She took his face in her hands and kissed him. He let her for a moment, thinking hard. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he sure in hell didn’t want to make love to her. He decided a little tact would go a long way.
“Mmm, that’s nice.” He licked his lips and grinned. “Best thing that happened to me all day.” He shifted his body and grimaced. “Shit, that hurts.”
“It does?” She sat up, and he noticed that she was wearing the sexy nightgown again. And her breasts were spilling out of it again.
“Where does it hurt?” She traced a finger down his chest. “Here? Or here?” The finger dipped lower.
He grabbed it before she found something interesting. “Sorry, kiddo.” He slid out of bed before he had a chance to change his mind. “But I’m not a well man. Who’d think losing a kidney could be so damn painful.”
He was still in his clothes, and glad for that. “I’m going to run downstairs and see if I can get some heavy duty pain pills. I left the hospital, like an idiot, without any.”
She stood up and walked over to him, hips swaying seductively. “You don’t have to do that. You’re the patient and I’m the nurse. I’ll run down to the pharmacy and get you whatever you want. It’ll just take me a minute to change into my clothes.”
“That’s real sweet of you.”
“I’m happy to help.” Without batting an eyelash, she slipped the straps off her shoulders and drew the silk gown down her breasts and over her hips. She stepped out of it, naked as the day she was born. “See anything you like?” she asked with a confident smile.
“Crystal.” He turned away. “You’re a beautiful woman, and I wouldn’t be a man if I didn’t want you. But…”
“But you’re in love with Leila, right?”
He shrugged. And lied. “No, I’ve got someone at home. I’ve never been the faithful kind, but I’m working on it.”
“Well, I’ll be…” He turned and saw a big smile spread over her face. “Does my sister know?” She slipped on her bra and panties. “I bet you never told her.” She threw on a light-weight sweater and a pair of jeans.
“I’m not sure if I mentioned it,” he said, wishing he hadn’t. He didn’t want Leila hurting, and he didn’t want her thinking that he’d used her either.
“I was pretty sure you two had something going.” She stepped into a pair of knee high boots. “Normally I can spot couples in heat right away.” She flicked her hair out of her eyes. “You know how it is. You walk into a room and spot two people, and you feel it. That sexual combustion.”
“Guess you got it wrong this time, didn’t you?” God, every lie made him feel crappier than the one before, like a knife twisting deeper and deeper inside him. He was almost glad for the pain.
“Look. Don’t say anything to Leila, will you?” He gave her a sheepish smile. “I think she was a bit soft on me.”
“Oh, don’t worry. My mouth is sealed. Your secret is safe with me.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Leila sat next to Callie, watching her sleep. She’d spent the past two days hanging around the hospital, keeping Callie company, and if she hoped to run into Ryan, well, who could blame her? He had yet to visit Callie, though, and she didn’t know if he was staying away from her daughter in an effort to avoid her. Or had there been complications after his surgery that she knew nothing about?
It killed her knowing he was recuperating in her sister’s hotel room. She wished he would hurry up and get well. Not that she wanted him to be well enough to fly away home, but she didn’t want him lazing around in Crystal’s bed either. It was a struggle to keep her mind from wandering to that bed, imagining what the two of them were doing together. The one time she asked Crystal about their sleeping arrangements, she’d laughed and told her it was none of her business. Which she supposed was true. They were both single and could do whatever the hell they pleased.
She wanted to believe that Ryan was better than that, but after all, he had never married, and he had made a point of telling her that he could walk away from any woman. And he’d already proven that he could walk away from her.
For Callie’s sake, she pretended to be in high spirits and didn’t let on how truly devastated she was. But it was a little like losing Nick all over again—although that wasn’t exactly true because she and Nick had shared a life together and dreamed of a future. She hadn’t truly had a future with Ryan, but that hadn’t stopped her from wishing. Being with him had made her feel whole again. His adventurous spirit, his cavalier attitude to life, had jelled with her disciplined nature and opened her up inside. He completed all the missing parts of her.
And no one had ever loved her in bed the way Ryan did. He made her come alive, and when he’d slid inside her, she had felt him in the very depth and core of her. It hadn’t been just a physical connection, but one that sprang from her very soul. She felt him deep. A part of her. A sense of belonging.
Was it the same with every woman he made love to? How many women shared his bed, she wondered, when he was home in Australia? She could name one. Were there others?
“Mom?” Callie woke up, rubbing her eyes. She pushed herself up. “What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing, honey.” She stretched and yawned, as if she too, had been sleeping. “Well, I was thinking how nice it will be to have you back home. Hospitals suck, don’t they?”
“Big time. But you looked sad. I know you miss Uncle Ryan. Why don’t you call him and ask him to visit us? Please? I want to see him too.”
“I know, sweetie. I’m surprised he hasn’t been here to see you yet. He did say he wanted to visit you and I know he will.”
“But when? Is he sick or something? Maybe Aunt Crystal cast a spell on him and he can’t get out of bed. Wouldn’t surprise me.”
Leila’s lips twitched. Her sister was a bit of a witch on occasion, and if she could get Ryan, or a man like him, under a spell, she’d certainly try.
“I have an idea. Why don’t you call him, honey? He would probably love to hear from you and know how much you’d like to see him.” She pulled her cell phone out of her handbag. “I’m the last person he wants to talk to.”
“The second last,” Callie said. “His dad comes first.” She made a face. “It’s been really hard for me to keep my mouth shut when they come to visit. I think I deserve sainthood.”
Leila nodded. “You do, and I know how difficult it is. I’m also having problems being civil, but we have to. They’ve never been anything less than wonderful to both of us.”
“I know. I don’t get it.” She scrunched up her cute nose. “Boy, I’d hate to get on the wrong side of them.”
“Okay, enough of that. No more bad-mouthing grandparents. Instead, let’s see what your uncle is up to.” She dialed the number and handed the cell to Callie. “I think hearing from you will cheer him up.”
“Uncle Ryan?” Callie said into the phone. “Hi. How are you feeling?”
Leila listened to the one-sided conversation, pleased that Callie looked so animated and sounded so happy talking to Ryan. She hoped he felt the same. Whatever his feelings for her, she trusted that his affection for Callie was real.
“How come you haven’t come to visit me? I really, really want to see you.” She grinned at Leila. “Mom does too.”
Leila shook her head, putting her hand up in protest. “Tell him to come, that I’m leaving.”
“Mom says she’s going home soon, and would like you to come to see me. Can you?” Her head bobbed up and down. “You will? Yeah! Hey, can you bring me a pizza?”
They talked a few more minutes and then Callie said good-bye. She handed the phone back, smiling with satisfaction. “He’s coming. Thanks, Mom. I’m sorry you can’t be here.”
“Me too.” She wrapped her two hands around her daughter’s. “I think he’ll come around in time. I’m sure by next summer he’ll have forgiven me and want us to visit. If not, you’re old enough to go by yourself. It would be a long trip, but I could
go with you halfway, let’s say Hawaii.”
“And leave you alone in Hawaii? No way. He can’t stop you from showing up. What’s he going to do? Have you kicked out of the country?”
Leila laughed. “You’re right. What can he do? I could even book his chartered cruise if I want. If I was a paying customer he’d have to be nice to me. Or throw me overboard.”
“See. Now I’ve got you smiling.”
“Yes, you have.”
She stayed to play cards with her daughter. All she wanted was one glimpse of him and then she’d leave. It was a free country and he couldn’t prevent her from looking, could he?
***
The aroma of pizza clued her in. She looked up as the door swung open and there stood Ryan, carrying a large white pizza box. Her mouth watered—whether from the sight of Ryan or the delicious smelling pizza, she couldn’t be sure.
She stood up quickly, knocking the cards onto the floor. Scrambling to collect them from under the bed was a welcome distraction. It gave her an excuse not to look at him, and to get her breathing under control. Her heart was racing and her palms were damp. The last thing she wanted was for him to see how his arrival had affected her.
Ryan greeted Callie with a kiss on the forehead, but didn’t say a word to Leila. When she had all the cards in hand, she rose slowly, careful to avoid eye contact. He had ignored her, and it hurt so much she could barely stand it. She felt completely undone.
If he said one word now, she’d lose it for sure. She had to get out of the room quickly before she made a complete fool of herself and upset Callie.
She dumped the messy pile of cards on the bed and backed away. “Bye, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She kept her eyes on her daughter and tried to smile, but it was a weak attempt at best. Being so close to him and yet feeling so distant was cutting her heart out. An unkind word would kill her.
“What are you doing here?” he asked softly.
She kept backing to the door. “I was just leaving.” She could feel her cheeks flame with color, and was annoyed at him for making it so difficult. Why couldn’t they remain friends? Why did it have to end like this?
“You don’t have to. We have plenty of pizza.” He smiled gently, and she finally met his eyes.
He had a dazed expression on his face, but his eyes looked happy to see her. Her heart picked up a beat, and she felt a flush of excitement. Had he forgiven her? Was it possible? She bit her lip, intent on holding back the tears that were swimming to the surface.
She dropped her gaze, not wanting him to see the longing in her face. She wanted to stay more than anything, but knew she had to go. She’d promised he could visit Callie alone, and she’d already broken one promise to him. She didn’t dare break another.
“You’ve got to have dinner,” Callie said. “Why not stay and eat with us?”
“Oh, I promised your grandma that I’d pop over tonight. She’s expecting me.” It wasn’t true, but it was as good an excuse as any, and she had to get away fast before she changed her mind. Already her feet felt like they were dragging dead weights.
“I’ll be leaving on Tuesday,” Ryan said. “I’ve booked a flight out.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke. He was making room on the table for the pizza, and seemed unconcerned as to whether she stayed or not.
“That’s soon, isn’t it?” Tuesday was five days away, and he’d had the operation only three days ago. How could the doctors allow him to leave so quickly?
“I have another follow-up appointment on Monday, and then I’m clear to leave.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Callie said. “Couldn’t you stay at least until I get out of here?”
“No, sweet-pea.” He rumpled her hair. “I’ve got a business to run. I’ve already left it long enough.”
Leila nodded. “Yes. Thank you,” she said stiffly. “You’ve already done so much for us, we can’t ask for you to do more.”
He shrugged. “Stop with the gratitude, okay? I just did the right thing for a change. No big deal.”
“Right. No big deal.” With an effort, she kept her voice as unemotional as his had been. “You just saved my daughter’s life.”
Callie beamed. “And don’t forget that I’m coming to visit you in the summer.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
Leila took a deep breath, afraid she’d burst into tears. She had to buck up. Do the right thing and not make a scene.
She took a step forward and spoke as calmly as possible. “In case I don’t get a chance to say good-bye, I will now.” She hoped she wasn’t wearing her heart on her sleeve as she looked at him, for perhaps the last time. “It’s been a pleasure getting to know you, Ryan. Keep in touch, won’t you?”
“I will, and that’s a promise I plan to keep.”
The door swung open, nearly slamming into Leila, and Crystal strutted into the room. She was wearing leopard skin pants that looked like they’d been painted on, and a V-necked cream cashmere sweater. “Hi, guys. How’s everybody doing? Ryan told me he was picking up pizza, so I thought I’d drop by.”
“Nice. You came for a free meal.” Leila glanced at her sister with annoyance, wishing she had something more attractive on than a pink track suit. “When are you leaving to go back home? Ryan just told us he’s taking off on Tuesday.”
“I booked a flight out the same day. No reason to stick around here. Callie’s doing great, and you’ll be getting back to work.”
“True.”
“Uncle Ryan has to get back to work too,” Callie said. “Otherwise, he’d stay longer. Wouldn’t you?”
Crystal answered before he had a chance to speak. “I’m sure work isn’t the only reason he’s hurrying home. He’s got a girlfriend that’s pining for him.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Leila knew Ryan had girlfriends. He had never pretended otherwise. But hearing this from Crystal was like being sucker punched. Did he have one special lady friend? And if so, why had he forgotten to mention the fact?
She lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders, putting on a brave front. She could cry later. She would not let either of them see how Crystal’s words had delivered the final lethal blow to her heart.
“Of course.” She gazed right into Ryan’s eyes without flinching. “Be sure to say hello to Jamie for me, won’t you?”
He nodded, but didn’t say a word.
She kissed Callie good-bye and left with her head high.
The moment she got out of the hospital, she ran to her car, sobbing as though someone had just died. Tears streamed from her eyes, and she could barely use the remote control to unlock her car. Once inside, she buried her face in her hands and let the anguish overwhelm her. All the emotions that she’d held inside for the past month rose to the surface and flooded out of her in one huge tidal wave of despair. She shed tears for Callie that she had suppressed for so long, and tears for Ryan who would never know the real joy of being loved, and tears for herself. She didn’t know how long she sat there and cried, but daylight had faded to dusk by the time she dried her eyes. Letting it all out had a cathartic effect, and although she felt empty, she felt purged of pain.
She’d miss Ryan, but she’d get over it. Callie was going to be well again and that was all that really mattered.
***
The next few days passed quickly for Ryan. He’d moved out of Crystal’s room the day they’d shared the pizza with Callie, finding another hotel where he wouldn’t have to run into her.
He’d been furious with Crystal for trying to hurt Leila, but he’d also been glad to see that the comment about his supposed girlfriend hadn’t fazed Leila. Obviously, her feelings for him only scratched the surface, and she’d be off and running in no time. Now that her daughter was well, she could get on with her own life and find a little happiness for herself. She’d meet a nice man, settle down with him, and live happily ever after.
Why the hell did that bother him so much? He wanted her to be happy,
didn’t he? She was much too young to be a widow forever. Callie would enjoy having a father figure around, and as she entered her teenage years, a guiding hand would keep her on track.
A man like him sure wouldn’t be of any use. What did he know about living up to expectations and staying clean and out of trouble? Hell, he’d done just about everything a man could do without killing himself from stupidity. He was anything but a role model.
No. A woman like Leila would marry a university type, someone with a PhD who’d wear tweed jackets with leather patches at the elbows. And corduroy pants. And plaid shirts. Or, even worse, polo shirts. He’d keep an unused pipe in his jacket pocket.
Oh, poor Leila. Maybe he should stick around a little longer and save her from that fate.
He had half a mind to tell the taxi driver to turn around and take him back to the little white Victorian house on the outskirts of Princeton. But his flight was leaving in a couple of hours and he’d best be on it. He’d made enough mistakes in his life and he didn’t need to make more. Sure as anything, if he hung around Leila long enough he’d never want to leave, and then his idyllic world would be totally screwed up.
It had taken him years to rebuild himself from the inside out, to make a good life for himself. He liked who he was, and he liked what he did for a living. How many men could go to work each day and be surrounded by turquoise seas, a clear blue sky, fascinating marine life, and pretty girls looking for adventure?
How much better could it get?
He’d have to have his head examined if he even considered giving up paradise and staying in Princeton. It would never happen anyway. He wasn’t the settling down type, for starters. He was the love ’em and leave ’em type, remember?
“Here we are, sir.” The driver checked his fare. “That’ll be $110.”
Ryan paid the man and hauled his bag out of the trunk. He walked through the swinging doors into the airport terminal and found the check-in counter for Qantas.
The line was long and slow, and by the time Ryan reached the front of it, he was ready to snarl. He was a lousy traveler. He hated waiting, lines, chatty strangers, pre-packaged food, and flying unless he was in the pilot’s seat. Still, he was anxious to leave and forced his bad temper back down.
CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE TRILOGY Page 23