“Right. I’ve got a zillion things to do today, but I’ll clear the path for tonight.” She offered him her cheek, and then went back to the task at hand of emptying and reloading the dishwasher.
Standing in the kitchen, Bill slurped down his coffee, then started to say something to the boys, but they were busy baiting each other, and didn’t acknowledge him at all. A moment later he was gone.
***
“So, Bill. What is it you want to say?” It was late, the boys were in bed, but it was the first opportunity they had to talk.
“You’ve been on my case a lot, lately.” He unbuttoned his shirt, and threw it in the hamper. Took off his slacks and put them on the hanger, being careful with the crease. “Do you want me to do administrative work? The hours would be more regular, I’d be home more. Barbara, would that make you happy?”
She slipped off her slacks and sweater, and hung them too. They didn’t look at each other. “You’d hate it,” she said softly. “You love working with the patients. You’re a wonderful doctor, the best there is. You can’t give it up. Not for me. Not for the kids. It’s what you are.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Barbara. I love you and the kids.”
“You can’t be less than you are.” Barbara took a negligee out of her drawer and put it on, still avoiding eye contact.
He was already in bed, watching her. “What about you? Are you fulfilled?”
“Of course. With all my committees, I never have a chance to be bored.” She turned to him. “Why, just today, I was able to secure some wonderful novel items for the auction. I have the sweetest little dog, a Llaso Apso, and a pink Mini-Cooper to be donated. The Special Olympics is going to be a huge success.”
“I’m glad for you. But that doesn’t answer my question. Are you fulfilled?”
She turned away. “I have my sons.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A week later, Barbara was in an upscale restaurant in New Brunswick, a few blocks from the hospital where her husband worked. She was lunching with a group of ladies from her sons’ school when Bill walked in. He wasn’t alone. The woman with him was perhaps in her mid-forties, slim, attractive, and well dressed. He guided her to a table, his hand on her back.
Barbara gasped, and her sip of wine went down the wrong windpipe.
“Are you all right, Barb?” Jenny Sheldon asked.
Unable to speak, she nodded, and sipped on some water. She took several slow breaths to calm herself. “Yes, I’m fine,” she finally got out. She folded her napkin in her lap, refusing to look around the restaurant. The last thing she wanted to do was catch the eye of her husband.
“Barbara, isn’t that Bill over there?” one of the women asked.
Pretending surprise, “Why, yes it is. He told me he was lunching today with someone from work.” Barbara played it cool. “If it’s who I think it is, her husband has cancer. I’m sure they have a lot to discuss.”
Her friends glanced at the woman, and then back at her. She could tell by their expressions that they didn’t believe her. They thought Bill was having an affair.
The women engaged in a lively conversation, hoping to distract her. But Bill’s table was a magnet for her eyes. Finally, she couldn’t stand it another minute. She stood up.
“I think I’ll go over and say hello.” She smiled bravely for the ladies’ benefit, patted her skirt over her hips, and tossed her head back, letting her hair speak volumes.
She heard the women whispering as she walked away.
“Bill.” She nodded to her husband, while her eyes coolly assessed the other woman. The other woman. Already she was calling her that.
“Barbara!” He jumped out of his seat, nearly knocking over his glass of water. “I’d like you to meet Mary Shaw. Her husband is a patient of mine.”
“I’m sure.” She shook hands with the woman, but her voice was frosty. “I’m having lunch over there.” She pointed to the group of ladies, who were watching them intently. “They are soccer moms, from Huns School.” She gazed pointedly at Mary. “Huns is where our boys go to school. We have two sons, Scott and Brad.”
“I hear it is a very good school,” Mary answered pleasantly, with a warm smile. “My daughter is in tenth grade at Montgomery High. She’s happy there.”
“So what brings you two together?” Barbara asked with a quirky smile. She knew it was quirky because she couldn’t get her lips synchronized. They felt funny, as if she’d spent an hour in the dentist chair.
Bill answered, “We’re discussing her husband’s treatment, and I’m going over the options available.”
“Okay.” Her tone indicated she didn’t believe him. “I thought you’d do that in your office, not here, having lunch.” She couldn’t meet Bill’s eyes. “I’ll leave you to your conversation, then.”
“It was nice meeting you,” Mary said.
“Yes,” Barbara answered. “I’ll see you tonight, Bill.” The words, even to her ears, sounded like a threat.
Head high, she turned on her heels and marched over to the table of ladies. She smiled brightly, and chattered away like a happy little Stepford wife. “Yes, that was Mary Shaw. Such a nice woman, and going through such a rough time.”
***
“Who the hell was that woman? How dare you embarrass me that way.” Barbara practically threw Bill’s dinner plate at him.
The kids were upstairs doing their homework, and she was alone with her husband. She tossed down the last of her wine and poured another one. So far, she hadn’t joined him at the table.
“Embarrass you?” He slammed his plate down. “You mean seeing me with another woman doesn’t matter? Its how other people regard you that’s important, isn’t it?” He was shouting now. “Isn’t that what you’re worried about? What other people think?”
“No, of course not. It does matter. A lot.” Barbara wanted to hurl something at him. “Seeing you today with that woman was extremely painful. Are you having an affair?”
“No, don’t be foolish. I’m not having an affair.” Bill ran his hand through his thinning hair. “If I was having an affair, do you really think I’d take her to one of the most popular restaurants in New Brunswick? Right near the hospital, where I’m likely to run into my colleagues, not to mention my wife?”
“Well, you hardly knew I’d be there. You never know what I’m doing, because you never bother to ask.”
“Barbara, what are you really mad about?” He spoke evenly, almost hopefully.
Her spine was straight and unyielding. “I’m upset because you made me look like a fool. How could you, Bill?”
His shoulders dropped. “How could I?” he stammered. “How could I what? Talk to another woman? Maybe she might be interested in what I have to say.”
Barbara wanted to slap him. Her guts were twisted inside out, and she didn’t know what she was feeling. Hurt, anger, betrayal? All of the above? Did she really believe Bill capable of having an affair? He wasn’t that kind of man. But maybe any man could find solace in the arms of another woman if he didn’t feel wanted at home. When was the last time they’d made love? Months ago. And from her observation of men in general, they had a tendency to look elsewhere instead of facing the root of the problem.
She had no answer for him, and so, she turned and walked away.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jan Turner lay in a cold sweat in her queen-sized bed. Her moans and whimpers were childlike, as frightened and as powerless as when she was a kid.
Her father stood up high on the pulpit in a big church, swaggering about, shouting warnings of damnation to unrepentant sinners. His eyes glittered with fervor as they swept over the congregation, searching for the sinners amongst them. Only eight years old, Jan snuggled against her mother, shielding herself, but she knew his eyes would find her. She tried to make herself small and keep her head lowered, but finally she dared a peek. He was looking straight at her.
She knew she’d be in trouble when she got home.
G
rowing up, she had lots of secret hiding places. When she was really little, she could make herself so tiny that she’d be almost invisible, and hide in the linen closet, or a kitchen cabinet behind the pots and pans. Her Dad would rush from room to room, shouting and cursing, and since she was the baby, her mother and sister told her to hide. She’d press her hands over her ears so she wouldn’t hear their cries. And she’d stifle her own sobs in the hem of her pretty Sunday dress, hoping he wouldn’t hear her whimpers. She’d stay hidden for a long time, even after the beatings stopped.
Once she’d made the mistake of coming out too soon, and her father was waiting with his belt in his hand. He’d pushed her skirt up, taken her over his knee, and whipped her good.
Twenty years later, she could still feel the searing pain of being whipped by a belt. Heart pounding, her moans grew louder as she waited for it to slice through the air. Her body quivered and bucked under the blankets, preparing for the sting that would surely come.
She screamed.
“Jan, honey. It’s me,” Josh soothed in his deep voice. His hands caressed her shoulders and her back. “You’re okay. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re with me.”
Jan turned and folded herself into his loving arms. She was wringing wet and shaking. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I haven’t dreamed of my father in a long, long time.”
“Yeah, I know, baby. I know.” He kissed her brow and continued to stroke and comfort her, as she shivered in the warm embrace of his arms.
Both were law enforcement officers in Somerset County. They’d met at work and hated each other on sight. He detested smart-ass, hard-nosed black bitches, but now he said he couldn’t imagine life without one. And Jan had never met a man so big, so tough, and yet so gentle.
“Josh, I have to go home and face him in a couple of weeks. How am I to do that?”
“No fucking way. I don’t want you to go, baby. Call them up and make some excuse. That’s one party you need to miss.”
Her sister was throwing a party for their parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary. Jan hadn’t seen her family in years. They lived in Seattle, and she’d moved to the East coast, as far away as possible without actually leaving the country.
“I tried, but Lisa wouldn’t take no for an answer. She laid on the guilt trip about his stroke, and that I haven’t been out to see them.” Jan rubbed her leg alongside his. “I feel like crap saying this, but I wish the stroke had killed the son of a bitch. Isn’t that awful? What kind of person am I?”
“You’re just saying the truth, girl. I wish it too, because if I ever meet the prick, I’m going to kill him, I swear to God.”
She kissed his chest. “That’s why you can’t come with me. He’s old now and couldn’t hurt a fly. So, I’ll go and hold my tongue, and let bygones be bygones. Nothing can alter the past, so there’s no point in rehashing it.”
“Sure there is. The man’s gotta pay for what he did.” He made a disgusted sound. “The big preacher man’s going straight to hell.” He fondled her firm rump. “The scars on your backside, honey, are nothing compared to the ones inside.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning you might act tough, but inside you’re still a frightened little girl. How long was it before you let me put my arms around you?”
“They are now. So what’s the point?”
“You got a lot of issues, baby-doll. When the right buttons are pushed, I see a lot of anger brewing.”
“Don’t push me then.” She punched him lightly on the shoulder and he laughed, hugging her tight.
“I won’t push you, because I know you’ll make the right decision when you’re ready.” He pressed his chin into the curve of her neck, and his hand strayed to her breast.
“That’s what you think.” She nipped at his ear. “Let me go. I have to get out of bed, and go catch me some bad guys.”
“Want some help?”
“Naw. You’re a pussycat. You’d just get in the way.”
***
Barbara met Maddi at a restaurant on Witherspoon Street in Princeton, two days after her friend returned from St. Kitts. The coffee and sandwich shop was popular with the university crowd, and had great coffee and delicious pastries.
Maddi’s skin was sun-kissed, her blonde tips lighter than usual, and her blue eyes sparkled with a zest for life, the way they had before David broke her heart.
“Wow, Maddi, you look terrific. That week away did you wonders.”
“Thanks, Barb. Now I can see why sailing is so popular. It’s calming, and soothing for the soul.”
After they gave their order to the anorexic-looking waitress, Maddi told Barbara how the young Harry replaced his father.
“Do I see romance dancing in those eyes?” Barbara asked.
She blushed and laughed. “No, but it could have been. He was gorgeous, but much too young for me.”
“Tell me more.” Barbara leaned forward, eager for details.
Maddi obliged, giving her a day-by-day scenario, ending with the latest piece of news. “The morning we were to arrive in Montserrat, the volcano erupted.” She smiled. “The boat is safe, but David will think it’s lost.”
“How does he know where you took the boat?”
“I had Harry make a call to the marina and give him that information. I wanted David to hear about it and have lots of time to panic but not enough time to react.” Maddi scooped up the final bite of her brioche. “Harry is sailing the boat to Bermuda, as we speak.”
“So you’re keeping it?”
“I need to wait until the divorce is final and let the court decide who owns what. But Harry junior is eager to make an offer if I decide to sell.”
A little later, Barbara told Maddi about running into Bill with Mary Wells. “I think he lied about their relationship.”
Maddi clunked her coffee mug on the table. “He wouldn’t. He’s not the type.”
“We never thought David was either.”
“If I find out that Bill is having an affair, I’ll lose faith in the whole human race. He’s the--”
“Don’t say it, Maddi. Please? Don’t say he’s the greatest guy in the world. I can’t bear to hear that from you.”
“Okay. He’s just a regular guy, right? But I always thought he was one of the good ones.”
“Even good guys cheat.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
David had had enough. He’d put up with Maddi’s vandalism, bringing the homeless people to his office, he’d put up with all that, and more. But she had gone too far. He wasn’t going to sit passively by and allow her to steal his boat--hell, steal was too kind a word--kill his boat was more appropriate.
David contacted his lawyer the moment he got home. Richard Tyson agreed to look into it immediately. Then he called the police and was put through to Officer Jan Turner. Damn. His luck was going south faster than a landslide. Wasn’t there one male officer around when you needed one?
“Dr. Clemmons. Officer Turner here. How can I help you?”
“My wife is up to her tricks again. Only this time she’s gone too far.” David heard the tremor in his voice, and it pissed him off. “You have to do something. I tell you, her actions are out of control. Next thing you know she’ll be burning the house down, or some crazy thing.”
“Please, get a hold of yourself, Dr. Clemmons, and tell me the problem.” Jan Turner sat back in her chair and put her feet up on the desk. She couldn’t wait to hear what the little lady had done.
“She found out that I had a boat in the Caymans. She flew down there and stole it, that’s what she did.”
“Stole it, sir? How did she accomplish this?”
“That doesn’t matter. The marina actually gave her the keys, and she took it. But it was my boat. That’s bad enough, but wait until you hear the rest, she--” his voice broke, “she took it to Montserrat and the volcano erupted, and my boat is lost. The fucking bitch killed my boat.”
Jan Turner coughed loudly to cover her snort of laughter. �
�A boat can’t be killed, sir. It’s an inanimate object. But I get the picture. I assure you that we will look into this right away. If she took a boat that belongs to you and destroyed it, charges will be filed.”
“Good.” He sighed with relief. “The only problem is that her name was also on the boat’s registration.”
“Are you telling me the boat belonged to both of you?”
“On paper. But it was my boat.”
“Then it seems as if she took the paper part, the part that was hers, and sailed it to Montserrat. Good luck retrieving your half, sir.”
Jan Turner used her coffee cup to salute the wife who wasn’t in the office, but whose unseen presence filled it. ***
Maddi checked her watch. Ten more minutes on the stair-master would leave her just enough time for a quick shower before her class. She had enrolled in Rutgers for the fall semester, and it was both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. Studying was new to her, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d written anything harder than a driver’s license exam.
Stepping off the stair-master, she wiped it down for the next person. Then she mopped her face and the back of her neck, and took a long sip from the water bottle she carried around with her like a second skin.
As she turned to leave, she saw Brian Hamel, her English professor and counselor. She’d had to spend quite a bit of time with him at the beginning of the semester to figure out how many credits she had, and what she’d need for a degree. She ducked her head, hoping he wouldn’t see her.
Brian was a lanky young man with longish blond hair, an affable grin, and wholesome good looks. But he was at least ten years her junior, and had a crush on her.
“Hi, Maddi. I was hoping to catch you. You always leave right after class, and I never get a chance to talk to you alone.”
Good point. Now you’re getting it.
He flicked his hair in place, a nervous habit rather than an affected one. “I was wondering if we could get together afterwards. Maybe go for a coffee or grab a bite to eat?”
“Oh, come on, Brian. I’m nearly old enough to be your mother.”
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