by Cas Peace
“Sullyan, I’m begging you. Please don’t send me away with the others tomorrow.”
His soul shone naked in his indigo eyes, and she had to look away. She drew a deep breath, sensing the fear sparking in his breast at what she might say.
“Oh, Robin. If it were only up to me, I truly would never be parted from you ever again. In all honesty, I fear I might not be able to complete my task without you.”
She looked up, seeing hope, despair and love playing in his eyes. “But,” she added, “the decision is not mine to make.”
He was astounded and opened his mouth to reply, but she firmly forestalled him. “Neither is it yours.”
“Sullyan!”
She placed the fingers of her left hand across his lips. “No, Robin. I cannot let you throw away a brilliant career and potential for Mastery for nothing.”
Again he opened his mouth, no doubt to protest her use of the word ‘nothing’, but she cut him off.
“My love, it will help me more than I can say to know that whatever befalls me, you are still there, using your training, being what you are, and becoming what you will be. There is much of me in you, both in your control over your powers and in your command of the men of my company. Would you give that up as if it were of no account? You must not. It is part of who you are, and what you would gain in return would soon be just ashes and memories. That is no trade, Robin, believe me. However, for the sake of our love, I will make you a concession.”
He gazed at her through tear-filled eyes, but there was not much hope within them. She tried to smile for him but failed.
“You may wait with me while Bull returns with the others to the Manor. He must speak to the General for me, tell him the situation, and explain why I cannot return. There are also some things I will need. We will have one day to ourselves, but once Bull returns, you must go back with him to continue your career.
“You will always have my love, Robin, you know that. But I will not, I cannot, go through this knowing I have let you destroy the life you love. Can you understand that? Can you … forgive me?”
He dropped her hands and stepped away, tears falling unchecked. He couldn’t speak, his throat too constricted by grief. Silently, she watched him, wanting to comfort him, yet knowing he had to come to his own acceptance of what must be.
He moved to the table and leaned both hands on it, bowing his head. She saw his shoulders shake as sorrow overwhelmed him. Unable to bear it, she came to his side. Without touching him, she extended her senses until she felt the essence of him within her mind. Carefully, she let him see how deeply she loved him and let her own warm, amber essence mingle with his.
After a few moments, the tremble of his body eased and she felt his spirit respond. He raised his head, turning slowly to look at her. Those deep indigo eyes, shimmering with tears, pierced her heart as they always did with the reflected clarity of his soul. Fractionally, they widened as he caught an echo of her thoughts. Now they held a question.
She brushed her fingers tenderly along the side of his face, feeling the smoothness of his skin. Hesitantly, she smiled. “Robin,” she said, a husky note creeping back into her lilting voice, “I would rather not sleep alone tonight.”
He gave a sharp gasp, half of hope, half of fear. Her heart nearly broke to think he might suspect her of falseness. She met his uncertain gaze with honesty, letting him see her intentions.
He whispered, “Are you sure …?”
She moved closer, smelling the sweetness of his breath and his other, subtler, masculine odors that she had always found most compelling. Her face came close to his, their lips almost touching. An electric tingle shot through her skin.
“My only love, I have never been surer. Rienne told me once that I should not cast away my one chance of happiness because of duty. She was right. I should not have waited so long, not when I knew how you felt. I was afraid it might … complicate matters between us. I was wrong. I should have trusted you. I have given us both needless pain, and I am sorry.”
He drew back so he could look in her eyes. He cupped her face in both hands, trembling.
“You did what you thought was right, and I … well, I have tried to do what you wanted. I will do the same now, but you must be very certain that this is what you want. I couldn’t bear to hurt you—not after what you’ve suffered. But I tell you now, if we go much further than this, I may not be able to help myself.”
“I appreciate your candor, Robin, but I intend to go much, much further than this.” Leaning forward, she kissed him on the lips.
Their minds were still linked, so each felt what the other did. Neither thought they could contain it. After a long moment they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Robin’s eyes were as dilated as Sullyan’s when she expended power. Hers were amber and glowing.
Taking his hand, she led him to the room she had chosen for the night. It was dark within, but the low fire laid earlier lent a pearly quality to the shadows climbing the walls. Robin closed the door behind them and leaned his back to it, his heart thumping in his breast.
Sullyan crossed to the bed and raised her arms to unbraid her wealth of hair. Its silken softness cascaded down her shoulders and back, rippling like liquid fire in the glow of reflected flames. He came silently up behind her and buried his face in the fragrant waves at her neck. She took a deep and trembling breath as she felt his hands upon her. He could feel her tremor as she turned to face him.
“I need you, Robin,” she whispered. “I need you to take away the fear and the pain. I think you are the only one who can.”
Taking their time, they undressed before the fire. Although they had seen each other naked many times during their two years together, that had been a necessary part of their military life and didn’t mean anything. This time, each felt they were learning about a stranger. Reveling in smooth skin, firm muscles, and strong arms, they finally twined themselves together on the bed. Despite his mounting ardor and overwhelming arousal, Robin had the presence of mind, before it was too late, to raise himself from her lips and ask, “Are you still sure?”
His only reply was a pair of slim and urgent arms linking behind his neck and smooth legs locking around his hips. And then it was far, far too late.
Chapter Nine
No one rose early the next morning. Nevertheless, by the time Rienne wandered into the kitchen in the frosty light of the new day, Sullyan and Robin were already seated at the large wooden table, mugs of fellan before them.
Sullyan was oiling her sword blade while talking quietly to the tall, handsome Captain by her side. Rienne glanced at them, and her morning greeting remained unsaid as she took in the relaxed attitude of their bodies so close together, the slight pink flush on the Major’s cheek, and the way their eyes shone when they met.
Sullyan looked up to greet her and Rienne watched her eyes narrow in suspicion as she registered the broad, knowing grin that Rienne failed to hide.
With the merest hint of suggestion, Rienne said, “I trust you both, um, slept well?”
As she picked up two mugs of fellan, eager to tell Cal the news, she saw Sullyan trade a glance with Robin. To her amazement, a shy grin appeared on the Captain’s face.
Bull came in then and walked straight up to the pair at the table. He slapped Robin roundly on the back and gave the startled Major an enormous bear hug. Rienne could see unshed tears standing in his eyes and presumed that his close bond with Sullyan had allowed him to sense what had happened.
Sullyan scowled at him. “Does everyone know our private business?”
Her voice was hard, but Rienne noted the slight curve to her lips.
Bull casually helped himself to fellan. “Only those of us who care about you.”
Snorting in disgust, Sullyan took her gleaming sword back into her room.
Once breakfast was out of the way, there was no avoiding the inevitable painful farewells. Packs were gathered and horses saddled. They moved out into the brittle morning that at any oth
er time would have dazzled with its beauty. A thick frost lay over everything and myriad crystals sparkled in the winter sun. The horses’ breath plumed in the frozen air.
Marik had made only the briefest of farewells. Wisely deciding his presence would not be required, he had taken himself off to visit old Harva. Robin and Sullyan walked beside Rienne and her friends as they led their horses out into the sunshine. They fussed around, securing packs and adjusting girth straps, until the atmosphere became strained.
Suddenly, Sullyan could stand it no longer.
“It is time,” she announced. “Bull must report to the General as soon as possible.”
Turning to Cal, who stood nearest, she took up one of his hands. “I thank you for your friendship and help over these past weeks. Be sure to take extra care of your lady, there. Rienne is a very special person and has become very dear to me.”
“Of course I will,” mumbled Cal.
Sullyan embraced him, surprising him with a kiss on the cheek. She turned to Taran, who was standing behind his Apprentice. He came forward and placed both hands on Sullyan’s shoulders before she could speak.
“I have to thank you for last night,” he said, a catch in his voice. “If not for you, I’d still be floundering around in my own self-pity. You’ve given me direction and more knowledge than I ever thought I’d have. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, you only have to ask.” Going down on one knee before her, he once more made the brow-lips-heart salute due to a Master-elite.
Her eyes were damp as she raised him. “What you can do for me now, Taran, is continue to fulfill your potential. You have the capacity to become Master at least if you are willing to strive for it. Your father would be very proud of what you have achieved. Whatever you decide about your future, know that Robin and Bull will always be ready to help and guide you. Keep in touch with them and share your strengths. You need never be so alone again.”
She embraced him too and kissed him, and then turned quickly away so he wouldn’t see the moisture in her eyes.
Rienne was next, and the two women stood for long moments just looking at each other, tears making tracks down their faces. Then they fell into each other’s arms.
“I owe you far too much for thanks, Rienne,” murmured Sullyan. “But you were right about not letting happiness go by, and for that alone I’ll always remember you. Will you do me one last favor?”
Rienne nodded, too choked for speech.
“Will you look after my harp and guitar for me? I would hate to think they might never be played again, but with you they will always have an echo of that evening we shared. I wish ….” She couldn’t finish and had to push herself away from the heartbroken healer, leaving Cal to try and comfort Rienne.
Coming over to Bull, she managed to regain some composure. She took a deep breath and looked up into his brown eyes as he towered over her.
“You already know what I need you to do to tidy up my affairs,” she said, “but there are two other favors I would ask of you.” Bull raised his brows. They had already spoken of what he was to do back at the Manor. “The first,” she said, “is to ask the General to lend me Drum. I will need his battle skills to help me accomplish what I intend. I will have him returned when my need is over.”
Bull nodded, and Rienne knew that if he had his way, the General would never learn of this request.
“And the second is this.”
Reaching to the double thunderflash rank insignia gleaming above her left breast, Sullyan unclasped it and held it in her hand a moment. Then she thrust it toward Bull. Rienne heard Robin gasp, but the big man made no move to take it. Muscles along Sullyan’s jaw jumped with strain as she grasped Bull’s right hand. She placed the badge in his palm and firmly closed his fingers over it. His eyes were wide with shock and he shook his head in denial.
Sullyan’s voice was hoarse as she said, “Give this to General Blaine and explain for me, Bull. I would go myself, but you know I cannot. He will understand.”
Finding his voice, Bull said, “Sully, no!” but she stepped away and refused to meet his gaze.
“Go now,” she said, a catch in her voice. “Go quickly, Bull.”
There was nothing more to be said. They mounted up in the brittle sunlight, the icy cold catching their throats and stinging their eyes. As she turned the corner of the mansion, Rienne risked one final backward glance. Her last sight was of the two of them standing together, Robin’s strong arm around Sullyan’s shoulders, the sun tinting her glorious hair with russet sparks. Her hand was raised in farewell.
It was a long time before anyone spoke. They each rode absorbed in their own thoughts, some with tears still wet on their cheeks. Bull’s hand was clasped tightly about the gold badge in his palm, as if desperately holding on to the warmth from Sullyan’s body. Abruptly, he spurred his horse into a wild gallop, trying to outrun his grief and fear. Rienne and the others followed, but in the end it didn’t help.
+ + + + +
Sullyan watched them go, holding tightly to Robin for comfort. It was also for support, although she was valiantly trying to hide from her lover what she had managed to hide from Rienne. The pain of the poison inside her was growing worse.
The distress of watching her friends depart had weakened her and she couldn’t conceal a sudden, agonizing pang. Robin had to help her back into the warmth of the kitchen. Once more, she turned her powers over to him. With her direction, he managed to repair the breach that had allowed the poison to surface. In the process, Robin felt her growing desperation that she wouldn’t be granted the time she needed to implement her plan against Rykan. He tried, but there was nothing he could say to reassure her.
They spent the morning resting and loving, not speaking much, just taking comfort from each other’s presence. Sullyan knew Robin was painfully aware that this was their last full day together. Bull would return sometime late the next day, and it was inevitable that Blaine would order Robin back to the Manor. Sullyan had deliberately made it impossible for him to follow his instincts and disobey the General, and she knew he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her again.
For her part, Sullyan’s heart was heavy. The knowledge that she would lose Robin just when they had discovered the depths of their love was a tragedy too painful to dwell on. So, after a light noon meal which improved her strength, she again asked her Captain to fence with her, taking refuge as she often did in the physical skills of her profession.
Robin recognized her need and raised no objections. He was happy to indulge in any activity that reaffirmed their awareness of each other, although he was obviously concerned for her lack of strength. Yet her skill with a sword was so great that it was Robin who had to call on his greater physical strength in order to avoid her swift and agile attacks. What she lacked in muscle and stature, she more than made up for in speed and cunning. She had been well taught from the beginning by Master Ardoch, the King’s legendary swordmaster, and her supple musician’s fingers gave her great control over the handling of her sword. Both of them were soon thoroughly enjoying their practice bout, and the afternoon slipped away.
They were still at it when the Count returned. Seeing him, Sullyan ended her bout with Robin by putting her sword to the salute. She couldn’t suppress a measure of surprise that Marik had decided to throw in his lot with her after all. His going off alone hadn’t concerned her—he didn’t want to end up Rykan’s captive again any more than she did—but she had wondered whether he might prefer to disappear, to take his chances somewhere else.
She smiled as he approached, and he gave her a challenging stare. “So, you did think I might not return.”
She stared him down and he flushed. “It crossed my mind, Ty. I confess I am glad to see you safely back.”
“Where else would I go? I might just as well go along with your plans, although how you’re going to convince the Hierarch to accept me, I can’t think.”
Shaking her head at his gloomy tone, Sullyan took his arm and drew
him into the kitchen. “How was Harva?”
He accepted the change of subject gladly and launched into all the things he had promised the old woman to tell her.
The evening passed quietly. Once they had eaten and exhausted what little conversation they felt like making, they lapsed into silence. Marik went out to tend the horses and came back shaking a dusting of snow from his shoulders. Sullyan hoped it wouldn’t snow too much, as a heavy fall might delay them on the four-day journey to Caer Vellet.
The Count retired early again, diplomatically leaving the two lovers to spend as much time alone as they could. Sullyan appreciated his thoughtfulness, although it pained her to remember why it was necessary.
Once more, Robin tried to coax her into allowing him to stay with her, but she was adamant he must obey the General’s orders, whatever they were. Reluctant to vex her on this last evening together, he desisted, and they retired to the simple little room that had become the focus of their love.
Their union that night was sweeter and more poignant than ever, minds linked as closely as bodies. Robin had a couple of brief affairs before meeting Sullyan two years ago, but apart from her brutal initiation by Rykan, Sullyan had never known a man’s touch. Robin found her a quick and imaginative learner, as she was in all things, but the one new thing she brought him was the depth and strength of her power.
He had never made love to anyone gifted and had no idea how the power could intensify the pleasure they experienced in each other. It also prolonged their physical endurance, but as they lay entwined together afterward, breathless and utterly spent, he wryly reflected that all power must be paid for. Their sleep that night was deep and profound.
She tried so hard not to disturb him, but in the end, the pain was too much. Her cry in the cold pre-dawn startled him awake. She was kneeling on the floor by the bed, arms wrapped tightly round her belly, a small patch of bloody vomit on the floor. Instantly he was beside her, holding her while the spasm of trembling passed. Then he fetched a damp cloth from the kitchen and wiped the bloody froth from her lips. She allowed him to help her back into bed and then lay there panting, watching the fear in his eyes.