“They got in a fight with Mcarthy,” he hedged, finally.
“I know!” Kevin sobbed in frustration. “But why?” He finally took his head out from under the pillows, and, hugging them to him, he looked pleadingly at Matt. “Why did they do it?” he asked. Matt regarded him quietly for a moment, and brought his thumb up to wipe away the tears that were streaming down his little brother’s cheeks. There was no amusement in his expression now. “Please tell me, Matt,” Kevin entreated softly. “I already know it was about me.”
“Kev, this wasn’t your fault,” Matt replied earnestly. “This war between Mcarthy and our brothers has been going on for four years now, ever since Gregg and Steve came in together as freshmen. You inherited it, Little Bro. It’s got nothing to do with you or anything you did. You were just the catalyst this time.”
“I know!” Kevin protested fretfully once more. “But I still want to know what happened.”
Matt looked at him for another moment and then held out his arm. “Come here, Bud,” he encouraged softly. Kevin brushed at his tears and then sat up, sliding into his oldest brother’s comforting embrace as Matt closed his arm around him. “Do you have any idea how proud our brothers are of you?” he whispered as Kevin buried his face in his shoulder. Kevin shook his head. Matt gave a little half laugh. “Well, Bud, Danny doesn’t often utter more than a few sentences at a time that don’t contain your name.” He squeezed Kevin’s shoulder as his little brother’s agitation increased. “From the very beginning of the semester, it’s been, ‘Kevin this and Kevin that. Did you see this? Did you know that? My little brother this, my little brother that. He’s so gutsy, he’s so fast, he’s so smart . . . .’ By the way, I hear you got an A from Merrick? Is that true?” Kevin couldn’t help laughing a little as he brushed once more at his tears and nodded into Matt’s shoulder. “That is very impressive, Bro. That man just may be the biggest hard ass on campus.” Matt was quiet for a moment, not quite sure how to say what he had to say next. “All semester long, Bud,” he began quietly, “Danny was dreading The Meeting. Nobody looks forward to it of course, but I’ve never seen anyone so stressed about it as Danny was, and the closer the two of you became, the more he agonized about it. Ryan and Steve were very worried about him. Then, when Danny found out your birthday was the Monday after the weekend they had chosen, he moved heaven and Earth trying to change it. Every week, he and Steve were looking at the schedule in an attempt to find an alternate time, but nothing good presented itself. Steve wouldn’t move it in the end, and Danny was livid. He and Ryan had already purchased the jersey, and he had been so looking forward to spending the day with you, Bro.” Kevin began to sob harder, and a tender smile flitted briefly across Matt’s face. Fingering the sleeve of the garment that Kevin was at this moment wearing, he pulled his distraught little brother closer, and let his chin drop to the top of his head. The shirt was just over a week old, but it had already seen more than its fair share of wear. Steve had told him he’d gone rounds with Kevin, just trying to get him to wash it.
“The closer the day came, the more anxious Danny was about it,” Matt went on finally, “and by the time the day arrived, he was a wreck. Steve and Ryan tried to distract him with a pool game, but you know how that turned out.” He squeezed Kevin’s shoulder once more. “Danny was devastated to learn that you thought the meeting was a party. Ryan, Sean, and Jesse were trying to reassure him, but they weren’t very smart about where they did their talking.” A twinge of irritation entered his tone. A little foresight on Ryan’s part, as the older of the two brothers, and the one who was thinking more clearly at the time, could have prevented the whole disaster. “They were in the common room, and Mcarthy overheard them. He heard you thought the meeting was going to be a party and that was it. He jumped on the opportunity to bait Danny and Ryan, and after stringing them along, finally announced your predicament to the whole room. Danny and Ryan were, of course, both emotionally on edge by that point and the rest is history,” he concluded softly. Kevin just continued to cry and Matt held him. He had, so far, been mostly successful in his efforts to distract his little brother from the punishment taking place. Now, however, the sounds from the other room were becoming hard to ignore and Kevin clung to him, pressing his hand to his ear in an effort to drown out the horrible noise.
It was just a few minutes later that the punishment finally came to an end, but to Kevin those minutes were long and agonizing. At last, Ryan and Steve’s comforting tones replaced the other dreadful sounds that had been coming from inside the room. Their soft voices were warm and reassuring, and as they floated through the closed door into the bedroom, they had a
calming affect on their youngest brother. Matt kept his arms around Kevin, gently prying his hand from his ear, and holding him close until finally he felt him start to relax. “It’s ok now, Little Bro,” he whispered consolingly. “It’s over.”
“But what about Ryan?” Kevin protested, pressing his face into Matt’s chest.
Matt sighed. “One thing at a time, Bud,” he encouraged. “Let’s just take one thing at a time. Danny’s ok, and Ryan will be ok too. All right? It’s all right.” He held tighter as Kevin’s sobs were renewed in strength and intensity. For a long while they just sat there. Matt had nothing more comforting to say, so he remained silent, and finally, Kevin began to grow calmer once more. As he did, he noticed that the room where his brothers were had grown quiet too. Matt kept a comforting hand on his back as he brushed at his tears and tried to get himself together.
A few minutes later, the door opened and Danny emerged, white as a sheet, with his two big brothers behind him. Kevin, still nestled against Matt, looked tentatively in his direction, and Danny looked back, meeting his little brother’s eyes, just briefly, before he looked down at the floor. Sensing immediately, the awkwardness that Danny and Kevin were both bound to be feeling, Matt kept his arm around his youngest brother and called his other little brother to him. “Come here, Bro,” he encouraged softly, and tears filled Danny’s eyes. He just wanted to get to the bed with as much of his dignity in tact as possible, and his little brother’s presence at the moment was mortifying to him. Taking a deep breath, he started to limp his way slowly towards his oldest brother.
Ryan too bit his lip. He was carrying Danny’s jeans in his hands (Danny had insisted on putting his boxers back on), and as Danny made his way towards Matt, he carefully folded them and placed them on Steve’s desk, trying not to watch the movements that told how much pain his little brother was in. Matt’s brow furrowed as he regarded his two little brothers. Their pallid faces testified to the amount of emotion they were trying to contain and Matt was a firm believer in talking things through. Better out than in was his motto, always.
He stood up as Danny finally reached the bed, and wrapped him in his arms, encouraging Kevin, who looked petrified now, to stay where he was. “You all right?” he whispered softly as Danny snuggled against him and hid his face. Danny started to nod, but broke down in the middle and Matt tightened his arms. “Ok, Bud. It’s ok. Just let it go. It’s over now. Here, come here.” He settled with Danny on the bed as his little brother really started to sob, and placing one hand on Kevin to keep him beside him, he kept his other arm around his chastened little brother, rubbing his back soothingly and murmuring the words of forgiveness he knew Danny so wanted to hear.
Steve and Ryan watched from the side, their hearts in their throats; they felt powerless. Steve placed his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, but Ryan jerked away from him, balling his fists at his sides. Steve’s stomach turned and he looked away quickly, his eyes burning. As occupied as he seemed, the interaction did not go unnoticed by Matt, and it certainly did nothing to help Ryan gain his oldest brother’s empathy.
For several long minutes, Danny just continued to cry, no longer holding anything back as Matt whispered soothingly to him. Finally, as he began to grow calmer, Matt, with Kevin’s help, pulled the blankets back from the bed and gently coaxed D
anny to lie down. “No!” Danny protested as Matt determinedly slipped his fingers inside the waistband of his little brother’s boxers.
“Come on, Bro,” Matt urged softly. “Let me see.”
“No, Matt, please!” Danny wailed as he stubbornly held onto the elastic.
“There’s no reason to keep them on, Bud,” Matt responded patiently. “They are causing you unnecessary discomfort, and there’s no one here you need to impress,” he assured quietly, and finally, letting go with a sob, Danny lifted his hips, so Matt could pull his underwear off of him.
Kevin was so traumatized by the sight of his big brother’s blistered and inflamed bottom, and Matt’s next actions were so business-like and matter of fact that it never occurred to Kevin to wonder about them. His eyes were on Danny as Matt leaned across him and opened the drawer in the
nightstand from which he produced a huge bottle of aloe. Never did Kevin wonder why Steve had such an item, nor did he see any of the other items the drawer contained. He had eyes and thoughts only for his brother at the moment, and anything that could take away some of the intense pain and discomfort Danny was feeling was the most welcome and natural thing in the world as far as he was concerned.
Danny had buried his face in the pillows by now and Kevin shyly brought his hand up to brush the hair from his big brother’s forehead. Danny responded automatically to the soothing touch, so, feeling encouraged, Kevin continued to let his fingers trail lightly through his hair as Matt squirted a generous amount of the soothing green stuff into his hand and applied it quickly and efficiently to Danny’s bruised and burning bottom.
The aloe didn’t do much, frankly, to alleviate the powerful sting, but the act in itself was comforting and it helped at least to take the edge off. Danny was still sobbing softly into the pillows as Matt covered him carefully with the sheet and set the aloe on the nightstand. He then looked reassuringly once more at Kevin. “He’s ok, Bud,” he whispered in response to the uncertainty that lingered in his youngest brother’s eyes. “You can put some more of that,” he indicated the aloe and Kevin followed his gaze, “on him in a bit if you want to, but he’s going to be ok.”
Ryan had been hanging back until now, still fighting with his emotions as he watched the scene around the bed. He had been hesitant to approach both because he did not want to embarrass Danny any further, and because he had known all along that Matt was more upset with him than he was with Danny. Now that the hour of retribution had arrived, he was feeling wary of his oldest brother. As Matt was talking to Kevin, however, he approached the bed timidly on the other side, and sitting down next to Danny, he placed his hand soothingly on his little brother’s back. Feeling his big brother’s touch, Danny began to sob harder and he turned to bury his face in Ryan’s lap.
It was more than Steve could take. He turned away quickly in an effort to mask his own feelings, but he was not fast enough to evade his big brother’s observant eyes. Matt watched as, a moment later, Steve disappeared into the Correction Room and he sighed to himself. ‘It’s time,’ he thought as he looked once more at Danny and Ryan. He waited patiently for another moment or two, keeping his eyes steadily on Ryan as he gave his two disgraced brothers a chance to get themselves together. Kevin, seeing the expression on Matt’s face now, concentrated hard on the floor, not daring to look anywhere else.
“Come on, Ryan, let’s go,” Matt prompted at last, sensing that his little brother was stalling now. Ryan flushed, but finally he raised his eyes and Matt looked sternly at him. “You and I have a lot to talk about tonight, young man. There’s no sense in putting it off any longer.” Ryan’s eyes filled again and Matt felt a pang despite himself. “Let’s just get it over with, Bro., ok?” Ryan nodded and brushed at his cheeks. He tried to stand up, but Danny clung to him.
“No!” he wailed. “No, please!”
“Let go, Dan,” Matt directed firmly. He was in no mood for further dramatics at the moment and, sensing it, Danny did as he was told, turning his face back into the pillows and hugging them close as he sobbed.
Kevin bit his lip and placed his hand once more on the back of Danny’s head. He avoided Ryan’s eyes as his older brother came around the bed to stand in front of Matt, but Ryan called his name softly as Matt got to his feet. “Take care of him, Kid, ok?” he requested brokenly as Kevin tentatively looked up at him. “Ok?” he repeated as Matt took him by the arm, and finally Kevin nodded, looking down again as Matt escorted his older brother towards the Correction Room.
File Thirteen
The Storm Before the Calm
"Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins, but sometimes the trial of extraordinary graces."
-Matthew Henry (Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume).
“I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
-Marilyn Monroe
“Oww!” Ryan complained under his breath as Matt hauled him across the room. “Jesus Christ, Matt! Ok! Let me go!” He tried to pull his arm away, but Matt only tightened his grip as he stopped in front of the Correction Room door.
“Look at me,” he commanded his little brother icily as Ryan tried once more to free himself from his vice-like grip, and with a petulant scowl, Ryan obeyed.
“Sorry,” he muttered automatically as stony blue eyes met his own.
“You are in a lot of trouble already, Little Bro,” Matt admonished, “so, in the interest of not adding to your difficulties, I suggest you rethink your attitude.”
“Ok. Sorry,” Ryan mumbled again with more genuine contrition, his eyes brimming. He hadn’t really meant to resist in the first place. It was just so hard to be manhandled that way in front of his little brothers.
“Ok, then,” Matt softened his tone. “The first thing you are going to do before anything else, when we get in there, is fix things with Steve . . . .” Ryan looked away, chewing his lip. “I understand your feelings about Danny, Bro, but you both brought these consequences on yourselves. Steve had nothing to do with it, and the way you and I are about to talk, you cannot afford to push him away. Do you hear me?”
Ryan was still gnawing on his lower lip in an effort not to cry, but he nodded in response to his older brother’s question. “All right, Bud,” Matt encouraged more empathetically, “let’s go.” He moved his hand from Ryan’s arm to his shoulder as he opened the door and, steering his little brother before him, he once more entered the most forbidding room in the house, pulling the door softly shut behind him.
Steve was slumped at the table, his back to the door, his head propped against his hand. He stood quickly, however, and turned to face his brothers as he heard the door click shut. Ryan was still fighting back the tears raised by Matt’s stern rebuke and Steve’s stomach knotted as he looked at him. Wordlessly, he held out his arm, and his little brother went to him, snuggling against him, and burying his face.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan choked as Steve closed his arm around him, and pressed his cheek to the top of his head.
“I know you are,” he whispered.
“I was just so worried about Danny!”
“I know, Bro,” Steve repeated softly. “It’s ok.”
A long silence went by as Ryan tried to gather the courage to ask the question foremost on his mind. “Are you going to cane me?” he squeaked, finally, and tentatively he raised his eyes to meet those of his big brother.
Neither Matt nor Steve was prepared for such a forthright question. Silence filled the room once more, and Steve swallowed hard as he looked into the imploring blue eyes. That was all the answer Ryan needed. He hid his face again, pressing it hard into his big brother’s shoulder as tears started to streak his cheeks.
“Oh, Ry,” Steve couldn’t help the sigh that escaped as he pulled his little brother closer.
Matt, too, sighed
a little and pulled a chair out from the table. “Have a seat, Bro,” he commanded gently, but Ryan did not appear to hear him. All he had been thinking about, since the moment he had seen it, was that cane. Even as he had tried to focus on Danny and support him, that dreadful implement had loomed behind him, its presence taunting him with the consequences he himself would soon have to face. Now, it had finally succeeded in driving every other thought from his mind, and though he heard the direction Matt had given him, he just could not let go of his big brother.
When patient waiting produced no further success, Steve, at Matt’s silent behest, pulled a chair for himself from the table behind them, and, easing Ryan down into the chair Matt had previously pulled, he sat too. “Come on, Bro,” he coaxed quietly, as Matt took a chair and sat down
across from them. “We need to talk about this.”
“Why?” Ryan rubbed his eyes on his sleeve in a vain attempt to stop his tears. His brothers were still waiting patiently, but he could feel their eyes on him. “What is there to talk about?” he croaked, finally, his cheeks burning.
“We need you to understand some things, Ry,” Steve responded softly.
“I know why I’m in trouble!” Ryan protested huskily. “I got in a fight with Mcarthy! Can we just do this please? And get it over with?”
“Do you understand why you are in more trouble than Danny?” Matt asked gently.
“Yes,” Ryan choked, “because I’m older.” “Well, Bud,” Matt agreed quietly, “that’s true. You are older, and consequently, you should have known better, but there is a lot more to it than that. It’s not just that you are older, you are also Danny’s big brother, and on the night in question, especially, it was your job to be looking out for
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