by Meg Jackson
He wondered what his little bathroom would look like filled with a bunch of some woman’s beauty care products…
Damn, Reign really hated the things his brain was doing recently.
12
After another hour and a half of waiting in my hotel room, clicking through the channels aimlessly, all the peace of mind I’d managed to gain that afternoon had reached its limit and I was back to waves of utter panic. My fingernails looked like some sort of horrible art school exhibit. My right eye was twitching uncontrollably. My lungs felt like I’d just run a marathon from all the hyperventilating I was doing. I was a total mess.
As soon as the clock struck 9, I stood up and walked mechanically towards the door. Some part of my poor, overworked brain expected to open the door and see Reign standing there. I cast a last long look at the safe before leaving; it still seemed to throb or pulse with the secret inside.
All that money isn’t going to do me a damn bit of good if Jeremy kills me, I thought for the umpteenth time that day. Most people dream of happening upon that much money, and it was certainly my savior in terms of escaping my marriage, but it was a very heavy weight to be carrying on my shoulders.
I didn’t know how much longer I could possibly support that weight.
At least, not without some help.
I crossed the dusty parking lot, temples throbbing with each step I took closer to the bar. Maybe you should just stay in the room, I thought, figuring that if Reign was any sort of good he’d come looking for me there once he saw I wasn’t at the bar. But another minute in that room, staring at the TV without actually comprehending anything I was seeing, would be an eternity in hell.
The bar was as crowded as it had been the night before – and even though I was no longer clutching the money to me like a baby, I felt less secure than ever. After all, I had to assume that word had gotten around by now, if Reign had made good on his promise to tell everyone that I was in their hands for safe keeping.
I certainly generated far more interest amongst the crowd than I had the previous night, with various people giving me looks and then turning to say something to their neighbor, who’d also turn to look at me. But, strangely enough, even though this was far removed from any sort of crowd I’d feel comfortable with, I didn’t feel that awkward with all the eyes on me. Mostly, I guess, because the looks were more curious – or even accepting – than anything else. Also because I was too damn scared of everything else in the world to give a hoot about the patrons of the Sun Lizard Motel and Bar.
I scanned the busy room, looking for Reign, and didn’t see him. But I did spot the woman who had been tending bar the night before, who had rented me the room. She was sitting at a table with another, much younger woman. They were leaning in close, talking confidentially, but from their shared smiles I got the feeling that it wasn’t too serious a conversation. I began to walk towards her, since she was the closest to an acquaintance that I had in the joint.
I wasn’t noticed even as I drew closer; the two women were drawing closer, too, to each other. I bit my lip, rethinking my plan, as it became clear that I was about to intrude on something very personal. The bartender’s companion was a slight, young blonde, and she seemed enamored with the older woman, hanging onto every whispered word.
I slowed down my approach, mind skipping somewhat; I had – and have – no problem with lesbians, but its awkward barging in on anyone’s make-out sesh, especially someone like the bartender, who hadn’t seemed to like me very much the night before to begin with. But I didn’t know who else to ask about Reign; I considered just going back to my room and waiting, but the idea alone was enough to drive me into a frantic state. I needed answers.
Just as I was about to dart forward and interrupt the kiss before it happened, the two women closed the gap between them, their lips meeting in a soft blur. Even as a straight woman, the view of two beautiful women kissing deeply wasn’t wholly lost on me.
Damn it, I thought, selfishly, now it’s gonna be super awkward.
What could I do? I was only a few steps away from the table where the women were kissing, their mouths now slightly parted, a faint pink hint of tongue between them. The bartender had her hand on the younger woman’s bicep and was stroking the flesh there; to my surprise, I seemed to be the only one watching.
I’d have thought a room full of dirty old biker dudes would have been hollering over the girl-on-girl action. But nope. It was just me. Just me being a weird creeper watching two perfectly consenting adults make out while I stood around with my mouth hanging open and my mind shot to shit with worry and stress.
I guess I knew they’d notice me eventually; I just hoped they wouldn’t notice until they were done kissing. But no luck; I watched as the older woman’s eyes peeked open and turned my way, as though she’d felt me looking. She pulled back from the kiss quickly, and I saw the younger girl’s head trailing along, lips puckered, as though looking for more.
“Can I help you?” the older woman snapped, her eyes now drilling holes into mine. I flinched under her gaze. The younger girl kept staring at the bartender at first, with a look akin to wonder, then turned to me, her face a sort of blank slate.
I don’t like to speak poorly of other women, especially not after what I’ve been through, but the girl looked like more like a bimbo now that I was up-close and could pick up on her vacant stare. Looking at her reminded me, somewhat, of times when I would lay in bed next to Jeremy, or even sit across from him at dinner, and force my mind to go blank. To avoid feeling anything, I’d often choose to feel and think nothing. The girl had the same look on her face as she stared at me. It made me feel tremendously sad, more than I’d felt since leaving Colorado.
I decided to package that feeling and hide it away for the time being. There would be hours and hours of driving that I could spend trying to unpack that feeling, and many other feelings. Now, I needed to get my shit together.
“I’m…I’m looking for Reign?” I said, softly, still shaken by the way the bartender was looking at me.
“Well, do I look like him?” She spat back, clearly annoyed that her moment with the blonde had been interrupted. But it was more than that.
“No, it’s just…I’m sorry. I just really need to…he has my car keys and…I just really need to….” I muttered, stuttering over my words, eyes dropping to the ground. There was a long pause as my sentence trailed off into nothing, before the bartender spoke once more. Her voice when she spoke sounded softer, almost resigned.
Or possibly empathetic?
I figured that was too much to hope for. When I looked back up at her, head still lowered, her face matched her voice: softer, less angry, more patient. She sighed.
“I get it, I get it, I’m sorry. My bark is worse than my bite. But, sorry doll, Reign didn’t leave her ‘til about three hours ago. I expect he’s still sleeping it off. That boy might not show his face again ‘til morning. He didn’t leave no keys with me, though,” she said, turning away from the girl now to sit facing me, her arms folding across each other on the table. I was struck once more by her beauty; she was older, but her eyes had a fiery glow, her face lean but full. She gave off the aura of some sort of Grecian warrior.
“Oh,” I said, processing this new information. A part of me, despite myself, was a bit annoyed; he hadn’t just gone home and gone to sleep? I brushed the irritation away; I was in no position to be judging this near-stranger’s habits or choices.
What was more pressing was the fact that without my keys, I was stuck there whether it was safe for me to leave or not. It was no longer my choice; that scared me. I’d lived without the option to make my own choices for so long, and it had been intoxicating to order for myself and choose to have a drink or a cigarette. I didn’t want to be left without choices ever again, even if it was under far different circumstances than my marriage.
The bartender was still staring at me as my mind turned, slowly. She didn’t seem impatient, but she did seem…calculatin
g? As though she was watching to see what I’d do, or like she was making a slow judgement of me. I wanted to impress her; I didn’t know why, and I didn’t know how, but I wanted this woman to respect me.
“Do you know where he lives?” I finally asked, figuring that I could just go grab my keys from him without causing too much trouble for anyone. Honey nodded, but I could tell from her expression that she didn’t want to give up that information.
“I do, and I could tell ya, but I’d rather not. Though he has taken quite a shine to you, I don’t think he’d mind you knowing where he lays his head down. But he would mind being woken up, and if he didn’t take it out on you he’d take it out on me. I don’t wanna hear him in here whinin’ about how I interrupted his sleep by givin’ out his address,” she said, ending with a halfhearted smile, not remotely apologetic.
“Well…I’m just….I’m worried…I need my keys and….”
“He comes in, I’ll let you know you’re looking for him, how’s that?”
“I just…” I felt myself creeping towards the edge, tears threatening to tumble down my cheeks as I grew more and more claustrophobic in the bar. I wanted to leave already, I wanted to get back on the road. Jeremy could be right on my tail by then…
“Darling, you’ll be safe enough here, you know,” the woman suddenly said, leaning forward. The girl beside her seemed to fade into the background as the bartender focused all her attention on me.
“And Rein is a good man. He’ll take care of you. I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, or him, but we’re your best chance right now at getting away in one piece. I don’t know your story, and I don’t wanna know your story, but I seen enough of girls like you to know someone’s looking for you. But he won’t find you here, I promise you that. We’ll make sure of it. Now, Reign’s probably got some scheme for helpin’ you, I don’t know what, but you oughta know you ain’t gonna find yourself in better hands.”
I wanted to believe her. I wanted to feel safe and sound and easy and clean and free. I wanted to, but there was so much in me that was scared to trust anyone. The woman cocked her head and looked me up and down, as though sizing me up for a final judgement.
“Name’s Honey,” she finally said, sticking out her hand. Automatically, without really even thinking about it, I took her hand. Her grip was firm, her eyes never left mine. This time, though, I didn’t feel like some sort of prey in the eyes of a predator. Her look was far from welcoming, but at least it wasn’t so…irritated.
“Gabriella,” I said, my mouth moving instinctually. We dropped our handshake and I couldn’t think of a single other thing to say, or do.
“Well, if you want to wait, you can go on and have yourself a drink. On the house. Tell ‘em Honey said so,” she said, now turning away from me and back to the waifish girl who’d been waiting like a spectator watching a tennis match. But before I could turn around, she turned back, though this time she was looking just over my shoulder, a smile spreading over her face.
“Did you think I forgot about you?” A voice suddenly said from behind. A tired-sounding voice that was nonetheless immediately recognizable, even to my addled mind.
“Well, I never thought I’d see the day where you got up after…what? Three hours of sleep?” Honey said, leaning back in her seat, the girl beside her once more relegated to the sidelines.
“Some things are more important than sleep, Honey,” Reign said. Even before I turned, I could feel his presence like hands on my body, his voice sending delicious tingles up my spine. I’m screwed if this happens every time I see him, I thought. I really never will leave this place…
He looked as handsome on no sleep as he had the night before, his long black hair messy and shagging over his eyes. I’d forgotten how tall he was, though, and as my eyes ran along his lean figure I felt another thrill, something exciting and amorous waking up inside me.
No, no, focus now, Gabriella, you’re getting in over your head because of everything else that’s happening, you have to stay focused, I thought.
“I’m glad to see you,” I stuttered, immediately blushing and cursing myself for not coming up with something better to say to him. He didn’t seem to share my thoughts on the matter, though, and smiled broadly at me. Holding his hand before my face, I was relieved to see my car keys dangling from one finger.
“I moved your car to…” he started to say, but I interrupted him, grabbing the dangling keys from his hand as though they were the antidote to a poison coursing through my veins. Just holding them made me feel a million times better; I was in control again. No one could keep me from leaving. No one but myself, of course.
“I saw, thanks,” I said, pocketing the keys and keeping my eyes well away from his. Every time I looked at him I felt the same urge to reach out and touch him, felt my heart pounding in my throat, wanted to believe every word that dripped from his perfect lips. But I couldn’t let my guard down like that. No matter how helpful he seemed, both in practical terms and in less-than-practical terms, it would do me no good to stick around longer than I needed to.
“Still planning on going to Mexico all by your lonesome?” He asked, and I detected a hint of disappointment in his voice. I’d thought that all our talk in the bedroom had been just that – silly bedroom talk – and that he’d be through with me. But now it certainly seemed like he wanted to make good on his promises – or at least stall me from leaving.
“I am,” I said simply, my tone terse.
“Tonight?”
“Well…” I said, my eyes darting around the bar. Honey had turned back to her flirty friend; no one seemed to be watching Reign and I talk. I hadn’t really decided whether or not to leave that night. For one thing, if I drove all through the night, my sleep schedule would wind up off track and I’d have to find someplace to spend the day. Then again, it might be safer to travel at night. But then again, with less people on the roads at night I’d stick out like a sore thumb. But then again…
“I get that you’re anxious to leave,” Reign said, picking up on my hesitation. “But if you stick around, I’m pretty sure I can get you into a new car tomorrow. Well, not a new car, but a different car. Clean plates, registration, all that, no problem.”
I bit my lip, still avoiding Reign’s gaze. I knew damn well that I wanted to stay for another night. If only to feel those feelings one more time…assuming he still wanted me, of course. And a car would be an immense help, would take a huge load off my shoulders.
“Come here, sit down for a bit,” Reign said, finally, after a few moments had passed. He reached out and placed his hand gently on my lower back, steering me towards an empty table in the corner of the bar.
His hand on me made my brain blink out of commission. I looked back as Reign guided me; Honey was watching once more, her eyebrows raised in interest. I wondered what she was thinking, why she was so interested in what was going on between Reign and I. I hoped I wasn’t stepping on her territory in some way; but she seemed to be perfectly happy with the girl beside her.
“You know, Honey is kind of like a mother around here,” Reign said, once more picking up on my thoughts. “I mean, not really, she’s more like a…like a wife, or something, to everyone. Keeps an eye on us, out for us. Takes care of her boys. She’s got this sixth sense for trouble, you know? So she takes some warming up to, that’s all.”
“Oh,” I said, taking a seat, somewhat relieved to be free of Reign’s gently pressing hand, which had all but eradicated my ability to think or function.
“She’s a good woman, Honey,” he continued. “A lot like you, actually.”
“How’s that?” I asked, no longer able to keep my eyes away from Reign as he took his seat across from me. God damn, I still couldn’t believe a fat girl like me had spent the night with an Adonis like him…not just spent the night, but the whole damn morning, too.
“Just similar,” he said, clamming up on the subject. I got the feeling he didn’t quite want to go further out of a sense of
propriety; I supposed that gossip wasn’t something he was comfortable with.
“I don’t think she likes me much,” I said. Reign chuckled.
“She doesn’t like many strangers much. We certainly don’t call her Honey ‘cause she’s so sweet,” he said.
“What’s her real name?” I asked, suddenly curious about how everyone around here got their nicknames. I’d heard enough strange names being thrown around, and I didn’t know the first thing about MC culture.
“I don’t know, don’t care. She’s Honey to us, and that’s all that matters,” Reign said.
And what’s your real name, Reign? How’d you get such a regal nickname? Where did you even come from…I found myself getting lost in my thoughts. Being around him…I just wanted to know more. Everything. I wanted to read his autobiography.
“So…the car…” I said, feeling a bit more stable now that my mind and body had gotten used to being around him again. That initial shock is a killer, I thought, marveling at how dumbstruck he’d made me. And how, even now that I’d calmed down, there was really nothing that I wanted more than to be closer to him.
“Yeah, so, we got a dealer here in town, actually just a ways out of town. He’s a good guy, he’ll do an easy trade-in for you, on the spot. He’s legit, but he knows how to keep his mouth shut under pressure,” Reign said, leaning back, one arm draped over the side of the chair and the other laying across the table.
“Well, I mean, that sounds…that sounds fine?” I said, torn between desire to stay, the logic of what Reign was saying, my instinctual urge to leave as soon as possible, and suspicion over the happy coincidences that had led me to this perfect situation. The phrase “too good to be true” came to mind.
“What you really ought to get is a bike,” Reign said, suddenly, a glint in his eye, his smile spreading wider. I scoffed.
“Are you kidding me? I’m trying to keep a low profile, not announce myself to every town I go through. Besides, I’ve never even ridden on the back of a motorcycle before,” I said. I knew he wasn’t being serious, but the idea drove a thrill of fear through me. I was telling the truth; I’d never been on a motorcycle, they’d always scared me. The thought of being exposed and moving so quickly…it wasn’t for me.