I immediately knew Cam was my favorite person here. She patted me on the back lightly just as she took the last step away. She perched herself on the counter and popped a carrot from the tray of veggies that sat on the kitchen counter in her mouth. "Todd, you've had that baby forever already. Five more minutes, and that's it. You hear me." Cam snickered.
The relationship between Cam and Todd made it so easy to laugh. "It's nice to meet you guys, really, and it's nice to see this side of Todd."
"Oh, you mean you were getting sick of the moody bastard? Why?" Cam snorted at her own joke, and Todd shot her a glare.
"Fuck, why am I the only guy here? Where the hell is my brother? Sawyer?"
"Dude, don't swear in front of the baby." Cam giggled.
"It's not funny, Cam. Yesterday Sawyer hit his toe on the coffee table, and I swear she repeated every word." Elizabeth's smile was infectious.
"Uh oh." I laughed.
"Right?" Elizabeth's eyes sparkled with humor.
"Oh my God, she can barely say Mama let alone the 'F' word." Cam rolled her eyes.
Todd's deep laugh resonated through the room, grabbing our attention. The girls looked at him with proud smiles as he peppered Sailor's cheeks and neck with kisses causing her to giggle wholeheartedly. The rough scruff of his beard must have tickled her cheeks. The light color of Sailor's skin next to Todd's tattooed arms was such an interesting contrast. He was so incredibly sexy. The dark gray shirt he wore fit him just right — the short sleeves hugged his biceps, and, with the way he held this little girl with such admiration, I was hooked.
"He's so cute with her." I shook my head as I watched Todd quickly wrap around Sailor's finger.
"He really is. Who knew?" Elizabeth joked.
Todd glanced at me, and I gave him a wicked grin. "Are you ever going to share?" I asked as I reached to take Sailor from his arms. She was heavier than she looked. She was solid, but soft at the same time; her pudgy fingers swatted at my father's necklace.
"Are they still at the job site then?" Todd asked as he started on the veggie tray as well.
"I guess. I haven't heard from Sawyer. They should have been back by now, but he always calls me before he leaves." Elizabeth busied herself with dinner prep. Whatever she was making smelled great. "Colby hasn't texted either has he?"
"He did about thirty minutes ago, said they were almost finished." Cam hopped down from the counter. She pulled her phone from her pocket. "I'll send him a quick text and tell them to hurry their asses up." Cam tapped out a quick text. It felt as if hardly a minute went by and her phone beeped. Cam's face drained of color as she read the text. Her eyes swept the room and landed on Liz, as she rapidly tapped at her phone's keypad.
Liz's back was turned as she stirred the boiling contents on the stove. My pulse started to rush; I could sense something was horribly wrong. I turned my attention to Todd, who was now staring at Cam with unease. They shared a look, and my chest constricted. With Sailor in my arms, I watched everything that happened next as if it were slow motion.
Elizabeth wiped her hands on the towel that hung from the oven door, "Well? Are they on their—"
Liz turned just in time to see Cam hand Todd the phone. Todd read the text and cursed under his breath. The anxiety in the room was profound.
"Lizzie…" Cam's eyes were filled with tears.
"What, Cam? What's going on?" Elizabeth's hands shook, the rosiness from her cheeks gone as she swallowed hard.
My heart felt as if it was about to rip through my chest.
Cam started to cry as she attempted to speak but couldn't.
Todd took three large strides and brought Liz to his chest. I could tell her body was trembling with fear — fear of what no one wanted to say. "Lizzie… Sawyer is on his way to the hospital." Elizabeth cried out, her sobs buried into Todd's chest, her legs buckled, causing Todd to tighten his grip. "He fell off some scaffolding, hit his head. It's bad, baby girl. He's un—"
Todd's speech was strained; he took a deep breath trying to keep himself in check. "He's unconscious. Colby's in the ambulance with him, and they're almost at the hospital." Elizabeth's body shuddered as sobs wracked through her. Todd rubbed his palm up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her.
She pushed away from him with force. "Take me to him…take me to him, now. Please, please God… Just take me to him, Todd." She wiped frantically at her cheeks, but started to break down into uncontrolled tears.
"Let's go, baby girl. Cam grab her bag." Todd's voice was flat. He looked over at me, and it was then I saw the red rim around his glassy brown eyes. "Can you watch Sailor, sweetheart?"
I nodded; I'd do whatever he needed me to. He needed to be there for his friends. "Of course, if that's okay?"
"I could stay if you wanted to go with Todd, Lily?" Cam suggested.
"She needs you, Cam. Come on, let's go. Lily's got this." He gave me a small smile.
"Be careful," I whispered.
He nodded at me as he took Liz's hand in his, and they left quickly through the front door. The rain seemed heavier than it had earlier. I prayed that he would drive carefully. The sound of the rain mixed with the anxious feeling in my chest for Sawyer, and for Liz, was substantial and excruciating. I knew exactly what could be waiting for her at the hospital. I just hoped, for everyone's sake, her news wouldn't be as bad as mine had been on that one, horrible, rainy day.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Todd
THE SOUND OF LIZ BREAKING IN two wasn't something I was prepared for. I almost had to carry her into the hospital. By the time we got there, Sawyer had already been brought upstairs to the intensive care unit. According to Colby, Sawyer fell about twenty-five feet off of the scaffolding he and Colby were working on. They were finishing up a custom staircase banister. Colby couldn't tell us exactly what happened; he was too damn upset to get any real answers to Liz. She lost it when the doctor came out to bring her to the consultation room. At least they let her take Cam.
I was pacing the waiting room as I waited for Elizabeth or Cam to come out of the ICU doors. Every time the doors opened, my stomach churned. The wait was killing me.
The doors opened again, and two nurses who were joking amongst themselves walked out. I growled. "For hell's sake, what the fuck is taking so long?"
"I told you, he's in a bad way, man." Colby sat with his elbows on his knees, his head hung low. "I couldn't help him. I feel like I should have done more."
"What the hell happened?" I asked without blame.
"We were cleaning up… gathering shit. I turned around for just a second, and he fell. He may have caught his foot on one of the cords, who knows. All I know is one second he's fine, and the next I hear him holler, and then, nothing… nothing at all." Colby's eyes glazed over, and he rubbed his temples.
The electric doors swung open again. Cameron's soft cries didn't bode well for the good news I wished for. She walked quickly to where Colby and I were waiting.
"Only two visitors at a time, so one of you can go next." She plopped down into the seat next to my brother. Colby grabbed her hand in his.
"Well? What did the doctor say, Cammie?" He asked with the sound of terror in his voice. I was worried for Colby. This wasn't his fault, but my kid brother always tried to take on more than he should.
"He has a traumatic brain injury…" Cam's voice choked off, and she started to cry again. She swiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. I didn't think I could take this anymore, but then I remembered Liz, and how this was her husband, the love of her life. I needed to be strong for her. "The swelling in his brain is causing pressure, I guess. They rattled off big words, Colby. I have no clue. All I know is that the doctor said he didn't need surgery yet, and the scan showed a small fracture on his skull. They purposely sedated him, and they've got this machine breathing for him. They said the first twenty-four hours are the most important. The doc said they'd be doing more tests tomorrow. They said the way he fell, he didn't hit head first, or t
he damage could have…" Cam's voice trailed off. We didn't need to hear those words.
"How's Lizzie?" It was a dumb question, but I didn't know what else to ask.
"She's freaking out. You should go back, see her… see Sawyer. She'd like that." Cam laid her head on Colby's shoulder.
"You okay if I go back first, bro?" I asked.
"Please, I need to be with Cammie anyway. Shit man, I can't see him like that. I just can't." My little brother looked as if he was about to fall apart.
"Maybe we should head back. Todd, tell Liz we'll head back and stay with Sailor, okay? Your lady is probably freaking out." Cam had a small watery smile.
"Yeah, thanks, tell her I'll be there soon to come get her?"
"Sure thing."
Cam and Colby said their goodbyes to me. We hugged longer than normal, but hell, I guess you never can take shit for granted. Small pieces of Lily started to flash across my brain — her face and the little freckles that made that constellation on her nose. How was it possible that I was missing her already? How could this girl be so far under my skin after knowing her for less than a month? After a day like today, I didn't care. I didn't need a rational answer. Life hands you fucking shit most of the time. So now, when I finally got something worth keeping, I sure as hell wasn't going to let time dictate a damn thing. Hell, we had no idea how much time we had left.
I pulled out my phone.
Me: Just going in to see him and Liz. Cam and Colby are on their way back. See you soon, baby.
She responded quickly.
Lily: Is he going to be ok? You holding up?
She was worried about me. It was wrong for me to feel happy about that right now, but I did.
Me: We don't know specifics yet. I'm fine…
I hesitated before I tapped out the next text.
Me: Just missing you. Leaving in like thirty minutes.
I needed to be honest with her and myself if this was going to work.
Lily: Missing you, too. Be safe.
Me: I will.
SAWYER'S ROOM WAS FILLED with the low hum of the ventilator, the quiet beeping of the vitals machine, and the dripping of the medicine in the IV's. Liz sat next to the bed in a stiff looking chair with her head rested on Sawyer's chest. She was sleeping now — she looked so tired, and her tear-stained cheeks were pale as the sound of sleep exhaled from her lips. I'd been back here for a while. At first, all she did was cry. I soothed her the best I could, but seeing such a strong man like Sawyer reduced to this — it was gut wrenching. The tubes were everywhere. I never thought it was possible for him to ever be in this state, but I told Liz he was a fighter, that I was sure he'd been injured worse than this before, that he was a fucking Navy SEAL. The words I spewed seemed to help, I just hoped what I said was true. She had calmed down enough to tell me she'd spoken to his friends in California, and that they were sending him prayers.
It was not until she had finally fallen asleep that I finally broke down. Elizabeth looked lost. It was like we were ten all over again, and she was crying in my basement about how she'd never see her parents again, how she'd always have the horrible images of their death in her head. I hated that my best friend had to see her husband laid out in front of her, unable to breathe on his own. I was fucking pissed at the universe for hurting Sawyer. Hadn't these people been through enough? What if Sailor never got to know her father? All these questions caused my throat to painfully constrict as I tried to swallow. I hated that these damn tears were building in my eyes. I needed to get the hell out of here.
I swallowed down the emotion and kissed Liz on the cheek. I was grateful I didn't wake her. I leaned down and whispered into Sawyer's ear.
"Don't fucking quit, brother."
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Lily
SAILOR WAS SLEEPING SOUNDLY IN HER crib by the time Colby and Cam got back from the hospital. I'd only met Sawyer the one time, but I was devastated for Elizabeth, for Todd, for everyone. Losing someone you loved was something I wasn't a stranger to; it was like having your sternum slowly cracked open, one small break, day by day — it was agonizing. Colby told me Todd would be back soon. He looked so much like his older brother, but there was enough difference to make them each unique. Colby's eyes were so much lighter than Todd's; you could tell he hadn't ever suffered real heartbreak, but tonight his light eyes were rimmed in red as he mourned for his friends. I was grateful he and Cam let me be alone. They sat quietly in the kitchen. The murmur of their voices, the heat from the fireplace, the sound of the rain against the roof, and the exhaustion of the day had my head pounding. I rested my body on the couch and closed my eyes, hoping Todd would get here safe and soon.
"Hey, honey bell, you're looking so beautiful today." My father's calloused fingertips traced the slope of my nose. "Time to wake up." He quietly chuckled. The smell of Old Spice sifted through my nose, and a small sleepy smile spread across my cheeks.
"Hey." My voice was still thick with sleep.
"Hey, you don't want to be late for your audition, honey."
A small, irritated noise pinched through my pursed lips. Why did my dad always make me feel like a child? It was time to get my own place, and soon. I needed to do well today — to prove to him I could do this. Arcadia College of Music only let in ten graduate students a year. I would be one of them if it killed me.
"Dad, I'm not five anymore. You can't just walk in my room… it's weird. What if I wasn't decent… what if —?"
"Just get up, and quit your bitching…" My father's smile widened. "I just want to see my daughter succeed. I'm excited, so deal with it, honey bell." My dad's smirk was pronounced; the deep laugh lines creased, making me unable to be angry about his invasion of privacy. He just wanted the best for me. I should be grateful he still lets me live at home. Yes, it was my dream, but he was always there to help me flourish.
I felt guilty but laughed at the proud goofy grin my father had splayed across his face.
"All right, all right. Out! I need to get dressed." I laughed; it was crazy how excited my dad got when I actually took his advice.
"You want me to drive you?" He looked so hopeful, how could I say no.
"That would be nice, Dad. Thanks." He leaned over and hugged me.
He cleared his throat, and I noticed his eyes were bleary as he pulled away.
"Shit hon, I'm so proud of you."
My breathing became shallow as I tried to hold in my own feelings. "Love you, too, old man. "
THE SOUND OF TODD'S deep voice seeped through my dreams. The heat of his hand on my face and the soapy scent I'd grown accustomed to surrounded me. "Why are you crying?"
My lids fluttered open, and dark chocolate eyes searched my face with worry. The tears poured freely down my face. The dream, the memory of my father, was still so hard to endure. This night was forcing it all to the surface. Todd feathered a kiss to my forehead as he pulled his thumbs across my cheekbones, wiping away the evidence of my dream. I couldn't find words; the fear of breaking down clogged my throat.
"Bad dream?" He asked, as his fingertips pushed the stray hairs from my face. I nodded.
"Yes… no. It was a memory… I just miss my dad so much sometimes. Tonight, it's screwing with me." I was surprised that I let the tears fall now, that I hadn't tried to get a hold of myself.
"I know what you mean. This night… I just need a minute to fucking breath, to escape this shit." He gently kissed my mouth; the feeling of his lips pulled me further away from the past. "I'm sorry about your dad." The sentiment brushed against my waiting lips.
"I'm sorry about your friend. Will he be okay?"
"I hope so." Todd lingered for a second, his breathing picked up and his nose grazed mine. When our lips met this time, it felt desperate, endless. We needed to lose ourselves.
I wrapped my fingers in his dark blond hair and pulled him in, eager for more. Our lips melded together like they were meant for each other — the soft pull of his mouth against my bottom lip, the sting o
f his beard against my chin, his tongue tasting mine. My body responded to him like an instrument responds to the skilled musician. Todd played my strings just right, and I thrived under his touch, I shone brighter than I ever had before. This was heartache; this night was full of destruction, but this one moment between us, this kiss, played out in harmonious notes. This was music at its finest, even if the room was silent. The sound of his love resonated through my bones as his body pressed against mine. The weight of him was a heady thing.
"I need to be with you." The gravelly tone of his voice caused my pulse to quicken.
"Where is everyone?" Todd's lips trailed down my neck, and his hips pushed down against mine allowing a small moan to escape my lips.
"Asleep… come here." He shifted his body from mine and stood to take my hand, lifting me from the couch. I hurriedly followed him down a set of stairs to the basement. I was still disoriented from sleep. Todd led me to a small room; it appeared to be a guestroom.
"Here?" I almost didn't recognize my voice. The desire to be with him was urgent, but I wasn't sure if this was the right place for this.
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