Both of them admitting to thorns that had stabbed at them from beneath the surface for so many years.
“Oh, Will, no. No, it isn’t. You’re no different from Henry or anyone else who never got the attention they might have needed. There’s no reason you can’t still learn.”
He shook his head, weary acceptance etched in his drawn features. “It’s too late for that, Hannah. Some things you just can’t go back and redo.”
She turned to him and pressed a hand to his arm. “How can you say that? Henry Lawson is in his fifties. He’s learning. Every day he makes progress. You’re young. And you have your whole life ahead of you.”
“I’ve had my whole life to accept what I am. Somehow I convinced myself it was all right. I had football, and I threw myself into learning about classical music once I got to college. Because of you, I guess. I thought that was one area in which I could be educated, too. At least, that was one class where I did well. The professor let me take oral exams.”
“Why?” she asked softly.
“Maybe he suspected. Maybe he didn’t want to buck the system. Maybe he knew how much it meant to me, I don’t know.” He hesitated, then said, “After my football days were over, I realized what a trap I’d built for myself.”
She watched him, her heart aching for him.
He leaned against the door. “I’ve dreamed of what it would feel like to tell someone. Someone other than a person I had to pay to keep quiet. You don’t know how many times I’ve wondered what you would think if you knew. School always came so easy to you. I always envied you that.”
“You envied me?” she asked in disbelief.
“You intimidated the heck out of me.”
Hannah stared at him. The thought was ludicrous. “Why?”
“Because you were so bright. I hated Tom for having the nerve to ask you out. You don’t know how much I wanted to after that day at the lake. It was all I could think about, but I didn’t think you’d…I didn’t see any way you could stay interested in a guy that.”
She continued to stare at him, thinking how different things might have been if he had had the nerve to ask her out.
At last she said, “Will, you just didn’t get the attention you needed. That’s all.”
“I don’t think so.” He gave a deprecating shrug. “I’ve tried on my own. Self-teaching courses. Whatever I could do without anyone having to find out. Nothing seemed to work.”
She remained silent for a moment, debating the wisdom of what she was about to suggest. But something told her it was right. “Let me teach you, Will. Jenny and I have had such success with Mr. Lawson, I know we could—”
He held up a hand. “Hannah, I tried. I really tried. And it just seemed to get harder to keep up. I couldn’t do that again. No. It’s not the same as it is with Henry.”
“Why not?”
“It just isn’t.”
Filled with a determination she could not explain, she said, “Anything is possible, if you’ll put your pride aside long enough for me to show you I might be right. All I ask is a chance. If you don’t think it’s working, we’ll stop.”
His face mirrored a mixture of desire and uncertainty. “Do you really think it would work?”
She nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yes. I do.”
He blinked and then stared at the floor. “You sure you want to take this on?”
She nodded with more conviction than she’d ever had about anything in her life.
A full minute passed before he said, “All right, then, Hannah. I’ll give it a try.”
And for the moment, she pushed her own problems to the back of her mind, focusing, instead, on someone else’s, a tactic she’d pretty much perfected over the last ten years.
Chapter Fifty-four
And so began a daily ritual for Hannah and Will. With his permission, she’d confided in Jenny, who’d agreed to take over Henry’s lessons completely, allowing Hannah time to work with Will.
She set about her goal with a determination born to help Will, but also to get her own mind off the recent events that had brought the nightmare of Tom Dillon back into her life.
Knowing that Will had been harboring this secret for so many years made her own secret that much easier to turn away from. She realized she wasn’t the only person in the world with a cross to bear. Every rose garden came with its share of thorns. Even a garden as abundant as Will’s.
Of course, she worried about whether anyone knew who Tom Dillon’s victim had been. Through Jenny, who was firmly tapped into the town grapevine, Hannah learned that for a while the gossip floated from one mouth to another. But a week after the fight between Tom and Will, the gossip mill turned to other things, and Hannah was able to put the whole thing at the back of her mind. It had been ten years, after all. She refused to let herself become consumed by it all over again.
Instead, she concentrated on Will and on her desire to help him. She could not explain the satisfaction that came from knowing she might have something to give him. So many things had become clear since the day he’d admitted to not being able to read. His uncertainty about what to do with the rest of his life. His refusal to do commercials.
She wanted to help him overcome that. Give him back something to compensate for what he’d given her. But she was disappointed by their lack of progress after the first few days of lessons.
On the fourth day Will strolled into the library with a pleased look on his face. She watched him stride through the door, her pulse leaping at the sight of him. Crossing the carpeted floor, he leaned across the counter and said, “I’ve got some news for you.”
“Are you going to keep me in suspense?”
“Tom Dillon left Lake Perdue yesterday.”
The words hit her ears, a bomb detonating. She went silent. When she finally spoke her voice cracked. “He’s really gone?”
“He’s really gone.”
“Oh, Will.”
He skirted around the desk then, and right there in front of anyone who cared to look, he folded her into his arms and held her close. “You can put this behind you now. Think you’ll be able to do that?”
She pulled back to look up at him gratefully. “I don’t know. But I’m going to try.”
It was a miracle, really, how Tom’s departure seemed to change Hannah’s life. Since the day Will had confronted Tom, Hannah had been holding her breath, certain that at any moment, the truth would come out. Maybe now she could truly put the past behind her.
The next few days were some of the happiest she’d known in years. She went for a run each morning, pushing herself a little harder each day, caring about the progress she’d made. And Jenny, pleased to see Hannah looking lighthearted for the first time since she’d known her, claimed she was a new woman.
The only unsettling aspect of Hannah’s life was the lack of progress she seemed to be making with Will. With each passing day, she could see his frustration mounting.
One Thursday afternoon, he propped his elbows on the table and rested his forehead on his palm. “It’s no use, Hannah. We’re both wasting our time.”
She leaned back in her chair and sighed. “We are not wasting our time. Stop talking nonsense.”
“Are you saying I’ve gotten anywhere at all these past few days?”
She frowned and said, “Try this line again.”
Will did, but it sounded as though he were inverting certain letters or maybe even reading them backward. Another thought occurred to her. One that had been tugging at the back of her mind for the past couple of days. She recalled the way he sometimes ate with his left hand, then switched to his right, without even being aware of it. The notion that she might be onto something sent anticipation racing through her.
She put a hand on his arm and said, “That’s all right. I have an idea. We’ll stop for today, but promise me you won’t give up yet. Please.”
He looked as though the entire endeavor were pointless. But with a shake of his head, he finally n
odded and said, “Okay.”
Once Will left the library, Hannah got on the phone and made a few calls. She tried the county’s adult-education program first, and after a few specific questions, they referred her to an educational psychologist who specialized in the type of problem she had described. He was located in Washington, D.C., three hours away.
With a shaking hand, she dialed the number, hoping that Will would understand her taking such a step without his permission. There was no point in getting his hopes up. Her hunch could be wrong.
Luckily enough, the doctor was between appointments. She remained on hold until he came on the line with a harried “Dr. Edwards. How can I help you?”
She explained then how she had been trying to help a young man improve his reading skills. She described their lack of progress, along with some of the problems he seemed to be having. She then gave him examples to support her suspicions as to the cause.
Dr. Edwards agreed that it did, indeed, sound as though she might be correct. “But I’d have to see him to be certain. There are tests we administer for such cases.”
She tried to keep her voice even. “When could he come in?”
There was silence, followed by the sound of paper shuffling in the background. “Let’s see. I have a cancellation tomorrow afternoon. Three o’clock. Could he make that?”
She closed her eyes and prayed she was doing the right thing. “I think so. Yes, I’ll make sure of it. We’ll see you then, Dr. Edwards. Thank you so much.”
She replaced the receiver with a mixture of apprehension and joy. If she was right….
There would be time to think about that later.
Now she just had to convince Will to keep the appointment.
Chapter Fifty-five
After work, she drove to Tarkington’s Cove, hoping Will would be at home. She knocked on the door of the house and stood there waiting, fighting a sudden surge of self-doubt. What if I’ve done the wrong thing? What if he hates me for it?
He opened the door a moment later, giving her a weary smile as he mopped the sweat from his face with a small towel.
“Oh,” she said, taking a step back as her eyes swept the expanse of his bare chest. Heat flooded through her. “I’m sorry to barge in like this. I should have called first.”
“That’s all right. I was just lifting a few weights. Trying to burn off a little frustration.” He waved her inside, refusing to meet her eyes.
The last couple of days had been difficult for them both, with Hannah realizing he needed help she couldn’t give him, and Will certain he was incapable of learning. She could see now that he was ready to give up. “Come on in. Let me get a shirt.”
When he returned to the living room, she said, “I won’t stay long. I just wanted to—” She reached for a note of composure, then launched into her speech before she lost her nerve. “I know how difficult these last few days have been for you, Will. I have to admit I was getting frustrated myself. But the other afternoon, I remembered something from an article I’d read a couple of years ago. So I called a doctor in Washington and told him what we’ve been doing.”
“What kind of doctor?” he asked with a frown.
“He specializes in learning problems. He’s an educational psychologist,” she said carefully.
He scowled and said, “Hannah, look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but—”
“I think he can help. He’d like to do some tests on you. I made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.”
Will shook his head. “It’d be nothing but a waste of time.”
“I don’t think so. Please. Let’s just give it a try.”
He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I went along with this knowing it wouldn’t work. I’ve tried before. I thought…it’s just that you were so excited about it that….” His words trailed away.
Hannah was startled. He had done this for her, certain all along of impending failure, yet self-sacrificing enough to realize he could offer her a way to focus on something other than Tom. When she finally spoke, her voice shook. “You mean you did this for me?”
He shrugged and looked away. “I thought it would get your mind off things. And it has. But it seems foolish to keep—”
“You’re right. It did help me. You gave me something other than my own problems to think about. And I’m grateful for that.” She looked down at her hands and then raised her eyes to his, a new determination coursing through her. She was right about this. She just knew it. And she wasn’t going to give up now. “But I won’t be satisfied until I’ve helped you, too, Will. So I’m asking you one more favor. And if you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. I’ll go with you. If I’m wrong, I’ll never bring up the subject again. How’s that for a deal?”
He paced the floor in front of the bay window. When he stopped, he pinned her with his gaze and said, “Anybody ever mentioned you drive a hard bargain?”
“As a matter of fact, no.” Her smile widened. She reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. “But I kind of like the way that sounds.”
The Washington streets wheezed and hummed with pre-rush hour traffic. On every corner sat a food vendor, offering everything from gigantic pretzels to ice-cream cones. Dr. Edwards’s office was on the top floor of a renovated old building just off Pennsylvania Avenue. Hannah and Will arrived a good fifteen minutes early for the appointment. They took their seats in the cheerful waiting room where glass end tables were scattered with copies of Esquire, Sports Illustrated and People. They were both nervous and anxious, each trying to outdo the other in proving otherwise. Will sat with a wrist draped over the side of the chair, his thumb beating out a nervous tattoo. Hannah sat with her legs crossed, one foot bobbing back and forth.
When the receptionist finally called Will’s name, they both jumped.
The woman had been casting glances at Will ever since they’d entered the office. She looked at him now with admiring eyes. “Dr. Edwards is ready for you, Mr. Kincaid.”
Hannah watched as he gave the woman the disarming smile he was famous for. Part boy, part man. At first glance brimming with confidence, at the second hinting at uncertainty. He looked back at Hannah and said, “Should you come, too?”
She smiled reassuringly. “You go ahead. I’ll be here when you get back. If it’s all right with the doctor, I’ll come in after he’s finished testing you.”
He gave her a skeptical look, then nodded and followed the receptionist down the hall.
Hannah sat there in the waiting room for the next hour and a half, intermittently pacing the floor and checking her watch. She prayed that her hunch had been right.
At just after five-thirty, the receptionist peeked around the corner and said, “You can go in now, Miss Jacobs.”
Hannah grabbed her purse and hurried down the hall, taking a deep breath before she stepped into the doctor’s office.
Will sat in a wing chair to the side of the desk. The doctor stood and offered her his hand. “I’m Jim Edwards. Will tells me you’ve been working with him recently.”
She nodded, her anxious gaze skirting from Will, whose expression gave away nothing, and back to Jim Edwards. “Did you find out anything?”
The doctor smiled. “We made a good start, I believe. Your suspicions seem to have been correct, Miss Jacobs. Will does indeed exhibit some of the classic symptoms of dyslexia.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “He does? That’s wonderful!”
Both the doctor and Will laughed. In any other situation, it would have been an absurd response.
“I mean, I had hoped—”
“That it was something that could be dealt with?” Will interrupted, beaming.
Hannah beamed back at him, overwhelmed by the relief she saw on his face.
“Hold on a minute now,” Dr. Edwards said, looking at Will. “While dyslexia can be addressed so you can learn to read on a level you might never have expected before, it’ll take hard work and continued education. Nothi
ng about it will be easy. You’ll have to learn a whole new way of looking at things.”
Will nodded. “I understand that.”
“As I mentioned, I’ll need to do some further testing to determine the extent of the issue and exactly what direction to take with your program. I’d like to start on that as soon as possible.” He leaned forward. “No one ever suspected this, Will?”
“If so, it was never mentioned to me.”
“Sometimes kids develop what we call coping skills that allow them to sneak by. They might learn to recognize key words that help them get by on tests, or they might have very good comprehension skills.”
Dr. Edwards sat back again, making a steeple with his fingers. “And I suspect you know that a lot of times things are ignored in the interest of making sure certain school sports get priority. No offense intended, but—”
“None taken, Dr. Edwards,” Will said with an ironic smile. “There were a lot of times when I deserved to be taken off the team for grades. They were overlooked. Bad thing was, as far as I know, no one ever looked to see why I was doing so poorly. I guess, like me, they thought I wasn’t smart enough.”
Jim Edwards shook his head. “That wasn’t it, Will. Your IQ is higher than ninety percent of the population. That’s often the case with people who have dyslexia. That’s why their academic failures are so frustrating to them. They’ve always felt they could do the work and then some, but fail to come through on tests.”
“I know exactly what that’s like,” Will said.
“Dyslexia is three times more common in boys than in girls. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Some very famous, very successful people have been dyslexic. Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein.”
“You think you can help me, then, doctor?”
“I believe you’ll be surprised at your progress now that we know what we’re dealing with.” He stood up and offered Will his hand. “I’m awfully proud to meet you. Been a fan for years. And I’m even more of one now. It took a lot of courage for you to confront this. It must have been hard keeping a secret like this for so long.”
Truths and Roses Page 18