by Martha Long
‘I had gone inta hiding from the Black and Tans. Nineteen twenty it was, the Black and Tans were all over this place looking for the rebels that blew up them an their barracks. We used to drop grenades from the top of buildings and outa windas, catching them as they flew past in their open lorries! Bejaysus! They didn’t do that for long!
‘Anyway, I was now a wanted man, I had a price on me head and there were plenty of takers. Informers were shot, but it didn’t stop people. If poverty didn’t get you first, people would risk their neck for a penny ha’penny! Never mind the hundred quid to be paid for the capture of my skin! My Marie was a fierce and pro tective woman. She would slit your throat as quick as look at you if you dared threaten, or put in fear them that she kept wrapped around and close to her heart. For all else, she was gentle as a lamb. Every night this house was raided, every morning Marie would wake up early and start the day putting back the home to rights, trying to salvage what she could out of the broken furniture and smashed dishes. Then the whole thing would start again that night when the Black and Tans would smash down the door and tear into the house ransacking and destroying, turning to smithereens everything they laid hand on.
‘One night they went too far. A young brute of a fella grabbed hold of my Delia crying in the bed after being shocked outa her sleep. The poor child didn’t know where she was. The next thing she knew, she was flying through the air an knocked senseless against a heavy wardrobe leaving her lying half dead. Marie picked up the poker from the fire grate in the bedroom and downed your man, knocking him inta the next week. The last thing she ever knew … was when another cowardly bastard pointed a gun and shot her stone cold dead. In the back a the head she got it! That was it! From that night on, Delia Mullins was moved in with the Foleys. Emmeline Foley your great-grandmother reared her and your mother, Mary, together. And the sad coincidence is, Delia was only the same age you are now, Lily! Seven year old! So! Life has a terrible way of repeating itself. Delia is now going to step into Mary’s shoes and take over.’
‘She is? Wha, become our mammy?’ whispered Ceily, lookin like she can hardly get a breath wit the shock at hearin all this.
‘Yes, she’s going to move into your house and look after youse! So, as I said, there’s no need for you two te be worrying yerselves unnecessarily. We can’t bring your mother back, but by God! We can do everything else in our power to take good care of you, as if you were one of our own, but sure ye might as well be.’
Then he stared inta nothin an sighed in a deep breath, sayin, ‘OK, I better move, but you can keep an ear out for the paper deliveries. They’ll be dropped at the side door, when that happens, open it quickly and drag them in. Then you can sort them out and leave them on the counter, other than that, keep your head down.’
Ceily nodded watchin an listenin, takin in every word he was sayin. She looked serious an very worried like she was really afraid, but then tightened her jaw because you’re not wanted te see it.
‘Try not to worry yourself,’ he said, seein her worry but he havin te get a move on. ‘Bye, see ye later,’ he said, lookin te Ceily an givin me a wave. Then he was gone.
I watched the empty space, hearin the door shut wit a bang, makin an awful breeze. Wit tha, the sudden draught blew a puff of black smoke straight inta the room leavin soot, then up me nostrils it went an down me neck poisonin me. ‘EH HUH,’ I coughed, givin a big bark wit me tongue hangin out, tryin te get rid of it.
‘CUT THA OUT!’ Ceily roared, whippin her head around the scullery door te me, lookin the image of a lunatic. Her eyes was all red an black an her brown bangles was all matted standin around her head.
Gawd, she looks like one a them monsters ye see at the fillums! I hope she doesn’t go mad an kill me! You never know, me mammy used te say all sorts a people was locked up, an not all a them mad neither. I moved outa harm’s way, an sat meself over by the smoky fire an picked up me comic. But then thought better an put it back down again, not wantin te turn me back on Ceily. Tha one can be very vicious when she gets goin. Mammy used te say if she didn’t control tha temper a hers, she could find herself locked up! I would a been safer wit Mister Mullins, pity he didn’t take me wit him.
Yeah, I would a lovin tha, maybe even school would a been better than this, an I hate school I do. I hate tha aul Sister Mary Agony, because she hates me she does. Ever since she caught me eatin the apple in the chapel when we were waitin te go inta the confession box te practise fer our first Holy Communion. I got thrun out before I could even get near the box! I missed it all I did! The unfairness, I’m still ragin thinkin about it. The rest were all braggin about how they got te tell their sins te the priest an now they was all big! Because you can only do tha when ye’re on your way te bein a big young one. I was ragin, an Mammy gave me another wallop when I got home an told her nothin had happened. ‘I didn’t get te do me confession, an tha’s not all of it! No, Mammy, wait till ye hear!’ I told her. The apple tha she gave me was robbed be the nun, an I only gor a few bites took of it!
I thought she’d be ragin. She was, but not wit the nun! ‘I gor another wallop fer tha one!’ I sniffed, thinkin back an gettin the memory of it.
10
I WOKE UP wit an awful shock, wonderin wha was happenin, where was I? I looked around the strange room tryin te remember where this is. I knew it wasn’t me own house, every-thin was different, even the smell. The room was lovely an warm an the fire was roarin red, wit the red-hot coals an the flames lickin up the chimney. The lamp wasn’t lit yet, so it was dark in all the corners, yet the room was come te life wit shadows dancin up an down the wallpaper all thrown out by the light from the fire.
Oh now I know where this is! Then I remembered it all. I’m wit Mister Mullins in his house, an Ceily is too! I must a fallen asleep, but it’s dark out, I thought, lookin over te the winda wit the backyard, seein it pitch black. Where’s everyone? Where’s my Ceily?
I looked across, seein the chair on the other side of the fireplace empty. The table was bare since the dinner hour, so no one is gettin the tea ready. I’m starvin wit the hunger!
I got up an opened the door out te the shop, seein it was pitch black, it had only the street lamps shinin a bit of light inta the front a the shop winda. I stared, hopin somethin would happen, someone would appear. No, nothin, nobody here! Wha am I goin te do? Why have they left me all on me own?
I shut the door an rushed te open the other one leadin te the hall an side door. I stared there too, lookin inta the pitch-black hall wit only a slice of light comin in through the skylight over the door. I could barely make out the stairs goin up te the bedrooms, but I’m not goin up there! The bogey man is sure te be there waitin te get his hands on me! Tha’s wha everyone tells me, even Mammy! Because I’m always very bold, they say.
I shut the door fast, lookin te see if there was a key in the hole so I could lock him out. No! I’m at the mercy of all the monsters waitin out there in the dark, if they know I’m here on me own they’re goin te come in an get me!
Then I heard somethin, a rattle in the hall. I sucked in me breath an held it listenin, the lock squeaked an the door pushed open. Me heart jumped wit delight! They’re back!
I went te rush, then stopped, just in case it’s not them. I stood starin, waitin fer the parlour door te open then watched as Mister Mullins came slowly in lookin like a very old man wit a bad stoop in his back. I stared, wit me mouth open seein him makin his way inta the room, then stagger over te hold onta the windasill an look out at the backyard. I looked around te see where Ceily was, but nobody came through the open door an it was now very quiet wit the hall door shut.
Wha’s happenin? Why’s he like this? He didn’t take his hat or coat off an he now home in the house, an his skin was gone grey it was turned tha white, an the rest of it turned purple around his mouth.
I went out te look in the hall anyway, but it was still pitch-black an now still no sign a Ceily. Then it hit me. She’s asleep up in the bed! I need a candle te go up
there. There’s no oil lamp lit.
‘Ceily!’ I whispered, hopin she’d hear me an the monsters wouldn’t.
I moved further out te the dark hall an stopped. ‘Ceily!’ I shouted gettin a bit annoyed.
I listened, hearin nothin. I made me way back inta Mister Mullins but he was still leanin on the sill an starin out at nothin, it was too dark te see anythin. Tut! Wha’s wrong wit him? Where’s tha Ceily one? I was nearly cryin now wit the rage comin on me!
Tha’s it! I marched out an felt me way along the wall then up the stairs holdin onta the banisters not carin about no monsters.
‘Ceily!’ I shouted tryin te hurry meself. Still no answer! She’s here, I know she is, I’m goin te ate the head offa her! The cheek a her takin her ease all this day long leavin me te look out fer meself. ‘Mammy would kill her fer doin this!’ I snorted, slappin me way to the bedroom ready te roar the head offa her.
I made fer the bed I’d slept in an looked an felt me way all round – no sign!
‘Where are you, Ceily?’ I keened, wantin te scream now wit the fright. She can’t be gone. Tha’s stupid. Maybe she’s somewhere in another room.
I rushed out an hurried up the the rest a the stairs holdin onta the wall makin me way blind then opened a door on the landin an felt me way in. Light was comin from the street lamp at the front a the house an I could see the big bed was empty – no one here.
I looked around seein the brown wardrobe, the dressin table an the chair by the bed wit women’s clothes folded on the back, the room smelled a mothballs an lavender, this must be Delia’s room. No Ceily here. No Mammy. An I got no one te mind me. Should I be annoyed – ragin or cryin?
I thought about this, yeah, this is very annoyin. Wha’s everybody up to? Ah, here’s another door, she must be in there!
I rushed out an turned the doorknob hurryin in. Empty! This was a man’s room. I could see the trousers, shirt an vest lyin on the chair beside the bed, an still no Ceily. This is Mister Mullins’ room.
She’s gone! Ceily left me! I turned an hurried back down the stairs hangin onta the banisters tryin not te plunge meself down onta the dark hall. I hurried back inta the sittin room seein Mister Mullins look around at me an stare, like he was tryin te work out wha I was doin here.
I stopped dead an stared back, afraid te open me mouth.
‘Are ye all right, child?’ he said, then forgot all about me an turned te stare at the fire beginnin te go low now wit the coal nearly all burned out.
I stayed without movin fer a long time, feelin me legs get pained, an it got darker an quieter but nothin happened an nobody moved. The clock ticked away the time hour after hour an still we stood. Finally I shifted, I moved over te the table an stood there hopin somethin would happen. Mister Mullins didn’t move, he just kept starin an I knew it was now the middle a the night. I’m cold an tired now, I feel stiff, an the hunger is draggin me belly down. But I’m afraid te move an afraid te talk. Somethin very bad has happened an I know Ceily is not comin back. Tha’s why I don’t want te know, an I don’t care about the cold an the hunger pain in me belly, because I don’t want te eat no more.
11
I LEAPT UP givin a scream. ‘Help! Save me!’ Then looked seein I was standin in the middle a the room. Wha happened? Me heart pounded, but nothin was goin on, it was quiet an everythin was still. I looked around tryin te get me senses. The light was comin through the yard winda an Mister Mullins was gone. I looked over te the armchair. I must a fallen asleep an slept in tha all night.
Suddenly a big noise hit the house an me heart crossed again then leapt, landin itself in me mouth. I dived under the table as the hall door smashed in against the wall, then I heard voices an loud gruntin. It’s the robbers! Or might even be the policemen lookin te arrest me! Or worse then worser! It could be Father Flitters wit his cruelty people, it’s like Mister Mullins said, he’s come now te take his vengeance on me an Ceily, an tha’s because we bested him! Or wha about the animal gang? Them’s terrible killers! Everyone says no one’s safe from them!
The shock took the legs from under me makin them shake like jelly, an I started te shiver all over. I held meself waitin te see who or wha was goin te come through the door, an I readied meself te run. I breathed down through me nose makin meself go still inside, then gave a quick look around te see where te run or hide. Me head flew thinkin, out the back door an down the lane, or stay here under this table? The cloth will hide me. I listened hearin the voices.
‘Are ye right?’
‘Yeah grand, now grab up your end.’
Tha’s two men I nodded te meself, suckin on me thumb wit me ears open an me eyes starin. I was watchin the door, listenin. I’m wantin te be wide awake now, like I was told te do by Ceily.
‘Wait! Let’s see first where we go. Inta the parlour?’
‘No! It would be more better if we get upstairs.’
‘Wait! Where’s himself? He’s over there talkin te Birdie Brain.’
‘Mister Mullins! Where do ye want this?’
‘HERE, WAIT!’ a woman shouted. ‘Go back out an give us room, we’ll sort out youse men.’
I stopped suckin an pulled me thumb out thinkin wit a sudden shock, it’s them women again! They’ve come back te get us! They probably think we started the killins yesterday.
I breathed fast moanin out a long keen, ‘Nooooo, don’t let them get me!’ Snots started teemin down me nose, gettin flushed wit me heavy breathin. I wiped them away wit the back a me hand, then saw it was all wet an sticky. I licked it fast te clean it, then went back te me keenin.
‘Someone save me. Ohhhh I don’t want te be kilt,’ I moaned, makin it into a song wit me whole body rattlin an me head shakin up an down. ‘Loads a peoples are at the door, we’re not supposed te be lettin anyone see us. Mister Mullins said tha, he warned! Wha’s happenin? Why they all here?’
I heard feet hammerin along the hall an suddenly the door pushed open. Me eyes shot te the pair a black boots then up te the long grey skirt, then came another pair a boots marchin in behind, wit the two wearin nearly matchin white aprons. An I could see the hem of a black shawl on the pair a them.
‘Bring it in here! Come on!’ they said, whippin open the door wide fer somebody.
‘Where? This is heavy, missus!’ a man moaned.
‘Don’t know, where do you think, Essie?’
‘I don’t know neither,’ moaned Essie.
Then two pair a men’s boots turned an staggered around the room at the same time, tryin te see where’s best.
‘Here, Banjo! Let’s leave it down here easy while them women are makin their mind up.’
‘We have te go, missus! Have youse decided yet?’
‘No! Hold yer patience, you’re too well fed, tha’s wha’s wrong wit you men today! There’s nothin te be had outa ye’s by way of heavy work!’
‘Hang on, missus! Wha do ye think we are? Bleedin Samson?’
‘None a tha disgustin talk here! An further, youse are gettin paid fer it, an good money at tha!’
‘Wait! Grab the stuff offa tha table, Nellie. We’ll put the Delft in the scullery.’
‘No! Why don’t we put tha in the scullery, then we can work in there?’
‘But how are we goin—’
‘Come on, Banjo, enough is enough, land it down there over in the corner.’
‘Right you are, Mousey,’ said Banjo, an landed a lovely shiny brown wooden box down wit brass handles, then they dived on their hunkers an started te work on it.
I pulled the cloth back but feet moved all around it, an now I could get te see nothin.
‘Where are youse?’ said Mister Mullins comin through the hall wit more people walkin behind.
‘Here we are,’ said the men wit the box.
I inched meself out pullin away the cloth an liftin me head from under the table.
‘What are ye’s doin? Take her upstairs!’
‘Wha?’ said Mousey lookin confused, holdin a screwdriver up to his head, s
cratchin it.
‘Ah yeah,’ said Nellie. ‘Didn’t I tell youse tha? Wouldn’t listen te me, Mister Mullins. Wanted it all their own way!’
I stared, gettin the fright a me life seein the body in the box, it was a coffin!
‘Get my Delia up offa this floor before one or ALL of youse will be needin a fuckin coffin!’ shouted Mister Mullins. ‘Her own room up them stairs is where she will be waked!’
‘Too right fer ye, Mister Mullins! Isn’t tha right, Nellie?’
‘Yes! Proper order!’ shouted Nellie. ‘No respect an them gettin paid good money te bring her home from tha hospital! Didn’t we just say tha, Essie?’
‘We did, true fer ye!’
‘Get outa me fuckin house the lot a ye’s!’ Mister Mullins suddenly shouted, grabbin his hat offa his head bunchin it up an flingin it across the room. Then he rushed around makin fists, an then came rushin back tearin at his hair.
‘Shut the fuck up the lot a ye’s an get outa me sight!’ he roared, grabbin hold a the men an pushin them out the door.
I dived back under the table.
‘Ah Jaysus, don’t be like tha! Sure we meant no harm,’ said Banjo.
‘No! Not at all,’ said Mousey, shakin his head an wavin his arms like he was surrenderin.
‘Oh indeed not, sure God help us all an protect us in his holy name! NEVER! That’s as sure as my name is Esther Bullcock.’
I crawled back out on me belly just enough te get me head out.
‘No harm at all,’ moaned Nellie, cryin wit the arms out, but only soundin it because no tears gushed out.
‘Here! Let’s get poor Delia waked, may God be good te her an may she now rest in peace,’ another man said quietly, blessin himself an comin closer, bendin down, pointin the arm at Delia in her coffin. ‘Wouldn’t you agree wit me, Mister Mullins, when I say it’s the right thing te be doin now, an that’s wha poor Delia would want? After all, gettin yerself all worked up an upset is not goin te make anythin better!’