Cra-ack! The casserole broke like a hunk of ice, a wide fissure dividing it into two pieces. Steam hissed upward.
Grant gave her an “oops” look. “Well,”—he shrugged—“you weren’t going to salvage that anyway, right?”
He had a point. There went another twenty bucks down the drain. Literally.
The phone rang.
“Oh, good grief!” Audrey threw up her hands. “What now?”
“Can you get that?” Grant asked, doing his best to look busy. The stinker.
She went to the hall table and picked up the cordless.
Grant mumbled something she couldn’t hear.
“Hello.” She hadn’t meant to sound so curt.
A missed beat. “Whoa. Did somebody wake up grumpy?”
“Landyn!” Audrey laughed. “Sorry. We’ve had a beyond-crazy morning. Already. Everything’s under control though. I think. What’s up?” The whole family had Skyped with Chase and Landyn after dinner yesterday, so she hadn’t expected to hear from her so soon.
“I just wanted to let you know we’re on our way.” She sounded happy and excited.
“Already? I thought you guys weren’t leaving until this weekend.”
“We got everything taken care of, so we decided to beat the weekend traffic. We’re in Pennsylvania already.”
“Wow . . .” They’d be here tomorrow. “You’re making good time.”
“We left at five.”
“Oh. Did you sell the car?” Please, Lord, they need that money so badly.
Landyn sighed. “No. We decided since all the paperwork is in Missouri it would just be easier to sell it there.”
“Where are you staying tonight?”
Silence on Landyn’s end.
Audrey gripped the phone. “Please don’t tell me you guys are going to drive straight through.”
“We’ll stop if we get tired, Mom. I promise.”
“Stop where?”
“I’m—not sure.”
“And don’t say a Walmart parking lot.”
“Okay, I won’t say that.”
“Very funny.”
“Well, we can’t exactly afford a hotel, Mom. But we’ll be fine.”
“I know.” Guilt pierced her, and it was all she could do not to offer to pay for the hotel. But they simply did not have the money to spare. Especially after this morning’s fiasco. And as much as she hated the kids being on the road for sixteen hours—probably longer since they were driving two cars—they were adults, after all. They could . . . should make these kinds of decisions for themselves.
But Grant would be none too happy about the situation, thinking they were foolish trying to drive two vehicles home from New York.
And now she had to go tell him that the kids were arriving a couple of days early besides. And Landyn’s old room needed to be cleaned and ready by tonight. Grant’s mother’s offer for the kids to stay with her still stood, but Audrey selfishly wanted the kids to themselves for a night or two. Actually, in retrospect, she and Grant were both having second thoughts about the kids living with Cecelia. Her house was tiny, there was no Internet connection, and as much as they all loved CeeCee, she tended to be rather—high maintenance.
Audrey had wasted her time worrying about the kids taking up a room at the inn that could be earning income. It was a moot point given that, until last night, they hadn’t filled all the rooms in the inn since—well, never. At least not with paying guests. Yes, they had future reservations—the inn was booked solid over the winter holidays, including Valentine’s Day, and they already had May filled with graduation guests—and a waiting list to boot. But right now, they were squeaking by. And just barely. She pushed the thought aside. For now, she would try to see it as a blessing that they had a room to offer Chase and Landyn.
She went to find Grant. This early arrival would be fun news to deliver. Her sweet husband’s blood pressure was getting a whale of a workout this week.
26
Landyn felt like Sacagawea leading the way west across the country. She saw familiar landmarks along Interstate 78 from her previous trips and called Chase on her cell several times along the way to point out things she wanted to be sure he saw.
“Landyn, you’re going to have an accident,” he’d scolded on her third call. “Talking on the phone and driving is a bad idea. Cut it out. Besides, I have eyes. I think I can see the sights for myself.”
“I’m being totally safe. Besides, it’s legal to use cell phones on the road in Pennsylvania.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Positive. No texting, but phone calls are fine.” She didn’t tell him she knew because she’d Googled it on her phone. Hands-free though . . . Well, mostly.
“Listen, I’m asking you not to do it. And I’m hanging up now.”
She laughed and disconnected the call. That man could be so bossy at times.
They drove through for coffee around eight, just outside of Harrisburg. Pennsylvania had experienced a late autumn, and despite the morning’s near freezing temps, the trees still bore some of their glory.
They stood between their two cars in the convenience store parking lot, fresh lattes warming their hands. Chase put a warm palm on her cheek. “You sure you’re awake?”
“Wide awake. You?”
“I’m good. You let me know if you get sleepy and we’ll stop, okay?”
She nodded and lifted her coffee in a toast. “This will keep me alert.”
“Okay. Ready to hit the road again? Only thirteen more hours.”
“Not funny.”
“Just keepin’ it real.” He tweaked her nose and leaned in for a kiss. “You feeling okay?”
She gave him a puzzled look.
He touched his fingertips to her belly. “The baby, I mean.”
She grinned. “The baby feels fine.” But it moved her that he’d touched her that way. Maybe he would come around after all.
* * *
Chase rubbed his eyes and rolled the window down, trying to stay alert. He’d just called Landyn, and she sounded perky and wide awake. They’d made it through Pittsburgh and were about an hour from Columbus, Ohio, where they planned to stop and get something to eat—and maybe grab a short nap in a parking lot. That would give them a shot in the arm and hopefully get them the rest of the way home.
The radio station he’d been listening to faded to static and he tried to tune in another one, but when his search produced nothing but talk radio and classical music, he turned off the radio and let his thoughts hold sway. In the days since Landyn had told him she was expecting their baby, he’d started deflecting the arrows of fear by counting his blessings.
The fact that yesterday had been Thanksgiving Day wasn’t lost on him. “Lord, thank you for bringing Landyn and me this far. I don’t know what you have in store for us, but I know it will be good, and I’m grateful.” He prayed aloud, his own voice echoing back to him in the confines of the car.
He listed, one by one, the things he’d seen God accomplish in their lives over the past month. “Thank you for letting me be an artist for however long you’ll allow it. Help me not hold on to my plans too tight but to be willing to hear your voice—and then obey.”
Guilt had nagged him ever since that night he told Landyn he didn’t think God provided very well for them. He’d asked forgiveness—of God. But he knew he needed to apologize to Landyn too. He’d failed to recognize all the Lord had done to carry them through, and he’d thrown God’s goodness to him and Landyn back in His face. He felt sick about it, but he couldn’t exactly take it back.
He remembered an illustration Pastor Simmons had used in youth group one night—having a couple of the kids squeeze all the toothpaste out of a tube onto a paper plate. And then, when the tube was empty, asking them to put it back in the tube.
The message of that illustration had made an impression on him then. But he thought he understood the point better now than he ever had. It was a lot easier to never make a mis
take in the first place than to try to mend the damage after the fact. He had so many regrets in his short life. But he’d told God more than once since he and Landyn were back together that he intended to adopt a new habit, one of living a life without regrets. It was easier said than done. He’d discovered that quickly. But still, he’d made it a goal.
On the road in front of him Landyn changed lanes to pass a pickup hauling a trailer. A fast approaching car wouldn’t let him over, but he kept an eye on the Honda and passed as soon as he could.
Landyn was driving almost ten miles over the speed limit according to his speedometer. He’d tell her to slow down a little next time they pulled over. He didn’t mind going five miles over, but the last thing they needed was a speeding ticket.
She was probably trying to make up for lost time for all the bathroom stops they’d made. Man, it was no joke, that thing about pregnant women having to go all the time. They’d been on the road ten hours and had already made four bathroom stops besides the gas and lunch stop. Those extra stops had probably cost them an hour or more. He hoped she could at least make it to Cincinnati without having to stop again.
As much as he was trying not to worry about it, Landyn’s pregnancy was at the forefront of his thoughts. Because it terrified him to think about being a dad, yes. And because he had no idea how they were going to afford the doctor bills and baby expenses. But for another reason, too.
Sometime in the middle of one of his “dark nights of the soul,” he’d done some quick math and been disturbed to realize that Landyn had already been pregnant the day he’d stood on that Brooklyn street praying for God’s direction. It made no sense that God would have led him to a tiny Brooklyn studio when He already knew there was a baby on the way. Why would God have led him to do something that, now that Chase knew their true circumstances, seemed utterly foolish?
How could he continue to hold onto his belief that he had sincerely been seeking God’s guidance, that God had answered, and he had followed in obedience?
Either he had been mistaken—sincerely mistaken, but mistaken nonetheless—or God had misguided him. He was pretty sure God didn’t work that way, but it bothered him that he’d been so far off base. How could he ever trust his own instincts—that he was truly following God’s will—when he couldn’t trust himself to hear God’s voice correctly?
But God knew. At least that’s what he’d been taught. That God was omniscient. That He knew everything before it happened. Would a loving God who cared about him, cared about Landyn, cared about their baby, let Chase make the decision he’d made? He’d even prayed that God would stop him if it was the wrong decision.
God, did I hear you wrong? I need to know. Because I can’t ever make a mistake like that again. I can’t ever risk losing her again.
His troubled mind tried to pray. And faltered. Yet, somewhere in the depths of his heart, there was a thin thread of peace. He clung to it for all he was worth.
At least his wandering thoughts had kept him awake.
He saw a sign ahead for the Columbus exit and flashed his headlights at Landyn, their signal to turn off. He wished she was in the car with him so he could hash out all these questions and doubts with her. And so he could look in her eyes and find assurance that she loved him even when he fumbled blindly to live as he should. To believe as he should.
But maybe it was better that he wrestle it out with God first. Sometimes it seemed to him that the Almighty was easier to reckon with than his wife.
27
You still awake?” Landyn asked Chase as they stretched in the parking lot at a Taco Bell in Buckeye Lake, Ohio, outside of Columbus.
“I was getting pretty sleepy there toward the end.” He stretched his arms over his head and twisted his torso like an athlete getting ready for a race.
They still had a full day’s drive ahead of them—eight hours—but Landyn felt surprisingly alert. She was hungry though, and ready for a break.
“This okay?” Chase angled his head toward the restaurant.
“Sure. About anything sounds good right now. We should have brought more snacks.”
They went inside and ordered, then took their food to a corner booth.
“Could you find any decent radio stations?” she asked him over a mouthful of taco.
He shook his head. “I gave up and quit looking a couple hours ago.”
“So what are you listening to?”
He shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Don’t you have an audio book or something on your phone?”
“I do, but I’m good.”
“Aren’t you going bonkers without something to listen to?”
“No. I’m fine.” He shrugged again, and she thought he looked a little sheepish.
She studied him with a furrowed brow. “What?”
“I’ve been having a good conversation.”
“Conversation?”
He grinned and pointed up.
“With the light fixtures at Taco Bell?”
“No silly. With God.”
“Really?” That wasn’t at all what she’d expected to hear.
“So how is He? God?”
Chase looked instantly worried. “You not on speaking terms or something?”
She laughed. “No, we are. I just meant, how are you and He getting along?”
“Better, I think. He’s pretty much got things figured out. I, on the other hand, am a little slow on the uptake.”
A swell of love for her husband filled Landyn up, and she leaned across the table and put her hand over his. “Hey, baby, I know the feeling. I’m glad . . . you’re talking. You and Him.”
“I’m getting things untangled. One mile at a time.”
She squeezed his hand. “Well, shoot, by the time we get back to Cape you ought to be tangle-free.”
That earned her the smile she loved. “Might take a trip to California and back for that.” He took a swig of his iced tea and started wadding up empty food wrappers and gathering things onto the plastic tray. “You about ready to go?”
“Yeah. Let me use the restroom one more time.”
He rolled his eyes. “Big surprise.”
In the parking lot Landyn buckled her seatbelt while Chase waited. She looked up at him. “I’m fine. You can go. And don’t worry too much if we get separated. After making this trip three times in the last month everything is familiar now.”
With one hand still on top of her car, he shaded his eyes and looked up at the graying skies. “I’d feel better if we stayed together. I don’t trust your car, and it looks like it could rain.”
“Okay. Let’s stick close then.” She was not a fan of driving in the rain.
“We will. I don’t think it’s cold enough that the roads will be icy or anything. Just watch the white line and stay to the left of it.”
“Well, there’s some great driving advice. Thanks, Professor.”
Laughing, he kissed her and dug into his pocket until he produced his car keys. “See you in . . . what? About twenty minutes?”
“Twenty minutes?”
“Bathroom break.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” But probably not far from the truth given the huge glass of iced tea she’d drunk in Taco Bell.
“Be safe, baby.” He kissed her again.
“I will.”
Eight hours, nine at the most, and they would start the next chapter of this crazy life. And only God knew what those pages would look like. But she was beginning to like the story quite a bit. She was beginning to think it just might have a happy ending.
The next hour went quickly as traffic thinned out and they ate up the highway. Landyn snacked on red licorice and listened to a rather boring novel on her iPod. At least it helped pass the time. Late in the afternoon on a particularly lonely stretch of the four-lane Interstate, when the hours left in the trip started to get to her, Chase started an impromptu leap-frog game, waving and grinning as his old Toyota passed her, then making a defeated face when he let her pass h
im in the Honda. They took turns passing each other for the next forty miles, and Landyn marveled that such a simple thing could lift her spirits so.
As they got closer to Cincinnati, traffic picked up a little, and Chase let her back in the lead. “So if you have car trouble I can help you,” he’d said before they started out this morning. She’d reminded him that he was the one driving the clunker.
Already, New York felt like another lifetime. In her heart, she suspected they’d be back. But as much as she’d once been infatuated with the city, there was a part of her that was ready to put New York—and the not-so-happy memories it now held—behind her. Still, the time there this week had been good, a time of healing. A time of growing up for both of them.
The gray clouds had followed them since Pittsburgh, but they proved a blessing when the sun dropped in the sky, keeping it from being constantly in their eyes as they headed west. They made it through Cincinnati before sunset and stopped to gas up outside of town.
Thirty minutes later, it began to sprinkle. That turned into a nice shower, but a few miles farther, it looked more like a downpour.
Landyn switched on her headlights and turned her wipers on high—for all the good it did. Rain veiled the car in sheets, and Landyn leaned over the steering wheel trying—without much success—to see that white line Chase had lectured her about. Every few minutes the jarring jackhammer sound of the rumble strips would scare her back onto the road. But after a passing semi deluged her car, she decided she’d rather risk the ditch than a head-on with a one of those monsters.
She turned on the radio and tried to tune in to a weather station. She finally got something she could hear over the static. The DJ had an edge to his voice. “Folks, we have a line of highly dangerous thunderstorms moving east, northeast across Carroll County.”
Landyn sought in vain for a road sign that would tell her where she was. She had no clue what county she was in, or even what state Carroll County was in.
“Again, a severe thunderstorm warning is in effect for much of the state. These storms could produce damaging winds, heavy rain, and large hail. If you are in the vicinity of these storms you need to move to shelter immediately.” The DJ rattled off a list of towns and counties, none of which Landyn knew of.
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