by J H Cardwell
On day fifteen there was a discovery that brought mixed emotions. John’s phone was recovered in the clean-up. It was beat up from the long fall from the bridge, and no longer worked. But when they brought it to me to identify, I knew right away it was his. I had put an Elvis sticker on the back from our Vegas trip as a reminder of our arrangement. It was scratched and peeling, but it was his none-the-less.
Where was John himself? There was a bittersweet feeling of having in my possession what had last touched his skilled fingers at the time of the explosion.
I was still losing weight and feeling sick. I had yet to eat a full meal. I knew this couldn’t be good for me, but I just didn’t want to eat. Not to mention, the smell of most foods made me want to hurl. I was filling Reese in when she asked how I was doing and she got real quiet. “Chloe, how long has the smell of food made you feel sick?”
“Uh, for a few days now. Why? I’m sure it’s just because my body doesn’t need food right now. It needs to find John.”
“Yeah, I agree. I want you to find John too. What about using the bathroom? Have you had to go more, you know pee more?”
“Well, yeah, I have actually. I think that’s weird too since I’m not drinking as much as I used to drink. I think maybe it’s nerves.”
“And your boobs. Are your boobs sore Chloe?”
I drug out the word “Ye-ah”.
“Chloe.” Reese let out a long breath. “Can you go to the drugstore today?”
“What? Why? Do you think I’m sick?” I was nervous for her answer.
“Well, sick but not like you’re thinking. Um, when was your last period Chloe?” My mind froze at her unspoken assumption.
“No” I whispered. “No, no,no,no…I can’t be Reese. Not now!” My voice was cracking. Surely not now. I couldn’t be so cruel to have another baby out there without a father. I broke out in a sweat. “Oh God,” my mind was racing. When was my last period? Just as I was about to answer, John’s mother waltzed into the room.
“Chloe dear, I need to talk with you.” I flinched at the sound of her voice. Not now! I needed to finish my thought and figure out if Reese had a valid concern.
I rolled my eyes, with my back to her, and told Reese I would call her back.
“Yes, Mrs. Rider?” I had had enough of her from the first day. She went home for Mr. Rider’s funeral and came right back here, settling in for the long haul.
“Listen, Chloe. I need you to sit down dear.” She made a theatrical sigh and was rubbing her temples like she was so stressed. “I think you should go home. You’ve had to spend enough of your time here, and you shouldn’t have to waste anymore.” She walked up to me and patted my hand like a child. “I’ll have Mr. Rojas go back with you and move your things out of John’s penthouse. Feel free to keep anything you’ve accumulated.” She looked me up and down with a layer of pity. “You know, clothes, shoes, and what not.” She said with a flick of her wrist.
I was in shock. I didn’t want to leave John here. I needed to find him. Was she kicking me out? I wanted to scream at her that I loved her son more in the last five months than she had loved him in a lifetime. But I didn’t say any of that to her. I simply nodded.
“That won’t be necessary. I’ll move in with my father temporarily until we find him, Mrs. Rider. I can see you would like to be here alone.” I turned to walk out and she stopped me with another harsh comment.
“You’re fooling yourself young lady. We’re not going to find him. Can’t you see that? He’s gone!” Her voice shook while she tried so hard to stay prim and proper.
I turned to look at her. She would never intimidate me. I was much too strong for that. “We will find him. And when we do, I’ll still be his wife. I love him.”
She lifted her chin. I could see the tears in her eyes, although she was doing a damn good job of pretending they weren’t there. “You were his wife Chloe. As much as I would love to have him back, he’s gone.” Her lips and chin deceived her as they quivered. “I’ve already checked with the attorney. I know you signed a prenuptial agreement, and I also know he agreed to pay you the $250,000 if he ended the marriage on his own. I could contest this of course. I know he didn’t end it on his own. But I think he would want you to receive the payout. I will have money transferred into your account.” She didn’t give me time to respond. She turned and started to walk away.
I stood there stunned for a moment. Then I spoke up. “I would have loved you too you know.” I swallowed hard as she paused, mid-stride. “I lost my mother at an early age. I didn’t have a father until most recently. I was excited at the thought of finally having a mother. Mother-in-law I know; but I would have gladly treated you with the respect and love I once gave my own mother, the angel that she was.” I knew there was no way someone like me could have ever lived up to John’s mothers expectations for her son’s wife. And I would never, ever kiss her ass to try and get there either. But, there was one thing I knew for sure. After finding love, finally, I knew what she was missing in her life. She didn’t say a word, but continued to walk away.
She may have given up on John, but I hadn’t, I wouldn’t. I didn’t know if it was possible, but I felt like he was alive. I just had to figure out how and where he was.
The front door opened and my father walked in. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. As I took a moment to look at my handsome father, I knew miracles could indeed happen. Look at us. It was another realization of why I couldn’t give up on John.
I filled my father in on John’s mother’s demands. He offered to give her a piece of his mind and teach her the importance of respect of another human being…especially her own daughter-in-law. I, of course, wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t have the energy for the arguing right now. I truly was weak and I now had added a new worry. One that Reese had planted in my mind.
Chapter 35
I was packed but not ready to leave John’s Houston ranch. I walked around inside and out remembering every word we spoke to each other and where. I spent the longest time with the horses thinking about my mother and my brother and how excited they would have been being near that barn and brushing and riding the horses.
I would give everything I own to see that look of awe in your eyes and the excitement on your face for the rest of my life. Those were John’s words to me. The man did love me. It had taken a while to wrap my mind around that fact. I think deep down I felt like his seconds. If he couldn’t have Reese, he would try me. But I learned over time he had complete closure with Reese. He knew her place was with Tate. I know he also felt like all he and I had been through in the last few years was for a reason, the reason that ultimately led us to each other.
“Chloe, come on, I’ll help you pack and we can head to my friends’ house in Houston.” I guess he was right, we couldn’t go back to the base. It was nearly three hours from here and three hours too far from where we might ultimately find John.”
Within minutes I was packed and ready to leave. When I returned to the main level my dad was pacing. “You ready?” He asked as he ran up to me. His eyes were a little more excited than I expected them to be. I studied him for a moment and shook my head yes. But first, I wanted to find Mr. Rojas and tell him what I was doing. He and Sara had been so nice to me. I had grown to think a lot of them both. I wondered if Mrs. Rider would re-employ them somewhere within the company.
“No Senora, you can’t leave.” Mr. Rojas pleaded with me. “I need you here. I want to help you. I wait with you for Mr. Rider to show up, no?”
“I believe that too Mr. Rojas. I think we will find him.” I grabbed his hands and leaned in to kiss his cheeks. I broke down as he leaned into hug me. He too had tears in his eyes.
“You are a special lady Mrs. Rider. I think Mr. Rider was so lucky to find you. You take care of yourself, si? Call me if you ever need anything.” I started to leave and he squeezed my hand a little tighter. “You stay strong Mrs. Rider. You pray hard, si? Mr. Rider, he not leave you alone. He w
ill come back to you.” I nodded, acknowledging I felt his words deep in my soul.
By the time we were in the car I turned to my dad. He was nearly jumping out of his seat. I was confused and concerned at his behavior. Before I addressed it, however, I needed to ask him to stop by a convenience store. I needed to make sure I nixed Reese’s theory. Luckily, he still didn’t say anything and he didn’t question me needing supplies. I tried to be quick, but after I purchased the pregnancy test, I felt a strong urge to use the bathroom. Asking for a key from the attendant, I quickly, but weakly walked into the one-stall, thankfully clean, restroom.
I paced for a few moments realizing my dad was waiting and worried he would come in for me if I didn’t hurry. I read the instructions and nearly threw up thinking of what I was actually doing. My husband was all but considered dead, and I was ruling out being pregnant with his child. Deep down, I can’t say which result would upset me more. If, God forbid, we didn’t find John. I might always have a piece of him with me if I was pregnant with his child.
I walked out of the bathroom, my head held high and both my head and heart ready to explode. I needed to get alone again with my emotions. My dad looked at me for a long moment, then he turned to me and held both of my hands.
“Chloe, I don’t want to get your hopes up baby doll, but I’m taking you to the last hospital I was at this week.” I furrowed my brow at him. I couldn’t imagine he would take me there at this late of an hour.
“Okay, could you fill me in? Why now – tonight?” I wasn’t sure I was up to the long walk into the hospital. I had only had toast and a little bit of coffee today. I knew I should have had more, but I just wasn’t hungry.
My dad kept driving. I tried to look at his profile, and his highlighted expression in the dark, but I was coming up blank. “I got a call about an hour and a half ago. A nurse on the orthopedic floor called me after hearing me talking to the burn unit nursing director in the lounge. It was strange really. She had the most familiar and melodic voice. I was giving John’s description again and asking everyone to keep an eye out for my daughter, Chloe’s, I mean, your husband.” I was nodding, understanding how many times he had probably done this.
“This nurse that called. She only identified herself as Nurse Della. She said yesterday she had a patient who had finally come to after being in a coma for nearly two and a half weeks. He had crushed his right leg bone in two places, and had burns on the left side of his face, along with bruises all over his body.” My heart was racing. Could it be? “She said he just keeps rambling words, well not really words, but letters. I’m not sure Chloe. It may be a long shot. He is literally called John Doe, because he didn’t have a name when they admitted him. And if it is him, there may be something horribly wrong with him.”
I wouldn’t care if he was armless. I wanted him back in my life. “I don’t understand though daddy. We’ve combed this hospital for days, weeks! Why now?” I wanted to be excited about the chance it could actually be him, but I was hesitant.
“The nurse said he wasn’t brought in with the explosion trauma patients.” My heart sank. It couldn’t be him. “She said there was an accident on the main highway on the same day, near the same time, and this patient was brought in by an EMT at the exact same time as those patients. So, they classified him as a car accident patient and he was put in the Surgical ICU after they fixed his leg, and then on the orthopedic floor in traction once he was no longer intubated on a ventilator.”
Okay, maybe it could happen. “But what about the burns? Didn’t she say he had burns? Surely they would have thought those didn’t come from a car crash.” I was trying my best to make sure. If there was any possibility it was him I would find out, but I was trying to protect my heart in the process. It was most likely not him.
“Yeah, I asked the same question honey. Unfortunately, the van that was involved in the accident with the car crash victims, caught on fire. In fact, two people didn’t make it out of the crash alive.” I couldn’t believe the coincidence and the magnitude of this. Could it be him?!
My hand flew to my mouth. “Hurry Daddy. What if it is him?”
**
We both rushed in as fast as we could. We were directed to the orthopedic unit, and as we neared the nursing station, we slowed our gait in unison; staring at the lady pulling a chart down from a rack. My eyes scanned her name badge to find this was in fact Nurse Della, but they quickly led back to her face. She was beautiful with the smoothest skin. My dad quickly reached for my hand and squeezed it. I knew he was thinking the same as me. This nurse looked so familiar. So much like my mother. When I looked at my dad he had the faint hint of tears in his eyes.
“Nurse Della?” I asked in a small voice, unsure of where all of this was going, could it be him, and why did I think I had met this nurse before?
When she lifted her face towards me, I surely saw the face of an angel. She was beautiful and young. Her eyes were so bright and full of life. Her hair was wound in a tight braided bun, but it wasn’t her looks that sucked the breath out of me, it was the aura she possessed. One of kindness and good. She smiled and my heart leapt to the surface. “You must be Chloe.” She walked over to me and hugged me before I could answer. “I’ve been waiting for you. Timing is everything I have a feeling.” I was too much in awe to speak.
“Yes, this is Chloe. Can you tell us more about the patient?” My dad finally spoke in a strained voice, as he placed his arm around my waist. Something about all of this seemed surreal, and my hands shook with fear of the unknown.
Her smile grew wider. “Of course.” She answered my father, staring at him for several beats. Then she turned to me. “First let me ask you, do you know someone named ‘BB’?” I collapsed in my father’s arms. I was shaking from head to toe.
“Yes. Oh God, yes! Where is he!?” I had no doubts, I now knew it was him. She smiled again but instead of leading us to him, she reached for my hands.
“I’m so glad Chloe. I was hoping I hadn’t called you for no reason. He’s awake, but I must warn you, he’s still a little banged up, and he has a pretty significant case of what we believe to be temporary amnesia.” My eyes grew wide. How did he remember me then? “He hasn’t recalled his last name yet, just that he thinks his first name is John. And, he keeps speaking of his love, his BB. He can describe everything about you, down to a mole on the back of your leg.” She blushed. “But he’s never called you by the name Chloe, so no one else here put it together. Plus, I’m hoping your dad told you about the accident mix-ups.” I nodded. “Okay Chloe, let’s go say hey to your husband.”
Chapter 36
I walked on unsteady feet several doors down from where we were. I wondered with each door we neared if this was it, my moment to finally see him after all of this time. When we stopped at Room 2109, I wondered how many times, if any, we ever got close to him in the nearly three weeks we had been looking.
She opened up her arm towards the entrance of the room, beckoning for us to enter. I paused before my shaky legs took me step by step into the room. I gasped when I saw him lying there, obviously asleep. His leg was wrapped and three times larger looking than normal. There was a device hanging over his bed, while his leg lay flat on the covers. His head was still bandaged, but only the top portion, covering his burns. He had more than a five o’clock shadow, it was gearing towards a full-on beard. He was still hooked to IV’s, and he looked to be several pounds less. He looked…beautiful lying in the sterile hospital bed. I peered over to my father for a moment as tears were streaming down my face, only to find he was wiping at his own. He backed towards the door and when he gave me a questioning look with his hand on the door, I nodded for him to step out. I needed to do this, alone, with my husband.
I walked a little closer to his bed, the sound of the IV pump the only noise in the room. I reached down and stroked his arm first then his hand, running small circles between his thumb and forefinger. I bowed my head, closing my eyes and lifting a small prayer to God
for allowing this - me to find him again, and for him to be stable and well, alive.
“BB?” I jumped at the sound of another voice. My eyes flew to his. Yep, my John. He could be bandaged from head to toe and if I could see his gorgeous blue eyes, I would know him anywhere.
“John?” My voice didn’t sound like my own.
A smile slowly spread across his face, lighting up every handsome feature. “I knew you would come. I told Della you would.” My smile I had dropped briefly until I realized he was speaking of the nurse. He weakly turned his hand over underneath mine, squeezing with all the energy he had. “I don’t remember things right now. I don’t remember how I got here, or where I was at, but I remember you. I remember us. I know you love me, you told me so.” His grin returned. I had tears in my eyes.
I reached up and softly ran my fingers down his jawline, and down his neck. I felt like I was dreaming. All of this time, and he was right here. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was taking the chance to relish in the love I had just found I could have.
“I remember making sweet love to you. If you don’t watch how you touch me in here, I might embarrass everyone.” He looked down at the tented sheet. I chuckled, blushing at what the results of even a little contact had done. “I remember just about everything about you Chloe.” My eyes shot to his at the first mention of my name. “I just don’t remember much else. They tell me it will come back slowly, and not to rush it, but it’s frustrating.” He took a slow breath. “I guess I was out of it for a long time, so it’s going to take my brain a little while to fully wake up.”
“I was so worried John. I worried I would never see you again. Everyone came to hold vigil, not knowing where you could be.” His face crinkled in confusion, so I elaborated. “Everyone meaning…”
“Brett was there wasn’t he?” I sat up in shock.