I flipped through the book, once, twice, three times, unable to see enough of the world quite literally placed at my fingertips. Unwittingly, my fingers caressed the pages while my nose longed to breathe in the air, my eyes to take in the glory of these places. In their grandeur was possibility, in their majesty was promise, and in their vastness was a desire to own a piece of something so enduring even as it lay claim to anyone who fully looked upon it. Here, too, was proof of the human soul, in the way they could revere and appreciate something larger and greater than them, something that spanned the farthest reaches of history, something created by the Divine and gifted by that same hand. I could find no fault with the world I’d been given in the sea, our harshly divided terrains held their own beauty, but I could also no longer find fault in the one the humans were given either.
I was so caught up in my reverence of the pictures that it wasn’t until I was drifting off to sleep much later, the book nestled on a pillow beside my head, that I remembered it was the prince, significantly more than Tatiana and even Sienna, who had brought this world to me. Not only that, but it was the prince who first opened my eyes to the wonders of this land, who distracted me long enough from my fixation on the treasures within the sea to show me the riches that thrived above it. Faeries aside, not all humans are magical creatures as merfolk are, but there is magic in the world for those born without it, at least for those who seek it, who know how to find it.
I felt a sudden surge of warmth and appreciation for the man who’d insisted on showing this all to me, who’d taken my hand and led me into a realm I was otherwise too preoccupied to notice.
I didn’t understand it then and would only appreciate the implication of that day much later on, how that hike was just another marker in a path I’d been walking the moment the prince placed a book in my hands then asked me how I liked it. I mention this if only to dispel the notion that I didn’t have my wits about me, that I was blinded by a handsome, intelligent, endearing man, or that perhaps I had gotten caught up in my life at the palace and used the opportunity of my circumstances to take the life I never wanted to be mine.
Because I would have prevented what soon occurred had I realized what was happening, especially because I foolishly overlooked how it would affect Sienna. However, by the time I understood what had passed, it was already too late, and I was thusly to remain on land much longer than I, and certainly Tatiana, had ever anticipated.
Because from that day, my life in the human world set off on an irrevocable course. And it had nothing to do with my eventual falling for a man who had hair the color of octopus ink, or eyes dark as coals which burned with the passion of all the things he loved and loved to discover.
From that day on, my ear attuned itself to his footsteps swishing in the grass and the ring of his heels echoing down the marble corridors of the palace. I started seeing him in the things we’d talked about, started hearing his voice and his laughter within the noise of a crowd. These changes weren’t a conscious decision, I realize now, but a natural step in the progression of the way things were slowly changing between us.
It’s with the knowledge of the years to come that I can truly appreciate, how even without giving my heart leave, I started to become quite taken with the man who had made this world so beautiful to me.
Mooring
Sienna’s sixteenth birthday had quickly come and gone, and behind it trailed an unwelcome feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt the foreboding of an oncoming gale, as if something was about to happen, something that would upset the balance we precariously maintained, but I had no idea what to expect, or how to prepare for it. At the same time, the time I spent with the prince didn’t lessen after that first hike, and the longer days brought with them new adventures and new reasons for excusing me from my work. Admittedly, the forbidding hesitation lurking just out of reach was often forgotten in a fog of wonder at the intricacies of the world I was just beginning to appreciate.
The prince’s birthday came on the heels of Sienna’s, and an appropriately grand celebration was planned for it. Even better, it was an excellent reason for Queen Cordelia to return home for a visit after almost half a year away.
I was so overwhelmed with happiness at seeing her again that I couldn’t quite control the embrace that burst forth from me and enthusiastically wrapped itself around her. Had there been more people around to see it, I’m not sure how she would have reacted, but in the relative privacy of the gardens, she giggled merrily and returned my warm salutation in kind. If someone had told me a year ago that my heart would be filled with such joy upon seeing a human, any human at all, I wouldn’t have believed him. Yet here I was, genuinely glad to once more see my first friend on this land. I was even pleased to see her affable husband, permanently human again as he was.
“You look so well, Your Majesty,” I gushed, as I pulled away. “And so happy!”
Queen Cordelia returned my praises with a radiant smile. “And expecting, too.”
My mouth hung open in unabashed joy. “Her Majesty will make a most excellent mother,” I asserted.
The queen absently rubbed her still hidden belly. “I hope so,” she said. “But this is to remain just between us, as we have not yet officially announced it. I just came from telling my family and they are positively giddy with anticipation.” She smiled again and tucked my arm into hers like old confidantes. “I really wanted you to hear it from me, in consideration of your care for my husband when we first met him.”
“I’m very grateful,” I humbly replied, feeling quite honored and utterly dumbfounded at her thoughtfulness.
I hadn’t thought much had changed since we’d last seen each other just a few short months ago, but now that she’d returned it felt like more time had passed than we’d realized. Either way, I tried not to think too much of it. I had been a regular in the court of a king all my life, but this human princess had been the first to really give me a chance to prove what I could do. It didn’t make the knowledge that I would have to someday leave her forever any easier.
“Tell me, Ariel,” Queen Cordelia turned to me, “what have you been up to since I moved away? I hope Arlando isn’t boring you to tears with more of his dreadful books. You don’t have to keep reading them if you don’t want to.”
“I…I rather enjoy reading the books he brings me,” I replied.
The queen regarded me under a raised brow. “Is that so?” she said, more to herself than me. “All right,” she challenged, “what did you enjoy most about one of the more recent ones?”
I was glad for the specifics of her request, because I could hardly imagine describing the differences between the shapes of hulls on sailboats or the best way to engineer an aqueduct to keep it from being polluted by the villages and towns it also had to bring water to. That wasn’t to say the queen wasn’t intelligent enough to understand it all, but she wasn’t one to get caught up on the details of things she wasn’t dedicated to working on. She and King Heinrich had a very efficient way of running their kingdom, and that mainly involved being aware of what was happening on every level, then delegating duties to the right people, who need only keep them informed of their progress. She didn’t have the patience to moon over books and blueprints and stylistic intricacies the way her brother preferred to.
So it was too easy to tell her about the glorious world the prince had handed me in a single book, the pages of which had been well walked by my fingers even as my legs yearned to truly roam the places that had inspired them. The queen nodded appreciatively as she listened, every now and then inserting comments about “Arlando is such a romantic” and “it’s even more magnificent when you see it yourself” and “that’s exactly why he always loved exploring.” It also seemed I had chosen the right book to tell her about, because she expressed pleasure that her brother wasn’t boring me with useless things like cattle breeding or the architectural benefits of certain natural stones over others. I didn’t know if she would be more horrified to know th
at he was, of course, bringing me books on all kinds of topic or that they were far from boring to me.
Telling her about the wondrous landscapes eventually prompted her to tell me about the specifics of her new kingdom, and so we passed a happy, tranquil hour together. That was only the first day of her visit, so it’s rather understandable that I was excited for the rest of it. Of course, I didn’t know then what I know now, or I might have wisely been more reserved.
The prince’s birthday was to be celebrated on the sandy shores just past the royal gardens but still some ways from the royal docks. Long tables of food and treats were prepared for the event and large pits in the sand were lined with seaweed. I was concerned when I heard talk of a “clam bake,” but my apprehension dissipated once I saw what it was. The festivities began in earnest after the initial feasting when the servants built up a tall fire in a deep pit of sand. Eager flames crawled up the latticework of wood they stacked against each other until they swallowed them whole in a brilliant burst of orange fire against the darkening sky. For once, the stars appeared dim and lifeless behind the dancing blaze.
Once the fire settled to a steady burn, a large metal grate was placed on one side of it. Bananas still in their peel were slit open and stuffed with chocolate then balanced between the metal bars to roast. Thick slices of apples rolled in cinnamon and touched with sugar found their places beside them, their rich and tantalizing aroma soon overpowering the pervasive smell of burning wood.
A tune struck up from a small collection of musicians and dancers began spinning around the fire in response. I caught sight of Sienna, barefoot as always and dressed in a flowing silk dress, dancing alone around the bright fire, which was no match for her flaming red hair. Unlike some of the other dancers, she was so graceful she hardly needed a partner. He would have either slowed her down or blocked her from those who wished to see her dance anyway.
I settled myself against a small embankment, my own bare feet digging comfortably into the soft grains of sand, happy to watch and not participate. No one would enjoy watching me dance and I could not imagine anyone who would consider it an honor to be my partner. That night, however, I didn’t mind the anonymity. With the sky so dark and the sea so close, I rather relished blending into the shadows again, melting into the sights, sounds, and smells of two wonderfully unique worlds.
My gaze caught on the fire and I lost myself in it for a while. We knew of fire in Merdom, though it wasn’t exactly the same as on land. We had heat for cooking, healing, and other such things, and a few merfolk could even create inextinguishable fire with their magic. Still, over a year later, I was wholly mesmerized by fire on land, still fascinated with its heat and how passionately the flames flickered upward, yearning to connect to something higher, ever higher.
Was this how Sienna felt all those years beneath the surface of the sea? Was this the passion that allowed her to be happy even when every step caused her immeasurable pain and it was quite certain her life on land wouldn’t be as long as it would had she remained in the sea?
I shook my head at myself and dispelled the thoughts. I didn’t think Sienna had ever thought so deeply into the cause of her insatiable desires. If she had, then surely she would have realized that a soul, be it of human or merfolk, was immortal whether it lived on land or in the sea. She would have understood had she ever truly thought about it, preventing her from making such a rash, eventually fatal, decision.
Though I was hardly one to tell her so at the moment. Watching the celebration, sitting on the still warm sand so close to the magic of the sea, I relaxed enough to recognize that, for the first time I could remember, I felt truly content. I had not found a clear course for my life or finally figured out a solution to my dilemma with Sienna, but, as I sat and watched and was happy for others, I hardly felt like I was being dragged down by my own heavily weighted, misshapen body at all.
A shadow slid onto the sand beside me, extending a hand with a few warm slices of cinnamon apple before lying down to drink in the stars.
“Thank you, Highness.”
I ate the mouthwatering treats slowly, relishing the once foreign flavors I had since learned to appreciate. It wasn’t until after I finished eating that I dared turn to the person who had taken shape in the darkness beside me.
“This,” the prince said, gesturing widely to gather in the laughter, the rush of the waves, the nimbly stepping wind, “this is my favorite kind of music.”
“It’s a wonderful melody, Highness,” I sincerely agreed.
The prince turned onto his side to face me properly. “Is there anything I can say to persuade you to dance with me?”
I smiled and shook my head. “Even if His Highness would command it on penalty of death, I’m afraid I’d still hesitate to comply.”
The prince replied with a half-hearted grin. “Still, I wish you would.”
I couldn’t understand why the prince would even bother to ask me to dance, let alone want to. Surely, he could see that I didn’t have a form suited to it. He should have mercy on himself and the rest of his court and let me stay where I was. The only reason for this, I decided, was that he must be intoxicated. How else could he think of me and then think dance?
“Perhaps take Sienna for a few turns,” I carefully suggested. “She is quite a wonderful dancer, very graceful and carefree in her steps.”
“She is a wonderful dancer,” the prince echoed, though not very emphatically.
“And rather beautiful, too,” I reminded him.
The prince nodded without feeling. “Very beautiful,” he agreed.
I wasn’t sure what else to say. I already had the prince agreeing with the superiority of Sienna, yet there he was, beside me still. I scrambled for something else to convince him to divert his attentions in a more suitable direction.
“She says so much,” I added quickly, “even without words. Anyone can see how expressive she is, how many lovely things she has to say.”
The prince eyed me, perhaps a little too intently, in response. I wasn’t comfortable sitting under his scrutiny, but I couldn’t very well get up and leave. My hands started fidgeting so I plunged them into the cooling sand to stop them. I left my hands to busy themselves absently scooping and pouring sand as my eyes sought something to land on, the stars, the dark waves, the fire, anything but the man sitting beside me, the man whose face expressed that which I was both curious and afraid to see.
The prince placed a gentle hand on one of my mine, halting its incessant digging. “I can see,” he said softly, his eyes burning meaningfully even in the dark. Then he turned back with a sigh and once again tilted his face to the glow of the stars. “And I am listening.”
I froze, thoroughly confused about what had just happened. I knew nothing about favored attentions and the like, outside of what I had seen bestowed upon others. And yet, and yet, this seemed vastly different than whatever had originally prompted the prince to lend me a book, or teach me how to ride horses, or force me to raise my voice in song, or race in a sailboat, or lead me to a glorious mountain view. Something was different between us, something had been building since the day Princess Cordelia left the palace to become a queen, since Prince Rainn gave the prince that look from atop his horse. It was something I felt but couldn’t name, something that had to do with warm slices of cinnamon apples and a desire to dance with me, no matter how suitable I was.
I’m not sure how long we would have stayed that way had the prince not soon been called away, not sure how much longer we could have stayed in that fast-graying area between friend and something more had someone else not stepped in. But while a gardener can sit in the shade unnoticed, a prince cannot disappear for long, and the voices calling his name from the center of the merrymaking soon roused him from his spot on the sand beside me.
“Coming!” he called back to no one and everyone.
He took his time standing, took his time brushing off his clothing and hands, took his time bending down before me and catc
hing my gaze so I was forced to look back at him.
When had the night grown so warm?
Then, without explanation, without excuse, the tips of his fingers barely brushed against my cheek as he straightened. Anyone watching may have thought the action wasn’t deliberate, but I saw the look in his eyes. I knew what I couldn’t yet understand. His touch then was very much like the time he’d covered my hand as we watched fireworks explode in the night sky, so there was no doubt that it was with purpose.
And it warmed me.
I just couldn’t fathom why.
King Heinrich and Queen Cordelia stayed a little over two weeks, and their visit was an overall pleasant one. Everyone liked King Heinrich, who was both gallant and kind, appropriately serious and harmlessly self-deprecating. He remembered everyone’s names and treated each like his closest and only friend. Even the servants. It was no wonder Queen Cordelia was so happy. She scarce could have found herself a better man if she had actually created one. The king’s easy temperament was also the perfect balance for her firmly disciplined one, and it was quite noticeable that he was already having a positive effect on her in that regard.
The rest of the palace was also quite excited to have their princess back, and her brother’s birthday festivities was the impetus for noblemen from all over to pop in and pay their respects to the new queen. Dukes and duchesses, barons and baronesses, all came bearing gifts made from the best their lands had to offer, and all came with sons and daughters in tow.
I don’t know if this specifically caused what came next, or if perhaps the notion had been rolling around the queen’s head for a while. I’m not certain if she truly realized the depths of the waters she was about to stir up, that if she had, she would have dived in at all. Either way, I suppose it is to her credit that my life changed dramatically after that, that Sienna and I finally broached the beginning of the end, albeit not together. Having been on land for so long, I had come adrift, and Queen Cordelia was the one who finally forced me to regain a forward course.
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