by Dan Haronian
“How are you?” asked Daio when Su-thor woke up.
“Daio,” she said and coughed. She looked around slowly. “I am in the hospital.”
“Yes.”
She reached for her head. “I remember feeling dizzy,” she said remembering. “I felt tired all day. I should have slowed down I guess. I was working like crazy.”
“No doubt,” he said.
She touched her cheek. “I am burning up.” She looked around her again. The bed to her left was empty, and in the one to her right laid a young girl.
“Where am I?”
“You are in good hands.”
She looked at him and coughed again. “What do you mean?”
“Everything will be okay,” he said and now she could sense his voice was shaking a bit.
“What happened?”
“You will be fine in few days. I am sure of that.”
“When you are sure I start to worry,” she said and tried to sit up on the bed but fell back. “Help me to sit.”
“I don't think it's a good idea.”
“I am fine,” she said and grabbed his hand. She tried again to lift herself.
“You are ill,” he said and gently pulled his hand away so she was forced to lay back.
“Ill?”
“The plague.”
She looked at him stunned. “I caught the disease?”
Daio nodded.
“But I am…”
Daio pursed his lips “I know. We were never infected by it but the truth is that we never knew for a fact we were immune.”
“But…” she mumbled.
He laid his hand on her forehead. “I am sorry this is happening to you. You of all people should have been spared by this damn plague.”
She turned her face to the ceiling. “Take me home,” she said.
“I’d rather you stay here. There are people here to take care of you.”
“I will die here.”
“Don't talk like that.”
She coughed. “There is no cure for this disease. You know that. We give them an oxygen mask and someone to watch a monitor. That is what we do here. We watch them until they recover or they die.” Suddenly she started to breathe heavily.
“Okay, I'll see what I can do.”
She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her checks.
Two days later, Daio's car pulled up in the front of the hospital. Su-thor, on a stretcher with an oxygen mask on her face, was rolled out of the entrance to the waiting car. A few nurses helped her into the car. They handed a small oxygen tank as well.
“Go,” said Daio after settling in beside her. Dug started the car and drove away.
“How are you?” asked Daio setting up the oxygen tube.
“Happy to get out of that hospital,” she said.
“Do you feel any better?”
She shook her head. “Sometimes, but I know it's not real. She lifted her left hand. “I can't feel my elbow. I can’t feel most of my fingers.” Slowly she laid her right hand on her left elbow.
“The Doctor said it's a side effect,” said Daio.
“I know that,” she said and took a deep breath. “I’ve seen it many times. Problems with oxygen supply, with infections.”
“Relax. You won’t have any disabilities. You’ll walk out of this clean.”
She nodded. Not because she agreed with him. She wanted to tell him she was Desertian from Mampas. That she’d lost her innocence long ago, and that his comforting words were as transparent as the window through which she was looking now.
A nurse was waiting at the paved entrance when they arrived. She rolled a wheelchair towards the car when they stopped. Daio got out and helped Su-thor into a sitting position with her legs outside the door.
“Hello Su-thor,” she said. “Do you remember me? We worked together for a while last year.”
Su-thor looked at her “Yes of course,” she said.
“My name is Ashima.”
“Yes, I remember you Ashima.”
“I am going to be staying with you here. I will help you with everything until you'll get well.”
“Thank you,” said Su-thor.
“Come let's get her inside,” said Daio.
He held her up in the wheelchair, and held the oxygen tank as Ashima pushed the wheelchair into the house. They turned the wheelchair when they got to the stairs and Dug pulled it slowly up the stairs while Daio followed holding the oxygen tank and making sure she didn’t fall.
“We moved your bed to the window,” said Daio when they reached the second floor. “You will be able to look outside whenever you want to.”
She nodded, leaned her head against the chair’s headrest and tried to control her breathing.
Daio and Dug got her into the bed and Ashima adjusted the oxygen mask.
“I’ll check you out a bit,” said Ashima. “I don't think the trip was very hard on you, but I want to make sure.”
“Everything is okay,” mumbled Su-thor.
“How is your hand?”
Su-thor shook her head.
Ashima felt the forearm. “Do you feel this?”
Su-thor nodded.
“And this?” asked Ashima moving her fingers along her arm.
Su-thor gazed at her but said nothing.
Daio and Dug stood by and watched.
“I want to find Sosi,” Daio said suddenly.
Dug looked at him and released a sigh. “What exactly do you think he can do?”
“He has a solution to the plague. The Doctor said so. Maybe he could…”
Dug shook his head. “He has no such thing, and even if he does, I don't see how it’s going to help her now.”
“Sosi,” said Su-thor and Ashima moved a bit so she could see them.
Daio approached her. “I will look for him,” he said.
“He is dead," she said shaking her head.
"He is not."
"Soon I'll join him."
"You are not dying and he is alive. I will find him. I promise"
She looked at him. "You already promised once. Don't promise what you cannot deliver." She looked the other way. "And even if he is alive, he can't help me."
Daio walked away from her bed.
“Blindness to things on the tip of your nose,” said Su-thor. She reached her hand to the mask covering her face and turned again towards them.
“What?”
“That is what he told me." She shook her head. "He didn't make sense but…” She took a few breaths, "…maybe it's somehow related to his idea. We are missing something, something that is right in front of our eyes.”
“Something in front of our eyes,” mumbled Daio.
“Of the Naanites’ eyes,” said Su-thor, “Maybe he meant of the Naanites.”
“Okay, so we have even more reason to find him.”
She nodded.
“She'd better rest now,” said Ashima.
“Yes, of course,” said Daio and backed off a bit.
“I will connect you to the infusion and give you some fluids. You’ll feel much better,” said Ashima.
Daio stepped away from the bed, then he and Dug left the room.
“You really plan to look for him?”
“I’m sure going to try.”
“You don't really think he has a solution to the plague do you?”
“I don't know and it doesn’t matter. I am not going to deal with this now. He needs to be here with her.”
Dug followed him to the kitchen. “Maybe we should notify her father.”
Daio looked at him. “Her father?”
“He has the right to know.”
“I don't think he has any rights now, and telling him may only complicate things.”
“Why would it complicate things?”
“Because she is considered a traitor to her people.”
“I am not so sure.”
“Do you know something I don't know?”
> “Nothing definite, but think about it. He is the leader of the rebels so what choice did he have?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he didn’t have a choice but to align himself with his people. That doesn't mean he agrees with them. She is his daughter. He knows she only got caught up in this business because of Sosi.”
Daio shook his head. “In the end you always go back to Sosi. Everything is his fault.”
“That is not what I mean. All I’m saying is that I think we should tell him. Maybe he would want to come here to be with her. At least let him make the call. Maybe he could take her somewhere where she has a better chance.”
“I don't know. I need to think about this,” said Daio
“Of course we shouldn't tell Su-thor about this. No sense in hurting her if we tell him she is sick and he does nothing.”
I sat beside a wide tree, at the edge of a wooded hill overlooking a shallow, green valley. At the bottom of the hill was a strip of tall, heavy vegetation that wound through the valley and disappeared behind the hill. A creek gurgled beneath it.
Steam had risen from the valley two days before. I felt sick. I knew there weren't any large pools nearby, and the water in the creek was very shallow. It puzzled me. From what I remembered Kashir believed the toxic gasses evaporated only from large pools with deep holes at their bottoms. Still I felt sick. It seems that just seeing the steam cover the valley was enough to make me feel ill.
I’d been living in the caves on the other side of the White Planes for a few weeks since I’d discovered them. I only came over here to get water, pick roots beside the creek, or hunt for berries in the forest. Sometimes I walked further and picked fruits from wild trees I found further away from the creek.
I’d come here a few days ago, and this time I’d stayed. I wanted to return to the caves, but I felt too tired for even such a short journey. I think I was simply too weak. I’d lived in the caves because they felt special. They matched my size. I had no doubt people had lived there many years ago. Regular sized people. People like me. As odd as it seems, the caves gave me a feeling of something familiar. Something I could relate to. Maybe it was their unique structure, especially the lenses on the roof of the central cave.
Now I was stuck on the little hill above the valley. The days were warm and the nights weren't too cold. The little shade I’d built and a fire were all I needed. Although I was sure I was capable of building something better, I feared it would be too hard for me. I’d never felt that way back when I built my shack on the hill overlooking the pool. This feeling bothered me. I wondered if I was really that weak or if I was simply being lazy because I didn't really need a bigger house.
The fruits trees were close to the little hill, and walking over was easy. My diet was quite vegetarian but sometimes I managed to catch a small fish. By accident I discovered that the stalks of tall vegetation along the creek were edible. On one of my trips over from the caves I noticed a small mole peeling a stalk and eating its contents. I did the same and found the inner part of the stalk to be so sour that it made my teeth ache. The feeling disappeared after cooking the stalk, and by adding mushrooms I found it made a delicious thick, sour soup. When I added roots from the vegetation near the creek, the soup became as tasty as poor old Moah's.
Several times I saw hovercrafts flying over, high in the sky. I was sure they hadn't seen me. I didn't know if they were looking for me but if they were, such searches were useless. There were countless places like my hill on Naan. If they really wanted to find me, a ground search was the only way. Maybe if they were using their legs more often to survey this land life on Naan would have looked different.
I assumed the plague had erupted already. I still didn't know how much time had passed since I’d left, but I guessed it was long enough for the disease to have returned. Not once had I thought of going back. I’d truly intended on only being gone few days. I cannot explain what was going through my mind. I think I was too scared to go back. Too scared to face the Doctor. Too scared to resume my secret responsibility to Su-thor. Sometimes I got headaches like the one I had in the car when the old Desertian came to visit me.
My life still depended on Su-thor's well being. Yet I realized I cared more about her than about myself. After I’d left, I convinced myself she was safer without me there. Everything that happened on Naan was because of me: the riots, the house burning, Moah’s death, and the Doctor threats. I worried what was next. I imagined someone coming to the remote house looking for me, and accidently finding her room. As more and more days passed and I started to worry that too much time had gone by, I thought that if I went back everyone would be mad at me. Sometimes I thought this was silly. So what? So they would be mad. What did that matter? But I lingered a bit more and eventually I felt there was nothing for me to go back to.
I’d come to realize that I was Su-thor’s secret guardian for reasons beyond simple fear for my own life. If something happened to her she would never know how much I cared for her. But was I the best guardian? Daio surely would do a better job. Besides, keeping her away from the explosives within me was the right thing to do.
Staying away from town was also safer for me. There were no transmitters anywhere here, and I doubted Oziri-dos would make the effort to come all the way from Mampas to flood Naan with transmissions just to kill me. And if he did, I probably deserved to die.
“It comes and goes,” said Su-thor to Ashima, “You know that.”
“Yes, but you look much better this morning.”
“I’m sure it will return.”
“How is your hand?”
Su-thor shook her head. “Still nothing. That I do not think will return.”
“I am glad you feel well enough to joke about it, but don't give up hope. From my experience you are past the peak of the disease. Even if the symptoms do come back they won’t be as severe.”
Su-thor looked outside.
“Do you need something?” asked Ashima.
“I would like to go outside.”
Ashima took one of the chairs, placed it beside the bed and bent over the window handle.
“Be careful,” said Su-thor.
“I’m only opening the window a bit,” said Ashima.
After straining against the weight of the window for a few seconds she was able to lift the handle and open the window. Clear air flowed into the room and Su-thor took a deep breath. “It's not quite like being outside.”
“You still have your oxygen mask on your face. I will leave the window open for a short while because you are not supposed to be breathing this air yet. It is not good for you.”
“It rained yesterday. I heard.”
“Yes, it’s getting to be that time of year.”
“Is there a special smell outside?”
“Not anymore,” lied Ashima.
“I love that smell. I want go outside, just for a little while.”
“It’s too early for that, Su-thor. You will stress yourself too much and the symptoms will come back. You don't want that.”
Su-thor nodded. “Ashima, I want to see the trees.”
“You can see them from here.”
“No, I want to be next to them, beneath them.”
“Su-thor, what's gotten into you?”
“I don't know, I just feel better.”
“Yes, I know, we talked about it.”
Someone came up the stairs. Ashima looked to the door when Dug walked in.
“What's going on?”
Ashima gave him a faint smile and bowed a bit.
“Can I visit a moment with Su-thor?” he asked.
“Only for few minutes. She must remain completely calm,” said Ashima in firmly.
Dug walked to the bed. “You look good.”
“How can you tell? This horrid mask covers most of my face.”
“Your eyes are open and you are looking at me.”
“Yes my eyes are open. Not more than that.”
“And
your tongue is sharp again. Your spirit seems to have come back as well.”
“I am going to prepare her medicines,” said Ashima and walked to the door. "Don't bother her too much. Keep her calm"
“How was your night?”
“Like every night.”
“Still hard?” he asked.
“It's harder to breathe at night. I don’t know why.”
“Nights are hard with many illnesses. It's probably due to the fact that the body doesn't move much.” He nodded, pursed his lips and looked out the window.
“I understand you are now in charge of the house,” she said.
“Ahh, yes. It’s no big deal.”
“It's only the two of you now. You and Daio.”
“It's temporary, you'll see. You'll be back to yourself soon and fully functional.”
She shook her head. "Sometimes I feel death is just around the corner." she said.
"You are not going to die," he said decisively.
"You don't know that. No one knows. This disease…" she sighed. "And if I do survive I won't be the person I was.” she looked down at her right arm as if it had been disconnected from her.
“Ahh, I hired a few people to take care of the trees,” said Dug looking for something else to discuss. “I noticed they are very important to you.”
“Thank you,” she said and looked out the window.
“I thought it would help us too. I mean, if they get to know us a bit and see that we are not that different from them…”
“They, the workers?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure how a few people will make much of a difference but it's a start.”
Dug nodded in agreement.
“Is Daio away in town?” she asked looking for new things to talk about.
“Yes, he met Musan a few days ago and asked him for search teams again."
“Search teams?” she asked.
“Yes, they are still looking for him.”
She took a deep breath.
“Daio went to a meeting this morning with the Secretary of the Commons. It seems that someone has been complaining that the searches are useless.”