Her actions made me feel as though sometimes she wished that I didn’t exist, so that she could live a life free of responsibilities and not have to think about how her actions were affecting me. Basically, my mom was an 18-year-old girl in a 40-something’s body. The only visible silver lining in this situation was the hundred dollar bill that she had left on the kitchen counter. That meant that she at least cared enough to not let me starve: I was broke and the fridge was empty. Well, empty apart from a bottle of wine and a few beers. Janis always had drinks on hand.
I was browsing through Netflix and trying to decide on a movie to watch, when the doorbell rang, echoing in the silent living room.
“Finally,” I sighed and got up. I was starving and the Chinese restaurant was taking forever to deliver, which wasn’t that unusual on a Saturday. I took a few quick steps to the door but when I opened it, I was immediately taken aback when my eyes fell on Lucas who was standing there.
“Err, what’s up? Can I help you with something?”
I definitely hadn’t been expecting him.
He appeared nervous and brought his hand up to scratch the side of his head. “Sorry to barge in on you like this...I just wanted to check if you’ve heard from your mom.” His baby blue eyes shifted up at me as he raised his eyebrows.
I couldn’t help but note how boyish he looked when he did that. Why was he so darn handsome and cute at the same time? I pushed the thought out of my head and forced myself to wear a smile.
“Oh..no, I haven’t heard anything yet. Honestly, I’m starting to get a little worried about her. She usually at least texts me back,” I sighed.
Lucas frowned, eyeing me up and down. When his eyes glanced down again, I felt my cheeks turning red. I was wearing a skimpy pair of shorts and a figure hugging tank top. With no bra—of course. My luck. I crossed my hands in an attempt to hide any print of my nipples that might show through the fabric.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said and something in his low, comforting voice told me that he actually meant it.
Before I had a chance to intervene with my automatic actions, I heard my voice filling the silence. “Do you wanna come inside? I ordered a bunch of Chinese food and I think they should deliver it soon.” My voice was trembling slightly but I pushed through. “There’s no way I’m gonna finish all the food by myself. And you were so nice inviting me for breakfast, I guess I’d be happy to return the favor,” I quickly added, still shielding my boobs with my arms.
Lucas’ lips curled upwards, displaying a genuine smile. “I’d love to,” he said and I stepped aside, letting him enter. I closed the door and turned to face him.
“Take a seat, I was just about to watch some Netflix. I’m gonna go change real quick, I’ll be right back,” I said and waited for him to sit down, before walking into my room quickly while pulling down my shorts to prevent my cheeks from showing. I swiftly changed into a looser pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, then got back to the living room.
“Do you want a drink? I think there’s beer in the fridge.”
Lucas turned to face me on the couch with a smile on his face and gave me a nod. My gaze shifted to his strong jaw and I felt as if some invisible force was suddenly squeezing my abdomen in a painfully delicious way—although the feeling occurred a bit lower. Immediately, I blushed.
I could see his gaze skimming over my clothes before fixating on my eyes. “Sure, that sounds great.”
I headed towards the fridge when I heard the doorbell ring.
“I’ll get it!” Lucas hollered.
I grabbed two beers and when I got back to the living room, I saw him paying the delivery guy.
“There’s money on that counter by the door!” I said hurriedly.
The delivery guy waved and Lucas turned to me. “No sweat, I didn’t notice it, so I got it.”
He carried the bags to the coffee table and started emptying them.
“Well thanks. Although this was supposed to be my treat,” I chuckled and helped him lift the boxes out of the plastic bags.
Once we had got all the food laid out on the table, we sat down on the couch and I handed him a pair of chopsticks.
“Let’s dig in!”
Lucas nodded and reached for a box of noodles while I went for the beef and broccoli. I put on a comedy show to play in the background as we ate in silence. I could tell his eyes were catching glimpses of me, while I was doing the same to him in between chewing. The tiny space between us felt electric and I could almost feel his body heat radiating on my skin. I tried to shake the thought away and instead focus on the food and the show, switching between different boxes and sampling a little bit of everything.
“I don’t think I can eat another mouthful,” I exhaled loudly after trying the fifth dish. I placed the box back on the table and reached for my bottle.
Lucas glanced at me and laughed. “We did well though,” he gestured over the half eaten boxes. “That was a lot of food but I think we made some people proud.”
I chuckled, finishing my drink. “You’re right. Do you want another beer? I feel like one.”
“Yes please,” he smiled and I got up to fetch us two new bottles and then sat back down next to him.
“So..,” I began but suddenly my brain was drawing a blank—I couldn’t think of anything to say. My cheeks felt warm as his eyes stared at me without blinking. Finally, I let out a nervous laugh to fill the awkward silence. “Sorry, I’m really bad at small talk. I’m just so used to hanging out by myself.”
Lucas nodded and smiled. “I know exactly how you feel..I’ve always been kind of a lone wolf. I’d say I have exactly one friend,” he chuckled.
“Me too, except mine’s in Florida,” I grimaced and looked down to escape his intense stare. “But honestly, I don't mind. I love this city and most of the time it's enough for me. I love wandering around the streets and discovering new areas.” Feeling less exposed after revealing the last bit, I glanced up at him. “Are you from here originally?”
“Well, no but I’ve lived here the longest. I’m kind of not from anywhere in specific.” He began. “I used to live all over as a kid because my dad was a diplomat. Mostly, we lived all over Europe. My parents are European, my dad from England and my mom is Dutch.”
“That’s unusual! When did you move here?”
“I moved to the states when I went to college and then just stayed here after,” he explained. “Luckily my parents come to visit a couple times a year and I’m not one to ever say no to a trip to London,” he grinned. “Are you from here?”
I shook my head. “I’m originally from the Midwest. But we moved here when I was four, so I’ve always considered New York my home.”
Because he had shared so much about himself, I wanted to do the same by telling him more than the typical stuff.
“I’ve never met my dad. My mom was really young when she had me. She met my stepdad at a diner she was waiting in, and they eventually got married and we moved here. Of course now they’re divorced.”
Lucas listened to my words intently. “Have you ever thought about looking for him?” he asked. “You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal,” he quickly added.
“No, it’s okay,” I gave him a kind smile. “I haven’t. When he heard my mom was pregnant, he left her. And he knows her name and everything, so if he wanted to find me, he could. But he’s just never wanted, I guess.”
For a split second my insides filled with sadness over my own dad not caring enough to seek me out. Before I had a chance to dwell too deep into my thoughts, Lucas gave me a compassionate smile.
“Well, he’s the one missing out for sure,” Lucas said and looked me in my eyes. I shifted mine on his baby blue ones, and I suddenly realized just how close he was to me. I wanted to touch his skin: to feel the warmth of it, desperate to release the electric tension between us.
It seemed as though he was going through the same thoughts in his head. His gaze lowered down to my lips and then bac
k up to my eyes, causing me to bite down on my bottom lip. I was just about to open my mouth when my phone rang, snapping both of us out of the trance.
I cleared my throat. “Sorry about that,” I picked up the phone, looking at it. “It’s my mom,” I let him know before answering. I listened for a minute or so before hanging up and then I turned to face Lucas. “She said she’s gonna be here in ten minutes,” I grimaced and got up from the couch. I leaned over the table and started closing the lids on the little boxes and then stacking them.
“Okay. I’ll help you clean up and then I’ll be on my way.”
All the boxes were closed and in the fridge five minutes later. I walked him to the door in silence and after opening it, he stepped outside but turned to face me.
“Thanks for the company,” he said and smiled. “Again.”
“It was nice. Well, bye then..,” I smiled, giving him a wave.
Lucas looked hesitant for a moment, but then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. It was so sudden and unexpected that it took me a short moment before I remembered to lift my arms up around him. For a few short seconds, my head rested against his firm chest as I took in his intoxicating scent. Without even realizing what I was doing, as if I had been possessed by some unknown force, I lifted my head up and pressed my lips on his, feeling the softness of them on mine. Then, the moment had passed as quickly as it had arrived. I pulled away and watched him stand before me with a stunned look on his face. My cheeks burned hot as the embarrassment washed over me.
“Sorry,” I gasped and shut the door to his face, feeling devastated beyond words. I turned away from the door, swearing to myself internally. Why did I just do that? I messed it up. I wasn’t even sure what had taken over me..feeling my head on his chest and smelling him, it was exactly as if I’d been possessed. My body had had a mind of its own, taking the kiss it had wanted without consulting my brain first. I let out a groan as I made my way into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I couldn’t face my mom, not after that.
“Please don’t let this be true,” I sighed and threw myself on the bed, hoping I could wish the whole incident away. I wanted the Earth to swallow me up whole. I’d just made a clown of myself.
I hope I never bump into him again.
As long as I never saw him again, it wouldn’t be too bad. He’d forget about it eventually. Probably. And hopefully I would too.
Chapter 6
Lucas.
I had no idea what had come over me. Maybe it had been because of Xavier’s words, but I’d gotten out of the cab and my legs had taken me straight to Amelia’s door. It was as if some unknown force had pulled me there, needing to see her again. Of course I wanted to check whether her mother had gotten back. But it hadn’t been just that. What however, now that was the question.
I hadn’t been disappointed, though. I was kind of glad she had been alone, even if that had been inconsiderate of me. I’d been happy to be able to talk to her again. And when she had opened the door, I‘d had to catch my breath. Damn. The way her body looked in those tiny clothes, revealing every single curve on her...I’d been stunned momentarily. Lucky for me, she had invited me in.
I stood outside my door, going over the events of the last couple of hours. We’d had a nice time having some Chinese food together and learning about each other. And most of all, I’d been right: she did seem older than her years. The air had felt..electric.
A cab pulled over in front of their house and I took it as a sign to open my door and quickly sneak inside. I wasn’t exactly eager to bump into her mother. Especially after her daughter had just kissed me. Unexpectedly.
That kiss had taken me by surprise. I’d been only going for the hug—something that was both friendly and innocent. Although, feeling her warm, soft body pressed on mine had brought some not-so-innocent images to my head. But I was a gentleman and I’d pushed them to the back of it. Before I’d known it, I’d felt her plump, rosy lips on mine, bringing those images right back, more vividly than ever before. And then she had slammed the door in my face.
I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and after, I headed straight to bed.
I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. This girl was taking over my entire mind, my entire being. It was as if I couldn’t get enough of her—and I’d almost bet she felt the same way. If she didn’t, I doubt she would have kissed me.
However, something about these feelings felt like a taboo. Amelia was young—there was no denying that. But she was also an adult, who was capable of making her own decisions. Maybe I was just letting the imaginary opinions of strangers get to me. Even Xavier thought I should go for it.
“Would it really be that bad?” I quietly muttered to myself as I turned on my back. The soft bed was working wonders to soothe my nerves and remove the guilt I was unwillingly feeling. I closed my eyes and immediately images of Amelia took over my brain. I fell asleep, dreaming of finally being able to feel her skin against mine, exploring her every curve with my hands and kissing her soft, plump lips as she silently moaned from my touch.
I woke up early the next morning after a night of lust-filled dreams starring Amelia. One thing was for certain: I had to see her again to find out why she had kissed me. I wanted—no, I needed to know if there really could be something between us. If I didn’t take the shot, I’d be guaranteed to miss the chance.
I got up and after a quick shower, I pulled on a pair of jean shorts and a basic white t-shirt. Before walking out the door, I double checked that my dirty blond hair didn’t look too messy—I still wanted to make an impression on her. My hair had always been a bit unruly, resembling a style a surfer would wear. It took way too much of my time to make it look even slightly more put together, and so it wasn’t a regular occurrence—I had more important uses for my time. Plus I’d never been one to enjoy looking too formal.
The morning sun was already blazing, even though it wasn’t even noon yet. The rays danced on my skin as I walked next door, feeling my heartbeat quickening from the anticipation. I shook my arms to get rid of the jittery feeling. It was okay, I was just going over to talk with her, I said to myself internally, steadying my breathing. I raised my hand and gave a few light taps to the hard wooden door. A few seconds later I heard footsteps from inside.
The door swung open and I was taken by surprise when it wasn’t Amelia who stood before me. It was her mom.
I cleared my throat and smiled. “Oh, hello Mrs...,” my voice trailed off when my brain went completely blank: even if my life had depended on it, I couldn’t have remembered the surname.
She looked at me up and down, smiling in a way that was sickeningly sweet. “Ms. Foster. But please darling, call me Janis,” she nodded and fluttered her long eyelashes. “What can I help you with?”
I drew another blank. For a few excruciatingly long seconds, I was anxiously trying to come up with an answer. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? Finally, I opened my mouth. “Oh, I just realized we’ve been neighbors for a long time but I’ve never introduced myself.” I said, feeling somewhat relieved by my believable explanation. “And I’m Lucas, pleased to meet you.” I added and held my hand out to her.
Janis slipped her manicured hand in mine and let out a girlish giggle. “Lucas...I must ask you something. There’s something I could use your help with..a tall man like you,” she smirked. “Here’s the thing. It’s just my daughter and I, as you may have noticed. And I could really use your help with changing this one pesky lightbulb in the living room. Would you be so kind as to give me a hand? I just got my nails done.”
I was taken aback by her surprisingly girlish behaviour towards me, but nodded in agreement. She stepped aside and let me enter their apartment. “I’ll fetch the bulb for you, hun,” she sweet talked and then hurried off down the hallway.
I stood in the living room, processing what had just happened. Either Amelia’s mom was trying to flirt with me or I was imagining things. Although, there was no reason for
her to not flirt with me—she didn’t seem that much older than me. I cringed at the thought internally. How could it be that the girl I was interested in, was farther from my age than her mom? I shook my head in disbelief.
“What’s got you so down?” Janis purred as she reappeared, holding the lightbulb in her hand. She was dressed in a red wrap dress with a white print. The dress was tied around her waist, leaving her cleavage exposed. I quickly lifted my eyes back up: I didn’t want her noticing that I’d accidentally glanced at her cleavage. Janis’ blonde hair was flowing freely on her shoulders and she had red lipstick on. It was amazing how different a mother and daughter could be—both personality- and appearance-wise.
“Oh, nothing at all, just thinking of...work,” I quickly made up an excuse and took the bulb from her hands. “Where do you want me to put this?”
“Right here, hun,” she pointed at the living room light. I walked under it and unscrewed the old lightbulb before putting the new one in.
“Done,” I said and smiled.
“If I’d known it was that easy, I would’ve done it myself!” she giggled again. “Well, as a thank you for your help, could I get you a drink? There’s champagne and wine, if you’d like.”
I glanced at my wristwatch. It was 10 a.m. “Oh no thank you, I think it’s a bit too early for that,” I declined politely.
“A mimosa then? I insist,” she smirked and walked to the kitchen, moments after emerging with two glasses filled with her orange concoction. I had no choice but to accept, since I didn’t want to appear too rude. Hesitantly, I took a small sip.
“Your daughter is not home?” I asked nonchalantly. Janis seemed to get the wrong idea because her eyes flashed from my words. Oh god, no.
“She is not...it’s just the two of us,” she said in a sultry, low-tone, clearly attempting to sound seductive. “I’m glad you stopped by, though. To think I have such a handsome, able guy next door,” she winked and took a step towards me.
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