by Meg Jackson
Her voice was getting loud, and only the knowledge that she might be heard by the diner’s other patrons kept her from full-on screaming. Cordelia looked shocked, stunned into silence.
“You are not my daughter,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “A daughter of mine would never speak to me like that. After all I’ve done for you, making sure you’d have a good life…”
“A good life? You think I lead a good life, Mom? You think having an eating disorder all through high school, being afraid of screwing up all the time, always anxious ‘cause I’m not perfect, you think that’s a good life?”
“Well, it sure as hell keeps you from having a worse life! Would you rather be fat and stupid and have everyone laugh at you all the time? Be the butt of every joke? Anxiety keeps you from making mistakes, Kimberly. It keeps you from being a complete and utter embarrassment.”
Cordelia’s tone was haughty. Kimberly merely shook her head, awed by her mother’s gall. Swallowing hard and closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, calming herself. There was no point in arguing with this woman. She would never admit that her way wasn’t the right way – the only way.
“Just, please, Mom, come out and have lunch with us,” Kim said, releasing her hands from the fists she’d unconsciously formed. “Just sit down and have your tilapia. It’ll be nice, okay? You’ll see that Kennick is very nice. You’ll like him, really.”
Cordelia’s nose scrunched.
“I highly doubt that,” the older woman muttered. After a pause, she gave an exaggerated sigh. “Alright, just this once. Only because I don’t care what anyone in this awful town thinks of me. And because I don’t doubt it will be long before you see behind that handsome face of his and see that he’s no good, that no one like him will ever be good.”
Kim bit back the urge to scream once more, to stride from the bathroom and leave her mother in the diner, to grab Kennick and make out with him right in front of Cordelia’s beady, angry eyes. Instead, she followed her mother, who was still walking with a stick lodged firmly up her rear, back to the booth, where their food waited. So did Kennick, scrolling through his phone before smiling amiably at their return.
“It’s rude to look at your phone when you’re at the table,” Cordelia murmured, spreading her napkin over her lap before looking at the bland dish in front of her. As Kim squeezed past Kennick once more, she was relieved he didn’t try to get handsy again. The waitress had brought extra parmesan; a whole lot of it. Kim shook some out onto her salad while her mother stared in obvious disgust. When her hand stilled, shame nipping at her cheeks from her mother’s dire look, she felt Kennick elbow in her side.
“C’mon,” he said out of the side of his mouth, as though Cordelia were in another state rather than right across the booth. “You could always use an extra couple pounds, anyway. You know, for winter.”
Cordelia’s knuckles whitened around her fork, which held barely a bite of fish.
“It’s summer,” she said through gritted teeth. Kennick shrugged and grinned.
“Ever heard the story of the industrious ant and the lazy beetle?”
“Can’t say I have,” Cordelia said, popping the morsel into her mouth and chewing. If there was a way to chew indignantly, Cordelia was a master of it.
“It’s a good one,” Kennick said, digging into his own fragrant, messy-looking meal. Through huge mouthfuls, he told the story. Kim barely ate any of her salad, enraptured by Kennick’s hands as they moved with the story, the voices he used for each character. He was a good storyteller, even for a story as trite and old as the fable.
“It’s summer on the farm. Bright, big sun up there in the sky, not a chill in sight, all sorts of reasons to party. So that’s what the beetle’s doing, just partying his little brown butt off. Stays up all night singing to the moon, sleeps all day, or dances in the field, takes a nap when it gets too hot out…”
“Beetles don’t sing,” Cordelia interrupted, barely making a dent in her fish. “That’s grasshoppers. You’ve got the story wrong. It’s about a grasshopper and an ant.”
“Everything sings, Cordy. Just gotta know how to listen. Anyway,” Kennick continued, either immune to or unaware of the looks Cordelia and Kim were giving him over calling the woman “Cordy.”
“So the beetle couldn’t be happier. And one day, he sees a buddy of his. An ant. Now, every day he sees this ant and they say howdy-doo and all that. And every day that beetle sees the ant, the ant is pulling some big old morsel somewhere. Something that’s twice the size of him, you know? Corn kernels or sunflower seeds.
So this day, the beetle is feeling especially sociable, and he says, ‘what are you doing all day, breaking your back carrying that food to god-knows-where? C’mon and party with me, I know a place with lots of nice lil lady ants who’re just dying to meet a big strong ant like you.”
At that, Kennick flashed Kim the sort of smile that made her blush – a deep down blush.
“And the ant goes, ‘no can do, bud. Gotta work with the whole fam, stockpiling for winter.’ And the beetle says, ‘winter is forever away. Take a chill pill and come party!’ But the ant just shakes his head and off he goes. The beetle, he’s like, that kid is crazy. I’m gonna go get me three lady beetles. That’s how I stockpile for winter.”
Kennick shoveled the last of his tamale into his mouth and leaned back with a contented sigh. Cordelia was waiting, fork half raised to her mouth. To Kim’s amusement, her mother was actually interested in the story.
“And?” Cordelia asked, annoyance in her voice. Kim wondered if she was annoyed that Kennick had stopped mid-story, or that she was actually enjoying it.
“And what?” Kennick asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“And what happened? When winter came?” Cordelia asked, exasperated now.
“Oh,” Kennick said with a chuckle, taking the last sip of his coke. “The beetle starved and the ant lived. That’s not a very fun part of the story. I just like the beetle’s outlook. Poor guy just didn’t realize he could just leave, go someplace where winter wasn’t so tough. Florida or something. But he wasn’t a Rom beetle, so he didn’t know. Little guy went out laughing, though, I bet.”
Cordelia was looking at Kennick like he had four eyes and Kim was hiding her laughter, poorly, with her hand.
“What on earth,” Cordelia hissed, “does that have to do with gaining weight for winter?”
“Nothing,” Kennick shrugged. “It’s just a good story.”
Cordelia looked at Kim wide-eyed, as though to say is this supposed to impress me?
“Well,” Cordelia said, pushing her plate away even though she’d barely eaten half her food. She eyed Kim’s nearly-empty bowl of salad, and the much-depleted shaker of parmesan cheese. “I don’t think encouraging people to gorge themselves on cream and cheese is very smart. Especially not someone like Kim.”
All Kim’s mirth fell out of her in a rush. Leave it to Mom, she thought, knowing that anytime she thought she might have a bit of reprieve from her mother’s disappointment, she would surely be proved wrong soon enough.
“Beauty cannot be eaten with a spoon, Mrs. James,” Kennick said with a wink. Cordelia’s eyes nearly rolled backward into her head.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“If you have to ask, you’ll never know,” Kennick said. “You’re finished already?”
He pointed to her plate.
“Lost my appetite watching the two of you,” she said, and though Kim hated her in that moment, there was pain in Cordelia’s voice. The old woman suddenly looked very, very old as she put her hand on her forehead and bent her neck, looking down and shaking her head.
“Mom….” Kim said, though even as she spoke the word she knew she had nothing to truly say.
“I better get going,” Cordelia said, rising from her seat. “Traffic is just awful.”
“Well,” Kennick said, rising to meet her and sticking his hand out once more, “it’s been an absolute pleasure, Co
rdelia James.”
She sneered at his hand.
“No, it hasn’t, and you know it hasn’t, Kennick Volanis,” she spat and turned on her heel, clicking her way out of the diner, a trail of bad feelings stretching out behind her. Kennick shrugged when he turned back to Kim, but seeing her distress he felt a sudden, irrational rage towards the woman. He’d taken all her snide comments and upsetting criticisms in stride, but seeing Kim crumpling now was too much. His hands balled into fists, so hard his knuckles cracked.
“Come on,” he said, keeping the growl from his voice. “I’m taking you somewhere.”
When she looked up at him, her eyes were watery. She sniffled and forced a smile.
“I really ought to get back…”
“Take the day off. Say you got female issues,” he said, digging into his wallet and throwing a few twenties on the table. Kim offered him a watery chuckle but shook her head. She pulled out her phone and made a strange sound.
“Oh,” she said, reading the text on the screen. “Well…that’s funny…”
“What is?” Kennick pried, eager to release the pent-up frustrations their horrible lunch date had instilled in him.
“Mayor says he’s not coming back in. Says to take the rest of the day off.”
“It’s kismet,” Kennick said with a growing smile. “Best not to test fate, baby.”
That, at last, forced a genuine smile from Kim.
“Well, what were you thinking?” she asked as she swiped the back of her hand across her eyes. They came back wet, but her eyes were dry.
“It’s a surprise. You’ll like it. I promise.”
Kim studied him. This man operated solely on surprises. And so far, she’d liked all of them. After dealing with her mother – the worst lunch she could ever remember – she could use one of Kennick Volanis’ surprises. She nodded.
“I have to stop by the office first, though,” she noted, easing herself out of the booth. “Close up and all that.”
“I’ll follow you, then we can take my car.”
Kim caught sight of Jessica, who was biting her lip so hard it could have split in two, behind the diner’s long counter. She knew something was up. She and Jessica were no great friends, but Kim liked to think of herself as everyone’s friend. The least she could do was offer a hug.
“I’ll meet you there,” she said, leaning up to kiss Kennick on the cheek. “I just want to do something real quick.”
He nodded and turned towards the door.
“And Kennick,” she said, softly, waiting for him to give her another look out of those beautiful green eyes. “Thanks. For this. I mean, it wasn’t exactly…fun. I don’t think you being here was the best thing that could have happened. But…well, I don’t know. Just thanks.”
She was thanking him for doing the one thing she’d never been able to do for herself. Standing up to her mother. He knew that if he hadn’t been there, her mother would have had one less thing to complain about, but no one would have told her to stop picking apart her daughter’s ego. He didn’t need to be thanked for that, either. When it came right down to it, he hadn’t done it for her. He’d done it for himself. Because the thought of anyone making Kim sad called to some primal thing inside him, some deep need to protect her.
“No thanks needed, baby,” he said, shooting her another perfectly crooked smile. “It’s a man’s job to stick up for his woman.”
His woman? He did not just say that, Kim thought, her breath catching in her throat as her heart did a somersault. But before she could ask him if he’d really just called her ‘his woman’, he was gone.
She shook the strange feeling off as best as she could as she approached Jessica, who seemed scared shitless when Kim appeared before her.
“Hey,” Kim said gently. “I just noticed, you look a little upset. I just wanted to know if there’s anything I can do to…”
“Oh,” Jessica said, her eyes scanning the diner as though looking for someone. “It’s nothing, Kim. Thanks. I mean, thanks anyway, but it’s all fine.”
But her voice cracked on the word “fine”. And the girl was most certainly scared of something. Kim narrowed her eyes as Jessica scanned the room again.
“You don’t look like it’s all fine,” Kim said softly, knowing she shouldn’t press too hard but also knowing that a girl with that kind of look on her face most certainly wasn’t fine.
“It’s none of your business,” Jessica snapped, turning her full attention to Kim. It seemed that all her fear and worry had turned suddenly to anger, and she directed it all at Kim. “You’re not my friend, so why do you even care? Leave me alone.”
“Alright,” Kim said, holding her hands up in surrender. “Alright, I get it, I’m sorry for prying. But you know where I work, if you do need someone just to talk to, alright?”
“Whatever,” Jessica mumbled, brushing past Kim to clear the recently vacated table. Kim sighed and watched her go, wondering what was going on. In her life, in her town, in her family, in her heart. What hope for normalcy could Kim ever have if even Jessica, the perpetually smiling and bubbly waitress, was acting out of character?
Maybe it’s something in the air, Kim thought as she left.
22
He knew she knew he was watching her. Following her. But she didn’t know who he was. He didn’t think she did, anyway. And even if she did, who cared? Soon enough she wouldn’t have anyone to tell.
It was good that she looked like Rhonda. It made it easier for him. He could just close his eyes and imagine it was her, imagine that he was doing the right thing again. And he was doing the right thing. The ends justified the means, didn’t they? And his ends would be good. Good for him, and good for his friends.
They wouldn’t be very good for Jessica Bainbridge. And they wouldn’t be very good for the Volanis brothers and their gang of criminals. But they should never have returned in the first place. After all this time, they should have let the past lie. Like he had. He’d had to forgive himself for letting things get out of hand. He should have stepped in earlier, really. He should have stopped her long before she had that little demon seed in her belly. It should have been his baby inside her. He’d waited for her all through high school, only for her to turn around and…
But the past was the past. This was now.
He wouldn’t give them another chance to ruin one of his people, his flock. They had to leave, and he was going to make sure they left right quick. He was sure that if Jessica knew that her fate was for the betterment of her town and the people she loved, she would accept it wholeheartedly.
23
“Please, tell me your Mom is just as bad,” Kim moaned into the window of Kennick's car. He still hadn't told her where they were going, and they'd already left Kingdom behind a few miles back.
“My Mom? She's not in the picture,” Kennick said, his tone casual. Still, Kim felt a flash of shame at herself for bringing it up; she knew Kennick had never talked about his mother, and she'd assumed there was a reason for that.
“I'm sorry,” she said, biting her lip as she pulled her forehead away from the glass to look at him. He didn't seem upset, but what did she know? She really did barely know him at all, although it never seemed that way when they were together. “I shouldn't have...”
“No,” he said with a shrug. “I'm serious, it's alright. My mother was a gypsy, tried and true. She stuck around until she simply couldn't do it anymore. Motherhood's not for everyone. And Dad, he was the one who really wanted kids. He did a great job raising us, and I don't hold anything against my mother for leaving. It was in her blood, so to speak.”
The smile he flashed Kim relaxed her slightly, though she couldn't quite understand his perspective. Who wouldn't be angry at their mother for leaving them? It was just human nature, wasn't it?
“Do your brothers feel the same? And Mina?” she asked.
“Damon does. And Mina, yeah, Mina doesn't give a crap. Mina,” he said with a chuckle, shaking his head, “I thin
k she's got more balls than the three boys combined. Cristov...well, I think Cristov took it the hardest. He's kind of the sensitive type, you know?”
Kim smiled, turning her gaze back out the window. Cristov, with his snarky attitude and sexual innuendos and desperate attempts to seem tough, was a good candidate for the secretly sensitive type. When Kennick turned the car off the road, into a parking lot that Kim had only ever drove past, giving it the mildest of attention, she leaned forward and her jaw dropped.
“You're kidding me,” she said in a deadpan that made Kennick laugh. “Here? This is the super secret surprise location?”
“Sure is,” he said, parking the car. The sign loomed above them: BORK'S GUNS AND RANGE.
“What are we supposed to do here?” Kim asked, a smile on her lips as she unbuckled her seat belt.
“What do you think?” Kennick chuckled, leaning across her to open the glovebox; inside, to Kim’s shock and discomfort, sat a gun, gleaming hot metal. Her instinctual reaction was pure fear; she’d never seen a gun in person. It looked just like one on TV or the movies, but it was real. And Kennick just drove around with it in his glovebox.
“You have a gun,” she said, the question turning into a statement since the answer was right in front of her. “Why?”
Kennick shrugged as he took the firearm from its place and tucked it into his jeans.
“I’ve been a lot of places, done a lot of things,” he said, but when he saw the look in her eyes he offered her a comforting smile. “The truth is, I just like them. And you’re gonna see why in a few minutes.”
She shook her head. She did not want to hold that gun. She didn’t want to fire that gun, either. She wanted nothing to do with that gun.
“Hey,” Kennick said softly, taking her chin in two fingers and drawing her gaze to his eyes. “Trust me. Just…trust me on this, alright?”