by Tina Martin
Yes, I can imagine that. It’s been my life for weeks now, Royal thought.
“But isn’t that a true test of love?”
“Yes, but my point is, why start the test? Why get involved with someone knowing I’ll eventually end up either hurting them or not living up to their expectations. Right now, I’m single. I’m not unnecessarily burdening anyone with my health issues—well, except for Gianna, and hopefully, now that she has Ramsey and the baby coming, she won’t be so stressed out all the time worrying about me. She has her own life now.”
“I see,” Royal said, but it bothered him that she hadn’t once considered he actually cared about her, and even though they weren’t involved, they had grown close. And what did she mean by not wanting to put anyone through the burden of driving her back and forth to the doctor because for the last three months, that was his job and it wasn’t a burden. He wanted to do it. “Earlier, I asked you to think of something you would like to do with your life.”
“Right…um…I couldn’t come up with anything.”
Royal felt a pang at his temples. “Are you telling me you have no passion? No goals?”
“I don’t.”
“That’s absurd.” He wiped his mouth.
“No, it’s not,” she told him. “For the last two years of my life, I’ve been waiting to—to die.” Her voice cracked. “What’s the point of having goals when you know you’re not going to live long enough to fulfill them?” She stood up and excused herself to the bathroom.
“Gemma,” Royal said, turning around in his chair to call after her, but she kept on walking.
He balled a fist and whacked the table because he didn’t want to upset her. All he wanted was to talk candidly, to learn more about her – the inner her and not only the stuff she wanted him to see or the way she presented herself like she was okay. If she wasn’t really okay, he wanted to know her well enough to pick up on that. And he wanted her to have a passion. What was life without passion? Without goals and something to look forward to? Still, he hadn’t intended on upsetting her in the process.
“Sorry about that,” she said, sitting down again after what turned out to be a brief visit to the bathroom.
He was surprised she was back so quickly, and she looked okay from what he could tell. But Gemma, he knew, had the habit of hiding her feelings. “Are you okay?” he asked. He couldn’t see any evidence that she’d been crying. Maybe she just needed to take a break and reset.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure, Gemma?”
She worked up a smile. “I’m sure.”
Royal turned his arm to glance at his watch. “Let me get the check so we can head back.”
“Okay.”
* * *
At 6:30, it was already dark out. But in a bustling neighborhood like Dilworth where there were plenty of restaurants and bars, the nightlife was electrifying. Sidewalks were filled with people going this way and that way – seemed everybody had their favorite spot. So, they were in good company as they strolled down the well-lit sidewalk back to Royal’s condo.
Royal turned to his right to look at Gemma. She’d been quiet since leaving the restaurant and he knew it had something to do with his line of questioning. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m okay.” She glanced up at a couple of women in workout gear running toward and on past them. “Royal, why do you want me to have a passion?”
“Everybody needs a passion in life. It’ll motivate you…keep you going. It sounds weird, I know, but solving problems for a living is mine.”
She glanced over and up at him, taking in the silhouette of his face. “At least you know that. What I was trying to tell you in the restaurant was, I never took the time to have a passion because I truly didn’t think I would live long enough to ever be anything. My doctor told me I had two months to live.”
Royal grasped her left hand into his right. “Yet, you’re still here.”
Their eyes met, smiles grew when they looked at each other. They took a few more steps and Royal became hyper-aware of her hand in his grasp. It felt good holding her hand especially since he’d already considered her his. And she wasn’t the least bit nervous. She was just being herself. They were being them.
“When we were talking about relationships earlier, you said you had nothing of value to offer anyone,” Royal said.
“I—”
“Wait, wait, wait—let me finish,” he told her, applying gentle pressure to her hand.
“Okay. Proceed.”
“You have value and plenty of it. You fought cancer and won. Do you know how valuable you are to people who are going through the very thing you went through? You have a message of hope. You are a walking billboard of hope for a lot of people, Gemma, and not just in instances of people going through cancer, but any kind of trial life throws at them, you know.”
Gemma nodded. “You’re right. I never looked at it that way.”
“You really need to. And stop being so hard on yourself. You are an amazing woman.”
Amazing. She grinned a little.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You. You sound like an old man giving me pieces of wisdom and you’re only twenty-five.”
He lazily kicked a pebble along their path and said, “Funny you should say that. Mother says I’m young in the face but she swears I have an old soul.”
“She’s right, although I will say it’s the beard that makes you look older.” And ruggedly handsome.
“I’ve heard that a time or two.”
“So, is your mother right? Do you feel like an old soul?”
“Sometimes.”
They turned the block and were now on his street.
“While you were napping today, I was brainstorming…trying to determine what kinds of activities you might find interesting and I came up with something.”
“Which is…?”
“Becoming a volunteer at the children’s cancer center here…offering hope and support to young victims of cancer.”
“Wow. Volunteering…that’s actually a really good idea.”
“And while you’re doing that, you can also find our first patient for The Gemma Jacobsen Foundation once we get that off the ground.”
Gemma glanced over at him and said, “Stop.”
He smiled. “What?”
“You’re going to make me cry.”
“Don’t do that,” he told her as they headed up the stairs. He wasn’t left-handed by any means, but he wasn’t about to let her hand go to unlock the door, so he used his left hand instead, holding her hand still as they walked inside. “Did you pack your bag already?”
“For the most part. I only have a few more items to put in it.”
“Okay,” he said. He wasn’t ready for her to leave, but he knew he had to take her back home.
“Hey, do you want to let my hand go so I can do that?” she asked, amused.
“You could just stay with me one more night.”
“Oh, please. I know you’ve had enough of me. And, you have to work in the morning and I need to go check on Gianna.”
“Why do you need to check on Gianna? Ramsey got that locked down.”
“Exactly. That’s why I need to check on her.” Gemma grinned. “I’m kidding. I trust Ramsey with my sister. I just miss her and don’t tell her I said that.”
Royal smiled. “I won’t.” He released her hand finally.
“Okay. Let me get my stuff. I’ll be ready in about ten minutes.”
Royal stood there watching her walk down the hall and toward the guest bedroom, thinking of how quickly their time together passed. He didn’t want her to go, but what choice did he have?
Chapter 5
On the drive to Lake Norman, Gemma reclined her seat and pretended to be sleeping, but all she could think about was Royal. He said it in a joking way, but somehow she knew he didn’t want her to leave. He would’ve been perfectly okay with her staying for another day. Week. Maybe
even a month. But why? And why did he want to know her deeper? To know the inner workings of her? To go below the surface, he’d said. Could it actually be that he was interested?
With her eyes still closed, she smiled. Nah. No way. There’s no way a man as fine, sexy and charming as him could be remotely interested in me. He’s just being nice to me because he feels sorry for me…sorry that my life has been so drab for so long. That I had cancer. That he didn’t put his troubleshooting skills to work to diagnose my temperature spike. Still, that doesn’t equal interest…
Or, it could have just been the way he was – friendly. He knew they would see each other regularly since she lived with Gianna and Ramsey. Why not develop a friendship? Why not get to know her? Then again, Regal and Romulus weren’t trying to know every aspect of her life. They seemed to be okay with the occasional small talk. Royal, however, was completely different. He wanted to know her. Talk to her. Be with her.
Royal glanced over at Gemma. Was that a smile on her face, and if so, had she gone to sleep that fast? Was she dreaming? If so, what was she dreaming about? Dang, he had it bad – wanted to know everything about her. In his twenty-five years of life, he couldn’t recall ever wanting to know everything about a woman. Even his last girlfriend – the woman who had the whole package as he described – wasn’t enough to keep him. He’d broken it off with her because it wasn’t what he wanted. And he’d done the same with the two, semi-long term relationships he had before whole-package-girl – broke it off.
He had specific tastes when it came to women, and in his mind, he imagined every man did. But his went like this – she had to be beautiful – not society’s standard of beauty, but beautiful in her own way with her own unique characteristics. There was nothing like staring into the face of a beautiful woman he loved. And his ideal woman had to have drive. Ambition. He didn’t want a lazy, unmotivated woman. He wanted someone with the same work ethic as him. Additionally, she had to be sweet – a genuinely good person at heart. He could thank his mother for instilling that attribute in him. Bernadette St. Claire was the sweetest woman he knew. All of his brothers loved and had a healthy respect for their mother, but being the youngest, he was the closest to her – the last one to leave home. He truly appreciated all the talks she’d had with him about life. It made him realize what he wanted out of life, especially when it came to love.
He looked at Gemma again. She was skinny in his opinion although she still had a tight little body and a plump apple bottom. She wore size eight clothes, and the woman didn’t have enough energy to do much of anything. He knew it was her body’s way of making her slow down as she was still recovering from the surgery, but he somehow wished he could help speed up the recovery process.
One step at a time, Royal.
He had to remind himself of that because the truth of the matter was, Gemma almost didn’t make it. Before he came into her life, Ramsey was already with Gianna and aware of Gemma’s diagnosis. If Ramsey hadn’t stepped in and used his money, power and influence to get Gemma to the right doctors, she probably wouldn’t be here today. He would be forever grateful to his brother for the care and concern he showed to her.
When he pulled up in Ramsey’s driveway, he palmed Gemma’s thigh and squeezed it. “Gemma, we’re here.”
She opened her eyes and stretched until her hands touched the roof of the car. “That was quick.” Still reclined, she yawned and said, “Do I have to get out?”
“Yes. You’ll get a cramp in your neck if you stay in that position.”
“Alright, alright.” She clicked off her seatbelt, then pressed the seat adjustment button to raise the seat to an upright position. After stretching again, she opened the door and got out. Stretched her body some more.
“Am I going to have to carry you to the house?” Royal asked.
“No.”
“Stretch one more time and I’m throwing you over my shoulder.”
“You ain’t gon’ do nothing.”
He cracked a corner smile. “Try me. You’re already as light as a feather. It wouldn’t take nothing for me to scoop your lil’ butt up.”
Gemma faked a yawn and extended her hands in the air like she was actually stretching.
“Okay, that’s it,” Royal said.
Before he could get to her, she took off jogging for the front stairs. He was right on her heels with her bag.
“You better run.”
She was giggling as she ran up the stairs, to the opened door where she saw her straight-faced sister. “Gianna!” Gemma said excited, embracing Gianna.
“Don’t Gianna me,” Gianna said hugging her back and at the same time, watching as Royal ascended the stairs. She glared at him.
He smiled. It took a special kind of person to hug someone and mean-mug someone else at precisely the same time.
When she released Gemma, Gianna asked, “Royal, what have you been doing to my sister?”
Royal chuckled. “Doing to your sister?”
“Yeah.” Gianna crossed her arms. “What have you been doing to my sister?”
“Nothing much. I’ve been taking good care of her. Right, Gem?”
“Yep,” Gemma said.
Gianna glared more as Royal approached her.
“And how are you, Gianna?” he asked, hugging her even though her arms were still folded over her chest.
Gemma had since gone inside of the house.
“I’m fine now that I know my sister is okay.”
Royal released her. “I know how to take care of Gemma. You have absolutely nothing to worry about when she’s with me.”
“Okay, but the next time you want to take her, can you run it by me first?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Royal said with a smirk on his face.
Ramsey stepped out onto the porch and wrapped his arms around Gianna from behind and said close to her ear, “Baby, why don’t you go ahead and go back inside. It’s a little chilly out here. I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Okay,” she said.
“Ay, I’m not going to stay long,” Royal told them. “Let me put Gem’s bag in the foyer.”
He stepped inside right behind Gianna placing Gemma’s bag on the floor.
Gianna continued on toward the kitchen, leaving the two men in the foyer.
“How was it?” Ramsey asked Royal.
“How was what?”
“Having a woman over at the bachelor palace?”
Royal chuckled. “I’ve had women at my place before, Ram. Plenty of ‘em.”
“I’m sure you have, but by your own admission, there’s something different about this particular woman.”
Royal cracked a smile, one he couldn’t much help. “I’ll talk to you about that tomorrow. Let me say goodnight to Gemma and get going or you won’t see me tomorrow. It’s already late.”
Royal jogged upstairs and walked down the hallway toward Gemma’s room. When he arrived, he found the door open with her sitting on the bed, taking off her shoes. He leaned his six-feet-four-inch, muscular body against the doorframe and crossed his arms, watching her. “Do you need some help with that?” he asked.
She looked up. Smiled. “I think I can manage.” She removed her other shoe and rubbed her toes.
“I’m getting ready to head back home,” he told her. “Come give your boy some love?”
She giggled. “Give your boy some love,” she repeated, standing up. She walked right up to him and wrapped her arms tight around him. “You’re a trip. You know that?”
“You’re one to talk,” he said, embracing her gentle enough to be gentlemanlike but firm enough to leave an impression. “If you need anything, call me.”
“Sure, Royal,” she said as he loosened his hold from around her. Looking up into his eyes, she playfully said, “If I break a nail, I’ll be sure to call you.”
“Why do you think everything is a joke, girl?” he asked, wanting to snatch her up into his arms and hold her there while losing his tongue somewhere in her mouth. He wa
s tempted. Truth be told, he’d been tempted for a long time now, but as he always did, he got ahold of himself and kept his composure. Lately, he found himself struggling with self-control in that regard.
“Loosen up,” she said, balling fists and pushing against his chest. “I’m just kidding.”
“Well, I’m serious this time, Gemma. If you need me for anything, call. Alright?” he asked, nudging her chin up so she looked at him.
“Okay. I will.”
He embraced her again. Tighter this time. “Goodnight, Gemma.”
“Goodnight, Royal.”
Reluctantly releasing her, he turned and walked away, headed back downstairs and spoke briefly to Ramsey before he left.
Chapter 6
“How was your weekend with lover boy?” Gianna asked stepping into Gemma’s room as if she’d been down the hallway lurking, waiting for the exact moment Royal left.
“Look at this…I have a revolving door tonight,” Gemma quipped.
Gianna walked in and sat on the bed next to Gemma. “How do you feel?”
“I’m fine, Gianna. Royal took good care of me.”
“I bet he did,” she snarled, narrow-eyed.
Gemma grinned at the implication of her tone. “I don’t know why you lookin’ all crazy. Royal did take good care of me. He’s harmless.”
“I didn’t know you were going to stay with him for the weekend.”
“Then that makes two of us. It was his idea. He said it would give you and Ramsey some privacy. I agreed.” She shrugged. “Besides, I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
Gianna’s brows raised. “Anytime you’re not with me, is a big deal. I need to make sure you take your medication.”
“Correction—I need to make sure I take my medication, Gianna. Look, you’re going to have a son or daughter of your own in like what? Six…seven months? I can’t have you stressing about me when you have a baby on the way.”
“I’m not stressed. I just need to know that you’re okay at all times. It would’ve been nice to have a heads up that you were going to be staying with Royal.”