“I don’t know what to say, Logan,” Chloe said, her eyes filled with sadness. “I feel like this is my fault. You wouldn’t have to do this if it wasn’t for what I did to you.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Chloe. I’m going to go home, go to school, and figure things out. If Jade and I are meant to be together, then we’ll be fine. If not, then we’ll move on. I really do hope that things work out between us, but I’m not going to worry about it right now.”
“Do you want to stay with us for a few days to make sure before you go all the way back home?”
“Nah. I’m going to book my ticket and head back tomorrow if I can. I’m sure Amber will pick me up from the airport.”
Chloe frowned but nodded. “I’ll support you with whatever decision makes you happy.”
“I know you will. I’m going to book my flight and go ahead and get packed up,” I said, hinting for her to leave. I had a lot going through my head, and I wanted to be alone to try to process all of it.
Despite my words, deep down, I was worried that this would ruin any chance for Jade and me, but I knew I needed to figure everything out if I ever wanted to be truly happy.
“I’ll let you be then. I’m going to start dinner since Drake will be home soon. You’ll eat with us, won’t you?”
I smiled. “Of course. Just yell when it’s ready.”
She closed the door behind her when she left. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and booked a flight for first thing in the morning. After that was done, I packed up the few clothes I had out and tossed my bag on the floor.
My phone beeped just as I was about to open my door and walk downstairs.
Jade: I miss you already, friend.
I grinned as I typed my reply.
Me: I miss you, too, friend. We’ll talk soon.
“I can’t believe you came back. I seriously thought you were joking last night when you texted and asked me to come pick you up from the airport,” Amber said.
She pulled away from the airport and hit the interstate.
“I told you I’d be back. When have I ever lied to you?” I asked.
“Well, never, but still…I thought for sure you’d move out there and shack up with Jade.”
I grinned. “Nah, I like shacking up with you too much.”
“Aw, you have such a way with words, Logan. My panties just melted.”
I snorted. “Since when do you wear panties?”
She giggled. “Shut up, and tell me what happened. I thought you’d be all whiny and shit since you came home, but you’re not. Did you talk to Jade or what?”
“Yeah, I talked to her. She was innocent, just like Chloe and Drake had said.”
“So, why aren’t you with her now? And don’t tell me it’s because you enjoy my company so much.” Amber changed lanes to pass a car.
“Because I need some time to myself. I need to stop focusing every part of my life on whether or not I’m in a relationship, and I need to just start living. I have a year left at WVU, and then I’ll be out in the real world. I want to take this last year to just enjoy myself.”
“I get that. I do. I spent so much time focusing on one guy that I forgot how to have fun. Now, I do what I want, and I love it,” Amber said.
I shot her a look. “I don’t plan to go out and party like you do, Amber. I just want to have fun and relax.”
“Hey! I don’t party that much!” She gave me an indignant look.
“Bullshit. Ever since the band left, you’ve changed. You’re out partying almost every night. I know why, Amber. I’m not stupid.”
“Let’s just drop it before we end up pissed-off at each other, okay?” she finally said after a moment of silence.
“Fine, but you know you need to face Adam at some point.”
She sighed. “Yeah, I know. Did you…did you see him while you were out there?”
“I didn’t. Why don’t you just call and talk to him, Amber?”
“No. I’m not calling him. We’re done. We really weren’t anything to begin with. I was just another easy-lay groupie to him.”
“Have you asked him how he feels?”
She shook her head. “Why would I? If he really cared, he would have asked me to be with him. Drake took Chloe with him to L.A. once everything was settled between them. If Adam wanted me out there, he would have said something. Instead, he told me, ‘later,’ and walked out of my life.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Logan, drop it. Please.”
“All right, I’ll shut up.”
“Thanks. And Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really happy you’re home. I think you’re stupid for leaving Jade out there, but I’m still glad you’re here with me.”
I’d made it four months. That was it. I’d handled the rest of August and even part of September fairly well, but then I caved. I missed Jade. It was that simple. I missed her. I had gone through my daily routine of school, work, and homework, but that was as far as I’d made it. My plans to go out and explore life had crashed and burned before I’d even realized what was happening.
Unfortunately for me, I still had to finish my semester. I had a full academic scholarship, and I couldn’t just give it up and walk away. Even though I was stuck, that didn’t keep me from planning ahead.
By the end of October, I was signed up for the same online college where Chloe was enrolled. I would start classes online in January. I had enough money saved up from working at the shop that I was able to afford the semester’s tuition. My web design and graphics major made it a lot easier to take online classes. Learning to build websites could literally be done from anywhere.
My finals would be over a week before Christmas, and my plane ticket out to L.A. was booked for the following day.
Amber figured out what I had been up to a few weeks before I would be leaving. She didn’t seem surprised when she cornered me, and I admitted that I was going to L.A. If anything, she seemed relieved.
“It’s about damn time you found some happiness, Logan.”
I took that as her blessing.
I spent Thanksgiving with my mom, and it was awkward as hell, but she was really trying to make up for how my life had been as a kid. I thought she expected me to spend Christmas with her as well, so I let her know of my plans. She didn’t seem happy that I was going all the way to L.A., but she wished me luck.
I called Chloe a few days before I was scheduled to fly out, letting her know what my plans were. While I had every intention of running to Jade’s apartment as soon as I could, I wanted to make sure that I had a place to stay in case she decided that she didn’t want me. Even though she’d told me she would wait for me, I knew that life happened. If she’d moved on already, that would be my fault, and I’d have to deal with the consequences of my idiotic decisions. I just hoped that she hadn’t forgotten me. I doubted if Chloe would mind if I moved in with her and Drake, but I wasn’t sure how well Drake would take it. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stand living with him.
Chloe was ecstatic when I told her my plans. Just like before, she was the one who was hoping I’d end up with Jade. I’d kept in touch with Chloe a lot over the last few months, and the awkwardness from before was gone. We were right back where we used to be—best friends. I’d expected to feel disappointment over that, but I didn’t. I really was over Chloe. It’d only taken me three years to pull my head out of my ass.
Go figure.
When I walked out of LAX airport and climbed into a taxi, I didn’t feel nervous like last time. I knew what I wanted. It was time that I stopped letting my past get in the way and just go for it. If Jade wasn’t ready to be with me again, I’d stay with Chloe or find a place of my own until she was or until I was ready to move on. One way or another, I would make this work.
The taxi dropped me off at Jade’s apartment just as the sun was setting. I punched in the code Chloe had given me and rode the elevator up to her floor. I knocked on the door and wait
ed.
When Jade opened the door, her eyes widened. “Logan? What are you doing here?” You didn’t mention anything about coming out over break,” she said, still looking shocked.
We’d talked on the phone and texted a few times each week. It had been enough to let me know how she was doing, but it hadn’t been enough to keep me from going nuts. I wanted to be where she was.
“I wanted to surprise you.” I grinned at her. “We have a lot to talk about, but before we do…”
I pushed past her into the apartment and dropped my luggage on the floor. I turned back to her and pulled her close. She opened her mouth to say something, but I silenced her with a kiss. She gasped in shock as I pressed her against the wall and ground my body against hers. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, and I felt fire flood my veins when she responded back.
I cursed myself for being stupid and for making us both wait for this. Being with Jade was what I wanted. She was everything.
I bit down on her lip gently before finally pulling away. “I’ve thought about doing that for way too long.”
“I…wow. I don’t even know what to say, Logan,” she whispered as she looked up at me.
“I do. I’m a fucking idiot. I never should have left you last time. I thought that I could figure everything out if I was on my own. Instead, all I did was realize what an idiot I’ve been when it comes to you. I won’t walk away from you again. Twice was too many times. I should have kicked Mikey’s ass and moved here to be with you this summer. When I came here before, I was too worried about my own feelings to care about yours. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me gently. “Of course I do. No one is perfect, Logan. You’re not, and I’m certainly not. I’ve watched you go through hell since I met you. I understand why you did the things you did. It wasn’t because you didn’t care. It’s because you cared too much, and you had too many lessons in pain to deal with any of it. I think I fell for you the minute I saw you even though I never thought we’d have a chance. You’re a good soul, Logan, and there aren’t enough of those in this world. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You don’t hide your emotions. You’re strong and proud and brave. I couldn’t ask for a better man to fall in love with.”
She grabbed my face and pulled my lips down to hers. Instead of me kissing her, she took control. Her lips explored mine with a hungry need that left me gasping for air. I picked her up and carried her through the living room. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pressing her center against my dick.
“Where’s your bedroom?” I asked, my voice rough from emotion as I ended our kiss.
“Straight back, second door on the left,” she mumbled before attacking my lips again.
I carried her through the apartment, bumping into walls and furniture as I went. Her bedroom door was open.
Thank God.
I walked in and fell onto the bed with her underneath me.
“You’re okay with this?” I asked, wanting to be sure.
I would stop now if she wanted. It might kill me, and my cock would probably explode in my pants, but I would stop.
“Yeah,” she said before kissing me greedily.
Neither of us spoke after that. She grabbed my shirt and pulled it off. As she worked to unbutton my pants, I grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. She helped me remove it before attacking my pants again. As soon as they were loose, I stood and pulled them off. My boxers went next. I grabbed her shorts and yanked them off with her underwear. She unclasped her bra and tossed it to the floor.
I climbed back onto the bed and started kissing her again. I ran my tongue along the soft skin of her neck and down to her collarbone. I kissed down her chest, between her breasts, and down to her belly button. As I made my way back up, I ran my tongue across one of her nipples and then the other. I blew on the wet tips, making her shudder.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered before capturing her mouth with mine.
When I broke the kiss, she said, “Shh…just love me, Logan.”
I smiled as I kissed back down her stomach. I ran my tongue along the apex of her thighs, making her moan with need. Her body arched off the bed when I found her clit and circled it with my tongue. Her whimpers were driving me mad as I pushed two fingers inside her.
“Oh my God! Please don’t stop!”
Her hips rocked up, pushing her wet fold up against my face. I continued to devour her as I increased the speed of my fingers. I felt her tighten around them as she came. My tongue replaced my fingers, and I prolonged her orgasm.
When her body finally quieted, I stood and grabbed my jeans.
“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.
“Condom,” I muttered. My body was literally aching with need, and I wasn’t sure I could get more than one word out.
“Don’t. I’m on the pill now.”
“Thank God.” I grinned as I dropped my jeans and climbed back onto the bed. “I’m not going to last very long this first time. I need you too much.”
“I don’t care. We have all night,” she said as I positioned myself at her entrance.
“We have forever.”
I slammed into her, making her cry out. She wrapped her legs around my waist, so I could go deeper.
“Jesus fucking Christ, woman. You feel so good.”
Being with her before had been incredible, but now, without a condom, was life-changing. I pumped my hips fast and hard, her cries of pleasure driving me to move faster. I braced myself on my arms and used her footboard as leverage.
“Come with me, baby,” I said as I felt myself reaching my limit.
I rocked into her once more before the world exploded around me. I roared as I released into her. If I died right now, I would be okay. I doubted if I would have another moment in my life as good as this one.
“So, I take it you’re here to stay?” Jade asked a few hours later.
“Yeah, I’m here to stay, if you’ll have me.” I pulled her tighter against me.
She rested her head on my chest, and I started running my hands through her hair.
“Of course I’ll have you. I’ve already had you three times tonight. I might not be able to walk tomorrow.”
“I don’t care. That’s a good excuse for me to keep you in bed,” I teased.
She laughed. “How did we end up here? When you left, I thought you were really gone despite what you’d said. Seeing you at my door was…I don’t know. I never thought I’d see you again.”
“I realized that you were too important to waste time waiting. I finished up the semester at WVU, and then I transferred to an online college. I only have one semester until I get my degree. Once I’m finished, I can work from anywhere.”
“I’m so happy right now. You have no idea. I don’t think I’ll ever let you out of my sight.” She kissed right above my heart. “I love you so much, Logan.”
“I love you, too. And you’ll never have to let me out of your sight. I’m here to stay.”
“What about when I go on tour again? Will you come with me?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Someone has to keep the crazy male fans away. I’ve seen pictures of you in your stage outfits. I’ll be lucky if I don’t end up in jail.”
She laughed. “Have you been stalking me online?”
“Yep.” I laughed. “Since I couldn’t be around you just yet, I had to find a way to pass the time.”
She sat up and turned to face me. “One more question, and then I swear, I’ll stop looking for things that will ruin the moment.”
“What?” I asked.
“Chloe—are you really over her? I want you to be honest with me. If you’re not, we’ll deal with it.”
I grinned as I sat up and pulled her against me. “I’m over her. I have been for a long time. I don’t want anyone but you, Jade. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to her.”
“I trust yo
u.” She kissed me. “I’m done with the past. All I want to do is focus on the future.”
“Me, too, babe. Me, too.”
Seven Years Later
“Are you nervous?” I asked Jade as I turned into Chloe and Drake’s driveway.
“Not really. I think they’ll be excited,” she said as she looked over at me.
I grinned as I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips. I kissed her palm before turning it over and kissing the wedding band I’d placed on her finger three years ago. It still didn’t seem like we’d been married that long. Waking up next to her every morning was a gift that I still couldn’t wrap my head around. It didn’t seem real. How I’d ended up with her after everything that had happened made me realize that sometimes, things were just meant to be.
Things had changed so much for us over the past few years. As soon as I’d graduated, I’d started a web design business. I would travel with Jade and the rest of Breaking the Hunger, but my business was based in L.A. It had taken me a while to build up a client base, but after a couple of years, I’d finally managed to make a decent living off of it—not that Jade and I needed my income. Breaking the Hunger was one of the biggest rock bands in the world, and Jade’s paychecks were more than I could wrap my head around. Most of my clients were other bands that I’d met through Breaking the Hunger. In the past two years, I’d expanded so much that I employed two designers to help me handle all the clients.
I parked my car next to Chloe’s and shut off the engine. I climbed out and then grabbed the box filled with presents out of the backseat. As we walked up the steps to their home, I kept my other arm around Jade’s waist.
She knocked on the door since both of my hands were tied up, and a few seconds later, Chloe peeked through the glass window in the door.
Chloe opened the door and smiled at both of us. “We were starting to wonder if you two were going to make it on time.”
I grinned over at Jade. We’d stopped by the house we kept in West Virginia to grab the presents we stashed there, and we’d gotten distracted for a while.
Toxic: Logan's Story Page 21