But these two kids had better figure out what they were going to do with their lives. He’d chided Audrey for being stingy about letting Landyn stay in one of the guest rooms, but he was a little more sympathetic now. Because they were trying to run a bed-and-breakfast, not a shelter for the down-and-out. And if Chase and Landyn didn’t come up with a plan for getting out from under his roof pretty quick, he was going to sit them down and kick them out.
* * *
Chase set the warm plate of pizza Audrey had fixed for him on the dresser, ultra aware that a spill would be a disaster in the newly decorated bedroom in the newly decorated inn. He’d always liked Landyn’s parents. Her whole family, for that matter. But he’d also struggled with feeling as if he didn’t quite measure up.
The Whitmans were all about family. And if there was one area Chase was lacking in, family was it. And then there’d been that whole thing with the premarital counseling. Her parents had deemed him such a loser that the basic four-session church package wasn’t enough. No, thanks to his sorry family history, he and Landyn had to submit to professional counseling before the Whitmans would give their blessing on her marrying the likes of him.
He thought he’d put that all behind him . . . sorted through it, trying to see it from their perspective. But that didn’t mean he liked it. Being here at their house now—especially without Landyn, who was usually the buffer between them—brought back all those memories. And though Grant hadn’t said so in so many words, Chase was pretty sure the man blamed him for this whole mess.
Someone knocked on his door and he quickly brushed pizza crumbs off the dresser onto his plate. “Come in.”
Even though the bedroom had been remodeled since Landyn had lived at home, the knock had set his heart racing and brought back memories of the times Landyn had sneaked him up to her room when they were dating. They’d never done anything—well, nothing too bad anyway—but Landyn’s parents had a zero tolerance policy when it came to boys in the bedroom. As that rush of guilt went through his veins now, he realized that policy may have saved them a lot of grief, and he made another mental note for the future day when he and Landyn might have a daughter.
The very thought put a holy fear in him. How could he ever be a father to a daughter?
“You busy?” Grant peeked around the door.
“No. Not at all. Come on in.” Chase moved to the edge of the bed and offered the desk chair to Landyn’s dad.
Grant straddled the chair and looked around the room. “You have everything you need up here?”
“Sure do. It’s very comfortable.”
“Well, don’t get too comfortable.”
“Oh, no sir. I won’t. I—”
“I’m just kidding, Chase.” Chuckling, Grant put a hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re probably even more anxious than we are to have you out of here and back home—Wait . . . that didn’t come out right. But you know what I mean.”
“Yes, sir.” He wasn’t at all sure he knew what Grant meant, but he wasn’t going to push it right now.
“Listen . . . I wanted to talk to you.”
He didn’t like the sound of that at all. “Okay . . .”
“I just wondered what plan you have in mind for down the road?”
“Down the road?”
“For you and Landyn. I assume you’re committed to the marriage?”
Chase looked him in the eye. “Absolutely.” Had he imagined the tone in Grant’s voice? An insinuation, perhaps, about Landyn? It almost felt as though his father-in-law knew something he didn’t.
“I don’t know what you two have talked about since you got your wires crossed, and that’s not really any of my business. But as Landyn’s dad, I do want to be sure you’ll fight for my daughter. She loves you and . . . she’s a little mixed up right now, but I think she’ll do what’s right.”
“I—I’m not sure what you mean . . . Mixed up?”
Grant shifted his chair and settled in again. “The story we got is that you let your apartment go and leased the studio without talking it over with Landyn.”
“Yes, sir. And I don’t know what you’ll think about this, sir—”
“Hey,”—Grant held up a hand—“we’ve been on a first name basis for a long time. Enough of this sir business.”
Chase relaxed a little. “I got an opportunity for this apartment at a really good price—a price that would let us put aside some money, even with the commute. I felt at the time like—I still feel like—God said take it. The opportunity wasn’t going to come around again anytime soon. I know Landyn doesn’t agree, but to be honest, I wouldn’t do anything different if the opportunity came again.” He nudged the edge of the fancy rug with the toe of his tennis shoe. “I think that’s what Landyn is having the most trouble with.”
Grant looked like he was trying to rein in a smile. “Landyn hasn’t wanted other people making decisions for her since she was . . . oh, about two. It wasn’t easy being her father, but I’ve got to say I really feel for you as her husband.”
He shrugged. “Thank you, sir . . . I mean, Grant.”
Grant’s expression turned serious. “I admire you wanting to follow God’s lead and wanting to be the leader of your family, but if I can make a recommendation . . .?”
Chase nodded, not sure where this was going.
“I learned a long time ago that my wife has a lot to offer when it comes to wisdom. Sure, there are going to be times when I have to make the decision I believe is right, even if Audrey doesn’t agree. But whenever remotely possible, Audrey and I try to arrive at a consensus after we’ve both had a chance to pray—together and separately—about the issue.”
Chase opened his mouth to say, “I understand,” but he closed it, defensiveness edging up inside him. He wanted a chance to explain his side of things. “Like I told Landyn, this opportunity truly didn’t leave time to track her down. She was in an all-day meeting and there was someone else waiting right behind me to take the rental. If I hadn’t given my agent a yes right then, we would have lost it.”
“Would having your way on this be worth losing your marriage over?”
Adrenaline shot through Chase’s veins and he felt his hands balling into fists, almost involuntarily. “First of all, this isn’t about having my way. And no offense, but if Landyn divorces me over this—not that she plans to—but if she did, that would be an awfully petty reason.”
“And I agree.” Grant nodded. “But do you see what I’m trying to say?”
“I think I do. And I hope you see what I’m trying to say. I did what I felt was right at the time. Frankly, nothing has changed my mind. I feel I was following God’s leading. And despite Landyn’s reaction, I stand by that.”
“Have you told her that?”
“I have. I’m not going to lie to her. And I’m not going to apologize for something I don’t believe was wrong.”
Landyn’s dad shifted his chair yet again, moving it a bit closer to the door. Something about his demeanor struck Chase as odd, and it crossed his mind that Grant Whitman might actually be feeling a little intimidated by him. That was an interesting reverse from the man who’d managed to make him all but cower—pretty much since the day Landyn had introduced them.
Feeling emboldened, he rose from the bed. “But I do appreciate what you’re trying to say. I’ll keep your counsel in mind.” He hadn’t chosen the word lightly and he immediately felt like a jerk for his tone. And for invoking his grudge against Landyn’s dad over the counseling.
Grant stood too, rising to his full six-foot-three stature. He took half a step toward Chase, making him feel small again. His father-in-law’s intent, no doubt.
“You do that,” Grant returned the chair to the desk. “You keep that in mind.” He strode to the door and closed it firmly behind him.
16
The sound of sirens in the street below woke Landyn at four a.m. When they had lived in Manhattan, she’d grown accustomed to the constant noise of the city—liked i
t, even—but she’d dreamed she was back in Langhorne with Chase. She jolted from the futon and went to stand by the window.
She’d slept for several hours after talking with Chase, and now she was wide awake and restless. She ate an apple and some stale crackers and cleaned the apartment, except for the corner where Chase had his easel and art desk set up. It felt strange to see all of Chase’s things, with no sign that she’d ever lived here. Except for a photograph of the two of them, which was lying on the side table by the futon. The photo was unframed—a candid shot taken at a friend’s wedding two years ago. It was a cheap printed copy of one she’d framed and put on the mantel at their apartment in Manhattan. She didn’t know where Chase had gotten his copy, but it lifted her spirits to know he had it in a place he’d see it daily.
Her cell phone rang—Corinne’s ringtone—and she rifled through her purse trying to locate it. “Hey, sis.”
“Hey, yourself. You doing okay?”
“Mom and Dad told you? Where I am?”
“Yes. You know you’re crazy, right? Two road trips to New York in three weeks’ time?”
“Guilty as charged. But it wouldn’t have been half so crazy if Chase hadn’t decided to fly to Cape at the same time.”
“It’s kind of sweet, really,” her sister said. “When you think about it.”
“Yeah . . . I guess it kind of is.”
“So are you flying back or staying out there?”
“I don’t know. Chase’s supposed to call today and we’re going to try to figure something out.”
“You’re not going to leave him are you, Landyn?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Then don’t.”
“You make it sound so easy. But Corinne, I can’t just pretend nothing happened. We had an agreement, a plan, and Chase went back on that. He made a life-changing decision for me, and now I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be anymore.”
“Who you’re supposed to be? You’ve always known who you are, Landyn. It’s one of the things I admire most about you—I’m a little jealous of, if you want to know the truth.”
“Well, this has messed with my mind pretty good. Just sayin’.”
“Hey, just because Chase made a decision like that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Or even that he doesn’t respect you. It was selfish and thoughtless maybe. But I don’t think it was a capital offense.”
“Maybe not, but that still doesn’t help me. What do I do now?” She looked around the tiny studio. “You should see this place, Corinne. It’s the size of a postage stamp. There’s not room for a cradle, let alone a crib. He’s sleeping on a futon.”
“Maybe that’s because you took the bed. So what did he say about the baby?”
She cleared her throat.
“Landyn? Don’t tell me you still haven’t told him.”
“I told you I don’t want him to be willing to work things out only because of the baby.”
“But you said he is willing. You’ve got to tell him! Especially now that the family knows. If half the world knew I was pregnant before I ever told Jesse, he would—”
“Half the world had better not know. You haven’t said anything, have you?”
“No. So maybe I exaggerated a little. But . . . Danae and I, and Mom and Dad—half your world knows.”
“And you’re sure Mom and Dad haven’t told him? Mom didn’t say anything when I talked to her, but . . . ”
“I don’t think they’d do that. Not unless you were in danger or something.”
Landyn huffed out a breath. “Knowing Dad, he does think I’m in danger because I’m in New York. Bedford-Stuyvesant, no less. Home of Chris Rock and”—she put on her best rapper voice—“The Notorious B.I.G.”
Corinne giggled. “I doubt Dad has a clue who that even is.” She turned serious then. “You are safe there, right? I mean, it’s not a bad part of town or anything?”
“No. I’m fine. And I hate to admit it, but I actually kind of like it here.”
“Don’t like it too much, little sister. I really don’t want my first nephew or niece to grow up a thousand miles away.”
“Actually, one thousand fourteen miles away. I can testify to that. But way closer if you fly.”
“I don’t care. Still way too far. But if that’s where God puts you,” she added quickly, “and if that’s where you have to go to be with Chase, I guess I’ll just have to put on my big-girl panties and gut it out.”
“Well, I—” Her phone buzzed and Chase’s number filled the screen. “Hey, sis, Chase is calling. Can I call you back?”
“Oh, you don’t need to. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Talk to your man. Tell him I said hi. And . . . give him a chance, okay, Landyn?”
“I will.”
“I know you will. And tell him. Please.”
“We’ll see. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Landyn clicked off and switched mental gears to talk to Chase. “Hi there.”
“I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“No. I was talking to Corinne.”
“Oh. So you slept okay there?”
“Pretty good.” She felt as awkward as she had on their first date. No. That wasn’t right. On their first date, everything had clicked and they’d both felt like they’d known each other forever. It had been that way pretty much ever since. Until now.
“So what have you been thinking?” asked Chase.
“About what we should do?”
“That and—just, about us?”
“Chase, I think us is a very good idea and—”
“Me too.” Relief was thick in his voice. “A very good idea.”
“Let me finish though.”
“Okay . . .” She thought the wind went out of his sails a little.
“We can’t just pretend nothing has changed. It sounds like you’re all set. But Chase, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life now. I feel like you . . . displaced me. And I don’t know where I belong now.”
“You belong with me.”
“I want to believe that. I do believe that. But I still have to figure out what that looks like. Who I am now.”
“You are a wonderful woman who I love more than life itself.”
“Whatever.” She tried to laugh but it came out more like a sob. “I’m just confused, Chase. I don’t have a home here. I can’t run home to Mom and Dad because I don’t have a home there anymore either. I just feel . . . lost.”
“We’ll find you, baby. I promise. We’ll figure it out. Okay?”
“I guess.” He wanted it to be so easy. But it wasn’t easy. It just wasn’t. And he didn’t know the half of it.
“Listen. I’ve been thinking. And—just so you know, I’m asking, not telling.”
That, at least, was a good sign. “And?”
“Have you thought about what I said? Would you be willing to come back to Cape?”
“For how long?”
“Just till we figure things out. We can set a time limit if you want to.”
How about nine months? “How will we make it though? I don’t think we can stay at my parents’, and I don’t think they can afford to loan us any money. The way it sounds, they’ve sunk everything into that stupid inn.”
“I’ve got some ideas. Starting with selling my car. Even if you ultimately decided to go back to your job uptown, we wouldn’t need two vehicles, especially if I kept working in the Bed-Stuy studio.”
“I don’t know if I even have the option of going back to Fineman and Justus, Chase.”
His pause made her wonder if he hadn’t considered that.
“Well . . . any job uptown,” he said. “I’m just saying selling a car would give us a little cash to live on while we decide. I—I’m just throwing out some options.”
“Are you thinking of selling the car here or driving it back to Langhorne?” She was trying not to shoot down every suggestion he made. And quickly realizing that it was a hard habit t
o break.
“I don’t know. Probably we should . . . I mean, I’d value your opinion. What do you think?”
She laughed. “See, I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.”
“I’m trying. But I gotta tell you, Landyn, it doesn’t come easy.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. Hey, do you think Raymond might know the best way to sell a car here?”
“He sure might. Do you mind asking him? And I’ll ask your dad.”
“Are you going to ask him about us staying there too?”
“Would it make you mad if I said I have some other ideas up my sleeve?”
“Depends on what you’re talking about. And depends on whether you go and commit to one of those without—”
“I know, I know. I’ll run it by you first. I promise.”
Somehow over the course of the next hour, they managed to recapture—however tentatively—the easy way they’d always had between them. And by the time they hung up, they had a tentative plan, and Landyn felt like they’d called a truce.
Of course, she also hadn’t told Chase about the one thing that could put a huge crimp in whatever plans they made.
17
We’d need the first month’s rent and one month’s rent deposit. And like I said, the place needs some work.”
Chase turned on his heel, taking a three-sixty around the upstairs apartment overlooking Langhorne’s Main Street. It was twice the size of the Bed-Stuy studio, and the rent sounded dirt cheap at six hundred dollars a month. But he tried to imagine Landyn going for this—and failed. “Needs some work” was the understatement of the millennium, and the landlord didn’t sound too crazy about the short-term deal Chase was trying to negotiate.
Still, the light in this place was incredible. It would be the perfect place to paint. And maybe he’d even drum up some interest in his painting here in town. Local boy makes good and all that.
“Let me talk to my wife and I’ll let you know sometime tomorrow. Will that work?”
The man scratched his chin. “I should be able to wait that long.”
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