“Where did you end up getting the money to start PFS then?”
“My grandfather, my mom’s dad, loaned me the money I needed to start up PFS. I paid him back, with interest of course, within a year.”
“Wow… you’re lucky you had someone who believed in you enough to loan you that much money even when your parents said no.”
“I understood where my parents were coming from. They wanted me to have work experience to fall back on in case the company didn’t succeed.”
“Have you ever thought about returning to school?”
“Not really. I mean, I’ve gotten this far without it; PFS is obviously a success so I don’t know that an advanced college degree would make much of a difference. I’ve thought about taking a class here or there, especially in technology as there are times when I struggle to understand some of the spreadsheet equations and how they were generated. Maybe someday I will, but right now I don’t think I have the time to sit through classes, homework and projects for hours each week. PFS takes up nearly all the spare time I have as it is.”
“I bet.”
“So… you grew up on the west coast you said?”
“For the most part; I moved around a lot when I was a child but pretty much stayed around that cost.”
“Do you have family in New York?”
“No.”
“Ah, so you must have moved here with a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Okay… ” I’m sure he can tell this is a conversation I would rather not have. “Do you have any siblings?”
“No, I’m an only child.”
“I take it you’re not very close to your family?”
“Let’s just say I didn’t have the best childhood. I would rather leave that door closed, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course, I’m sorry.”
“I… my father died shortly after I was born. I don’t remember him and I was never really close to my mother.”
“I’m sorry, Kenzie.”
We spend the next few minutes in silence, both of us picking at our food, not really knowing what to say to each other.
“The shrimp is really good,” I finally decide to break the silence.
“I’m glad you like it. This place is nice because it offers a nice selection besides seafood, even though that’s what most people come here for.”
“I can see why.”
Thankfully, the former conversation has returned because some things, my things, are better left unsaid.
“Can I ask… how do you know Bridget? I know her from different fundraising events that we both attend.”
“We were strangers until she insisted a store manager hire me one day.”
“That’s Bridget. She seems like the type who is used to getting exactly what she wants.”
“Absolutely,” I laugh in agreement. “I helped her with a situation in the store one day and then she insisted the manager hire me and that I be put in charge of her account. I worked there for about a year and a half.”
“You quit because of Bridget?”
“Yes and no. I could have probably continued working, although it would have been a scheduling nightmare since I primarily worked evenings and weekends. I knew I couldn’t work three jobs, so one had to go. I really enjoy working at the bakery which made the decision easier.”
We spent the rest of dinner talking about and getting to know each other. It was surprisingly comfortable and I was grateful that Nicholas didn’t pry into my past—I think he could tell it was a topic I wasn’t comfortable talking about. The conversation stayed pretty much on the present, with Nicholas doing most of the talking, especially about PFS and the different projects they are working on. Without realizing it, we talked most of the night away and soon we were the only ones left in the restaurant.
“I guess we should head home,” Nicholas glances around the empty dining room.
“They’re probably waiting for us to leave so they can close for the night. I hadn’t realized how late it was.”
“Me neither.”
We’re both quiet on the way back to The Accord Towers, but it’s a comfortable silence. Although, come to think of it, I can’t recall a time when I haven’t been comfortable with Nicholas, surprising since it’s usually rare for me to be comfortable around anyone. Tonight is the first time when we are just Nicholas and Kenzie. There is no looming contract over our heads like during our first meeting, or people watching us when we have attended events together. Tonight is has been about us; different… nice but different. When we arrive back at The Accord Towers, Nicholas escorts me back to my condo, only this time Carter waits in the elevator for him rather than walking down the hall with us.
“I had a nice time tonight, Kenzie.”
“Me too.”
He leans down to kiss me on my cheek as he has done every time we part, only this time his lips land closer to my lips. I can feel his breath on my cheek—I know if I were to move my head just slightly, his lips would be on mine. It’s tempting… so very tempting, but I have to remind myself that this is all for show. This is nothing more than a business transaction; Nicholas is kissing me only for appearances. And not for the first time, I find myself wondering how his lips would feel on mine. If this weren’t a business transaction, would he want to kiss me? Would he even be interested in me?
“Good night, Kenzie,” he places one final kiss just next to the corner of my lips before pulling back.
“Night…” We stand there, looking at each other for some time before Nicholas finally pulls away and heads back to the elevator.
I quickly unlock my door, turn off the alarm and close the door behind me before collapsing onto the loveseat in the living room. I can’t remember the last time I felt like this: the last time I actually wanted a guy to kiss me. I need to do something because I can’t keep thinking about it. This is supposed to be a business deal: a transaction, between two people. I’m not supposed to be attracted to him. He could never want someone like me… he’s only interested in me now because of this arrangement. If it weren’t for Bridget, he probably wouldn’t have noticed me.
Chapter 17
Nicholas
Flashback
“Mommy hungry… mommy… wake up,” I shake her.
“Go away.”
“Mommy, belly hurts.”
“Find something; there’s food in the fridge.”
“No, gone. No food.”
“Look in the cabinets then; I’m tired, leave me alone.”
The food is gone in the cabinets too; it’s always gone. I wish my Mommy would just wake up. I wish Mommy would be like Suzie’s mom who bakes cookies and cooks us yummy food. Why doesn’t my mommy cook? Why doesn’t my kitchen have all the food that Suzie’s does?
“Mommy… ”
“Go away, you little shit; I’ll get up and deal with you later.”
Another night of broken sleep though I shouldn’t be surprised, my nightmares always come back when I least expect it. I thought tonight would have been different since I fell asleep much faster than normal and didn’t toss and turn as much. I should have expected the end to a nice night would be like this.
What surprised me though was last night itself. I had arranged to take Kenzie out for dinner, just the two of us… I was afraid that if she were only seen with me at public events that someone might start thinking that we weren’t really together. For my public image transformation plan to be successful, I need everyone to be convinced that we are a normal couple which means going out sometimes, just the two of us. I expected dinner to be awkward without a public event to force us to keep up appearances. But once again, Kenzie managed to surprise me.
Dinner was anything but uncomfortable. We easily found things to talk about and there really wasn’t a time when things were awkward between us. I confirmed last night what I suspected from our first meeting: Kenzie does not like to talk about herself and will do almost anything to avoid talking about her past. I can’t hel
p but wonder, why she not talk about her childhood, her family or even something simple like why she decided to move to the east coast? People don’t just up and decide to leave Denver to move to New York, at least not without a good reason.
When she said she didn’t have family out here, I just assumed she followed love, that some guy she was with decided to move here and she followed. She denied that but once again gave me no clue as to why she would move across country. I’m tempted to ask Carter to dig deeper into her background; there has to be something there to explain why she left or what happened to her family. Carter assured me there was nothing out of the ordinary in her background report but I know she is hiding something.
Either what she is hiding doesn’t appear on her background report because it is something that was never reported, or she has managed to find someone to bury certain details of her past which isn’t easy and I should know. If it wasn’t for this damn contract with Bridget, I would just look at the full background report myself but I gave her my word that I wouldn’t pry into her personal information and I’m trying like hell to uphold my end of the contract. Plus, the thought of Kenzie getting mad at me again bothers me, although I don’t know why it should. I piss people off on a daily basis in my business and don’t think twice. Yet here I am worried that Kenzie will get mad; she was really upset by the fact that Carter even ran a background check on her. I don’t know how she would react if she knew I had him dig deeper or that I even read the report.
Trying to push thoughts of Kenzie out of my mind, I take a shower and start to weed through my many emails that came in during dinner. Once again I find myself waiting a reasonable time before I let Carter know I want to go for a run. Running helps pull me from my nightmares; it clears my mind and gets me ready for the day. Of course as luck would have it, it’s raining outside and I despise running when it’s raining hard. A few minutes later, Carter and I are in the gym of The Towers running on treadmills instead.
I’m listening to music, lost in my thoughts which are focused on trying to find the next big project for PFS to take on. I don’t know how long I run but when I finally look up I see an absolutely stunning woman standing next to the pool. One wall of the gym overlooks the built-in Olympic size swimming pool one floor below the gym, but the ceiling of the room extends to the height of the gym. Not too many people use the pool but this morning there is a sexy brunette standing at the edge, almost as if she is trying to decide if she is going in. I can only see her back, but from what I can see, she looks incredibly sexy in the bikini she is wearing. Without warning, she dives perfectly into the pool, swimming the entire length before lifting her head up for air. She swims several times back and forth without stopping. I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to stop watching her. It’s almost like I’m drawn to her.
After several minutes, or perhaps longer, the beautiful brunette climbs out of the pool once again giving me a perfect view of the profile of her body. She has long legs that seem to go on forever; a small ass but one that I could see filling my hands perfectly. I can tell from this angle her stomach is completely flat and firm. Her breasts are perfect just like the rest of her: not too big, but not too small either. I can’t help but picture what she would look like naked beneath me. Fuck, she wouldn’t even have to be naked, she could stay in the bikini she has on right now.
I wonder what it would be like to walk into the pool area, push her against the wall, move her bikini bottom aside and thrust into her. I would hold her wrists in one hand behind her back, the other would be gripping her firm ass as I fuck her hard against the wall until she begs me to make her come. Of course, no one would be able to see us but the idea of fucking her in public arouses both of us further. We use each other; taking from each other what we both desperately need, a quick hard fuck. I nearly groan aloud as I picture finding my release inside her flat against that wall. Opening my eyes, I’m absolutely stunned at the sight before me.
Kenzie.
Fuck!! Kenzie is the beautiful woman who was swimming in the pool.
What the fuck?!?!? I can’t be picturing fucking her! I can’t complicate our perfect arrangement by finding her attractive! FUCK!!!! I knew she likely had an incredible body; some of the dresses she has worn have made that obvious but I never expected to see her in so little clothing as she is wearing right now. I know without even closing my eyes that the image of her in the bikini is burned into my mind. How the fuck am I ever going to look at her again without picturing her like this?
FUCK… FUCK… FUCK… FUCK...
Not only am I now left trying to figure out how to burn the image from my mind, but I’m stuck with a fucking hard on in the middle of the gym! I slow the pace down on the treadmill, close my eyes and begin picturing all sorts of unattractive images in my mind. Finally after several minutes, I am able to get myself under control and thankfully when I open my eyes she is gone from the pool area.
“Let’s go, Carter.”
“Yes, sir.”
Returning to my condo, I immediately take off for my shower to wash the sweat from my body before breakfast and ultimately another day of work, even though it’s Sunday. My mother convinced me to come to dinner tonight so I only have a few hours to get work done before I need to leave. I strip my clothes off and enter the hot shower, letting the water wash away the grime of the gym. I make the mistake of closing my eyes and, of course, the image of fucking Kenzie against the wall in the pool room returns. Unlike at the gym when I was only picturing a body, this time I’m imagining it’s her against the wall. I’m picturing her arms behind her back, her ass in my hand, her pussy gripping me tightly and her moaning in my ear begging me to fuck her harder.
I’m picturing everything I want from her, which is absolutely nothing she would want from me. She is not the type of woman who gets fucked hard against a wall. She is the type who expects to be made love to—something I could never give her. She deserves so much more: she deserves better than me. If nothing else, hopefully this arrangement gives what she needs to improve her life so she can find someone who is right for her… someone who is not me.
Although I know she would never want it, I’m still picturing myself thrusting into her warm body against the cold, hard wall tile. My hand grasps my dick, stroking it as I’m imagining her sex stroking me. I can almost feel her breath against my ear, panting, as I bring her closer and closer to her release. I begin stroking myself faster as I wonder what she would look like when she came. Would she open her eyes? Would she scream my name? Is she quiet or loud when her orgasm finally hits?
”Fuck, Kenzie!” I hiss as I come at the mere thought of how she might look as she came as well.
DAMN IT!!
I need to stop thinking about her like this; picturing her naked isn’t going to help our arrangement, in fact it will only make it worse. How the fuck can I kiss her goodnight on the cheek after a date if I’m picturing her naked against a wall? How can I tell her how beautiful she looks in a dress when I’m imagining what I now know is underneath it?
DAMN IT!!!
I drag myself from the shower, just as my dick is beginning to twitch yet again at the thought of Kenzie’s body against mine. It was hard enough last night after dinner to kiss her on the cheek, especially when she looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and I couldn’t help but wonder how her soft lips would feel against mine. What the fuck am I going to do the next time I see her? How am I going to keep my hands or lips off her? I need to do something or not only will I break the terms of our contract but I will risk losing the perfect solution to my public image situation as I have no doubt that she does not think of me the way I think of her.
I force myself to focus on work the remainder of the day, pushing her as far away from my mind as possible. It’s the only thing I can do, because if I sit and think about her much longer, I’m tempted to take the elevator down the few floors that are separating us right now and do something she will hate. For the first time I understand why Bridge
t’s contract insists that our addresses remain private; it would be so much easier if I didn’t know she was only a few floors below me…
“Sir?” Carter pulls me from my thoughts which have once again become nearly entirely focused on Kenzie.
“I’ll be ready to leave in five.”
Thankfully the ride to my parent’s house is not focused on Kenzie. I have a slew of emails from Alex that provide me with details about several companies requesting our assistance. The fact that Alex and I are both working on a Sunday afternoon doesn’t surprise me; a successful business doesn’t get built by working only Monday through Friday, nine to five. Especially when some of the companies we work with are all over the globe, which means in they are in different time zones. Alex knows just as well as I do that our business requires “nontraditional” hours and thankfully he has no problem putting in these hours.
Before I realize it Carter has stopped the car in front of my parent’s house, I quickly finish my last email and let Alex know that I will be unavailable for the next couple of hours. My parents hate it when I spend dinner on my phone so when at all possible I try to respect their wishes and not respond to emails unless they are urgent. Alex knows the routine and will call if something comes up and I don’t respond right away to his email.
“Nicholas!” Cara races out the front door to great me before I reach the door.
“Cara… One day you’re going to knock me to the ground,” I can’t help but wrap my arms around her and twirl her around.
“Where’s Kenzie? I was hoping you would bring her tonight,” she pouts
“I told mom, Kenzie was busy tonight and not able to make it to dinner,” I lie.
“I know... I was still hoping you would bring her.”
“Another time, perhaps.”
“We were just looking at the picture of you two from last night, which is why I was hoping you would bring her.”
“Picture?”
“From your date…”
On His Terms (The Arrangement Series Book 1) Page 18