They had just met a few hours ago, but the connection they shared was instantaneous. It was there, in there mock picnic on the Ping-Pong table with gummy bears and soda, that an eternity had been born.
They talked for hours, each of them sharing the most intimate details of their life. Heather revealed how much she missed her sister. It took a little persistence, but Will finally managed to get the entire story from her. She revealed how she hasn’t spoken to her sister in over a year because of a fight they had about Heather’s unfounded suspicions of her brother-in-law’s infidelity. When she finished her accounts, she lit a cigarette which Will gently snatched from her, tossing it on the ground while reasoning that she was too pretty to be smoking. Eventually, the conversation’s focus switched towards Will. He expressed his concerns over having recently lost his job. Immediately, she sought to remedy his situation. After informing him that a friend of hers had sold his newsstand and is moving to an actual store, she instructs him to come visit her at his old newsstand location, that way she would be able to set up an impromptu interview. At first, Will said that he couldn’t ask that of her. Heather, however, would not take no for an answer.
They continued to talk for another hour or so before Will walked her home. There was no kiss, although there could have been, there might have been, if only one of them had made a move. In retrospect, there was, and still is, no need to rush that kiss, as they both have had, and are stilling having, an eternity to figure it out.
*************
Will, knowing what he must do now, takes a deep breath and kisses Heather on the forehead. More gunshots sound through the air outside.
“I know now,” he tells her.
“Don’t bother,” she tries to speak through tear-soaked lips. “It just gets worse, every time.”
“But I know now,” he says again.
You won’t remember.
“You’ll forget. You always forget.”
She’s right.
“I can stop this,” he says.
“You can only change it,” she says, shaking her head from left to right. “It cannot be stopped, only redirected. You’re wasting your time.”
“Then I’ll waste an entire eternity.”
Might as well. We’re already half-way there.
Will lets go of Heather. For a brief moment, it appears as if Heather will run to her sister’s side. Instead, they look at each other, Heather’s sentiment being that of emotional distress and exhaustion, Will’s being one of sympathy and an affinity he does not fully grasp. Both of them know—to some extent and to different degrees—what happens next. Of course, what happens next differs for both of them, but that’s a matter of individual perspective.
“Initium Novum!”
CHAPTER 13:
WILL FREEMAN:
You wanna know what the problem is?
THE WRITE GOD:
Free will? Because that’s where I might have gone wrong with you.
WILL FREEMAN:
No! I come into the picture too late in the story. And I can’t remember shit every time you send me back.
THE WRITE GOD:
It’s too much information for a human character to hold. And you come into the picture at the exact time you’re supposed to.
WILL FREEMAN:
How about a little knowledge as to how the picture is drawn?
THE WRITE GOD:
You have it.
WILL FREEMAN:
But I can’t remember who I am.
THE WRITE GOD:
Thus the reason for the voice, you.
WILL FREEMAN:
Yeah, great, thanks, I’ll just continue listening to the voices in my head. You know that I don’t even recognize the voice when I’m down there. It’s almost pointless.
THE WRITE GOD:
Would you rather do without?
WILL FREEMAN:
No, I rather just have my memory instead of relying on a voice that I can’t even tell is me.
THE WRITE GOD:
Your memory will invoke emotions; your emotions will cloud your judgment. You will never navigate through the perils of your fate and the fates of all parties involved equally and without bias if you have any recollection of who you are.
WILL FREEMAN:
Then, tell me this: why the fuck do I always remember right before I restart?
THE WRITE GOD:
So that you can truly feel the effects of those choices and their results. So that when you are here, before me, you can know what I go through.
WILL FREEMAN:
Excuse me, what YOU go through?
THE WRITE GOD:
What WE go through.
WILL FREEMAN:
What I go through, you mean.
THE WRITE GOD:
May I remind you, that I am the creator of all that you know. Every detail of your universe is as much a part of me as you are a part of it.
WILL FREEMAN:
Then why not stop the horrible things from happening?
THE WRITE GOD:
Because of free will, all characters in the universe act and react according to the conditions of their reality.
WILL FREEMAN:
Conditions which you create.
THE WRITE GOD:
Conditions which came into being on their own. Condition I only replicate.
WILL FREEMAN:
Why not change those conditions?
THE WRITE GOD:
I’m afraid that it would be ungodly of me to intervene to such an extent.
WILL FREEMAN:
YOU ARE NOT GOD!
THE WRITE GOD:
I AM YOUR GOD!
WILL FREEMAN:
Then why do you torment me so? It’s been more than an eternity. Infinite eternities. Let’s just end this.
THE WRITE GOD:
I cannot end it. That’s why you are down there without knowledge. This must end naturally, despite whatever fate nature might bring. But know that I torment myself more than anybody else. You are not my martyr. You do not need to even guide him, but you do. Why?
WILL FREEMAN:
I feel like it’s me there. I have to try. I have to.
THE WRITE GOD:
It is us there. Do you even have the slightest idea what it’s like transcribing our life over and over again just so that the woman I love can read and reread all the times you’ve failed to stop a tragedy from occurring? Your failure is my failure. I must write it as it occurs, I cannot, I will not change a thing. But you, you are different from me. You can change your actions. Your actions can change the paths of those around you.
WILL FREEMAN:
Tell me again, because sometimes it just doesn’t make sense.
THE WRITE GOD:
We are one, William Freeman. I have sent myself, as my character, aided by the voice of my character’s higher consciousness to be a savior of the people in our story.
WILL FREEMAN:
You can change the story. You have all the power.
THE WRITE GOD:
The story has thus far been written. That is why I need you. You are in a privileged position to live the same moments over and over for as long as you choose to, for as long as it takes to succeed.
WILL FREEMAN:
Why don’t I ever love her in time? Down there, I don’t feel it until it is too late.
THE WRITE GOD:
Because down there, you’ve only known her for a few hours. You do love her, but it is this you, here before me, who loves her. You don’t feel it when you initially return because where she is, in regards to where you are, in regards to how this all started, you are still too new to each other. While she has the book to reacquaint her with you, you have nothing but time.
WILL FREEMAN:
But am I not God? Am I not you?
THE WRITE GOD:
You are made in my image, an extension of me. Whereas I reside outside of the story of your known world, you reside within the story, alongside the rest of our
creation.
WILL FREEMAN:
But, she does love me? Or at least, does she love the voice?
THE WRITE GOD:
You are the voice which commands you. Your physical body is only an avatar. You reside here, outside of yourself. Whereas everyone else resides inside their selves. The faithful day of your eternal return, the circumstance were just right for a change of fate. You were always the variable, the mysterious electron. The problem is, as you know, that day you had only know each other for mere hours. In other stories, your love has had days and weeks even. While true love will always transcend space and time, it does sometime take a while to sink in. Life plays its part, a cruel and most random variable in the equation.
WILL FREEMAN:
But why even set out to write story with a happy ending if you know the source material is a tragedy?
THE WRITE GOD:
They say that comedy is tragedy plus time. Well, now we have infinite time to stop a comedy from becoming tragic. Because before it became a story it was simply life. Now that it is a story, it can be rewritten. And that happy ending is ours to attain. Through you.
WILL FREEMAN:
What if I can’t do it? What if I’m the wrong character to change the story?
THE WRITE GOD:
You cannot be the wrong character, because you are me and I am you, and the voice is us. But I cannot help you, you must help yourself.
WILL FREEMAN:
That’s where you lose me, every time. No matter how many times I’ve been here.
THE WRITE GOD:
Be the voice that guides you.
WILL FREEMAN:
But I can’t control my own actions as a voice.
THE WRITE GOD:
And that there is the problem as I will not inhibit free will. You are the only variable that I have. You are the only hope for the world I love so vehemently. You must find the path or simply end the story forever.
WILLIAM FREEMAN
One more thing: I’ve been meaning to ask you this for—I don’t know, I lost count—but seriously, am I high?
END OF PART 1
Thank you for reading the first of three parts of INITIUM NOVUM: THE WRITE GOD. If you have enjoyed the story thus far, please purchase the complete version.
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INITIUM NOVUM: Part 1 Page 9