Nick sat back in his chair and grabbed the Sentinel’s hand tightly. “Don’t talk, Jer. Save your strength.”
“For what? Did you think I didn’t see that conversation with the doctors in your mind? I don’t call a 3% chance of survival exactly good odds.”
“We’ve faced worse,” said Nick. “We’ll beat this.”
“Face facts. The virus is almost always fatal. I’m not young anymore, and I’m tired of fighting.”
“Don’t say that,” said Nick, running his fingers through the damp strands of Jeremy’s gray hair. “You have to fight. You can’t just give up.”
“Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Take care of Sanctuary for me. Make sure the community I built survives.”
“Jer—”
“Promise me.”
“I’ll take care of it. I promise.”
“Then there’s only one other thing I want. Swear to me that you’ll do it?”
“Of course. Whatever you want.” Tears of blood poured down Nick’s cheeks and dripped onto the blanket.
“I want you to let Rory and Ruarc help you.”
Nick’s eyes went wide with shock. “What?”
“Listen to me carefully, Nicholas. I am going to die. This is my time, and I’m ready. You will not ask Rory to turn me. You will not ask him to bring me back. What you WILL do is go stay with them until they think you’re ready to live on your own again, and you WILL heed their judgment on what you have to do to take care of yourself.”
Nick snarled, his eyes going red. “What am I, a two-year old to be put in foster care?”
“You swore you would do what I asked. You’ve never lied to me, not once in fifty-four years. Don’t start now, when it matters the most.”
“Do you trust me that little?”
“I love you, Nick. Give me this much, so I can die with a clear conscience, knowing you won’t immediately follow after me.”
Nick struggled with his temper, but he managed to speak without raising his voice. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
“That’s what I want.”
Nick got to his feet, shaking with fury. “Where the hell is that damn doctor?” He walked stiffly out of the room into the main unit.
The voice continued in Rory’s mind, bridging the gap to Lorcan’s as well, so they could all communicate. “Guys, I’m sorry you had to see that, but you have to understand what you’re up against.”
“Did you have to treat him like that?” asked Rory. “You could have left him with a little pride.”
“If he hates me, then he’ll move on faster.”
“Jesus, Jeremy,” murmured Lorcan. “Are you that cold-blooded?”
“I’ve been planning this moment for decades. He needs your support. He’ll forgive me for forcing it on him eventually, the same way he’ll forgive me for leaving. But it won’t be easy, and it won’t be soon.”
“You were certainly quick to volunteer us to take him in,” said Rory.
The voice sighed. “Guys, I know you care deeply for each other, but you care for him, too. Make it work. Make him remember that he loves you both, just as much he loves me. I can’t love him forever, but you can. Please. Don’t let me die and leave him all alone. I need to know that you’ll do this.”
Rory took Lorcan’s hand in his and brought it to his lips. “He won’t be alone, Jeremy.”
“Thank God.” The voice wavered. “Um, guys, can you get one of the doctors in here? I feel suddenly—”
The virtual screens above the life support machines turned red, all at once, and a piercing tone sounded loudly.
Rory sprinted to the door as they heard the sound of Jeremy’s heartbeat race. “Nick! Get back here!”
Nick reentered the room in a blur, pushing his vampire physiology to the limit. He grabbed Jeremy’s hand. “No, Leshir, please! Don’t go!”
Jeremy was too distracted to limit his focus, so they all heard his words as medical personnel pushed past them and started working. “Promise you’ll remember me?”
Nick stood perfectly still in the chaos, refusing to be moved from his spot, so the doctors worked around him. “I will never let you go,” he said, quite clearly to Rory’s hearing.
All three vampires heard when the irregular heartbeat stuttered to a stop.
Nick let go of Jeremy’s hand and backed away from the bed, not stopping until he came up hard against the inner glass wall that divided the room from the main unit. Rory and Lorcan took up positions on either side of him, and they watched until the doctors stepped back, and the instruments shut down, one by one. The shriek of the alarm cut off suddenly, and the entire scene was shockingly silent.
Then Nick dropped to his knees and wept.
CHAPTER 10
December 2104; House Luscian Stronghold, Sanctuary City, French Alps
Nick reviewed the latest immigration report. Since Jeremy had reorganized the refugee camp that Castle Night had become into a working community, there had been no shortage of work to keep the fourth Hidden City functional. They still received refugees every day, Nightwalkers and Sentinels trying to escape the war and enter the Armistice Zone. Armistice Security generally kept them cooling their heels in the Castle until they could be thoroughly investigated. Nick agreed with their caution. After all, their failure to be so meticulous in the past almost led to the destruction of Anchorpoint. For the sake of Sanctuary itself, however, Nick made a point of reviewing each application for admission and flagging those he thought might be persuaded to remain here and join the ranks of the city’s permanent residents.
He looked up at a soft knock, to see Rory standing in door to his office. The Nightwalker looked at the stacks of papers and data tablets strewn on the desk. “Working late again?”
Nick sighed. “The city doesn’t run itself, you know. This is as much of a full-time job as being Archangel ever was.”
“You’ve recruited scores of lieutenants to House Luscian. Couldn’t they take some of the load?”
Nick stretched his neck and felt the joints pop. “They can manage the basic day to day management, but I still have to review their work and make sure they’re doing things the way I told them.”
“Have to, or want to?” asked Rory. He raised a hand as Nick bristled. “All I’m saying is that you’ve built a well-trained cadre of professionals. Maybe you should let them do their jobs.”
Nick scowled at him. “I’m not obsessed, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Then why did you bring it up?”
“I don’t work hard because I need to. I work hard because there’s a lot to be done, and I take pride in my accomplishments.”
“Of course,” said Rory, in a tone of voice that left little doubt that he disagreed. “If you don’t need to work, then why don’t you take a break? Come with us tonight.”
Nick stared at him blankly. “Are you going somewhere?”
Rory frowned. “Nick, what is today’s date?”
Nick opened his mouth, then glanced at his watch.
“It’s Christmas Eve, and you didn’t even know that, did you?”
Nick reddened. “I just lost track, that’s all.” He looked down at the piles of documents and data on his desk. “Maybe a break would be good.” Then he glanced up at Rory, his expression fierce. “That doesn’t mean I plan to spend it in church.”
Rory shrugged. “Suit yourself. If you change your mind—”
“You left the address on the dining table, same as you do every year.”
“And you’ll spend the night alone, flipping through photo albums, same as you do every year.”
Nick said nothing, just glared.
Rory turned and walked away back toward the stairs leading to the courtyard and the main teleport gateway.
Same as he did every year.
December 2104, San Francisco, California
Nick chewed on a piece of steak as he flipped through photo albums of happier t
imes. I’ll say this for Ruarc, the man can cook. Jeremy was all thumbs in the kitchen. His chest constricted at the thought of Jeremy, but he was used to it by now, and he knew it would pass.
He glanced at the clock. 4pm. Midnight in Belfast. Merry Christmas, guys. He didn’t begrudge them their alone time. They were caught in an impossible situation just as he was. He didn’t know why they didn’t just give up and let him go.
He felt restless, and put the album down to stretch his legs. He wandered aimlessly through Rory and Lorcan’s house, finally coming to a halt before a framed image of the original Triumvirate: Rory, Takeshi, and Layla. Takeshi and Rory had resigned to spend more time together in Takeshi’s twilight years, and Layla had stepped into Nick’s shoes as Archangel when he had retired to rule Sanctuary. We had so much hope then. When did I lose that?
The familiar surroundings felt suddenly oppressive. Maybe I do need a change. He looked around the walls and his gaze settled on a picture of him and his brother Toby, standing next to Rafael Tervilant, the captain of Nick’s ship, the Starlight.
Except he was Rafael Primogenitor Curallorn, now. Another man with a high pressure job. It’s been a long time since I went to see Raf. Maybe he’d be interested in drinks?
On impulse, Nick grabbed his jacket out of the closet and pulled a bottle of Tiamat from storage. He stepped to the teleport gateway. His AI gave him the coordinates he asked for, and he jumped to the House Curallorn Stronghold beneath the pre-Columbian mound city of Cahokia in central Illinois.
He made his way down into the complex, to the administrative levels and Rafael’s office. Sticking his head in, he saw Rafael working through a mound of work similar to what had been on his own desk. “Hey, Raf.”
Rafael looked up sharply, then sat back in his chair as he studied Nick. “Hello, Nicholas. It’s been a long time.”
“Working hard?”
Rafael shrugged. “Always.”
“I know the feeling. Care to knock off early and get a drink?” He raised the bottle in his hand.
Rafael considered the offer. “Sure, why not?” He glanced at the clock. “It’s still another couple of hours to sunset here. Do you have a preference for someplace dark?”
“Rory and Ruarc are in Belfast tonight. Maybe we could hook up with them later. There can’t be much to do there on Christmas Eve.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
The two of them jumped to Belfast and wandered the streets until they came to a park. They dusted the snow off one of the benches and had a seat, taking turns at sipping from the bottle.
The conversation wandered from topic to topic until they came around to Rory and Lorcan. “They don’t seem to get that I have a demanding job,” Nick said. “Just because I always put in long hours doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong.” He looked at Rafael who took another swig from the bottle. “You have a job like that. You must understand where I’m coming from.”
Rafael handed the bottle back. “Sadly, I do. But not the way you think.”
Nick paused in the act of drinking. He looked back at Rafael, who stared at the stars. “Meaning what?”
“Meaning I don’t work long hours for the sake of my job. I work that much to forget the pain of losing your brother.”
Nick put the bottle carefully down on the ground. “Raf, I know you and Toby were good friends, but—”
“I loved him.”
Nick looked at the man he had called a friend for almost sixty years, and suddenly saw a stranger. “You and Toby?”
Rafael dropped his gaze from the sky and met Nick’s incredulous stare. “I wanted him so much, but he only wanted her. So I never told him. You remember how that feels.”
Nick swallowed, remembering his best friend and dyad brother, Scott. His grandson sent me a Christmas card last year. “Does Layla know?”
“It was the reason she invited me to join her House, so I could watch over their son.”
Nick didn’t want to think about his nephew, Antonio, traveling the stars for the Spacer Guild. When did I lose touch with everything mortal?
“Raf, why didn’t you ever tell me any of this before?”
“Because it didn’t matter. Toby was gone. Antonio was out of reach. Everything I loved was lost to me. So I worked hard and tried to outrun the memories.” Rafael gave him a grim smile. “Just like you.”
“I’m not running from anything,” Nick said. Even to his own ears, it sounded feeble.
“Sanctuary is all you have left of him, and you bury yourself in it so you don’t have to feel the loss. Believe me, Nicholas, I do understand.”
Nick got to his feet and glared down at his old friend. “He asked me to take care of Sanctuary!”
“Did you always do everything he asked?”
“Yes!”
“He asked you to let Rory and Ruarc help you. Did you do that as well? Or did you just tolerate their friendship for appearances sake?”
Nick shivered, though he was immune to the cold. “I can’t be what they want me to be.”
“How do you know what they want?”
“They want me to love them!” shouted Nick. “How can I ever give them that?”
For the first time Rafael looked shocked. “Did they say that?”
Nick rubbed at his eyes. “No, of course not.”
“Then is it what they want that you’re running from, or is it what you want?”
“I can’t … I can’t want them.” Nick collapsed back onto the bench. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I can’t betray Jeremy like that.”
“Nick … forgive me for saying so, but Jeremy handed you over to Rory and Ruarc like a slab of beef. Are you sure it would be a betrayal?”
“Of course, it would. He wanted them to help me thorough my grief, not seduce me!”
“Are you certain?”
Nick turned his head to stare at Rafael. “What do you mean?”
“The Jeremy I knew was a practical man. Are you sure you know what kind of help he wanted you to accept?”
Nick stood from the bench. “Keep the bottle.” Then he walked away. For a while he wandered aimlessly, then he took a deep breath and asked his AI for directions to the address that he had read on Rory’s note every Christmas for the last ten years.
* * *
It was a relatively small church to have such an unusual congregation. Nick pushed the door open and stepped inside. Immediately, he felt the tingle of holy ground, but only on the right side of the doors. The left side of the church remained free of spiritual power. He walked to the left side and scanned the pews for Rory and Lorcan, finally finding them seated together near the front, Lorcan’s arm over Rory’s shoulders. He watched them from the back of the church throughout the rest of the service, ignoring the words of the priest and the singing of the choir. Then the deacon dismissed the worshippers and they all stood to leave. Rory and Ruarc remained seated as the others filed slowly out of the church. Finally, when the crowd had thinned out, the two of them stood and walked down the aisle toward the rectory. Rory was talking as they walked, and he turned to face Lorcan a step behind him as he raised his hand to knock at the door.
That’s when Rory saw him.
In that single moment, while Nick watched him with his senses fully open, Rory’s shields slipped in surprise, just for a moment, and Nick saw the emotion that blossomed in his mind before his shields reasserted themselves.
Hope.
Lorcan turned around to see what Rory was staring at, and caught sight of Nick as well. The elated smile that creased his face seemed to burn through Nick, and the church seemed suddenly sweltering. He didn’t move, just broke into a sweat as they walked back to where he was standing.
Lorcan reached him first, and swept him up in a bear hug. “You came!”
Rory smiled as he joined them. “We’ve been trying to get you to dump the desk for ten years! What made you decide to come out with us finally?”
Nick faced Lorcan. “Do you remember what you
said to me in the double bridge?”
Lorcan’s expression grew suddenly guarded, and Rory stopped smiling.
Lorcan answered cautiously. “I said a lot of things that day.”
“You made me a promise,” said Nick, his voice barely above audible to human ears. To the three vampires, however, his words were clear.
Lorcan swallowed. “If your heart thaws, I will be waiting.”
Nick met his gaze. “Someday, I might come for you.”
Rory took a deep breath and let it out. “What are you saying, Nicholas?”
Nick turned to him. “If I ask you a question, will you answer honestly? Please?”
Rory glanced once at Lorcan, then nodded. “I will, if that’s what you want.”
“Why did Jeremy give me to you?”
Instead of answering, Rory extended a tendril of thought toward him. Nick linked to it, finding that Rory had already opened a similar link to Lorcan.
Then Rory reached into his memory and drew out Jeremy’s voice. “Make him remember that he loves you both, just as much he loves me. I can’t love him forever, but you can. Please. Don’t let me die and leave him all alone.”
Nick stood there frozen, not even realizing he was crying until Lorcan wiped his tears away with his thumb. Finally, Nick reached out along the link to both of them. “I haven’t forgotten.”
Out loud, he said what was in his heart. “Let’s go home.”
CHAPTER 11
April 2108, Court of Shadows Council Chamber Complex, Alexandria, Egypt
“This is outrageous!” said Javier Magister Tervilant from the Challenger’s Lectern. “My lord Imperator, how can you even think of perverting a formal mating in this matter?”
Lorcan stood from his place at the high table. “Prince Javier, it’s my mating to pervert, and Prince Sean never declared me his Leshir. He is perfectly within his rights to bestow his favors elsewhere.”
Javier glared at Rory and Nick, standing together at the Champion’s lectern. “The three of you are making a mockery of one of our most cherished institutions. Formal matings are always monogamous. It cannot be otherwise.”
Starlight(Pact Arcanum 4) Page 5