by Kayla Carson
Empty glasses sat in front of each of them, and a bottle of bourbon became the new centerpiece. It was clear that Zoe was at least three shots in, but Evie had only just begun. She didn't drink, so whatever brought this on tonight wasn't good. She poured herself another drink, and so did Zoe. I reached for the bottle, placing it on the counter top behind me. Both girls gave me the look, and Zoe flipped me the bird for good measure.
“You have school in the morning Hermosa.” I bent to whisper in Evie's ear. “Should I take you home?”
“You should take me to your room.” She half whispered back.
I laughed, and Zoe made barfing sounds under her breath, causing Evie to fall into a fit of laughter. “Sorry Zoe.” She breathed out.
“Goodnight, Zoe.” I said, reaching for Evie's hand, and leading her up the stairs. When we reached my bedroom, I let her in first, shutting the door behind us. “What happened to movie night?” I teased, as I watched her remove her clothes and grab one of my tee shirts from the drawer.
“I haven't seen you in a year Jake. I just want to feel you. Is that alright?” She asked shyly.
I pulled my shirt over my head, and stripped down to my boxers. Walking over to the bed, I pulled back the comforter, and motioned for her to join me. She smiled sweetly, and slipped in beside me. Her back, to my front, I held her closely. The scent of her hair filled my senses, and I closed my eyes, trying to remember it for when I was away. When I opened my eyes again, I realized that she was crying.
“Hermosa?” I asked gently, kissing the space just below her ear.
“It's too hard Jake.” She whimpered. “It's too long. I'ts so lonely.”
I turned her in my arms so I could look into her eyes. “What are you saying Hermosa?” I asked, trying to keep the pit in my stomach at bay.
“I think. I think we need to end this. I don't want to lose your friendship.. ever, but this just isn't enough anymore. Not for me.”
“Are you asking me to make a commitment? Do you want a real relationship? Is that was this is really about?” I stammered, grasping at straws, and secretly hoping this was the case.
“No.”She said softly. “I'm saying, after tonight, I think it's best if we go back to the way things were.”
The word “no” felt like a ton of bricks just crashed down onto my chest. I tried to keep my expression neutral, but by the look on Evie's face, I could tell that I wasn't. A part of me wanted to change her mind. To tell her the truth, that I had feelings for her, more than she knew. But another part, the part that knew I was leaving in two days, knew that what she said was true. I never understood why people said that if you love something, you should let it go, until this moment. Evie meant more to me than she could ever imagine, and for that reason, I was willing to break my own heart.
I wasn't done with the army, my career had only begun, and asking her to be tied to me at only 21 years old, to make that kind of commitment, it just wasn't fair. I brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and gave her a weak smile. “I understand.” I said hesitantly. “All I've ever wanted, was for you to be happy.”
“I love you Jake.” She whispered, before pressing her lips to mine.
I could feel the wetness on her cheek when she pulled away, and using my thumb, I swiped the lone tear from her eye. “I love you too Hermosa.”
We made love, for what I thought would be the last time that night. And when she left in the morning, I knew what was left of our relationship would never be the same again.
Chapter 11 Now
Twelve fifteen, and Evie still hadn't arrived yet. A part of me wondered if she changed her mind. Maybe she thought my meeting Gabriel wasn't the best idea. I'd already downed two long island's, and was about to order my third when I spotted her. She gave me a warm smile, and headed towards the booth I was sitting in. She was alone, and my heart instantly fell into my stomach.
“Hi Jake.” She said, slipping into the seat directly across from me.
“Evie.” I said, with a curt nod. I was still raw from yesterday, and I hoped like hell today wasn't a repeat performance.
“Gabriel is down at the beach with Antonio. I wanted to talk to you, before he came in.” She said, signaling the waitress, who already had my third drink in her hand. “A little early for a drink, don't you think?” Evie asked, eyeing my glass suspiciously.
“Nothing wrong with a little liquid courage.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“How many have you had?” She asked, in an accusatory tone.
“Why does it matter?” I snapped, angry that she was questioning me.
“Because you're about to meet your child, and I'd rather you not be drunk when you do it!” She snapped back under her breath.
“Whose fault is that?” I spat back. “I wouldn't feel the need to calm myself with liquor, if you hadn't kept him from me in the first place.”
She stood then, looked me dead in the eye, and said “Fuck you Jake.” As calm as if she were telling me to have a good day, or enjoy my bike ride. And just like that she turned, and walked away.
The shame hit me hard, and fast, and all I wanted to do was fix it. Fix things like I used to when we were younger. I tossed a fifty onto the table, and ran after her. I scanned the beach, and when I spotted her, she was holding Gabriel. He had a mess of curly hair, just like hers, and I felt this instant connection. Like she was holding my heart, on the outside of my body. I was drawn to him, and before I knew what I was doing, I was on that beach, sand filling my shoes, as I made my way towards him.
I stopped, a few feet away from them, and Antonio cleared his throat to announce my arrival. When Evie turned to face me, I smiled, and Gabriel smiled back. He looked just like me when I was his age. We shared the same big brown eyes, and our jaws mirrored each other. My smile only grew bigger, when he waved his small hand at me. “Hi.” I said, swiping a tear from my eye.
“Hi.” He said back enthusiastically. “I'm this many!” He added, holding up two fingers.
“Wow.” I said on a laugh. “Can you drive yet?”
“No!” He laughed back, squirming out of his mother's arms.
Evie set him down in front of her, and I looked to her, before sitting down on the sand. Gabriel sat too, and I started to make a pile of sand with my hands. Soon, he started to help me, and we sat, in silence, making our sand mound, as Evie watched on. She waved Antonio away, and sat down beside me. “Gabriel?” She asked gently. “This is Jake. Do you remember the picutures I showed you? Do you know who he is?”
Gabriel looked up from the sand pile, and gave his mother a toothy grin. “Daddy.” He said, as if she should have already known the answer. And then, he climbed into my lap, and added more sand to our pile. I bent down, smelling his hair, and I closed my eyes. My emotions were all over the place. A part of me wanted to scoop him into my arms and never let him go, but I didn't want to scare him. I didn't want to push for too much, too fast. I caught Evie watching me from the corner of my eye,and I just lost it. I cried. For the first time since finding out about Gabriel, I let myself cry.
“Jake.” Evie started, reaching for my hand, with tears in her own eyes. “I'm so sorry.” She whispered. “I know it doesn't mean anything right now, but I mean it all the same. I never imagined it being this way.”
“Not here. Not now. OK?” I asked softly, ruffling Gabriel's curly hair. “Can I just, can we just sit here, and play in the sand?”
Evie nodded, wiping her tears away. “Of course.” She smiled weakly.
“You know Gabriel, I used to build a pretty mean sand castle when I was younger, what do you say we give it a try?” I said, catching his attention. He stood from my lap, and clapped his hands. I smiled along with him. “I think we can buy some buckets across the street at that little shop. What do you think? You want to go over and check it out?”
“Yes!” He yelled enthusiastically.
“Evie?” I asked. “Do you mind?”
“I don't know Jake, maybe we should all go?�
� She said with concern. “He doesn't really know you that well, and he can be handful in stores.”
“Ten minutes Evie. Please.” I pleaded.
“OK.” She reluctantly agreed. “Ten minutes.”
“Come on buddy.” I said taking his hand in mine, and heading towards the shop. His hand felt so small, wrapped in mine, and I couldn't help but run my thumb across it again, and again, confirming that he was real. That I was really taking my son into the store to buy toys. It felt natural, like I had been doing it all along, and that feeling both invigorated, and terrified me. When we reached the busy street, I scooped him up into my arms, and crossed carefully. I probably waited too long for a safe crossing, but I was holding precious cargo.
I set him back on his feet again when we entered the store, keeping his hand tightly in mine. “I think the buckets are this way.” I said, and Gabriel pointed to a stuffed lion. “Rawr.” He said, and I laughed. “Do you like lions?” I asked. His response was another Rawr, so I grabbed it off the top shelf and handed it to him. His face lit up, and he hugged the lion tight. My own face matched his, when we finally found the buckets. He chose a red one, with a yellow shovel, and I grabbed a couple more for Evie and I.
Evie and I. It was the first time I thought about her without anger, and I knew it had everything to do with the little boy I now held in my arms crossing the busy street. I found here where I'd left her, only she was standing now, biting her nails in worry. Did she think I wouldn't come back? Didn't she trust me with my own child? I couldn't ask her now, not here, but it didn't stop me from thinking the worst.
“Who's your new friend?” She asked Gabriel, when I put him down beside her.
“Rawr!” He said, giggling.
“Did you tell Ja- uh your daddy thank you?”
“Thank you daddy!” He said, hugging me tight around the leg.
“You're welcome buddy.” I said, ruffling his hair like I had earlier. “You ready to build that sand castle?”
“Yes!” He squealed with delight.
We spent the next hour working on our sand castle. It was taller than Gabriel, and when it was finished, we walked along the beach in search of rocks to decorate it with. Evie stayed by the castle to “protect it”, allowing Gabriel and I some time together. I knew it was her way of trying to apologize, and as much as I appreciated it, I still resented her for it.
When our buckets were full of rocks, and sea shells, we made our way back to Evie, and the castle. Gabriel got right to work, plopping down in the sand, and placing sea shells on top of the mounds. I got down beside him, and put some rocks around the door, framing it in. “Door.” He said, pointing to it. I couldn't help but smile, he was smart as a whip, and it was clear that Evie had done a good job raising him. I just wish I could have been a part of it.
“Evie?” I asked. “What happens next? When can I see him again?”
She took a deep breath, her hands visibly shaking. “I have an interview tomorrow. Maybe you could watch him?”
“I'd like that.”
Chapter 12 Then
For the first time since my original deployment, I was lonely. Evie still wrote me every week, but it wasn't the same. My team had noticed the change, and they did their best to keep me busy, especially Wes. I met Wes my first year in. I was working at a local recruiting office, signing up potential candidates. We struck up a conversation, and he ended up helping sign around fifty people, most of which were women. We became fast friends after that, and inseparable ever since. I was just promoted to sergeant, and now leading the platoon into action. My orders still came from someone else, but in the field, I made the calls.
Wes and I specialized in special Ops, and today was my first time in the leadership role. We had to infiltrate a known safe house. Our intel told us that an American woman named Nancy O'conell, and her daughter were being held for ransom. Apparently her husband was some kind of weapons specialist, and the enemy were after the formulas he used to create some of our own weapons. It was a simple snatch and grab, something we'd done a million times, only this time, if something went wrong, it was my head on the pike.
I went over the plan with my guys more times than I'd like to admit, but I needed to be sure they understood the risks. Wes, was my right hand man. I counted on him to pull me back, to tell me if I'd gone too far, or not far enough. If you asked me, everyone needed someone like him in their corner.
We waited until nightfall, and the six of us got into the humvee. The ride to the location was a quiet one. Everyone's adrenaline was pumping through their veins. Legs were tapping in anticipation, as we got closer, and closer to our destination. Using our night vision goggles we counted three guards, and what appeared to be Nancy, and her child, huddled in one of the corners. Adams, Butler, Mendez, and Quinn, were responsible for taking out the guards, and Wes, and I, were responsible for getting the hostages out safely.
On my go, we split up, successfully surrounding the small house. I gave the signal, and my men simultaneously fired their weapons. The guards were all down, on the first shots, and then Wes, and I went in. The mother held her crying daughter in her arms. Dirt streaked both of their faces, and the mother's face was badly bruised. I crouched down slowly, positioning myself in front of them. “Nancy?” I asked. “We're with the US army, and we're here to take you home.”
She began to sob, kissing her daughter's head, over, and over again. That's when I noticed all the blood. Keeping my face as calm as I could, I signaled Wes to join me. When he did, he couldn't contain his gasp. “Nancy.” I said softly. “Mrs. O'Conell.” I said again, a bit sterner this time. “I need you to let me take your daughter, alright? Let us help her.”
“No!” She screamed. “Leave my baby alone!”
It was clear she was under severe shock. She hadn't even noticed the blood coming from her daughter's forehead. I couldn't tell what had caused the wound, but I was sure it wasn't a bullet. Wes had pulled his first aid kit from his pack, and shone the flashlight directly on the wound. I wasn't a brain surgeon, but it didn't look good. “Nancy, we're going to clean up the cut on your daughter's head ok?” I asked, nodding to Wes to get started. “My name is Jake, and this is Wes. We're just going to lay her on the ground here to get a better look alright? What's her name?”
“Hmm.” Nancy said, starring no where in particular.
“What's your daughter's name, Nancy?” I persisted, as Wes and I gently laid the child on the ground.
“Anna.” She said, a smile forming on her lips.
“Good. My friend Wes here, is going to look her over alright, and when we're sure she's ok to move, we need to get out of here. Can you walk?”
“Yes. I think so.” She said softly, patting her legs, as if she were checking for injuries.
“Good. Wes here is going to carry Anna for you, but I need you to stay close to me, and move really quietly, do you understand?”
“Yes.” She said nodding, but her hands were shaking.
I pulled her up into a standing position, and placed her arm around my neck. “I'm going to put my arm around your for support alright?” I asked, doing as I said I would. We made it three feet before we heard shots ring out. I radioed my men outside, who confirmed that we'd been spotted. I pulled Nancy down, telling her to get back into the corner, and Wes carefully moved Anna, placing his body over hers. I aimed my gun out one broken window, after another, searching for the direction the shots had come from.
My radio crackled, and a weak voice told me to get out now. I didn't hesitate. I scooped Nancy up into my arms against her protests, and Wes did the same with Anna. On my signal, we ran in the direction of the Humvees. We passed two of our men along the way. They were motionless, laying in the sand. I set Nancy down, to check for pulses, but my radio crackled again, telling me to remember my mission. “Shit.” I yelled, picking her back up and running as fast as I could. When I'd placed her inside, and Wes climbed behind the wheel I instructed him to leave.
“Cruz! Get
in the fucking humvee!” Wes said, putting it into drive. “Now!”
“We have two men down, and two men MIA!” I yelled, over the roar of the engine. “Get the hostages to medical, do you hear me Granger? That's an order!”
“Yes Sir Sergeant.” He said reluctantly, pressing on the gas, and leaving me to my own devices.
I turned my night vision goggles back on, and scanned the area. From what I could see, I was still alone. Quietly, and quickly, and ran back to my men. Adams had a GSW to his left leg, but Quinn, didn't have a pulse. I checked him over, searching for whatever injury had caused this. “What happened?” I asked Adams, who was holding his leg in pain.
“Two shooters.” He managed to grit out. “We took one out, and Butler, and Mendez chased after the other.”
“You've got to be fucking kidding me!” I seethed. “I didn't give that order. Who gave them that fucking order!?”
“The General, he radioed them personally. The shooter's a suspected terrorist. We want him. They think he has ties to ISIS.”
Quinn, had another gunshot wound in his back, and from the looks of it, he bled out. “Fuck.” I said again, crawling over to Adams. I ripped the strap off my bag, and tied it tight above the wound on his leg, making him hollar out in pain. “Sorry brother.” I said, adding another knot to secure it. “You think you can get up on that thing?”
“Yes Sir.” He said, and taking my hand, I helped him stand.
He swayed for a few minutes, getting his bearings, and that's when my radio crackled. “Cruz, where the hell are you?!” The voice shrieked. “Why is Granger the only man enroute?”
“I made a call General.” I said sternly, defending my decision.
“It wasn't your call to make sergeant.”
“With all do respect sir, it was. Now if you don't mind, Adams is injured, and we need to hed back. Quinn didn't make it, and thanks to you Butler, and Mendez, are MIA.”
“Watch your tone sergeant. One day with the label doesn't necessarily make it so. You get your injured man back to base, and you let me worry about Butler and Mendez. Understood?”