“Ems, it’s so great to see you. You never come to these things.”
Emily felt the familiar arms pull her close in a friendly hug, felt the lips brush her cheek. Amanda had always been the exceedingly affectionate type. Emily didn’t take it personally because Amanda was the same with all her friends. And her exes.
“Good to see you, too,” she lied. “Here with the girls?”
Emily had lost all their friends in the separation, because of her work and because they’d been Amanda’s friends to begin with. All except Joanna, probably because she was so settled and not really an activist. But mostly because she really didn’t like Amanda all that much.
Amanda was regarding Lana inquiringly, and Emily quickly introduced them. “Amanda, this is Lana,” she said. “Lana, this is Amanda, my—uh, friend.”
“Ex.” Amanda corrected her absently, nodding at Lana in greeting. She glanced at Emily, a sort of perplexed expression in her eyes, as if wondering how Emily could have snagged anyone so attractive. Emily felt her back teeth start to grind and forced herself to stop.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Amanda,” Lana said smoothly. She gestured at the chair on her left. “Join us for a drink?”
“Oh, I can’t, thanks,” Amanda said. “I’m here with friends.”
She gestured toward the other table where the other five women waited. A few of them nodded at Emily or lifted their hands in a half wave of acknowledgment. Emily’s shoulders tightened. She never knew what to do in these kinds of situations, to know what the etiquette was or how to manage the carefree sophistication that others did. She was just awkward and sad, not regretful of a heart offered and rejected exactly, but still conscious of the lingering hurt over a love that hadn’t worked out.
“Did you come down for the whole weekend?” Amanda asked.
“Not really,” Emily said honestly. “We just happened to be in the area.”
Amanda, glancing back and forth between Emily and Lana, smiled. “Oh, okay. Well, it was great seeing you again. Nice to meet you, Lana.”
As she headed back to her table, Emily was conscious of Lana’s speculative gaze as she resumed her seat. “So, your ex?” she prompted archly.
“Yeah, okay,” Emily said, taking a long swallow from her beer. “Nothing to see here. Move along.”
Lana laughed. “No, I’m fascinated. You never once mentioned her during our lunches together. Bad breakup?”
“No, just one of those things.” Emily poked at her salad with a bit more force than she intended, sending a piece of chicken over the side of the bowl and off the table. “Shit.”
“Oh, now I know there’s a story there,” Lana said. “C’mon, give it up. You know all about me and Sarah.”
“Actually, I know very little about you and Sarah, outside of what you were going through at the time,” Emily reminded her. She could have kicked herself when she saw the shadow flit across Lana’s eyes. Quickly, she pulled the conversation back to her, as much as she didn’t like talking about it. “Amanda is really social,” she explained, feeling a bit vulnerable as she opened up. “She liked to go out all the time. I didn’t mind so much because I was working, and it wasn’t like I expected her to stay home and wait for me or anything. It’s just that I’m more of an outdoor, tomboy type, whereas she’s really into things like this weekend. In fact, she probably helped organize it. She’s involved in the community and very active when it comes to all the issues, fighting for our rights, here and in other countries.”
“And you’re not?”
“I do what I can, but as a Mountie, there are certain things I have to stay—uh, separate from, so I can do my job. And incessant meetings bore the hell out of me.”
“That was a bone of contention?”
“Among other things,” Emily said. “She also worried about me a lot, especially whenever she heard of a police officer being killed or harmed in the line of duty. She didn’t understand that those are the rare exceptions rather than the rule when it comes to my job.”
“But it only takes the one exception,” Lana pointed out. “Wrong place, wrong time.”
“I know, but that’s true of everyone,” Emily said. “After all, I’m not the one who braved flooding to rescue some American, and I’m not the one who decided to hare off on some treasure hunt with a complete stranger, who also might have a couple of thugs after her.”
Lana laughed. “There is that.” She glanced over her shoulder, taking a longer look in Amanda’s direction. “Still, it is interesting when meeting exes. It gives an insight into the sort of woman you’re attracted to. How long were you together?”
“Two and a half years,” Emily said.
“Live together?”
“For two years, in my apartment.” Emily toyed with her salad. “Amanda didn’t like that, either. She kept trying to get us to move, but I liked being in the downtown. It’s convenient to everything, especially work.”
“That practical side again,” Lana noted. “So you wouldn’t like living out where I am.”
Emily smiled. “Your cabin is lovely,” she said diplomatically. “I love your view.”
Lana’s dark eyes danced as they peered at her over her glass as she took a long sip of her white wine. “And what finally broke you up?”
Emily inclined her head in the direction of Amanda’s table. “See the woman on her left, the brunette with the short hair?”
Lana smoothly dropped her knife on the floor and picked it up, taking a discreet look under her arm as she did. “Uh-huh.”
Emily was impressed. “That was nicely done.”
“I try,” Lana said modestly.
Beautiful and capable, Emily thought. God, I am in such trouble.
“Anyway, Beth’s her oldest friend, and when I say friend, I mean she would like to be a lot more and sticks with Amanda through every girlfriend, with the intention, I suppose, of picking up the pieces when it doesn’t work out, as it often doesn’t.”
“Uh-huh, and did she contribute to those breakups?”
“As much as she could,” Emily said. “Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t work out because Amanda and I were too different from the very beginning, but Beth constantly hanging around didn’t help. Personally, I think Amanda should just sleep with her and get it out of the equation so they can either get together or move on. But I wonder if the only reason Amanda stays friends with her is that she likes having a perfect backup plan in the event she ends up alone.” She winced, wondering if that was the role she’d been playing with Lana, hoping she would finally get over Sarah and see her as more than a lunch companion. In that moment, for the very first time, she felt an unexpected sympathy for Beth, something Emily never thought she’d feel. “Sorry. I’m being a complete bitch.”
“No you’re not,” Lana said, understanding in her tone. “Clearly, the breakup hurt, so it makes sense that you still have a little resentment over it. But if you and Amanda were so different, why’d you get together in the first place?”
Emily sighed. “Chemistry, I suppose,” she admitted. “I thought she was hot. She thought I was hot. It was like an explosion when we got together. Then it eventually wore off and we realized we didn’t have much in common.”
“It took two and half years to figure that out?”
“Oh, probably a year and a half to wear off,” Emily said. “And a year of trying to make it work before we finally gave up.” She shook her head. “Taught me a lesson about moving slow before taking the big leap.”
“Are we moving slow?” Lana sounded honestly curious.
“We’ve been meeting at the diner for three years,” Emily pointed out. “That’s longer than Amanda and I were together.”
“Really?” Lana blinked. “You haven’t been with anyone in all that time?”
Emily shrugged. “Never met anyone I wanted to be with.”
“But you could’ve,” Lana told her, sounding puzzled. “You’re gorgeous.”
Emily was positive she
was bright red at this point and profoundly glad the lighting in the bar was low. “Uh, thank you,” she managed to say.
“I mean, you must have women going after you all the time just because of the uniform,” Lana added. “You look really good in it, especially with the hat and the belt.”
“Now you’re just making fun.”
“No, I assure you, you look great.” Lana put her hand on Emily’s knee, squeezing lightly. As she lowered her head, her expression grew more intent. “In fact, that was the reason I accepted all those invitations to eat. Even at my lowest, I could always appreciate how you looked in uniform. And honestly, you made me feel safe at a time when my whole world was ending.”
Emily inhaled slowly, trying not to shiver from the sensation of Lana’s hand on her leg. “I’m glad I could offer something.” She closed the distance between them a little. “But I don’t want you to feel safe now.”
Lana’s teeth were very white as she smiled. “Oh, believe me, I don’t. Not in the slightest.” She lifted her head as she heard the music alter below. “Now we have to dance to this.”
Emily laughed. “Lead the way.”
They spent the rest of the evening on the dance floor, even for the slow ones, which was a bit excruciating for Emily, holding Lana so close, smelling her perfume and the warm, natural scent of her, her body so soft and yielding against her.
“Are you playing with me?” she asked at one point, seeking out Lana’s eyes. Bringing her hand up to brush Lana’s hair from her cheek, she felt her heart catch as she waited for the answer. She’d intended the question to be more lighthearted than it was and hoped her voice reflected it even if the feeling in the pit of her stomach didn’t.
Lana, hands linked behind Emily’s neck as they swayed together, shook her head, her face serious. “No,” she said, her voice soft but very sincere. “I’m definitely not playing with you, Emily. But I’m not totally back in the game, either.”
“Fair enough.” Emily wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there, but she resisted. Instead, she pulled Lana closer, feeling incredibly tender as Lana rested her head on her shoulder, snuggled up against her as they danced. In a way this was better, more intimate than a kiss. Lana was dancing with her because she wanted to be, not because Emily happened to be there. Heaven knew, there were plenty enough other women in the Warehouse who’d be glad to take a turn, judging from the looks directed Lana’s way.
They made the drive back to the motel after the dance in a comfortable silence, Lana sitting beside her with a sort of half-smile on her face, as if remembering how rewarding the simple pleasure of a date could be. After parking the car in front of her unit, Emily started to go around the car to open her door, but Lana was ahead of her and they met at the hood.
“I had a really great time,” Lana told her. She took Emily’s arm, moving closer to her. “You’re a wonderful dancer.”
“You are, too,” Emily said. She was conscious of her nearness and thankful they had several layers of winter jackets and sweaters between them, Otherwise, she suspected their hands would be all over each other. As it was, she contented herself with taking Lana’s gloved fingers into her own, squeezing lightly. “We’ll have to do this again, sometime.”
“Soon,” Lana agreed. “I like being with you, Emily. I like how it makes me feel. I like how it makes me want things again.” She lowered her voice. “I like how it makes me want you.”
“And it only took three years,” Emily said dryly.
Lana laughed, a wonderfully husky laugh, deep in her throat, sending a jolting arc of sensation directly from Emily’s heart to her center. Moistening her lips, she leaned forward, elated when Lana tilted her head slightly to the side, lips parting, inviting her in. After such a long time imagining it, she needed to know how Lana really tasted, how it would feel to finally kiss her.
A jarring and most unwelcome voice at precisely the wrong time caught Emily off guard, and she jerked back, startled, mere millimeters short of her goal.
“Hey, y’all. How was dinner?”
Chapter Seventeen
The sound of a car door shutting just outside the motel door made Michelle lift her head from the computer screen. A quick glance at the time in the menu bar let her know it was probably Lana and Emily back from their date, though whether they were calling it that or not remained to be seen. She got up from the table and went over to the window, peering through the blinds to see Lana and Emily lingering by the hood of the red Challenger, standing close and talking as if reluctant to end the evening. They kept touching each other, despite the obvious barrier of their winter clothing, Lana’s hand on Emily’s arm, Emily holding Lana’s gloved hand, both leaning so close into each other the white clouds from their breaths condensed in the air around them. Michelle felt a pang of envy, or perhaps it was just longing to be like them, these hearty, unfathomable women who liked to make out in frigid winter as if they were on Bourbon Street and it was 85 degrees.
Michelle went over to the door and opened it, watching as Lana laughed at something Emily said, a low, smoky laugh full of promise. Emily seemed to take that as an invitation and leaned forward, her lips mere inches from Lana’s, who didn’t seem inclined to pull back.
“Hey, y’all,” Michelle said cheerfully and loudly. “How was dinner?”
Emily jerked back comically, and even Lana appeared a bit startled. Michelle stifled a laugh, leaning casually against the doorframe as if completely unaware what was in progress. Though for all she knew, they could have been parked somewhere else fucking their brains out before coming back to the motel. But from the expression of deep disappointment in Emily’s eyes, along with a darkening anger, Michelle didn’t think so.
After all, she knew full well how satisfying Lana could be. Otherwise, Emily wouldn’t be nearly as frustrated as she so apparently was. No, what Michelle had interrupted had “first kiss” potential written all over it. What a shame.
“I think I’ve pinpointed where Father Beauséjour took the cross,” Michelle said as the two women came over to her, and they all went into Emily’s room, shutting out the damp air. “How long does it take to get to Cheticamp from here?”
“A few hours,” Emily said shortly. “We’re not going to do it tonight. We’ll leave after breakfast tomorrow. We can cut through Rawdon, drop off Lana’s Jeep, and get on the highway in Truro.”
Michelle wasn’t sure she liked Emily suddenly being in charge of their travel arrangements, but since she didn’t have a vehicle, she didn’t have much say. She forced a smile and moved closer to Lana.
“It sounds like a plan.” Leaning against Lana’s side with intimate familiarity, she slipped an arm around her waist and peered up into her face, smiling winsomely. “Ready to turn in?”
Lana looked a bit uneasy and glanced at Emily, who smiled unpleasantly at Michelle. “Actually, I think you should stay in my room, tonight, Michelle,” Emily said. “That way, Lana can get some sleep.”
“Oh.” Michelle straightened and pulled away from Lana, dropping her arm. “So you and Lana are taking her room? Is that how it is now?”
“No. I’m staying here with you,” Emily told her in that calm, even, officious tone. “We’ll each take a bed.”
“What? Why?”
“I just want to keep an eye on you,” Emily said. “Keep you from temptation.”
“What kind of temptation?” Michelle demanded, baffled.
“All kinds.” Emily glanced at Lana and her face softened perceptibly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Lana, who’d been taking this all in with a slight smile, nodded briefly. “All right. We’ll meet for breakfast?”
Michelle protested. “What about my stuff?”
“I’ll bring it over,” Lana told her. “It won’t take long.”
Feeling as if she was being outmaneuvered, which she didn’t like at all, Michelle plopped down in the armchair and began to shut down the laptop. A few minutes later there was a soft knoc
k that Emily answered, accepted the small duffle bag from Lana, said a couple of things Michelle couldn’t quite hear, only that Lana found them amusing according to her soft laugh, and then shut the door.
Tossing the bag on the bed farthest from the bathroom, Emily shrugged out of her leather jacket. “Do you want the bathroom first?”
“Thank you,” Michelle said coldly, retrieving her bag, where she dug out the toothbrush and the oversized T-shirt she’d been using for her nightdress. It was the same one Lana had worn their first night together, the one Michelle had worn downstairs to confound Emily, and still smelled like Lana, a slight floral scent, like lilacs, but not quite. More evocative.
As she brushed her teeth, she assessed these new circumstances. Obviously, she wasn’t about to get close to Lana again, not as long as Emily was around. She felt a regretful twinge in her loins. She was here for the cross, of course, but making love to a beautiful woman while pursuing it would have been a lot more fun. Still, it was clear which way the wind was blowing as far as Emily and Lana were concerned, so it was prudent that she stay out of the middle of it.
Outside of needling Emily about it, of course. She could always find some fun, no matter what the circumstances.
They checked out the next morning right after breakfast, Lana driving her Jeep and Michelle stuffed into the passenger seat of the Challenger. Emily didn’t seem particularly open to conversation, answering Michelle’s varied attempts with monosyllabic responses and the occasional disdainful glance sideways until Michelle finally gave up. It proved a long, sullen trip to Lana’s cabin, and Michelle was relieved when she was dispatched to the small backseat of Emily’s sports coupe while Lana took her spot up front.
Michelle didn’t know how appealing Nova Scotia was in the summer months, but in the winter months, with the rainy, gray weather, it was excruciatingly dull. Especially once they left the back roads outside Truro and switched to the Trans-Canada, which, from what Michelle could tell, was cut straight through the woods, separate and distinct from most of the communities they passed, noted only as names on green signs along the way.
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