by J H Cardwell
“Come on in Chloe.” Liz said behind her, giving me a hug with her tiny frame as I walked in the door. I was speechless. I had arrived early to help as much as I could before the majority of the other guests would arrive. As I glanced around the room, rubbing my hands on the sides of my legs to stave off my nervous sweaty palms, I saw only smiling faces. Tate’s mom, of course Liz, and Harrison’s mom. They were all giving me hugs and telling me how good it was to see me again. I was grinning with the ease of the strong ladies in the room. They each had a glass of wine and were laughing about this or that without a care in the world.
Maura came barreling through the living room from the direction of the kitchen. “Chloe! So glad you got here okay. Come on in the kitchen and help me fix the glasses, will you?” I was eager to get her alone and ask her about Reese. But when I got to the kitchen Elle screeched my name and came running up to hug me. I repeated my unsure hug as I had with Reese. What was going on? Did I sleep through the apology we all gave each other and accepted? Knowing me, it was possible. I cocked my head to the side and studied Elle. She was dressed in a gorgeous white sundress, her strawberry hair and fair skin causing her blue eyes to pop even more.
“We’ve missed you Chloe. So glad you’re here.” My mouth was slightly open with confusion. I was afraid to question it though. This felt amazing, to have my friends back. It was like I had grown back my left hand after losing it. I knew I had missed them so much, but didn’t realize exactly how much until I could breathe so easily again. This is what finding forgiveness felt like. It must be. I swallowed hard and decided if they could move on without talking about it then I could surely do the same.
Elle placed her hand over her heart like Scarlet from Gone with the Wind and her other arm over her head like she was going to faint. They were all chuckling and I suddenly noticed the rock on Elle’s left hand. “Elle!! Oh my gosh girl. Wow!!” I grabbed her hand and then drug her into another hug. I couldn’t help but wonder how long ago this had happened. I was sad that I didn’t get a call earlier. Maybe that was way in the past.
“Oh this old thing.” Elle looked at it and then squealed. “Yeah, a Christmas wedding. Looks like we’ll all be married!” She eyed Reese and Maura before looking back at me. The air got stiff, but Elle quickly grabbed my arm as we sat at the kitchen bar. And just like that I heard all about Finn’s proposal. In my opinion it was about damn time. They had lived together, after all, for over a year. I guess a lot had happened with his move to pro baseball and Elle finally finishing her last year of school. She had said she wanted to wait until she graduated.
I winced when she said he had done it a little over a week ago. I closed my eyes wanting to cry. Before I had married John behind their backs that would have never happened. I would have known the hour it happened. I quickly shook off the sadness that was creeping in.
Other guests poured through the door and Maura got some awesome gifts. She was truly ecstatic. Harrison came in towards the end and they gave him, the groom, a hard time. He had to wear the bow hat for a few minutes so they could get pictures for the scrapbook. He was handsome and proper. Harrison was a kind good man. Maura was a lucky lady.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I was getting emotional again. Elle, Reese, and Maura would be married with the children they wanted and happy. Yeah, I was married, but my long-term plan was nowhere near theirs. While I kept telling my head that’s not what I wanted anyhow, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. My breath hitched as the truth dawned. I knew I shouldn’t fall in love, given my sucky family history. It wasn’t smart. However, I realized never in my life had I wanted anything more than the happily ever after. I wanted that. I did. I just wasn’t going to get it.
My phone pinged while I was splashing cool water on my face. When I pulled it out, I couldn’t help but get a stupid grin on my face. It was John.
Hey BB. Just checking
on you. I hope those
girls are being nice to you.
Do I need to come to
your rescue? You know
I will. – J
Yep. My heart was betraying my lifelong promise to myself. Dumb stupid heart! I took in a deep breath and let it out. I sent John back a quick text.
Nope, It’s strange
but they are back to
normal. I’ve missed
them. Um, I miss you
more right now ;)
We joked and texted back and forth for a minute or two, and it made me happy. I just hoped my heart would still be in tact when it realized the falling in love part was worthless. When time came to a stand-still in a little less than five months. I would be back on my own again, and my girls would be off in their magical, freaking romantic sunsets.
“Chloe? You okay in there?” Shit. How long had I taken a sabbatical?
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m good. Be out in a minute.” Maura was still my rock and saving grace. I had a feeling she was the one who had gotten Elle and Reese to forgive me.
When I opened the door, Reese was standing there too with a groggy Ty in his arms. “Hey little man! Where have you been hiding? I’ve missed you!” He instinctively reached his chubby little arms out to me as I took him in for a fierce hug and tickle rampage. He was chuckling his now little boy laughter and I was loving life more and more one muffled chuckle after another. He let out a long sigh when I eased up on him.
“Auntie Koee pay cars?” I laughed at Ty as did Reese.
“Auntie Chloe will play cars in a little while buddy, we’re going to take a walk and be back soon.” Reese said straightening out his shirt and ruffling his hair. She gave me a smile and what appeared to be a sympathetic look. I wasn’t sure what that was about, maybe just for the time we missed being mad with each other, or rather her with me? She leaned over and whispered that they were walking to the cabin for me to come on before her mom grabbed them to look at old pictures. I laughed thinking back to all the times that had happened in the past. God, I loved having my friends and their families my tween and teen years.
I followed her as Maura and Elle were walking arm in arm in front of us. Reese was carrying a bottle of wine and a monogrammed canvas basket of plastic wine glasses. We had definitely graduated from the wine coolers we used to leave stashed in the small, cabin fridge.
“That was awesome guys! Thank you so much for throwing me a shower and kind of last minute too. I can’t believe I’m getting married!!” Maura said rolling her eyes with a huge grin on her face. “Now just a few more weeks before the big day and we’ll all be together again.” Maura had decided on a small wedding. Harrison, John, Brett, and Harrison’s younger brother would wear dark grey suits and we would wear little black dresses of our choice. The flowers would be all white with simple elegance.
I must have been daydreaming about walking down the aisle with John. Hearing my name being called brought me out of it. When I looked up Maura was standing directly in front of me with a concerned look on her face. “I’m sorry what?” I jumped back a little afraid to know what I had missed.
“I asked how were you planning to wear your hair?” Maura was leaning towards me and whispered. “Hey. Everything okay?”
I wanted to tell her everything was fine but when I looked around at Elle and Reese they were looking at me again like they felt sorry for me. “Uh yeah. I’m fine. It’s just a weird day is all.” I straightened up stiffly. “Look, some people would blow this” I motioned my hand all around between us “off and just be glad no one seems mad anymore. But, you guys know me. I always speak my mind. What gives? One minute you want to hate me forever, and today you’re acting like you love me again.” I looked down at the floor, shuffling my feet from side to side.
Reese stepped up. “Chloe, we felt bad for the way we acted, especially once we realized what was really going on?” She looked sad for me again and reached out to grab my arm.
“O-kay. Why don’t you enlighten me a bit? I guess I’ve forgotten about what’s really
going on.” I said suddenly feeling on edge.
Maura let out a deep sigh. “I told them Chloe. I didn’t want them mad at you anymore. You need us. All of us. I knew it was killing you for us to be arguing. We all love you and I didn’t want you to question that with everything else going on with you.” All heads were nodding, except mine. My heart-rate sped up and I was suddenly hot all over.
Before I could have a response, Elle spoke up, her eyebrows pinched together. “We know you were having all kinds of money issues Chloe. You lost your job because of that night you were drunk and fell and hit your head. You were having car troubles and you couldn’t afford your rent or tuition. So, naturally we get why you would make a deal with John. He needed to save his company title for his future, and you needed to survive the future.” My eyes grew big but she wasn’t done. “You should have come to us Chloe. We would have helped you out. But, we get why you married John.” I turned to look out the side window, purely flabbergasted.
“Yeah,” Reese piped up. “It just surprised us, that’s all. We thought maybe you were secretly in love with John all this time. And, you know, I did love him and I still care about him. So…”
When I turned to look at Reese she had tears glistening her eyes. I know she cared. I had to hear her heartbreak over the two men in her life during that time. More proof of how easy a heart shatters by someone else’s actions. Everything they were saying had been the truth – at least, originally. Who am I kidding? I’ve been playing house for the last several weeks, in every way, and it’s time I faced reality.
I first looked to Maura. I couldn’t believe she had figured out what I was trying to tell her several days ago. She had tears in her eyes. She knew I was falling for John, so by telling them this, she was just sealing our original deal. Maybe she was trying to keep me from getting hurt in the long run.
My shoulders slumped over and I knew I had the look of defeat.
They all ran over to hug me, and they were rubbing my back, saying all the right things. “What did he offer you Chloe? Money, tuition, a car? What? I don’t really blame him or you. Although, marriage shouldn’t be treated like an arrangement or a negotiation. It should be built on love.”
I closed my eyes tight. “Yeah well, we’re married. I can’t say much more than that. I can just say, who knows for how long?” I raised my eyes to look at Reese. Her breath caught when she saw the pain in my eyes. I don’t care how much better she feels knowing I didn’t secretly pine for John, a woman in love can read the love in someone else’s eyes.
After I calmed down and we were able to change the subject, we all talked about the upcoming weddings for Maura and Elle. Elle was planning a Christmas themed wedding with red dresses and poinsettias. The excitement coming from them was electric. I just wish it could have given me a jolt. I knew what I had to do. I needed to distance myself from John. I needed to protect my heart. I would need to…Ahhh. I would need to fall back out of love.
Chapter 24
I went to Aunt Ronnie’s and had made a deal with myself to stay there for a few days. I had to get a break from my pretend world. I really needed to spend some time just building myself up to be strong again…alone. After all, I knew better! What was I thinking? I had to get a grip.
I decided to text John that I wouldn’t be home tomorrow after all.
Hey. I’m having a
good visit with Aunt
Ronnie. I think I’ll
stay for a few days.
I’ll let you know when
I decide to come home.
-C
Gone was the good humor we had shared hours earlier. Would he notice? The truth is, he’d been playing house too. We could do it a little while longer, but we needed to set new boundaries. I was lying in my bed with a good book, but not really focused enough to read, when John messaged me back.
Hey to you. I’m glad to
hear your visit is good.
You sure everything is
okay? You seem – down.
Just making sure BB. Ok.
I guess I’ll postpone our
plans.
-J
Shoot. The plans. I had forgotten he wanted to take me out to a special dinner tomorrow night. Well, that really wasn’t a good idea anyway. I don’t need to get too used to fine dining. I wasn’t made for that anyway.
I was feeling really sentimental being back in my old room. I decided to text Brett. I hadn’t talked with him, really talked with him, since the night he found out. So, I was nervous, but I didn’t want to sever those ties. Not ever.
Hey friend. You doing
okay? I just wanted to
say hello. And well, tell
you I miss you. Hope
Celeste is okay too.
-Chloe
I woke up the next morning with the phone in my hand. Checking the list, I saw I had missed Brett’s call shortly after I had sent him the text. Oh well. I would try to call him back later. Just as I was getting up to shower my phone rang again. It was John. I let it go to voicemail. Surely he didn’t need anything. I was imagining after a few days he would start to get antsy, but it had only been a day. When I saw he left a voicemail I decided to check it after I got out of the shower.
It took much longer with Aunt Ronnie’s shower to wash the conditioner out. I missed the fancy rainwater shower head from John’s place. I had to stop getting used to such amenities. Stepping out I heard my phone vibrating against the bathroom sink. It was John. My guess is he really was freaking about the perception of me being gone. His mother was probably giving him a hard time, although she of all people understood the ‘laws’ of Rider Industries. Maybe he was worried about the charity ball coming up this weekend and if I would be back in time. I had gone this far with this charade. I would finish what I started. I would at least do that for John. Plus, I would be more financially stable afterwards to start a new life. Noticing my phone was lighting up again with John’s name, I decided to answer it.
“What the hell John?”
“Chloe, thank God!” There was a long silence. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. A little perturbed right now, no offense, but how many times can you call a person.”
There was another silence on the other end. “Um. I. Brett called here looking for you. He said you left a message for him. Everything okay? He was pissed at me for not letting him speak to you. Then when I told him you weren’t here and I wasn’t sure when you’d be back he ripped me a new one. Now I’m worried he’s on to something. Chloe? Say something?”
“I’m here. You’re freaking out because I called Brett? I mean I’m flattered and all, but no need for the jealousy John.” I was trying not to make my voice as flat and lifeless as I felt, but I didn’t want to get used to being fought over like they were really each wanting me.
“No Chloe. It’s not like that. I mean it is, but it’s not.” He blew out an exasperated breath. “Look, I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I’m coming that way, actually, so I was just going to pick you up.”
“You, what? You don’t just come to Penderton, John. It’s not even really a passing by town. You know that. Plus I’ve got my car here. So, anyhow. I’ll be back before long. I promise.” I crossed my fingers on the last part. I would be back. When, was the question?
“Look Chloe. Something has happened and well, I just need you to sit tight. In fact, stay in your aunt’s house until I get there, and don’t drive your car anywhere! I know I’m sounding crazy, but I need you to hear me out. There has been an incident that…” He let out a long sigh. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. Okay? Humor me, please.” I wanted to. The problem was there wasn’t a whole lot of humor in his voice to work with…at all. In fact I sensed an edge that freaked me out a little.
“You have got to be kidding me. If you don’t know me any better than that by now.” I wasn’t sure where I was going with that, it wouldn’t matter anyhow. “I’m not sitting around without some sort of answers
John. No way in hell! Spill it!” My breathing had picked up, along with my heart rate. Hopefully he was making a mountain out of a mole hill, as my aunt used to say.
“I promise Chloe. I’ll explain when I get there. Don’t leave.” He ordered roughly. “Please.” He said in a much softer voice. “I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of me.”
Now I’m really confused. Then it hit me. “Is this about the threat John? What has happened with that? It is, isn’t it?” There was silence on the other end.
“I’ll talk with you in person shortly. For now, stay put and answer my call next time!” He sounded worried and tired. What in the world had happened to ruffle his feathers?
I was putting things back in my overnight bag, wondering what happened to my plans to take it easy and think for the next couple of days, when the doorbell rang. My nerves were already on edge after the call from John. Normally I don’t freak out easy, but he definitely had my guard up. My Aunt was at the grocery store, and I knew she wouldn’t be ringing the doorbell. I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with flip flops. Tossing my hair in a low ponytail I went to peek out the peephole.
As I neared the door my heart was racing and I broke out with a bead of light sweat. Leaning in towards the peep hole I saw the back of a head covered with brown hair. Who in the? As he turned around I saw it was Harrison. Then I heard knocking, and hollering. “Chloe, let us in. I see your car here. Hey!” That was Maura’s voice. What in the world?
I flung open the door to find a wide-eyed Maura and a frustrated Harrison. “Has John called you yet?” She barged in, pushing the door to the wall in her wake.