Mom and dad? They’d just hover. Noah? He’d come storming back here with a vengeance and demand answers out of Spencer which would probably make things awkward. Then there’s Aiden…I don’t know what to do there. Spencer is his cousin and there’s no doubt that he’ll hear about it eventually and then comes that accusing conversation where he demands to know why I never said anything.
This shit sucks.
All I want is to forget. I wish things were simpler but they haven’t been that way in four years and now that Rivers is back, it’s all that much more complicated.
I just wish I knew how to understand what I’m feeling. I love him so damn much, but I hate him for what he put me through. There’s no getting past that. He’s my family and my pack and I’ll always be there for him, but when it comes to an ‘us’ it’s just not possible. My heart is still too broken and because of that, I’ve managed to hurt everyone else.
I’m such a fucking bitch.
A sigh pulls from deep within me and I sink onto my workbench. I’m supposed to be arranging a dozen roses for a delivery tonight, but every time I look down at the flowers on my table, the will leaves me.
Why does everyone else get to find their happiness and I’m stuck with this awful hatred?
“What’s wrong with you?” Candice asks me as she makes her way around my store, checking over the arrangements she’d put together this morning and making sure that they’re still just as wickedly stunning as they were when she first arranged them.
“Nothing,” I grumble, wanting nothing more than to close my eyes and pretend today isn’t happening. Hell, I might pretend the last few days haven’t happened as well.
Candice scoffs. “You’re so full of shit.”
I resist throwing the pile of thorns I’ve collected at her. She came to me two years ago asking for a job and at first, I was reluctant to give her one, but the business was booming and I was going crazy keeping up with all the orders on my own. After I ‘ummed’ and ‘ahhed’ over whether to hire her or not, I finally gave in and she’s been here ever since.
I had to teach her the ropes and I quickly realized that she’s done a hell of a lot of growing up since high school. I even consider her one of my friends now, though I’m not pushing it. It’s not like we’re BFFs and tell each other our darkest secrets. So, when she says shit like that to me, I don’t fly off the handle like I would have had we still been in high school.
“Shut up,” I tell her. "Remember, I’m still your boss.”
“Uh-huh,” she grins, focusing on tidying up a tulip arrangement that looks a little tired. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Dock your pay and spend my savings on finding your replacement.”
“You can’t do that and you know it.”
“I know,” I groan, pushing myself up from the table and trying to look alive. “But I can think about it and picture just how nice this place would be without your endless ramblings. Trust me, it’s going to bring me all sorts of joy.”
Candice chuckles to herself and shakes her head. “You’re such a dork. But seriously, what’s this mood about? Is it because Spencer was hanging out with Lacey last night?”
My head whips around to her. “What? What are you talking about?”
Her brows dip down in confusion as she watches me for a silence beat. “Yeah, I saw them at dinner last night. I didn’t think much of it because you guys are all friends, but it was kind of strange that it was just the two of them. Looked like more of a date if you asked me, but I know how much he’s into you so it’s probably nothing.”
My head drops straight back down to the table and I instantly wonder how bad it would be for business if I just closed up for the next year or so and drowned my sorrows in bed. I could come back from it…I think.
I don’t know why it should bother me so much. We ended it as I was clearly a pretty shit girlfriend. Spencer deserves someone who will love him in that same intense way that he loves and it’s not fair for me to hold onto him knowing I’ll never love him like that, but still…if that was a date with Lacey last night then that kind of sucks. I mean, we’ve only been apart a few days.
My face squishes into the table and I glare at the wall. “He broke up with me.”
The tulip drops from her hand and she turns and looks at me in shock. “What?” she shrieks. “Just…what? Are you shitting me?”
“Nope.”
“He broke up with you?”
“Yup.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t the other way around?”
“Seriously?”
Candice’s eyes narrow on me and I groan as I can practically see the light bulb flashing above her head. A sly grin slowly creeps across her face. “It’s because of Rivers, isn’t it? Because he’s back. You know, I heard he’s done some growing over the past four years.”
She’s damn right, he has. He looks mighty fine with those strong arms and intense eyes, but I’m not about to dive into that sinkhole. “It’s not because of Rivers.”
“You know, in high school, you were a much better liar.”
Why do people keep saying that?
I roll my eyes. I could probably do without this conversation. I’m just about to tell her where to go when a mountain of a man walks across the front window of my store and stops at the door. “Showtime,” Candice says, collecting the tulip from the ground.
I zip my lips and peel my head off the table while pretending to have a shred of professionalism about myself. I slap on a smile and act as though I’m happy to be here as the giant pushes his way through the door.
The bell above the door jingles and both Candice and I give him a welcoming smile. Candice takes the reins and makes her way across the store. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
The big man cringes and looks at the array of flowers, chocolates, gift baskets, and balloons surrounding him. “I, uh…I’ll let you know.”
Not being one to hover, Candice gives the guy some room to browse and comes to join me behind the workbench. Knowing I’m in a bit of a mood, she takes over the rose arrangement for tonight's delivery while I head over to the counter and start tidying things up.
The big man towers over everything in the store and even has to duck his head to avoid crashing into my ceiling fan. I can’t help but check him out because well, I’m a woman and he’s a fine piece of man meat. He has muscles upon muscles, a sharp jawline covered in stubble that has me wanting to run my fingers over it, and not to mention tattoos covering both of his strong arms.
I glance across at Candice who’s practically drooling but she knows better than to say anything. The guys who come in here are generally already taken and are only here to find something nice for their girl, or girls as it seems a lot of guys in Haven Falls seems to have.
I swear, Valentine's day is the holiday for finding out the dirt in this town. Every fucker comes in here and puts in an order, but it’s the guys who put in two orders, claiming one is for their mom, are the guys you need to watch out for. I mean, what guy is sending his mother a dozen roses on Valentine's day? Clearly, there are a few side chicks running around Haven Falls.
I look back at the beast of a man and can’t help but notice how lost he looks. It makes me smile every time this happens. Guys never know what they’re after when they come in here. Most just come straight up to the counter and start explaining their situation, but the fact that this guy is giving it a good try and having a look tells me he’s actually interested in what he’s looking for.
By his second walk around the store, I start feeling sorry for the guy despite how amused I am. I lean forward on my counter. “Is there anything specific I can help you find?”
His head snaps up and there’s that same cringe marring his handsome face. The need to decline my offer shows on his face but his desperation for help shines through. He lets out a heavy sigh and starts making his way towards my counter. “Look,” he finally says in the deepest voice I’ve ever heard. “I’m
going to lay it all out for you.”
Candice makes her way over as though it’s storytime and he’s about to give us the juiciest gossip. “By all means,” I tell him, raising a curious brow. “Hit me with your situation.”
“I, ah…shit. I hope you ladies don’t get offended easily.”
“No, Sir. We don’t,” Candice purrs.
I roll my eyes but I can’t help that slight thrill that pulses through me. Maybe Candice was right to settle in for storytime. Something tells me the next few minutes are going to be quite entertaining.
“Well, look,” he starts, gesturing down his body. “I’m not exactly a small guy.”
“That you are not,” I agree. “What are you? 6’6? 6’7?”
“6’8 actually,” he grins proudly. “And before you ask, yes, I play basketball.”
“Damn,” Candice sighs. “Are you single?”
“Well, that’s just the thing. I met a girl last weekend and she finally agreed to go out with me last night, and well, one thing led to another and…”
“You took her home?”
“Yep.”
“Ok…” Candice says slowly. “Am I missing something here? This doesn’t seem quite so out of the ordinary.”
The guy grins. “She’s 4 foot 11.”
My eyes bulge out of my head as Candice’s jaw drops. I can’t help but scan my eyes down his body towards his junk. Judging by the size of him, I’m assuming he’s the kind of guy you’d need both hands for, and if he was with a girl who can barely even reach the kitchen sink…well, damn.
“Fuck”’ Candice gasps. “Is she alright? You sent her to hospital, didn’t you? Oh, the poor girl. You probably tore her pussy apart and not in the good way.”
“No,” he laughs with a mischievous sparkle in his brown eyes. “Actually, that’s a story for a another time, but what I was getting at is that she took it like a fucking pro, and well, it’s not often I find a girl who can handle what I’ve got.”
Candice leans over the counter, showing off her cleavage. “Fuck it. I’ll climb on top and give it the good college try.”
“You’ll fucking rein it in and finish off the rose arrangement,” I tell her before turning back to the guy and noticing that Candice hasn’t moved an inch, though I’m not surprised. I wouldn’t want to miss this either. “I’m assuming that you want to see her again?”
“Fuck, yeah.”
“So, what you’re looking for is something that says ‘Thanks for leaving your gag reflex at the door and swallowing my cock like a fucking porn-star?’”
He grins wide. “You see, I was standing out there wondering if you chicks would even understand my issue and you just get it.”
I laugh as I walk out from around the counter and start making my way through the store, plucking out bits and pieces from all different arrangements, not giving a crap that I’m going to have to fix them all up later. This is a special case and this girl deserves the best. After all, the poor girl probably can’t even walk today and if this guy has a shot at hitting it again, then he needs to give her the best fucking flowers in Haven Falls. Hell, maybe I’ll throw in a ‘congratulatory’ balloon from me just to let her know the female population is bowing down.
I bring all the flowers back to my workbench and get busy doing my thing as the big guy leans over my counter and chats with Candice. I laugh along with their ridiculous conversation and shake my head as Candice somehow manages to convince the guy to set her up with his best friend who’s just as big and athletic as he is.
I finish off the arrangement and am just working out the card to go with it when Candice looks up and stares out the front window. “Well, damn. There’s a blast from the past.”
Oh no.
My eyes instantly snap up to take in Rivers across the road talking with one of the few mechanics in town. I don’t doubt they’re discussing his Firebird, or hell, maybe he’s looking for a job or something to keep himself busy until the Military drags him away again.
“He really has grown,” Candice murmurs, definitely approving of the new stronger, buffer, and overall intimidating version of the man I’ve been in love with since I was eleven years old.
I slam my elbow into her ribs. “Keep your eyes to yourself.”
“Why?” she questions, raising a brow. “Is he spoken for?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I clench down on my jaw. It seems this is just the way things are going to go around here now that Rivers is back. Everybody wants to know my business and everybody thinks they’re entitled to know what’s going on inside my heart. “Why don’t you put this order through,” I suggest.
She does what she’s told like a good little employee and I finish off the arrangement before handing it over and sending the big guy on his way.
The bell jingles as he exits the store and I curse the little fucker as the sound has Rivers’ head whipping around. He scans over the store with disinterest as he chats to the mechanic, but it takes all of two seconds for him to realize what he’s looking at and even less time for me to realize that no one has told him about this.
His jaw drops just a touch and he turns directly to face my store while he looks it over. I don’t doubt he’s currently taking in the store name which is flashing in lights reading ‘Read My Tulips’ and is quickly coming to the realization that this is my store.
Rivers waves off the mechanic and starts walking across the road and I swallow back fear. I’m not ready for this.
He left the ball in my court on Monday and there’s no way in hell I’m prepared to face him again, not after he told me everything that I’ve been needing to hear. I’m not strong enough to push him away again.
He walks right up to the front of my store while I stare on with bated breath. I watch as his eyes scan over the flowers and takes in the way I’ve done up the entrance of my store. He looks over the decorations in the front window and then finally his eyes find mine. They shine with unbelievable pride and for the first time since he’s been back, I feel absolutely elated.
Electricity pulses through me just as it does every time he’s near.
Please don’t come in here. Please don’t come in here.
His fingers brush over the bucket of lilies I keep at the very front of my store for my little sister and he scoops one up, letting the stem dangle low. I doubt he knows what kind of flower he’s holding, but the meaning isn’t lost on me.
His eyes bore into mine and I see the desperation within him to run in here and pull me into his arms and I don’t doubt that he sees that reflected in my eyes. But if he can see that, then he can also see that I’m not ready, that now’s not the time, and it’s certainly not the place.
Being the silent brooding hero that I’ve always known him to be, he lowers his chin and takes a step back. That one tiny movement allows me to catch a breath and a wave of relief crashes down over me. As if reading my mind, a sexy as fuck smirk cuts across his face and he sends me a wink before walking away with my lily.
I‘m left panting and it takes me way too long to remember that Candice has been standing right beside me the whole time, witness to the effect Samuel Rivers has on me.
My eyes slowly scan across to her to find her smirking and shaking her head. She grabs the finished arrangement of roses and begins wrapping them as a chuckle pulls from within her. “Tell yourself whatever helps you sleep at night, but just know, that no matter how much you lie to yourself; you’re fucked.”
Chapter 8
Rivers
I gather all the papers that I’ve been preparing with my lawyer over the past week. I don’t know what convinced me to do this but I had to keep myself busy while Henley and Noah are away otherwise, I would have been barging down Tully’s door day in and day out.
I haven’t bothered her since I saw her a few days ago and knowing that she’s so damn close and not being able to be near her is killing me. I hate being away from her, but I need to respect
the fact that she needs space to sort through her emotions.
Everyone keeps telling me how much she’s changed since I went away, but when I look at her, I still see a fighter and that means that she can still deliver one hell of an ass whopping if need be. I’m not here to barge into her life and screw it all around, despite the fact that I sort of am. I want to make her happy, but I want to do it respectfully.
Besides, she’s still with Spencer and I need to let her work that shit out before I go and steal her away. Tully is not a cheater. She hates people like that and I refuse to make her feel as though she has a decision to make. I know in my gut that she’s never going to accept Spencer’s proposal. So, for now, it’s a waiting game.
She’s going to end things with Spencer eventually because her hearts not in it, but it also has me wondering why she’s allowed it to go on so long.
Tully looked so fucking beautiful when I saw her in her store. I’ve never been so damn proud. She’s managed to build everything that she’s ever wanted for herself and done it with her own two hands. She’s so unbelievably strong.
Despite not wanting to bother her, I haven’t exactly been able to keep away. I’ve had an excuse to walk by her store every fucking day this week. I ran out of milk so I went an extra twenty minutes out of my way just to go to the grocery store near ‘Read My Tulips’ and check in on her. Every day it’s getting harder to stay away.
I’m pathetically and hopelessly in love with her and I need to make things right.
A loud buzzing draws my attention away from the papers and I look up to see the woman I haven’t seen in over ten years.
Gina Rivers. My mother.
How did I ever allow Henley to talk me into this shit? This woman is where my issues as a kid started. I never knew the real reasons behind what my mother was doing and why. That’s all shit Henley, Noah, and Tully were able to discover in my absence and now, I guess it’s time for me to face my demons.
Unstoppable: Haven Falls (Book 7) Page 8