He hung up, and Christine was left with a dial tone ringing in her ears.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
The days dragged by slowly. Christine felt as if getting out of bed was a monumental effort, and putting on a brave front at work was almost too much to ask. So many times she had come close to picking up the phone and calling Derek, because the more she thought about it the surer she was that he had been telling the truth, and that Kyle had been lying.
But of course she didn’t. It was much better to keep her emotional distance and end things before they really got started. She was only half in love with him, and that half was already aching with grief from their separation. Wasn’t it Shakespeare who said, parting is such sweet sorrow; well, she sure could tell William a thing or two about pain. There was nothing sweet about it; it was more like a thousand bee stings at once, or like a piercing ear-ache, only in the heart. It hurt, and you could romanticize it all you wanted, but she wasn’t real big into pain, or going around all weepy-eyed and feeling blue.
The half of her that wasn’t in love with him, felt as if she’d lost her best friend in the entire world. And nothing was ever going to be the same again.
She made sure that no one suspected a thing at the office, but at home she moped around like a sick puppy. She watched old romantic movies in her room at night and cried into her pillow. For the umpteenth time, she watched Doctor Zhivago and when he told Lara that he was leaving and never coming back, Christine sobbed along with Lara.
She didn’t believe him either when he said he wasn’t coming back.
Christine figured an afternoon of shopping might shake off this minor depression, and be a perfect pick-me-up. She told Nicole to meet her at Nordstrom’s and that she was buying them both evening gowns for the upcoming dance. Shopping for something beautiful was enough to lift any woman’s spirit, she reasoned with herself.
But she tried one thing on after another, and nothing looked right, or fit right, or felt right. She looked at herself in the full length mirror and could see nothing but her own flaws. Her back wasn’t slender enough, her hips were too wide, her breasts were a little larger and lower than they should have been, and was that a stomach bulge?
Nicole tried to reassure her that everything she tried on was perfect, but she figured her daughter was only trying to make her feel less than the frump, she was.
Nicole, on the other hand, looked like a runway model in every dress she selected. The problem for her was choosing only one. As proud as she was of her daughter, it only reinforced how old and average she had become.
Instead of enjoying this shopping experience, Christine became grumpy and allowed Nicole to select one of the gowns she had liked best on her, so that she would at least have something new to wear. They bought shoes and bags to match their dresses and Christine paid with her Champagne American Express card, figuring she could deduct it as a business expense.
The next day she was back at work, in the saddle, so to speak, and frantically threw herself into projects, eager to get her hands in everywhere. She called people, conducted preliminary interviews, arranged meetings, and met with a cruise line to set up a party cruise. She watched a local polo match and talked to all the right people, setting up an afternoon cocktail event.
But she felt like a fraud. What was she, of all people, doing running a dating service? She was beginning to resent all the clients, even Jenny who was happy with Joe. Everybody was bugging her. Wanting to fall in love, wanting to share their life with somebody. Yada, yada. Who were they kidding? Didn’t they know how it was all going to end? In misery, that’s how. Boy, she sure could tell them a thing or two about love.
And her mother. She had called to say she’d met some nice guy at the Kravis Center where she volunteered one evening a week.
Her mother, for heaven’s sake!
And Nicole was so giddy over Jake, and it was both wonderful and sad. Sad, because Christine was afraid for her own daughter’s future happiness. What future? Marriages didn’t last. Everybody knew that.
Christine could not get her groove back. Her mojo was missing. She felt as if she was doing her dating service a huge injustice and thought seriously about throwing in the towel. Give it up and go back to her hair salon where she was with people who had nothing but problems. Sell the business to someone who was more optimistic than she. That might be the best solution for everybody. Then she wouldn’t have to face Derek, or see his face on every ad. She couldn’t escape him. Every time she opened her computer to their website, he was there, smiling at her.
She couldn’t take it anymore.
***
Finally, Saturday arrived, and Christine was almost sick with worry. What if no one bid on the six firefighters who’d agreed to be part of the auction? She would have to instigate the bidding, even at great cost to herself. She already had a lot of money invested in this company, and if it didn’t fly she’d be back working at Sass and Class. Which all things considered, might not be a bad option.
Still, her finances were only a small part of her worries. Avoiding Derek was priority number one. She would be busy playing hostess and could easily pretend she was too occupied to dance with him, but what if he insisted? How could she be in his arms and keep her emotional distance?
She would have to stay well clear of him, that was all.
Nicole and Christine arrived at the Colony hotel early, both in their new gowns. During their shopping trip, Nicole had chosen a simple but striking black strapless dress that drifted to her ankles, and selected a body hugging blue beaded gown for her. With all the stress in the past week, she’d actually dropped five pounds and had to admit the dress fit her better than she’d first thought. And Nicole was absolutely stunning.
Christine felt some of her anxiety drifting away as they stepped into the Pavilion, the banquet hall she’d booked for the evening’s dance. One glance reassured her that she had chosen the right hotel for this all important event.
The chandeliers sparkled like diamonds, and the room, which normally was bright and airy, had a sexy romantic feel to it. The party planner had done a superlative job, creating a sophisticated Casablanca theme to set the mood for singles to party and mingle.
Reminiscent of an old supper club, the ceiling had a tent of beautiful fabric that draped across the room and covered the walls. Each table had a unique lamp for lighting, and silver placemats with black chargers. Black and white photos of famous old-time actors and movie-sets hung on one wall, and a table at the entrance held an enormous arrangement of Calla lilies in a sculpted crystal vase. Name tags with the table numbers were laid out on the table.
A quartet played old Frank Sinatra tunes as the guests filtered in. And what an eclectic collection of people! A few of the gentlemen came in black tie, the younger men duded up in white tuxes, while the ladies ran the gamut with anything from Lycra micro-minis to cocktail dresses to floor length gowns.
Formally attired waiters in stiff shirts and white jackets cruised the room with trays of champagne and hors d’oeuvres, while the men and women mingled and found their assigned tables.
As she surveyed the crowd, she spotted her mother sitting at a table. Anne wore a baby-blue silk dress that floated around her slim legs to mid-calf. Her newly blond hair had grown to chin length, and her cheeks were pink with excitement as she talked with her friends.
Christine was delighted that her mother seemed to have forgotten Salvatore completely, and was not only happy, but flirty and vivacious. Christine could have used some of that sparkle and charm herself.
Well, what was lacking, she would just have to put on. With a bright smile, Christine circulated through the room, stopping and chatting with everyone who came through the door. Often, she would catch a man and woman eyeing each other, and she hastened to make introductions to help them along. She passed out her business cards to groups sitting at tables, and gave a brief pitch about the services Champagne offered.
By now, her smile was genuine
and she was enjoying watching the beautifully dressed guests as they coyly watched each other. Some had taken to the dance floor, others were standing near the open bar or their dinner tables, doing what she was doing, perusing the room, looking for someone they might want to meet.
After greeting her guests, she decided to take a break from her hostess role and visit her friends’ table. She hadn’t seen Amy, Kelly, and Jamie since her final day at the salon, the same afternoon she met Derek.
Amy was already chatting with one of the muscular firefighters from the night’s auction, while Kelly roamed around the room as if admiring its old world elegance. Only Jamie sat at the table, nodding in disinterested agreement with a man who, from the look on her face, was less exciting than sedimentary rock.
Christine headed toward her, weaving through the tables, but a voice behind her brought her to a dead halt.
It was Derek. She knew the sound of his voice the way she knew her own heartbeat. She turned around, and saw a gorgeous woman at his side. She knew the woman was his dinner companion, since she had personally chosen one of Champagne's most attractive clients to sit with him. She hoped if he was seated with such a beautiful woman, he’d be too distracted to bother with her.
The woman was around five feet five inches tall and a hundred and ten pounds dripping wet. She was achingly slim and striking. Christine was about twenty feet away, but still clearly saw the bright blue eyes, the tawny skin, the sensual full lips, the sleek dark hair that fell past her bare shoulders.
Behind this vision of perfection was another woman, shorter, heavier, perhaps closer to fifty. She was cute even though she was a little stout. Maybe it was her big smile and the adoring way she looked at Derek that made her attractive. She wondered if this was his good friend, Maddie.
Christine’s spine straightened and she nodded coolly as she met Derek’s dark eyes. Seeing him with two women—even knowing one woman was merely a good friend and he had met the other woman maybe five minutes ago--was like a double hit to her heart. She hated the jealousy that swept over her in waves, and could kick herself for caring.
She didn’t want to love him. She couldn’t take these feelings again.
With tremendous effort, she raised her head high and would have continued on her way, but he was much too quick. He caught up with her after she’d taken only a few short steps.
She smiled, but her lips felt frozen, her blood turned to ice. “Hi, Derek.”
“Hey, Christine. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Not now. I’m busy.” She brushed past him, glad she had something to do. She didn’t want to be near him until she could look at him without longing.
Afraid he might see her conflicting emotions she hurried away, pushing through the crowd to get to her friends’ table.
By this time Kelly and Amy had joined Jamie, and she hugged all three women. “Oh, I’m so glad to see you. I’ve missed all of you so much.”
“It’s not the same at Sass and Class without you, that’s for sure,” Kelly said.
“Come, sit with us for a minute.” Jamie patted the chair next to her. "And quickly. I was just stuck talking to some guy who was more boring than actuary tables.” She laughed. “Besides, we never get to talk anymore.”
“I’d love to. And I’m sorry I haven’t called.” She sank into the chair. “I’m so glad you’re here, and it was sweet of you to come and support me.”
“We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Kelly sipped her red wine. “This is without a doubt the biggest and the best singles party in town.”
“I hope so.” Christine lowered her voice, looking around to make sure she wasn’t overheard. “I took special care with this table and hand selected the men.”
“Sweet,” Kelly said. “Who are they?”
She told them about the men: one was a buddy of Derek’s, another was a golfing friend of her own, and a third was an accountant who had recently signed up with Champagne.
They chatted for several minutes, but before long the other people at their table began to arrive. Christine quickly made the introductions, and smiled with satisfaction as her friends eyed the attractive men. Excusing herself, she left them to get better acquainted and began to make her way to her mother’s table.
A quick glance in Derek’s direction made her knees nearly buckle. She felt weak with longing as she watched him laughing with the other women. She wished she was the one sitting beside him, gazing into his velvety eyes, hearing the deep rumble of his laughter. She’d like to feel the warmth of his arm as it brushed against hers, or an accidental touch of his thigh.
Mostly, she wanted to catch his eyes on her when he thought she wasn’t looking, and feel the heat from that gaze, knowing they both wanted each other.
Her heart ached and she hated herself for feeling this way. She had known better, so she was only getting what she deserved.
Before she had a chance to turn away, his eyes zeroed in on her. His gaze immobilized her, and she stood there rooted, limbs frozen, unable to break contact.
“Mom? Are you all right?”
Christine jumped when her daughter touched her arm. She turned slowly, feeling the blood return to her cheeks. “Hi, honey. Yes, I’m fine. Just checking out the crowd, making sure everyone has found their seat.”
“You looked funny. Like you were upset.” Nicole glanced around the room, as if trying to see why her mother had been staring into space.
Christine swiftly turned away. “Grandma is sitting over there.” She pointed to the table at the edge of the room. “I have you seated with her, is that all right?”
“Are you kidding me? Of course it is.” She grinned. “Although she does look like she’s kind of busy.”
An elderly gentleman was leaning over Anne’s shoulder, talking to her like an old friend. “I wonder who that is,” Nicole whispered. “She acts like she knows him.”
“I hope it’s the new man she told me about and not Salvatore,” Christine muttered. “If it is, I’ll have him tossed out on his ass.”
“Mother!”
“Well, I would.”
“In that case, I’d hold the door open and trip him on his way out. Oh, look. Grandma is getting up to dance.”
They both watched as the man with silver hair and a nice smile smoothly guided Anne around the dance floor. A dozen or so other couples were dancing, a sign that the evening had gotten off to a good start.
Christine nodded. “How nice for Mom. She looks so beautiful, and they move nicely together.”
Nicole grinned. “They do. We might have to keep tabs on her, don’t want her having too much fun.”
“Speaking of which—I’m sorry that Jake couldn’t be here.”
“Me too. But he’ll be back next month, and I’m learning patience.” Her smile vanished. “Oh-oh. Isn’t that Derek? Who’s he with?”
Christine saw him swinging the shorter woman onto the floor, and they were laughing, perfectly at ease with each other, as old friends would be.
“I think that is Maddie. A friend of his from work. But I don’t know and I don’t care,” she added sharply.
A sly smile slid across Nicole’s face. “Yes. I can see that.”
“Oh, why don’t you go talk to Jenny or someone?” Christine fumed, putting one hand on her hip. “Don’t stand here and annoy me.”
Nicole pursed her lips. “You might be annoyed, but Mom, it’s got nothing to do with me.” She sashayed off, and Christine watched her go. Her little girl was right. She was angry at herself for falling in love, when she darn well knew love couldn’t be trusted.
Folding her arms, she leaned against a post and pretended not to watch Derek having fun with his dance partner. At the end of the dance he returned Maddie to her seat and offered his hand to the woman Christine had seated on his right. She watched the lady slide into his arms as if she belonged.
Christine had seen enough. She tossed her hair back, smoothed her dress over her hips and swept through the cr
owd. She refused to stand there and watch him. She had things to do, people to see, and he wasn’t one of them.
Marching through the doors that led outside, she found herself standing in the courtyard near the pool. There was another bar and restaurant out here, and the people seemed to be having a good time. Why was everyone enjoying themselves while she only wanted to be alone, alone forever?
She sucked in a breath of fresh air. Breathed deeply, closed her eyes. The words floated back to her. Alone forever. She shivered in spite of the heat. Why did those two words frighten her so much? They didn’t sound nearly as appealing as they should have.
“May I get you a drink, ma’am?” A handsome young waiter had arrived at her side.
“No, no drink, thank you. I’ve just come out for a moment. I’m hosting the party inside.”
“Well, let me know if you change your mind.”
She forced a smile onto her lips. “I will.”
He left and she stood there for another minute, feeling foolish. The outdoor restaurant was casual, and the people were dressed accordingly. She was the only woman who was dressed up in a sexy gown. Not only that, she was the only woman who was alone.
Just the way she liked it, right? Hadn’t she made it perfectly clear to everyone, including herself, that she didn’t need anybody? That she didn’t want a man in her life?
Riding on the heels of that thought came another. It was a light-bulb moment, when everything was stripped away but the truth.
She had loved being married. All of her favorite stories ended in happily-ever-after. But she had tried to convince herself that she didn’t want that kind of commitment ever again. She had said that to Derek time and again. He was out there, dancing the night away, with absolutely no remorse because she had made the damn rules. She had told him flatly, and more than once, that she was not interested in a relationship.
CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE TRILOGY Page 49