by Andrew Hicks
‘And after the night in the village?’
‘We walked for about five hours. Went down to a river and spent the night in huts, then the next day, elephant rides and bamboo rafting. That bit was tourist stuff, though the mountains and jungle are still the real thing.’
‘And after Chiang Mai?’ asked Ben artlessly.
‘Well, you know what happened after Chiang Mai, don’t you, Ben.’
‘You mean you cocking it up and not finding me at the Regal when I was there all the time?’
‘It wasn’t my fault if the receptionist was incompetent,’ said Emma.
‘Bloody was! It was horrible for me, you not showing up.’
‘But I asked at reception and they told me you weren’t there. Not fun for me either.’
‘Bet you were pleased you missed me though,’ he moaned.
‘Come on Ben, give us a break!’ she said, exasperated.
As they were talking, she looked up at the departures screen above their heads and saw that their flight was now listed for check in. The moment of tension was immediately forgotten and Ben got up and followed close behind as she walked briskly to the check-in desk, wheeling their bags on the trolley.
‘Passport and ticket Ben, and put the stuff on the scales,’ she said as they reached the desk.
‘Anything you say m’lady,’ teased Ben.
‘Can we have two seats together please,’ she asked the check-in clerk, ‘preferably with a window and near the back.’
‘Why at the back?’ he asked her.
‘You get a better view from behind the wing and if the plane crashes you’re the last to crash.’
The next long wait was in the departures lounge where Ben browsed in Asia Books while Emma struggled with her novel. When he sat down again, they continued the debriefing where they had left off.
‘So after Chiang Mai, Cambodia was it?’ he asked her.
‘Yes, Angkor Wat was something … the biggest ancient temple complex in the world. It really made up for the road from Poipet to Siem Reap. Six hours like sardines in the back of an open pick-up … heat and dust, sore bum, broken back and nowhere to put your legs. Don’t know how we survived.’
‘That travel agent girl in Khao San warned us, didn’t she.’
‘Yes, but it was worth it … Khmer temples everywhere, and the countryside’s so beautiful. Siem Reap’s attractive in a dusty sort of way with a river and bullock carts … the cartwheels have seventeen spokes, same as on the temple carvings. But now they’re going for tourism in a big way and it’s all changing too fast.’
‘How’s Cambodia compared to Thailand?’ he asked her.
‘It’s dirt poor … decades behind. Sitting in a French bistro with a line of amputees on the pavement looking in at us eating nouvelle cuisine for a quid or two really got to me. Though I wouldn’t have missed going to Angkor with my mates for anything.’
‘Better than being with me?’ he said playfully.
‘Shut up, Ben!’ she said with a smile, pulling in her legs to let some people go by.
‘So where did you go then, Emm?’
‘After Angkor, south to Samui and Koh Pha Ngan. I loved the islands.’
‘Go with the same people?’
‘No, not all of them.’
‘You there for the Full Moon Party?’
‘Just got back … that’s why I’m so knackered.’ She pulled a wry face.
‘Hideous or what?’
‘Well, if you like Ibiza and the other big scenes, it was amazing … but better because it’s on a brilliant beach. I wasn’t wowed by it that much … but yeah, I enjoyed it. Some of the party posers got to me though … all pumped up and preening and carrying these little plastic buckets.’
‘For making sandcastles?’
‘No sweetie!’ she said derisively. ‘Buckets with drinking straws sticking out of ’em … usually a set of Red Bull, Sang Som and cola. Pretty lethal … but fun! The music’s good too and for company you’ve got about seven thousand sweaty people to choose from.’
‘So who did you choose then?’ quizzed Ben, half-seriously.
‘Wouldn’t you like to know!’ she said, watching carefully for his reaction.
‘Not that bothered,’ he replied, pausing for effect. ‘I’ve got good memories of that full moon too.’
Emma looked at him hard, but it was too risky asking questions as any personal revelations would have to be reciprocated.
‘Hat Rin’s incredible in the moonlight, but the Full Moon Party’s a bit over the top,’ she said, sticking to safer ground. ‘Incredible how they keep the booze flowing.’
‘It’s big money keeping that number of people pissed all night.’
‘Tell you what really bugs me though,’ she added. ‘It’s one thing the Thais having a good time and trashing their own place, but we ought to feel guilty doing it for them.’
She leaned back and yawned. It had been a long wait and the screen was still showing their flight as checking in.
‘So it was pretty good then. Thailand was okay after all?’ asked Ben.
‘I adore it … but I feel bad about what mass tourism’s doing. You know, the sex trade, uncontrolled development on the beaches and so on.’
‘Like on Koh Chang … it’s an environmental disaster waiting to happen.’
‘And my travelling was a bit superficial too. I’m not sure I even began to scratch the surface. You meet other travellers which is great but you can’t even come close to the Thais. I love them to bits but it’s so difficult to get to know them.’
Feeling suddenly unsettled, Ben wandered over to a window and stared out at the aircraft parked on the apron. Emma’s comment about the Thais had brought back the pain of parting in all its fury. Not so far away, Fon would now be asleep in her hut with Joy and he was about to board a plane and fly to the other side of the world.
His thoughts were interrupted by Emma coming across and wanting to talk.
‘So you made lots of friends after I went?’ she asked him.
‘Sure did, especially on Koh Chang,’ he said as they sat down again.
‘Where else did you go then?’
‘Went to the North East.’
‘Why the North East?’ she probed.
‘To get away from the tourists and see a bit of the real Thailand.’
‘How did you manage that?’
‘Stayed with a rice-farming family in the middle of nowhere near Buriram.’
‘And who were they?’ she persisted.
‘Thai friends who asked me to go,’ he said evasively, glancing around the lounge.
‘Yes, but who? Spill the beans, Ben.’
‘Two sisters from Koh Samet … took me to see their mum.’
‘Did I meet them?’
‘No, not really,’ he said, staring vacantly at the people sitting opposite.
‘Hang on, you don’t mean that masseur? Fon was it?’
He hesitated before answering.
‘Yes … but so what? Her sister Jinda came too.’
‘Ben, I had a feeling you were going to go crazy about Fon. I know you too well.’
‘Sod off Emm. I haven’t asked what you’ve been up to.’
‘And I haven’t asked you either. But I hope to God you knew what you were doing and haven’t messed her about.’
‘What d’you mean? Course I didn’t mess her about,’ he said edgily.
‘You know exactly what I mean, you donut. If she took you to meet her family, it must’ve been a big thing for her.’
‘No, it wasn’t like that at all. She’s serious and independent and not into boyfriends. And anyway she’s got her dead sister’s child to look after.’
They were interrupted for a moment by a couple wanting the seats next to them.
‘So what did the sister die of?’ Emma asked, refusing to be distracted.
‘No idea.’
‘And do you know why Fon took the child? When we had our bust-up you told me she had a b
oyfriend somewhere.’
‘What are you getting at?’ he said, leaning forward and staring at the floor.
‘Nothing … but can you take everything she says at face value? She probably tells you what she thinks you want to hear.’
‘I’m sure I can trust her,’ he said sharply, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
‘But can she trust you, Ben? Knowing you, you probably raised her hopes and promised the earth. You don’t know you’re doing it, but you come on so strong.’
‘Course I didn’t! And she’s quite capable of looking after herself anyway,’ he said irritably.
‘But you’re so unequal, Ben. The thought of marrying a rich foreigner must be irresistible, even for the most independent Thai woman. Especially as she’s got a child to think of.’
‘Come on, Emm! Marriage? Do you really think I’d rush into something with a girl off the beach who hardly speaks English. Anyway there’s not a chance of me staying in Thailand or making a living here … even if I wanted to.’
‘And what would mummy think if you brought home a Thai masseur?’ she taunted him.
‘No way! It’d never work in England,’ he said, glaring back at her, unable to believe he was saying all this.
‘So Ben, the whole affair was a non-starter from the beginning, wasn’t it,’ said Emma, rubbing it in. ‘But I bet Fon doesn’t look at a quick fling in the way you do. I dread to think of her falling for you and waiting on the island for you to come back and rescue her.’
‘No Emm, you’ve got it all wrong,’ said Ben looking rattled.
‘Have I? I hope so for Fon’s sake.’
The screen was now listing Qantas flight QF301 as ready for boarding, so they gathered their things and walked to the boarding gate, Ben silent and miserable.
Sitting together on the plane for the long flight home, they were plied with surprisingly good food and a generous flow of Australian wine. Feeling mellow and sleepy, both their tongues began to loosen.
‘So our Thailand trip didn’t exactly turn out as we expected, did it,’ said Ben.
‘In Bangkok I wished I’d never come. Once I’d dumped you, it was okay though,’ said Emma with a twinkle.
‘I love you too, Emm! Bet you went wild on your own.’
‘Well, it’s my life, but if you really want to know, I didn’t go to Chiang Mai with a bloke … I went with two. Though now there’s nothing ongoing as they say.’
‘You went off me bigtime, didn’t you,’ he said resentfully. ‘Can’t think why.’
‘Because you really pissed me off, Ben Farnsworth. You and your talk about having a cultural experience when you were only there for the beer. All you wanted was to skate over the surface and use the place as an adventure playground, just like the typical traveller.’
‘Well, I saw more than you did. I went out and helped with the rice harvest in the North East and met the locals.’
‘And got into their knickers! That’s one way in I suppose.’
‘No, seriously, Emm. I learned a lot … I mean about the gap between us and the rest of the world,’ he said earnestly. ‘Think of the rice farmers next time you chuck rice in the bin. We’re seriously rich compared to them.’
‘Suppose I was only a tourist,’ admitted Emma, ‘so maybe you didn’t do too badly.’
‘You should’ve stuck with me then,’ he grinned.
‘No, Ben, splitting up was the right thing. It gave us the chance to be ourselves for a change.’
She stared out at the light on the wing tip flashing in the darkness.
‘But Emm, it was a real shock when you dumped me … couldn’t see what I’d done wrong,’ he said quietly.
‘You mean all those naughty things that made me cross!’ she said icily. ‘Like you leering at the strippers, just gagging to fuck them? I wasn’t jealous, but you were so pathetic, Ben. And you walked all over me.’
‘No, I never!’ he said without much conviction.
‘You damned well did! You took me for granted, you didn’t listen to me, didn’t give me any space … and, worst of all, you told me I was fat. You managed to make me feel bad about myself in just about every way possible.’
‘That’s really rubbish.’
‘ … and just when I was having an all-time low.’
‘Were you, Emm? Why?’ he said, sounding surprised.
‘Think it was a touch of DAG syndrome. You know … depression after graduating. So I tried binge eating and travelling with you instead. Stupid or what!’
‘Thanks Emm! Anyway, it was the same for me … I’d just graduated too.’
‘Yes, but you’ve always got your family backing you up and you never have any doubts about yourself. You were just so bloody irritating, Ben, I could’ve killed you.’
‘Still homicidal are we then?’ he joked.
‘Not now … well, not quite as bad. Maybe I don’t care any more.’ She downed the rest of her red wine and looked around for the stewardess.
‘Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect man, but at least I didn’t go with any of the bar girls … not once.’
‘I wouldn’t be sitting anywhere near you if I thought you had!’ she said forcefully.
‘And, Emm, I’m sorry I got up your nose in Bangkok, because now the commercial sex scene really turns me off. Selling the Thai girl to promote tourism makes me puke.’
‘You always were a bit slow off the mark. In Spain when I wouldn’t go to the bullfight you thought I was being a wimp. Same as the bullfighting, just by sitting in the bars and buying beer you sustain the trade in women.’
‘Suppose it does …’
‘And for God’s sake Ben, stop calling them Thai girls … they’re not girls, they’re women.’
‘Okay, Emm, it’s a fair cop!’ he said with a smile, though he knew she had a point.
‘And it’s what you were saying about the wealth gap too,’ Emma went on. ‘It’s so difficult not to exploit ordinary Thai people in whatever we do.’
‘You don’t have to remind me,’ he said.
‘Don’t I?’ she demanded. ‘It’s why I worry about you being so close with Fon.’
Emma expected him to reply but he just sat looking glum before changing the subject.
‘So we’re the wealthy ones eh, Emm? Going to pay off the overdrafts are we then?’
‘Dunno about you, but I am. Didn’t tell you … I think I’ve got a job.’
‘Wicked! Tell me more,’ he said, looking pleased.
‘You remember I had an interview with Consageo?’
‘Who?’
‘Used to be Consolidated Biscuit … head office in Swindon. I applied for their management training scheme more than six months ago and they kept my application on file. Just got an email from Mum saying they’re making me an offer.’
‘Fancy you beating me to a job, Emm. Now I’ll really have to pull my finger out.’
‘Typical! That was vintage Farnsworth,’ she said sourly.
‘Sorry Emm … and sorry about all the other stuff in Bangkok too. Got kind of over-excited I guess. Hope I’ve matured a bit since the slap in the face.’
‘Well, there was plenty of room for improvement, wasn’t there.’
‘Thanks Emm, thanks a million!’
He settled back in his seat and pulled the blanket up around his neck.
Neither of them slept very much and, as the plane crossed Europe, Emma was aware that Ben was awake.
‘Three years at uni together seemed a lifetime, didn’t it,’ she whispered, ‘but it’s funny how little you really know each other.’
‘Emm, I thought I could read you like a book.’
‘No, Ben … you didn’t see the changes coming.’
‘And maybe there are some things about your partner you can never discover,’ he said.
‘Like what?’
‘Like whether you were upset when you missed me at the Regal.’
‘Or whether you slept with Fon,’ she retorted.
&n
bsp; ‘Not that again! Does it really matter that much?’
‘Yes Ben, it does. If it matters to Fon, it matters one hell of a lot.’
Flying west across the world, the night seemed an eternity. Emma envied Ben being met at Heathrow by his mother and was dreading the wait at the bleak coach station with its surly attendants and the depressing bus ride back to Swindon. Thailand had done her good, but life had been on hold for long enough and now she was ready to deal with whatever it threw at her, with or without Ben for company.
Nearing Heathrow, the aircraft left the sunny uplands above the clouds and descended through the gloom for a long approach to the runway. Sitting by the window, Emma could see nothing but greyness. It was a heavy landing in high wind, the plane coming down with a crash, causing one of the overhead lockers to fly open. As they taxied towards the terminal building, she stared out at the rain-swept runway and leaden sky. Thailand seemed somehow irrelevant, already a distant memory.
Epilogue
Three weeks after his return, Ben received a letter from Fon. He found it disturbing to have in his hand the small pink sheet of lined paper closely written in Thai script and to be totally unable to extract any meaning from it. The letter sat in his drawer for almost a week until he went up to London for a job interview with a firm of solicitors in the City. After the interview was over he found a Thai restaurant and a waiter told him what it said.
Fon started by saying she hoped he was okay and that the journey home had passed off safely. Joy was well, but she had heard that her Mama had been ill and she was worried about her. The beach was still crowded with tourists and she was busy with her work every day. She said that on Ben’s birthday, the seventeenth, she had remembered him by getting up early, cooking for the monks and praying for him in the temple; giving alms and making merit is so much better than squandering money on parties.
The letter then ended on an emotional note, Fon saying she was sorry she had been unable to look at him the day he left the island for the last time. If she had met his eye, she could not have contained her tears. Finally she said she missed him desperately and hoped he would write soon.