" "Some turbulence east of Gander, but it was a good trip on the whole. Don't forward any mail till I give the signal.
I'll keep in touch. And one of these days I'll have a scoop for
the Daily Fluxion." "A news story?" "Something fantastic! Can't talk about it yet… But here's why I called: Do you like baseball? There's a pair of tickets for the charity game, stuck in my desk calendar. It's a shame to let them go to waste — especially at thirty bucks a throw." "I'll probably have to work Saturday." "Then give them to your pals at the paper." "How do you like Copenhagen?" "It looks very clean, very tidy. Lots of bicycles." "How soon will your news break?" "Hopefully, within a week," said Noyton.
"And when it does, the Fluxion gets the first crack at it!" After hanging up, Qwilleran looked for Noyton's calendar. He found it in the desk drawer — a large leather-bound book with a diary on one side and an index for telephone numbers on the other. The baseball tickets were clipped to September 26 — box seats behind the dugout — and Qwilleran wondered whether he should use them or give them away.
He could invite Alacoque Wright, break away from the office at noon on Saturday…
"Koko!" he snapped. "Get away from that book!" The cat had risen noiselessly to the top of the desk and was sinking his claws in the edge of the telephone index.
He was trying to play the game. Qwilleran's moustache twitched. He could not resist opening the book to the page Koko had selected.
On it he found the telephone numbers of a Dr. Thomas and the well-known law firm of TeahandIe, Burris, Hansblow, Maus, and Castle.
"Congratulations!" Qwilleran said to the cat. You've cornered a Maus." There was also Tappington, the stockbroker, and the phone number of Toledo, the most expensive restaurant in town. And at the bottom of the list there was the name Tait. Not George Tait or Verning Tait, but Signe Tait.
Qwilleran stared at the hastily scrawled name as if it were the ghost of the dead woman. Why had Noyton listed Signe and not her husband? What business did a big-time promoter have with the invalid wife of a rich, idle collector of jades?
Qwilleran recalled his conversation with Noyton at David's party. The jade theft had been discussed, but the promoter had not mentioned his acquaintance with the late Mrs. Tait. And yet he was an unabashed name-dropper, and the Tait name would have been an impressive one to drop.
Qwilleran closed the book slowly and opened it again quickly. He went through the diary, checking Noyton's appointments day by day. He started with September 20 and worked backward to January 1. There was no entry concerning Signe Tait or Muggy Swamp. But the color of ink changed around the first of September. For most of the year it had been blue. Then Noyton switched to black. Signe Tait's phone number was written in black; it had been added within the last three weeks.
9
Before leaving the apartment for his date with Alacoque Wright, Qwilleran telephoned David Lyke to inquire about Mrs. Tait's funeral.
"You should have been there," said the decorator. "There was enough blue blood to float a ship. All the Old Guard who knew Tait's pappy and grandpappy. You never saw so many pince-nez and Queen Mary hats." "How was Tait taking it?" "I wish I could say he looked pale and haggard, but with that healthy flush of his he always looks as if he'd just won at tennis. Why weren't you there?" "I was working on a cover story. And this afternoon I moved into Harry Noyton's apartment." "Good! We're neighbors," David said. "Why don't you come over Saturday night and meet Natalie Noyton? She just got back from Reno, and I'm having a few people in for drinks." Qwilleran recalled the excellence of the buffet at the decorator's last party and accepted the invitation with alacrity. After that, he prepared a hasty dinner for Koko — half a can of red salmon garnished with a raw egg yolk — and said: "Be a good cat. I'll be home late and fix you a snack." At six o'clock sharp he met Alacoque Wright under the City Hall clock; her punctuality had an architectural precision. She was wearing a curious medley of green skirt, turquoise top, and blue cape in a weave that reminded Qwilleran of dining-room chair seats somewhere in his forgotten past.
"I made it myself — out of upholstery samples," she said, peering at him from under a quantity of glossy brown hair that enveloped her head, shoulders, and much of her face.
He took her to the Press Club for dinner, aware that he was being observed by all the regulars at the bar and would have to account, the next day, for his taste in women. Nevertheless, it had to be the Press Club. He had a charge account there, and payday was not until Friday. He ushered his date — she asked Qwilleran to call her Cokey — upstairs to the main dining room, where the atmosphere was quieter and the rolls were sprinkled with poppy seeds.
"Have a cocktail?" Qwilleran invited. "I'm on the wagon myself, but I'll have a lemon and seltzer to keep you company." Cokey looked keenly interested. "Why aren't you drinking?" "It's a long story, and the less said about it, the better." He put a matchbook under one table leg; all the Press Club tables had a built-in wobble.
"I'm on a yoga kick myself," she said. "No liquor. No meat. But I'll make us one of nature's own cocktails if you'll order the ingredients and two champagne glasses." When the tray arrived, she poured a little cream into each glass, filled it with ginger ale, and then produced a small wooden device from her handbag.
"I carry my own nutmeg and grate it fresh," she said, dusting the surface of the drinks with brown spice. "Nutmeg is a stimulant. The Germans put it in everything." Qwilleran took a cautious sip. The drink had a bite. It was like Cokey — cool and smooth, with an unexpected pepperiness. "How did you decide to become an architect?" he asked.
"Maybe you haven't noticed," said Cokey, "but there are more architects named Wright than there are judges named Murphy. We seem to gravitate to the drafting board. However, the name is getting me nowhere." She stroked her long hair lovingly. "I may have to give up the struggle and find a husband." "Shouldn't be difficult." "I'm glad you're so confident." She set her jaw and ground some more nutmeg on her cocktail. "Tell me what you think of the decorating profession after two weeks in the velvet jungle?" "They seem to be likable people." "They're children! They live in a world of play." A shadow passed over Cokey's face — the sliver of face that was visible. "And, just like children, they can be cruel." She studied the grains of nutmeg clinging to the inside of her empty glass and, catlike, darted out a pink tongue to lick it clean.
A man walked past the table and said, "Hi, there, Cokey." She looked up abruptly. "Well, hello!" she said with meaning in the inflection.
"You know him?" Qwilleran asked in surprise.
"We've met," said Cokey. "I'm getting hungry. May we order?" She looked at the menu and asked for brook trout with a large garnish of parsley, and a small salad. Qwilleran compared her taut figure with his own well-padded beltline and felt guilty as he ordered bean soup, a hefty steak and a baked potato with sour cream.
"Are you divorced?" Cokey asked suddenly.
Qwilleran nodded.
"That's cool. Where do you live?" "I moved into the Villa Verandah today." He waited for her eyes to open wide, and then added in a burst of honesty, "The apartment belongs to a friend who's gone abroad." "Do you like living alone?" "I don't live alone," said Qwilleran. "I have a cat. A Siamese." "I adore cats," Cokey squealed. "What's your cat's name?" Qwilleran beamed at her. People who really appreciated animals always asked their names. "His real name is Kao K'o-Kung, but he's called Koko for everyday purposes. I considered myself a dog man until I met Koko. He's a remarkable animal. Perhaps you remember the murder on Blenheim Place last spring. Koko is the cat who was involved, and if I told you some of his intellectual feats you wouldn't believe me." "Oh, I'd believe anything about cats. They're uncanny." "Sometimes I'm convinced Koko senses what's going to happen." "It's true! Cats tune in with their whiskers." "That's what I've been told," said Qwilleran, preening his moustache absently. "Koko always gives the impression that he knows more than I do, and he has clever ways of communicating. Not that he does anything uncatlike, you understand. Yet, somehow he gets his ideas across…. I'm not explaining this very well." "I know exactly what you mean." Qwilleran looked at Cokey with appreciation. These were matters he could not discuss with his friends at the Fluxion. W
ith their beagles and boxers as a frame of reference, how could they understand about cats? In this one area of his life he experienced a kind of loneliness. But Cokey understood. Her mischievous green eyes had mellowed into an expression of rapport.
He reached over and took her hand — the slender, tapering hand that was playing tiddledywinks with stray poppyseeds on the tablecloth. He said, "Have you ever heard of a cat eating spider webs — or glue? Koko has started licking gummed envelopes. One day he chewed up a dollar's worth of postage stamps." "I used to have a cat who drank soapsuds," Cokey said. "They're individualists. Does Koko scratch furniture? It was noble of your friend to let you move into his apartment with a cat." "Koko does all his scratching on an old unabridged dictionary," Qwilleran said with a note of pride.
"How literary of him!" "It's not really an old dictionary," he explained. "It's the new edition. The man Koko used to live with bought it for himself and then decided he preferred the old edition, so he gave the new one to the cat for a scratching pad." "I admire men who admire cats." Qwilleran lowered his voice and spoke confidentially. "We have a game we play with this dictionary. Koko exercises his claws, and I add a few words to my vocabulary… This is something I wouldn't want to get around the Press Club you understand." Cokey looked at him mistily. "I think you're wonderful," she said. "I'd love to play the game sometime." When Qwilleran arrived home that evening, it was late, and he was exhausted. Girls like Cokey made him realize he was not so young as he used to be.
He unlocked the door of his apartment and was groping for the light switch when he saw two red sparks in the darkened living room. They glowed with a supernatural light. He had seen them before, and he knew what they were, but they always gave him a scare.
"Koko!" he said. "Is that you?" He flipped the lights on, and the mysterious red lights in Koko's eyes were extinguished.
The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern Page 6