by Martha Long
‘Yes, go on go on! Ask no questions.’ Then he said, lowerin his voice whisperin, ‘Come here, come over te me an I’ll tell you! She’s wit tha priest gone ahead there, an the woman standin wit the child. Him, the priest, is headin fer first class an yer woman is stoppin in second class. But they won’t buy the child a ticket! He’s said I’m te stick her in cargo. So go on, do tha.’
‘Follow me,’ said the mail man comin up an takin me arm, then he walked me back te his trolley an pushed it off, sayin, ‘Stay wit me!’
The first part a the train was wide open an they were throwin up sacks a mail from the trolleys an loadin up wooden boxes an all sorts a stuff.
‘Hey! Oxo, this young one here is goin te be travellin wit youse in cargo. Tha all right?’ Dickie said, makin te throw up his sacks a mail.
‘Wha? Don’t be stupid. Why would ye do tha? Sure why is the child not travellin in the passenger carriage?’
‘I don’t know, I’m under orders from Monto. He’s takin his orders from a priest an a woman. He’s travellin first class an the woman’s travellin second class an the young one is goin no class at all!’
‘Ah will ye go on outa tha! Sure it’s months away yet until we get te April Fool’s Day!’ laughed Oxo, who started te grab up the sacks landin just inside the door from Dickie.
‘Tha’s the lot. See ye!’ said Dickie, makin himself off in a hurry.
‘Hey get back here! Wha about tha young one?’
‘Wha about her? Lookit, it’s nothin te do wit me, just do as ye’re asked, it’s simpler when you’re dealin wit the clergy,’ said Dickie, slappin the dirt offa his hands then grabbed up his trolley pushin it back the way it came.
‘Shite! A child! That’s all I need te complete the fuckin picture, now we have Noah’s bloody Ark!’ Oxo snorted, takin heavy breaths an lettin it down his nose.
‘Come on get up!’ he said, seein the hairy woman watchin makin sure I was gettin onta the train. ‘Hurry, we haven’t all day te babysit you!’ he said, wavin me te climb up onta the wagon an get in wit all the stuff.
The noise hit me as soon as I climbed inside. The place was chopper-blocked wit boxes an sacks an bicycles. They was all stacked high against the walls an more piled in the middle. I looked te see where the cryin was comin from. It sounded like a babby!
I looked down seein two greyhounds standin in the corner, they stood still, starin back at me. Then me head flew the other end lookin, seein a white nanny goat starin back at me, it went all quiet fer a minute wantin te take me in. Then it lowered its head scrapin its back feet an made a charge, but instead a gettin me wit the horns, it ended wit its legs in the air an the neck gettin choked. It forgot it was tied to a rope.
I watched as it ended splattered fer a minute on the floor. It stayed down thinkin about this, then got up an went really mad, roarin its lungs out wantin te get at me.
Then they all started – the greyhounds lifted their heads howlin like mad, cryin like the Banshee. Then they really let rip enjoyin themselves no end wit their heads thrown back. They were soundin like a huge pack a hounds, them’s the ones ye see on the fillums, they go dashin out wit the gentry fer a hunt. Then the nanny goat joined in cryin even louder, it got terrible, wit them all wantin te best each other, see who’s makin the biggest noise. It sounded like they were singin, but it was an animal choir!
‘Oh fuck! Wha the Jaysus hell did I do te get this? I’m gettin outa here! Don’t move, stay there. I’m goin fer a Woodbine, a smoke,’ Oxo said, tearin out a little blue box tha gives you five Woodbines. I know tha because all the men smoke them so they do.
I looked around seein there was no seat fer meself te sit on, an worser! No winda fer me te look out.
‘Hey, mister! Where can I sit? Do I have te stand?’ I said, gettin ready te burst meself inta tears, because I’m not havin this, I’m very tired so I am an I’m goin te start doin me war dance! Yeah, tha’s wha Mammy calls it when I lose the rag. An I will too if there’s nowhere te sit.
He said nothin, just sucked on his Woodbine pretendin he didn’t hear me.
I had enough. ‘Mister! I’m goin te roar me head off an do me war dance if ye don’t let me sit!’
‘Here!’ he said, losin the rag an makin a run back at me. ‘Sit, lie, sleep – do wha ever you want!’ he said, grabbin sacks wit every word an landin them in the corner, makin a nest fer me, an away from the nanny goat. ‘Now! Get in there,’ he said, slappin down the sacks, makin it comfy fer me.
I climbed in an collapsed on top, gettin a big smile on me face. ‘Thanks, mister, tha’s lovely,’ I said, feelin them all soft as I wriggled around gettin the best spot.
23
‘HEY, OXO!’ SHOUTED Dickie appearin at the door, he was holdin out a package wrapped in greaseproof paper. ‘Listen take this, it’s the sandwiches me missus made. I worked me dinner hour, so I’m knockin off earlier. You’re on the late shift, so get them inta ye. The bit of extra grub will do you no harm, ye look like one a them greyhounds there, only they’re better-lookin!’
‘Man alive!’ groaned Oxo, wit the eyes standin up in his head. ‘Just wha the doctor ordered! You have your missus well trained, mine has me starved on fuckin bread an drippin!’
‘Ah go on outa tha! You’re just a covetous aul fucker! So go on, have them while the goin is good, I’ll catch up wit you again on the Friday shift.’
‘Thanks fer tha, good luck now, Dickie.’
‘Yeah, good luck, see ye, Oxo,’ said Dickie, walkin off wit a swagger like he was the Lone Ranger.
I was standin lookin out the door wit me mouth open gapin, then I spotted Hairy Chin makin her way down te me. I leapt back fer me new nest an rolled meself up, not wantin te hear her start again.
‘Porter!’ she said, takin in a sharp breath gettin ready te fly another annoyance. ‘Now, you are being instructed—’
‘I’m not the porter,’ Oxo interrupted.
‘What?’ she said, gettin all confused.
‘I’m the mail man. I sort out the mail. I also be times look after nanny goats, dogs … greyhounds an—’
‘I don’t care what you are! Will you please listen while I give you your instructions.’
‘Are they from the Railway, the station master?’ he said, interruptin her again.
‘REALLY! You are an obstinate, obnoxious, horrible little man—’
‘Missus! Get outa me way,’ he said, puttin his arms out an flappin her away.
She stood back an he grabbed the doors an rolled them together slammin them shut leavin us all starin in the dark. Then there was complete silence. Even the goat shut up!
‘YOU ARE TO KEEP YOUR EYES FIRMLY LOCKED ON THAT GIRL IN THERE! SHE IS A WARD OF THE COURT!’ Then she went silent waitin, but we all stayed quiet.
‘SHE IS IN THE CONTROL OF THE STATE!’
We still stayed quiet. Then we heard the heave of huge breath an we all held our own breath, because I heard no one breathin.
‘IF YOU LET HER LOOSE YOU WILL GO TO PRISON. THESE ARE THE ORDERS COME DIRECTLY FROM THE REVEREND FATHER THE PARISH PRIEST!’
I watched Oxo standin starin at the doors, just listenin, then he whipped them open again, sayin, ‘Missus, go home! But first would ye ever listen?! When God was makin the human race, the fact tha you look like his experiment gone badly wrong is no excuse for givin me nightmares for the rest a me borned days! Now fuck off!’ Then he slammed the doors shut again.
‘I’m getting a policeman for you!’ she croaked, because the voice was now all gone.
‘Go ahead, missus! But hurry before I let the goat loose!’
Then we heard the whistle blow an screechin te ‘Hold the train!’, wit runnin feet.
‘That’s the aul biddy lunatic,’ muttered Oxo, tellin us all without lookin around.
We listened as the noise went through the roof, then the train started rattlin inta life, an I looked over seein the goat was gettin the life shook outa him, along wit the rest of us.
Then Oxo wh
ipped open the doors stickin his head out, shoutin, ‘We ready for the off?’ Is tha the lot?’ he said lookin up an down, givin a last check.
Then the whistle blew again givin a long blast this time, an we shook an shuddered wit the goat lettin it rattle his voice enjoyin the noise it was makin. Then we heaved an took off goin completely blind when the steam blew in, wettin an warmin our faces givin us all a wash. Oxo went over an took down a storm lamp hangin up inside a closed press. Then he lit it an went over an shut the doors.
‘Now, shut up the lot of youse, an no more guff outa you,’ he said te the goat, givin him fresh water in his tin bowl. Then he rummaged in a sack left sittin beside the goat, an gave him a handful of vegebales an rotten fruit gone soft.
The greyhounds went mad, barkin their head, wantin their grub too.
‘Yes, yes, hold ye’s are patience,’ he muttered, makin his way down te give them the same, wit pourin them water. Then he opened a big butcher’s parcel left sittin beside them.
‘Now! Any more cheek outa youse two an I’ll take this home an cook it fer meself,’ he said, takin out two big bones wit raw meat hangin off.
They took one look an nearly lost their mind wit the want fer it. One fella did a twirl an the other fella lifted his head an howled at the roof.
‘Shake paws, give us yours,’ said Oxo, puttin out his hand.
The twirlin fella gave a big slap of his arse sittin himself down heavy, then stood up givin another twirl when he didn’t get the bone, then looked te see, was tha wha was wanted?
‘No youse are thick eegits,’ said Oxo, wavin the bone. ‘OK, sit down an start millin!’ he said, givin them one each in their mouth. Then he slapped his hands gettin rid a the bits an bent down wipin them on the mail sacks.
I listened te them all slurpin their drinks an lorryin inta their grub. But he wasn’t comin my way!
‘Eh, mister. Wha about me? Wha do I get te eat?’
‘Wha? Wha do ye mean? Since when was I in the business a feedin little banditos?’
‘Wha?’ I said. ‘Wha’s bandies?’
‘Oh tut tut, Jesus te night! There’s no gettin away from this life! Hold on just be easy, give us a few minutes te sort meself out an I’ll see wha we can come up wit,’ he said, goin over te lift sacks an look at the label, then throw them in different piles.
I lay down watchin an listenin te him hummin a lovely tune, then every now an then he would sing the words. Me eyes was gettin heavy wit all the comfort, it was the heat from the lamp an its lovely soft rosy glow, an even the goat an dogs was in their comfort. They all just lay curled in a ball after savagin their grub, now they’re lettin their eyes get heavy, just like me own. ‘Oh this is mighty marvellous,’ I heard meself moan, just as I was dozin off wit the train rockin, fallin me into a lovely sleep.
‘Eh! Little one, hang on! Don’t fall asleep yet, you need somethin inside you,’ said Oxo, rushin over to a press an takin out a big flask wit two parcels. ‘Come on sit up! Have this hot drink, it’s Oxo,’ he said, pourin it out into a mug wit the lovely smell goin up me nose.
I grabbed hold wit me two hands an took a mouthful. ‘Oh it’s hot!’ I said, wipin me burnt tongue tryin te brush away the pain.
‘Drink it slowly, I can believe ye’re starved, but don’t go chokin yerself on tha,’ he said, openin the parcel an takin out two big chunks a loaf bread. They was stuck together wit brawn meat in the middle.
‘This is the stuff my missus made, but the best is yet te come, we’ll surprise ourselves wit Dickie’s offerin. His missus is a born cook! Jaysus tha woman can perform the miracle of the five loaves an fishes. Oh you should see wha he comes in wit! Do ye know, I’m goin to tell you this now. Him an me get the same wages, we have the same number a kids – nine! We pay the same rent fer the corporation house. Well, he pays sixpence more te the Corpo. He’s got a better place, bigger! Down there along the Liffey it is.
‘Anyway, my missus complains she can’t feed us on wha the wages I bring home, yet his missus feeds him like a lord. An she keeps him lookin lovely, you should see the style of him when he steps out fer Mass on a Sunday! Holy Jaysus, he looks like “Gentleman Jim”! Ye see, his wife was a dressmaker,’ Oxo said, lookin at his sambidge, then takin half inta his mouth still tryin te talk wit burstin his cheeks.
‘Nneh nah net a gaa!’ he said, shakin his head lookin te see did I agree.
I did. ‘Yeah, these sambidges are lovely,’ I said, lookin te see how many more was left.
* * *
I sat back wit me belly stickin out ready te burst.
‘Tha was lovely, I enjoyed tha so I did,’ said Oxo, foldin up his greaseproof paper an fixin his flask, puttin it away back in the press.
‘See I told you his missus would feed ye fit fer a king!’ he said, bowin his head lookin happy he was right, then after tha gettin somethin gorgeous te eat. ‘Them tomatoes, cheese an egg sandwiches was really nice,’ he said, shakin his head an feelin his belly, givin a belch.
‘You better get some sleep, did you come straight from the court?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Wha are they sendin you away for?’
‘I don’t know, because I suppose I’m a baddie!’
‘Don’t be silly, wha did you do? Did you rob?’
‘No!’
‘So wha then? Why you bein sent away? Is your mother dead?’
‘Yeah, I think so, they put her in a grave, so I suppose she’s dead now. But she’s not comin back,’ I said, shakin me head feelin me heart fall, now wantin te cry.
‘So where are they sendin you?’ he said after we kept quiet fer a few minutes.
‘I don’t know.’
‘How old are you?’
‘Seven, I got me birthday so now I’m big. They said tha in the court. I think they said I was enough years te be brought inta the court an made a baddie. So now I’m goin te prison!’
‘PRISON? Don’t be silly …’ Then he clamped his mouth shut, sayin, ‘Outa the mouths a babes. You could be right, be Jesus if it’s where I think you’re headed. Then may God have mercy on your soul!’
* * *
I woke up hearin noise everywhere. The doors flew open an people started draggin stuff out. Then I heard a man’s voice say, ‘END OF THE LINE! BALLINA!’
‘Come along! No time to waste,’ said the hairy woman, appearin outa the dark givin me a fright.
It was very late night-time, I could see the gas lights burnin an people rushin everywhere. The freezin cold hit me as soon as I jumped meself down outa the mail box an hit the damp ground. Me eyes an head hurt an I feel sick in me stomach. I just wanted now te go back te sleep an get warm again.
‘Come along, you stupid girl!’ Hairy said, grabbin me by the arm an rushin me beside her.
‘Me arm hurts, ye’re hurtin me, missus!’ I said, tryin te pull me arm free.
‘The Reverend Father has gone on ahead, if we don’t move quickly he will leave us, or at least me, stranded behind!’ she said, after stoppin te think about tha one.
We walked through the station then got outside seein donkeys, horses an carts, all waitin te pick people up, they were all the relations I suppose, comin te take home their fambilies. I wish I had me mammy an sister back. Oh why is God so mean? I hate him I do, I wish he would strike me dead so I can go an stay wit Mammy in heaven.
Then it hit me, I won’t get te heaven fer sayin bad things, an especially not now! Not after just sayin I hate God. Well he can fuck off then. Mammy won’t let him stop me. Nothin gets the better a my mammy!
‘WAKE UP, YOU DOZY CRETIN!’
I heard the roar, then came back te me senses when she yanked me offa me feet an dragged me over to a big black motor car.
‘Is there room in the boot for this?’ the priest said, pointin at me an lookin at the man wit the fair hair, he was wearin a lovely wool country jacket wit brown corduroy trousers. An his brown shoes was so shiny you could see yer face in them. He stopped te look at me wit his forehead creasin,
he was tryin te work out wha the priest was talkin about. Then he rushed te open the front-seat door an whipped open the two at the back.
‘Father, you may travel in the front seat if you wish, the lady and child in the back.’
‘What?’ said the priest, seein himself gettin helped then nudged te sit in the front.
Then the lovely man waved his hand at us, sayin, ‘Sit in the back quickly and shut the doors, the night is very cold!’
Hairy threw herself in shiftin her arse fer comfort, then dragged in her legs givin the door a bang shut.
I climbed in the other door gettin plenty a room fer meself, because Hairy was restin herself well away, wit her eyes already closin. I closed me eyes hearin the lovely man an the priest talkin quietly.
‘So, you are not following in your uncle’s footsteps, going into medicine, you are for the law, Tom tells me.’
‘Yes, how long have you known my uncle?’
‘Oh! Since I arrived in Dublin over forty years ago, was it? Yes, I think it could easily be that. So let me see now, I have known him for half of that …’
Me mind wandered an I missed wha he was sayin because I’m tired. Then I heard his voice still talkin.
‘He’s been …’
I felt me eyes gettin very heavy an settled meself stretched out on the seat, keepin me legs under me, then gave a long sigh of lovely comfort wit the heat pourin all round me, then felt meself fallin down, goin into a deep sleep.
* * *
The motor-car wheels pounded along, rollin over hard slabs of stone wit grass growin over them, then the uneven bokety road tried te lift the motor car, rockin an threatenin te knock it over. But the motor car held, rocked back an steadied, an then just kept on goin. On an on we went, past fields wit big hills behind them an huge rocks sittin around the fields. There was few houses, because most a them was now only half standin wit the walls collapsed an the stones scattered, left lyin around where they fell.
‘Lazy Beds,’ said Oisin the driver, pointin up te another hill sittin behind a big field. ‘Planted with potatoes before the famine by tenant farmers,’ he said. ‘They had the cottage which was really a mud-hut hovel and an acre of land in return for working the estate owned by the aristocracy. The absentee landlord, he lived the high life in London, while his tenants lived less well than the aristocracy dogs. The poor tenant farmer, he had to divide and subdivide up the acre of land when a son married. So the only thing that would grow in such a small area and be sufficient enough to keep body and soul together was the potato. The Irish lived on that, hence they’re called the “Lazy Beds”. Overplanting caused disease and the potato crop to fail, rotting while still in the ground. All hail, commence the great famine,’ laughed Oisin, but then gave a snort. He wasn’t really laughin at all.