Adam leans on the back of Lorrell’s chair. “You have one?”
Fernan grins. “Nope, but we know where to find one. Although, we don’t have a pilot who can fly it. That’s where you come in.”
“You’re telling me that you’ve not got a single TORO in your ranks?” Rafe interrupts.
“We did have a couple, but they’re either dead of captured.”
Adam still studies the images on the screens. “How do we get it?”
“We know of one in another detention centre. We believe it is there for maintenance. We want it. How many TORO do you have in Shift?” Fernan asks Rafe. “If we could acquire more such vehicles, we could do with more capable bodies.”
Rafe shakes his head. “None what so ever.”
She looks to Adam and the two TORO in confusion.
“I am not a Shift member. I’m the chief of TORO Squad. I have one hundred and seven TORO soldiers under my command.”
Fernan laughs out loud. “Oh, that is beautiful. Towley’s war monsters have formed their own super army. I think this allegiance will work out very nicely.”
Rafe makes a noise in his throat. “That is yet to be seen.”
“Indeed,” Fernan grins. “But don’t worry, you get to prove yourselves to us tomorrow when we take that detention centre.”
Oh, she has a brass neck.
“Tomorrow?” Rafe’s face is quite the picture.
Adam just snorts quietly in disbelief at her gall. I don’t think even he knows how to process this information right now.
“We made a deal,” Fernan says, heading into the vestry. “We’ll help you if you help us liberate the centres. Our allegiance starts tomorrow.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Jude wakes me at sunrise and hands me a bowl of slop. Apparently, it’s some kind of watered down oats laced with a vitamin supplement like those given to the elderly or sick. Fernan wasn’t lying when she said they had food supply issues.
Adam hunches over maps and papers on the floor at the far end of the chapel. Bo sits with him, concentrating just as intently. Fernan stands beside them, tapping at certain things with her cane, and they both nod along with whatever she is saying. Rafe is asleep in the chair beside them. Adam hasn’t slept. I just know he hasn’t.
Jude offers him breakfast, but he refuses, turning his attention back to the papers.
“Please, eat something,” I say, rubbing his shoulders.
He takes my hand and kisses it. “I need to memorise this. I’ll eat later.”
“If you’re eating later, when are you going to sleep?” He looks up at me, and I raise an eyebrow. “You’re exhausted.”
“I’ll sleep when it’s over.” He draws circles on the map in front of him in red pen. “We’re not prepared enough as it is. We have to work with these strangers and not our own people, and you’re going in there too. I need to do this right, Baby,” he says into my mind, keeping his eyes on the work in front of him.
I place the bowl down beside him. “Eat and work,” I say, kissing the top of his head.
The E.N.C members must find our relationship fascinating because they watch the exchange between us with curiosity. Perhaps they’re seeing the real Teddie Leason and Adam Lovick and we’re shattering their illusions. I hope so. Added expectation is just extra weight on our shoulders.
Shana watches me from the corner. She smiles and offers an unsure wave. I wave back, but don’t go to her. She looks away when Leoni wraps an arm around me. If anything, Shana looks sad. That’s the only word for it- sadness. She feels replaced, even though she didn’t have a proper role to begin with. I always came second place to the booze, and I can’t help but think of it as a taste of her own medicine. Silly and petulant, I know.
“Rafe would only go to sleep if I promised to make sure that you trained all morning with Cooper and Vin. They are waiting for you outside,” Leoni says, straightening my crumpled t-shirt. “Have you had something to eat? Drink?”
“Yes and yes,” I kiss her cheek. “Just make sure that son of your eats something before he burns out. If you can get him to take a nap, you’re a miracle worker.”
“I’m on it,” she says, beelining for Adam.
The mist of last night has burned away in the crisp, morning sunlight. With the trees blocking the wind, you could be mistaken in thinking it was the height of summer. Cooper and Vin knock seven bells out of each other in a shady part of the clearing, and only call it quits to take a pop at me.
I’m a sweating, aching mess by the time they’ve kicked my ass. Every time I train with the experienced fighters, I feel that little bit more experienced myself. Learning something new every session is exactly why I enjoy them. Well, I have to take something away from the ass whooping, don’t I?
Shana came out to watch and sits on a tree stump in the sunshine. She hasn’t looked to speak, so I faze her out and concentrate on the task at hand. It takes all of my control to not turn and judge her reaction at what I am now capable of. I haven’t used my abilities in front of her yet, but watching me practise the manual combat skills I have learnt from my time at Shift is probably quite a shock for her.
A rumble of vehicles draws our attention to the woodland. Two large, military-style buses roll to a stop outside of the chapel. Fernan, Adam, and Rafe step out into the bright clearing, and at least thirty E.N.C members disembark the first bus upon command. Every pair of eyes falls on me as Fernan greets each individual person. She offers a brief introduction which mainly includes flashing me and Adam about like golden tickets, and then sets her people to pitching tents.
“They’re the best of the best fighters from her numbers. She calls them the A Squad,” says Shana’s voice behind me. “She doesn’t let me in on any discussions, but I can listen well enough. That’s all I have done these past few months, listen to any scrap of information to find out more about you. When the government said that you had died…” She shakes her head rapidly. “Fernan discovered me in one of her safe houses a few weeks before that, and she let me stay to use me as a bargaining chip. She was going to kick me out when the announcement was made of your death, but you are no suicide bomber, and I would not hear of it. I explained the situation with your Dad and Isaac to her. I explained that Towley is a liar and that he knows that Isaac Woodman is not your father. He was just using you to discredit EVO. She listened to me and did some research, or at least Lorrell did. They didn’t think you were alive, but she wanted some leverage against Towley. That was when they discovered that the Techs at Syndicate were searching for Shift members who had apparently disappeared straight after your death. Fernan decided to test Syndicate’s knowledge and sent some kind of file. That was the last I heard until they were swabbing my mouth.”
“When Dad was dying, where were you?” It comes out a lot more bitter than I intended, but I guess the words tasted that way. “Roscoe had contacted you, so you knew what was coming.”
“I thought he was one of Isaac’s cronies trying to scare me. Isaac was insistent that I hand you over to him for protection. He said the D.N.A test came back positive, but I knew that it couldn’t be true. He was lying about something. I could smell it a mile away. That night, I woke up in the downstairs toilet. I must have been totally out of it. The front door was open and engines were running in the yard. There was an explosion… helicopters, gunshots. I wasn’t sure what was happening. It was when I saw your empty bed that I knew the government threat was real. Roscoe was at the bottom of the stairs when I came down. He shot at me. I remember falling to the bottom, and then he just left.” She rubs at a scar on her neck.
“He thought you were dead when he left.” That’s why Yvette heard talk of a body clean up. Did she actually know that Shana had survived? Did Isaac? Roscoe would have known for sure.
Shana wrings her shaking hands, her temper rising at the memory. “He just skimmed me, but I knew they’d be back. I just ran. You didn’t stand a chance either way. You had two snakes after you. Isaac got to
Rob. I couldn’t make your Dad listen. He wouldn’t see sense. I had to get him away from you before he destroyed you himself. That’s why I kicked him out.”
My fists clench. “Don’t!” Shana flinches at the word. All chatter ceases around us. “Do not blame Dad! He had no idea about Isaac. He died thinking that man was my father because of your lies! He thought he was getting me to safety.”
“I know you worshipped your Dad, and I know why you’re insistent on putting all the blame on me now. It’s easier for you to handle a betrayal from me.”
“Dad made one mistake. He didn’t betray me.”
“Neither did I!” she screams, grabbing my arms and shaking me. “I made a mistake too. That’s all it was- a mistake. I didn’t see the threat for what it was. If you blame me for it, then you have to blame him too.”
I laugh. “I don’t blame you for what happened that night, but I blame you for the nineteen years leading up to it. That, I can never forgive, but do you really want forgiveness from the freak?” She backs away as I step up to her. “Isn’t that what you used to call me? I expect you don’t remember, seeing as you were never sober. The night Dad died, he told me that he only stuck around for me. He didn’t love you, yet he loved the freak - the EVO you weren’t - and that twisted you up inside, right?” Her hand meets my cheek with more strength than she looks capable of. The sting bites at my skin, and the sound pierces the stunned silence around us. “There she is,” I shout to the gathering crowd. “I was worried we lost you there for a moment.” Marching off, I call over my shoulder, ‘Somebody get this woman a drink.”
Slamming the vestry door behind me, I bend over, hands on knees, and try to catch my breath. That all too familiar ball feels wedged in my throat.
Jude rushes in behind me, holding his hands open in disbelief. “What the hell, Princess? She’s trying to be better!”
I don’t look to explain myself to someone who can never know or understand the full story. Slumping down into Fernan’s chair, I close my eyes and try to forget.
Rafe barges in, pointing a finger at Jude. “Don’t you dare come in here and treat her feelings as invalid. Shana was no mother to her, and there are certain things that have to play out before they can move forward.”
“Get your damn finger out of my face,” Jude snaps. “This should be discussed privately, not like that. She’s sober. She’s trying. We have to help her, not isolate her more!”
“I see that, but this isn’t about you and I. She had no right to lay a hand on her!” Rafe roars.
“No, she didn’t,” Jude agrees. “But you pushed her, Princess. Give her a second chance, please.”
I pretend not to hear. “Go away,” I mutter.
As they continue arguing in a never-ending circle, a gentle hand strokes my head and a familiar aura replaces the pain in my chest.
“Both of you get out,” Adam bellows. He holds the door open for them to leave.
They skulk out with their tails between their legs.
I rest my head on my knees. “Why did I do it?” I sigh.
“Because you are hurting.” He hands me a cup of water. “And deep down you know that she’s right. It’s neither Shana’s nor your Dad’s fault, yet you blame her for his death. You blame her when Towley, Roscoe, and Isaac hold the blame for this whole mess. Shana’s just as much a victim as you and Rob.”
“She made my life hell,” I snap, shooting to my feet.
Adam steps in front of the door to keep me from fleeing. “I never said she didn’t, and she deserves that blame. I’m talking about your parents not being prepared for the shit storm that came their way. Teds, neither of them betrayed you, and Shana’s words won’t tarnish your Dad’s memory. You can’t keep blaming her for something that neither of them could have predicted.”
The truth smacks me right in the chest, and I bury my face into my hands and cry. “My Dad made a mistake,” I weep. “It couldn’t be helped. I’m scared that I will start blaming him like I blame her.”
Adam holds me to his chest. “You won’t, because your Dad was doing what he thought was best to keep you safe. Shana did what she thought was best to keep you safe in her own way. Two of the people who are truly responsible have paid their dues. Now, we make sure the third answers for what he has done to you, to your family, to my family, to us all.”
The floorboards creek, and Shana’s mass of red, wiry hair pops into the room. She tucks her hands up inside her sleeves and chews at her thin lips. “I’m so sorry, Teddie,” she sobs.
That woman has never said those words to me before and the impact is phenomenal. Another wail rips from my throat. Allowing Shana to embrace me is the weirdest sensation.
“I don’t know where we go from here. I don’t know where your head is at, or who you are.”
“We go from the truth. I resented you. I’m so sorry, but it’s true. I resented you.” She kisses my head, squeezing me tighter in her arms. “Ordinary wasn’t special when I was growing up. I didn’t fit. I wanted a normal family all of my own. I wanted someone to look at me like I was special and I thought that would be my child- you. You were so special, so unique, and I resented you for it. I let it make me sick. I’m so sorry, Teddie.”
“You just had to be present. Dad struggled with the reality of me, but he was present and he was my world. You didn’t earn that as a mother, not even close.”
She wipes her eyes on the back of her hand. “I know, but let me try now. Let me prove it to you. Just… please, let me prove it to you.” The desperation in her face catches me off guard.
“What do you think you’ll be proving?”
She wipes a hand over my cheek. “That I love you. That I think you’re a remarkable, brave, young woman, and you’ve had to become so all by yourself. Let me prove that I see that, and I’m sorry for that, and that I want to be here for whatever lies in store for you.”
I nod. “Okay.” I was happy to leave Shana as a ghost, and now… and now, I don’t know about the ‘and now’. She has a lot of proving to be getting on with. “Okay,” I say again with more conviction.
The relief seems to knock years from her face, even her posture is lighter. “Thank you,” she says, wiping at my eyes with her thumb.
It hurts to see how frail she is and what her sickness has done to her. I’m allowing myself to feel that hurt because she is my Mum, and she is here now.
“Mum,” I say, getting used to the name on my lips once more. “Dad didn’t die because of you.”
She chokes back a sob and places a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you,” she whispers as she leaves the room.
“That could be the bravest thing you’ve ever done,” Adam says, winking at me. “I’m proud of you.”
“I guess I’m kind of proud of me too.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Fernan’s reinforcements are not the friendliest bunch. Keeping much to themselves and barely cracking a smile, they remind me of TORO Squad. Adam takes to them straight away, and they seem to accept him as a leader figure without persuasion. Rafe gets the wary eye, and knowing when to step back, he allows Adam to take the lead.
Seven of the bunch are doctors or similar. They unloaded medical equipment from the second bus and have set up a make shift triage under a marquee. I have to give Fernan her dues, she is organised and on the ball.
Much like Shift and TORO Squad, these people train hard and long for battle. They’re pretty much the cavalry. These really are the cream of the crop, just twenty of a few hundred from what I gather. I haven’t seen any of the E.N.C members who were here when we arrived work out or train. Shana believes that Fernan’s main advisors are not sought for their combat skills, but for their specialised abilities, such as Lorrell. Cal is the exception and acts as supervisor the true soldiers: the A Team who look like life took a really big dump on them. I know that look. I’ve seen that look in those close to me. Despite their intimidating presence, that look comforts me. They know the risks and the consequences. I don’
t like Fernan’s optimism, it’s unfounded and dangerous.
I join the huddle upon request and more personal introductions are made. This time, Adam gets to introduce me and he does a much subtler job than Fernan.
One of the women leans a little closer to me. “You’re not what I expected.”
Fernan scoffs. “Despite what Towley would have us believe, she doesn’t have horns and a thirst for blood.”
The woman shakes her head. “I expected someone polished, sharp and shiny around the edges. You’re a bit of a mess, no offense.”
I shrug. “Little offends me now.”
She grins warmly. “You’re human and that’s reassuring, even if you are coming apart at the seams.”
Am I that obvious? I doubt my spat with Shana helped much in that regard, although I’m happy for expectations to be lowered a little.
“She has reason,” Rafe interrupts.
“We all have reason.” The woman’s soft tone is replaced with one of icy steel. “We’re all coming apart.”
“But it will be worth it,” Rafe adds. He doesn’t exactly smile, but something in his expression sees her blushing.
Leoni clears her throat from the other side of the chapel. She’s not looking in our direction, but I have a funny feeling that she may have been. Adam and Rafe ignore her interruption without a second thought, but her eyes quickly come back to our group- to Rafe.
“Are you listening, Kiddo?” Rafe asks, breaking my train of thought.
“She better be,” Adam warns. I stick my tongue out at him which only garners a raised eyebrow. “Gather everyone. If this is happening, everyone should be clued in on the logistics.”
Fernan gives a high-pitched whistle, and everyone gathers, taking seats on the floor, on the tables and chairs, some even swing themselves up onto the high window sills. Gesturing for Adam to lead the discussion, she takes a seat. Lorrell projects a blueprint onto the wall, and Adam paces in front of it, his torso cutting through the image.
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