Lunch, like breakfast, was buffet style, but Leila wasn’t the slightest bit hungry. She avoided the happily munching guests and headed for the back of the boat, finding a shady spot where she could sit and brood. Had she really tried to swim to the island just to impress Ryan?
Leila was proud of the fact she was an assistant professor of English at Rutgers University. Like everything worth having in life, she’d worked hard to get her credentials and the coveted position, made all the more difficult because Nick was gone and she had a child to raise alone.
She’d been a Special Ed teacher in middle school when she first married, but had quit when Callie was four. Nick had made partner in his law firm, and they were paying him a ton of money, so he suggested she work on having a second child.
Two miscarriages later, they both agreed not to try any longer and just let nature take its course. Nature never did, but Leila threw herself into an active role as a PTA mom. This had not satisfied her, and so she’d told Nick she wanted to go back to school and enter a PhD program. He’d tried to dissuade her, but she had stubbornly insisted. She was two thirds of the way through the doctorates program when Nick died. For a good six months she did nothing. She quit school, quit caring about everything, except her daughter. It was her mother who insisted she finish what she’d started. Told her that Nick would have wanted this for her, and he’d be furious if she gave up on her dreams. It was true. Nick knew how much she’d loved being in the academic world once again, and how she liked the way it made her feel about herself.
She’d completed her course work, and had been doing research and writing her dissertation when Callie got sick. Once again, she’d nearly quit. It had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done, to finish that damn paper, when all she’d really wanted was to stay home with her daughter. But her mother refused to let her give up now, insisting she’d take care of Callie.
She’d been conflicted and twisted with guilt, but smart enough to know that she would need a good income in the future years, and being the sole provider, she needed this degree to get a really top job. Nick’s insurance policy had been sufficient to buy a house and live modestly, but they were not flush by any means. And she wanted a small nest-egg tucked away, which might not be possible if they had medical bills piling up.
Still, all said, she loved what she did and made no excuses for it, but for a man like Ryan, a man who’d had a wild youth and paid the ultimate price, who’d left his country and never looked back, the kind of person she was, the life she led, might seem awfully tame. Not that that made her daughter less worth saving, yet she couldn’t shake the sense that she had to impress Ryan that she and her daughter were extraordinary people. Nearly drowning had not been the trick. He’d probably be very happy to see the last of her. Coming here, blurting out the fact his brother was dead, then asking for his kidney. Sheesh, when he spotted her in trouble, he’d probably had half a mind to look away and let her sink or swim.
How could she make him see that Callie was better than both of them and worth saving at any cost? What would it take to make him come back with her? She inwardly moaned, worried that she’d already blown her only chance to get him to agree. Last night he’d made it clear enough that he wouldn’t set foot on American soil. As agreeable as he was to giving her his kidney, that selfless act alone wouldn’t keep Callie alive. He had to be with Callie.
Well, if he wouldn’t come to her daughter, the daughter would have to go to him. But that brought upon a new set of problems. Would Callie be allowed to come to Australia to receive a kidney? It was an extremely expensive operation, and who exactly did she expect to pay for it? She paid heavy premiums per month, but she doubted her health insurance would cover a transplant in Australia. She had no idea the actual costs, but guessed it would be in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and she didn’t have that kind of money.
As she was mulling all this over, Ryan came to find her. He’d showered and changed into khaki shorts and a white T-shirt like Jamie’s, with the company logo across the chest. He carried a tray with a plate of sandwiches and two iced teas.
“I brought you something to eat.” He handed her an iced tea and offered her the selection of sandwiches. She was glad for the tea, but shook her head at the food.
“Come on. You need to eat.”
“I couldn’t. My stomach is too upset right now, but thanks for thinking of me.” She looked into his face, hoping to discern whatever was going on in his head. “I need to know, Ryan. I can’t stop thinking about it, and worrying. If you don’t agree, then I need to get home and find Callie another donor.”
“I know you do. I will be tested if you want me to.” He leaned against the rail and stretched his arms behind his head, looking way too much at ease, she thought. “As soon as we land, I’ll go to the hospital with you and authorize the tests.”
She wasn’t really sure what he meant when he said he’d be tested. Would he agree to come back to Princeton if he was a match? Her heart thudded in her chest and she was almost queasy with excitement, but was afraid to ask in case she’d be disappointed again. “Ryan, that’s a really kind offer, but I’m sure you’ll need to make an appointment.”
“Then I will.” His eyes regarded her kindly and his voice was sincere. “I know your daughter means the world to you, and I want to do this for her, and for my brother.” He hunched over, no longer looking nonchalant. “We were close growing up.”
She swallowed hard and took a sip of her iced tea. “What happened? How did you two end up not speaking?”
He sighed and looked out at sea. He was quiet for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer, and then he began to speak.
“Nick was brilliant at everything he set out to do. Good grades, star athlete, the kind of kid that makes every parent proud. I was proud of him too, and wanted so much to be like him, but I could never measure up. I was an over-active kid, and I couldn’t sit still long enough to finish anything. Neither my parents nor my teachers could change me, but they’d punish me anyway and say I wasn’t trying. But I did. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus long enough to do what they wanted. I just ended up looking stupid.”
“ADHD,” she guessed. “You had attention deficit disorder, right?” During her years as a special education teacher she’d dealt with many children with behavior problems stemming from the same disorder.
“Right. At least, that’s what they finally decided when I was in high school. But I guess it was too little too late. I hated the meds and just didn’t take them. And let’s say my life path was already laid out for me. I was trouble, and I just kept going that way. It was too late for me. All the meds in the world wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Oh, Ryan.” She had to let him see that she understood he wasn’t a bad guy, but that bad things had happened to him. “I know you didn’t murder that young woman. You were found innocent. You should never have gone to prison.”
“I should never have done a lot of things, like dating her or going to the beach party that night. She was drinking and making fun of me, some guy was hitting on her, and I flew into one of my rages, and she stormed off. The guy she was flirting with, Corbin Bradley, he followed her, and when I went to find her she was already dead. But he was a judge’s son, and I was the one with a temper that was out of control.” He ran a hand over his face. “Who do you think they believed?”
“Your dad was an important man, too. Couldn’t he help sway the verdict?”
“My memory is a little foggy about the actual arrest. I couldn’t believe it was happening. It was a nightmare that only got worse.” He closed his eyes for a second, and she could see the sharp angles of his face. His jaw was set and he had a tick in his right cheek.
“I don’t know if Dad even tried to get me off the hook,” he said without bitterness. “But a businessman in a court of law wouldn’t have the same influence as a judge.”
A heavy weight settled around her heart for the young man whose life had bee
n so damaged because no one apparently had understood him. Instead, he’d been made to feel inadequate all his life—and perhaps still felt that way.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said with some heat. “You didn’t do it.”
“She was a beautiful girl. Nineteen, and a real spit-fire. I didn’t usually date Hamptons chicks, figured they were more trouble than they were worth. I wasn’t their type and they weren’t mine, so I left it to Nick to make them happy.” He saw her face and apologized. “Sorry, but you know what I’m saying. He was a big favorite with the weekend Hampton crowd, but me and my Harley weren’t exactly welcome.”
“So how did you hook up with her?”
“Hailey. Hailey Donovan. Well, her Mercedes needed some body work done. Apparently she’d been out drinking and the side of her car grazed a tree. She wanted it fixed before her father showed up that weekend. I worked in the garage at the time and told her it simply couldn’t be done. Then she looked at me with those baby blue eyes, and sucker that I was, I fell like a brick.”
“It happens to the best of us,” Leila said.
“I couldn’t understand why she wanted to be with me. I mean, she was wild, crazy, and gorgeous, and she had her pick of guys. But she pursued me, not the other way around.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” She gave him a warm smile. “You are an attractive man, Ryan. And you’re even quite charming when you want to be.”
He refused to look at her and kept his gaze on the water. “Thanks, but I wasn’t then. Maybe because of prison, maybe just because I finally grew up, but I got my temper under control, and I’ve managed to stay in one place and work in one job for several years, which is saying something. From the time I was little I had no staying power, and that included relationships. After a couple of months—hell, a couple of weeks, I usually got bored.”
“Well, Ryan, I doubt if you get bored anymore.” She lifted a hand, gesturing at the boat and out at sea. “Look at the life you made for yourself. You live in paradise, and you’ve got a great business going. You can hold your head up to any man.” With a little more spunk, she added, “And I think you should go home and prove it.”
Finally, he turned his head. His eyes met hers, and his lips quirked into a knowing smile. “You wouldn’t be saying that just for my kidney, now would you?”
She smiled back, totally unabashed. “I want you to do this on your own free will. Of course, I want you to do it for Callie,” she said with sincerity, “but I want you to do it for yourself.”
“Leila, I think you should fly home tomorrow and take care of your little girl. I promise I will think about it, and I’ll let you know. That’s the best I can do.”
She wanted to say she wasn’t ready to leave, and she was more than willing to beg and plead. But she was afraid that if she pushed too hard his stubbornness would kick in and she’d never get what she wanted.
She nodded. “I’ll do that, Ryan. Meanwhile, I’ll be happy if you get that blood test done.”
“What will you do if I’m not a match?”
She rubbed her arms as a shiver ran over her. Suddenly, she felt chilled through and through, although the temperature had not dropped. The sun was high in the sky and the day was a scorcher, but goose-bumps pebbled her skin. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I’m only strong enough to deal with one problem at a time.”
CHAPTER NINE
Leila was weary from her marathon trip home, but the moment she walked in the door, her mood brightened. “Hi, Mom,” she called. “I’m home.”
Her mother, June Hollander, was in the kitchen, baking muffins by the smell of it, but hurried into the hallway to greet her. She was wearing a comfortable pair of gray sweatpants and an extra large pink T-shirt that was stretched to the limit. Over this she had a well-used apron that looked as though it had seen the inside of a hot oven a time or two. Her gray-streaked hair was a short frame for a round face which was red from either baking or her high blood pressure.
“Leila, my poor dear.” Her mother hugged her, then stepped back to look intently at her. “You must be exhausted. I’m baking some low fat apple-raisin muffins, and I put a pot of coffee on. Are you hungry? I know the airlines don’t bother to feed you anymore. Would you like a ham and cheese omelet? I was just about to make enough for the three of us.”
“No, Mom. I’m not hungry. More tired than anything.”
“Of course you are. Why don’t you lie down, dear, until Callie wakes up? She’s still sound asleep, bless her heart.”
“How is she? Did anything happen while I was away?” Would there ever be a time in her life when she asked about her daughter without icy fear clutching her heart?
“Nothing. It was a good week.” June wiped her hands on her apron. "The muffins will be done in a minute. Do you want to take a shower before we eat?”
“I’m really not hungry, Mom. Please don’t bother with the omelets this morning.” She wanted to spend some time with her daughter before she went to school, and smack her for being a bit selfish, but she’d like her mother to leave so she could have an hour with Callie alone. “Muffins and cereal will be great.”
“I thought I might stay for the rest of the day and help you out.” June pursed her lips. “I knew how tired you’d be, and I’d be happy to take care of things while you rest up.”
“Mom, you’ve already done quite enough. It’s wonderful being able to count on you, and I can’t thank you enough for being here with Callie all week.” How could she tell her mother that she needed a little breathing room, and to stop smothering them with love?
“Are you kidding me? She’s my granddaughter, and that’s the least I can do.” Her mother turned off the oven and pulled the tray of muffins out. “With your father gone, I have plenty of free time and I get lonely.”
“Uh-huh.” She sighed wearily. “That’s why I keep suggesting you take up some outside hobbies. Join the senior center. Get out and mingle with people.”
“One of these days, I might do that. But I got to thinking while you were away. Why don’t I simply move in?” Her mother beamed at her, perfectly happy with the idea. “You could work the long hours you do and never worry, because you’d always know I was here taking care of the household and Callie.”
Leila didn’t answer right away. She took the time to pour coffee for herself and her mother, adding the right amount of cream and sugar for her mother before handing her the mug.
“So what do you think?” her mother asked, eyes bright with hope.
“I think we’ve already discussed this before, and I really prefer to keep things as they are.” Leila touched her mother’s hand. “You know how much I love you, but you also know how much I like my own space. This is a small house. I’m sorry, but I think we’d be stepping on each other’s toes all the time.”
Her mother’s expression turned sour. “I know I talk too much, but I could learn to keep my mouth shut when you’re working on something or watching TV.”
“Mom, it would never work. I don’t want you to keep your mouth shut. I want us to enjoy each other’s company when we get together.”
“Yes, but if I lived here, I wouldn’t have to drop in so much.”
“That’s true, and that’s another thing I wanted to speak to you about. Callie and I have busy schedules, and they’re going to get even busier in a couple of weeks when I start teaching. Last year I was an instructor—this year I’m an assistant professor.” She sighed, half elated, half dreading what her responsibilities would entail. “My hours are going to be excruciatingly long, and I’ll be exhausted when I get home. We thought last year was bad, but it was a walk in the park compared to what’s going to be expected of me this year.”
“Oh, come. It can’t be that bad. Your father did it all those years and he never complained.”
“Mom, you were too busy with me and Crystal to notice. Dad worked all the time. He was out of town at least once every week, lecturing at other universities around the world
, for heaven’s sake! Don’t you remember?”
“Your dad was at the top of his field. He was a full tenured professor of English, and he was expected to attend conferences and seminars all over the place. He was invited to lecture at prestigious institutions because he was so well known for his books.” Her mother shook her head. “They won’t be expecting that of you.”
“Wrong. If I want to keep my job I need to publish too. I’m going to be working nights, doing research, writing papers, and I simply won’t be able to have you over all the time.”
“But honey,” her mother cajoled, “you’ll need my help more than ever. I want to help.” She wore a self-pitying expression, and laid on the guilt. “Callie’s my only granddaughter, and now you’re saying I can’t see her every day?”
“Mom, you know how much I rely on you to take her to dialysis and pick her up from school. Hell, if it wasn’t for you we’d be eating fast food every night. All I’m saying is that I need my nights free. You can stay for dinner once in awhile. Just not every day. We have too much going on. Every second or third day, sure.”
“Well, I see. In that case, I’d better be going." She took off her apron and laid it on the counter, not looking at Leila. "I’ve already taken up too much of your time.”
“Mom. It isn’t like that.” She touched her mother’s arm and tried to get her to turn around. “Stay until Callie wakes up. You can say good-bye.”
“No. I think not.” She sniffed, but her eyes were dry. “You’ll want to have some alone time with her. I’m sure you’ve missed her very much.” Her mother grabbed her handbag and pulled out her car keys. “Tell Callie I made the muffins this morning and they’re still warm.”
“I will. Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“Love you too.” As she left the kitchen, her mother added, “Let me know when it’s convenient for you to see me.”
Leila sighed loudly. “How about if you come for dinner tomorrow night?”
CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE TRILOGY Page 5