“You know that I’m cool with you guys being together, right?” Noah murmurs, for our ears only.
“First of all, that’s bullshit. You’ve never been cool with the idea of me and Rivers together. And second…just no. Too much has happened. Spencer and I only just broke up and…I don’t know. I can’t let him break me like that again.”
“Tullz,” he says looking me right in the eye “You love him and you always will. It’s as simple as that. And for the record, I’ve watched you barely living over the past four years. The sparkle in your eyes has dulled and while Spencer helped keep you together, he didn’t make you feel the way that Rivers does. I mean, fuck. He just walked through the door and you look more alive than you have in years.”
“Would you keep your voice down?” I demand.
He raises a cocky brow. “It’s true though.”
“What’s true?” Rivers asks, striding back into the room and dropping down on the couch right beside me. Though judging from the look in his eye, he already knows exactly what’s being discussed here.
I look across at him and find myself unable to stop the flirtatious smile that has the apple of my cheeks raising and squishing right up into my eyes. “Do you have to make everything your business?”
Rivers’ finger snakes across the couch until it’s pressed right up against mine. He winks and something stirs within me. “Consider it a weakness.”
Henley drops down onto Noah’s lap and just like that, she launches into her recap of her honeymoon all over again so Rivers can hear all the gruesome details. She gets about five minutes in before the boys somehow manage to change the topic in a way that has Henley thinking it was probably her idea.
We cover everything from what we’ve each been up to, not just over the past few weeks, but over the past four years, filling Rivers in on everything that been going on in our lives.
Noah explains how he got into firefighting and how his current chief is getting close to stepping down. He’s been encouraged by everyone he knows to apply for the role, but he’s hesitant as he's not one for paperwork, so who knows what’s going to happen there.
Henley tells Rivers about her four years in college and how she managed to find an incredible job researching DNA just as she always wanted. Though to be honest, when she talks about that stuff, I tend to zone out. It's way too complicated for me to understand. She attempted to explain it all one night and I ended up with a headache. Once she’s done with that, she explains everything that’s been going on with her mom, knowing that deep down, Rivers would want to hear all about it.
The topic has me watching him carefully. I’ve never really known anything about his relationship with his mom and it has me intrigued. Even more so when he tells us that he visited her when he first got home and signed the house back over to her name. Though, that’s about as much as he was willing to say on the topic and quickly shuffles the attention over to me.
I skip straight over myself, not wanting to share the past four years of my life. Besides, he knows the important stuff; I opened my business, it’s successful, and I bought myself a kickass apartment.
As Rivers shares the details of his past four years, I can’t help but think about what Noah said. I love him and it’s as simple as that. But is it? He hurt me when he left, but after hearing what his life was like growing up, I have a better understanding of why he needed to get away from it and why he was so desperate to keep it from not just me but the world.
His years in the military have very clearly changed him. It’s as clear as day that he’s not the same closed of boy that he used to be. He’s a man and he’s come home telling me that he’s finally ready. He’s defeated all his demons yet I’m still here trying to hold it against him.
What the hell is wrong with me? He’s wanting to hand me everything I’ve ever wanted on a silver platter. He’s ready to give me the world and I’m holding on to pain from years ago for something that was out of his control. Yes, he left without saying goodbye, but he was desperate and we’ve all done things we regret out of desperation.
Noah’s right, I do love him and that’s something that will never change. I glance across to Rivers only to find his eyes already on mine with concern deep within their depths, and it hits me. I’m looking at my future, but I’ll never be able to grasp it because I’m too busy punishing him for the past which was something completely out of his control.
I shouldn’t be concerned about hurting Spencer because we all know he’s not concerned about hurting me. So, what the hell am I holding back for?
He’s here and he’s ready to make it work while I’m busy being a fool. I should be grabbing hold of him with both hands and never letting him go.
‘Are you ok?’ Rivers mouths, reaching across the couch to place his hand on my knee.
I nod as I slip my hand under his and weave my fingers between his. ‘More than ok.’
Rivers' eyes narrow in curiosity and I see the questions piling up in his mind. He’s clearly very intrigued by this sudden change of heart, but he’s not about to do anything to push me and risk ruining this moment.
I’m about to tug on his hand and ask him if we can go and talk when Henley gets up and steals my attention. “Where’s Aiden and Barker? I thought they’d be showing up at some point,” she yells over her shoulder as she heads into the kitchen to grab everybody another round of cocktails.
I spin around on the couch and look through to the kitchen as Rivers' thumb runs back and forth over my skin, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. “They’re probably halfway to Vegas by now.”
“What? What the hell for?”
I shrug my shoulders while trying to remember what Aiden had told me the other day, only it’s harder than I thought because it was right after Rivers had left my apartment and my mind was otherwise occupied. “Umm…I think he said something about his little sister’s 21st.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s right. Now you mention it, I think I recall him saying something about a Vegas trip. Did Barker go too?”
I scrunch up my face, feeling like an awful friend for not knowing all this. “Maybe. I don’t know to be honest. I think they’re in the middle of being off in their on-again/off-again relationship.”
“Shit. Really? I hope he’s got someone there with him. Aiden loose in Vegas is not a good mix. He’ll probably get a taste for glitter and become a showgirl.”
“Actually, I picture him as more of a burlesque dancer,” I laugh. “But don’t worry. I’m sure Spencer is probably there to keep an eye on him.”
Rivers scoffs. “Really? First, the dickhead is shacking up with my cousin and now he’s out partying in Vegas?”
“Give Spencer a break,” Henley tells him. “The poor guy just had his heartbroken by the love of his life.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? He broke up with Tully. She’s the one who should be out partying and living it up, not him.”
Henley’s head comes shooting out of the kitchen, leaving her body hidden behind the wall. “WHAT” she gasps, staring at me as though I’ve committed the ultimate betrayal.
I wince before scowling at Rivers. “Really? You just had to go and open your big mouth.”
He grins down at me before tugging on my hand and pulling me into his chest. “Sorry,” he laughs, kissing my temple. “But I’m done letting you play games. No more holding anything back because it’s not been doing you any favors. Besides, there’s nothing better than watching you squirm.”
I shake my head and rest into his chest. “You know, despite what everyone keeps telling me, I kind of hate you.”
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I hate you too.”
Chapter 14
Rivers
There’s nothing better than sitting amongst my pack. The original four. It’s as though we’ve come full circle. We started strong, then I fucked it all up and after four years, we’re finally able to get back to where we started. Though, things have changed and we’ve all grown in our ow
n ways, it will never change the fact that these are my people.
Tully sits curled under my arm as Noah and Henley argue about the finer details of their honeymoon. It’s as though neither of them was actually there and they’re making it up as they go. Either that or they each went on separate honeymoons because the way they’re both recapping it is as though they’re telling me two completely different stories.
“So…” Henley says slowly, turning her gaze on Tully after Noah gave in and let her tell her story the way she wanted. After all, she’s drunk a little too much to bother arguing with. When Henley’s like this, sometimes it’s just better to admit defeat. “Who’s up for a game of ‘Ultimate Truth or Dare?”
A grin spreads wide over my face. I’d recognize that look in her eye anywhere and from the way Tully’s head is shaking against my chest, I’d dare say she knows exactly what Henley’s up to. “I’m in,” I declare.
Noah laughs as he grins at his twin sister. “Count me in, too.”
“No,” Tully says. “No way.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how to have fun,” Noah questions. “Or maybe you’re just a pussy now.”
Tully grabs a cushion and launches across the room at her brother only she misses and it smacks Henley fair and square in the face, though she doesn’t seem to care. “I’m no pussy, Noah Cage. I’m the furthest thing from it. I just don’t feel like having you three fuckers gang up on me. Don’t act as though I haven’t worked out your little game. You idiots are so predictable.”
“Sorry, sis, but being scared that we’re going to gang up on you is something a pussy would do.”
Tully’s eyes narrow and she sits up off my chest to glare at her brother. She sits forward, resting her elbows on her knees and gives her brother a look that I haven’t seen since high school. It’s the one that would have all the girls running scared and the boys dropping at her feet, and I don’t doubt that she hasn’t used it over the past four years. “You’re so fucking on, but you better be warned. I’m not holding back. I promise you, if you three make me do or say something that I don’t want to, you’re all going to pay.”
My dick practically jumps out of my jeans to say hello. How is it one fucking speech about taking me down gets me so hard?
Henley grins excitedly across the room at Tully as I slide down on the couch and adjust myself. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to be sliding into my girl right now. Hell, I don’t even care if she’s pissed off. She can scratch those nails up and down my back for all I care, as long as I get a taste of that warm pussy again. I just had to go and tell her that the ball was in her court. She’s probably going have me waiting for years just to prove some kind of point. Even if she did though, I’d wait and I’d do it with a fucking smile on my face because she’s worth it.
Though, something tells me I won’t be waiting much longer, judging by the way she looked at me earlier. It’s as though she had figured something out or resolved something within herself because she went from cowering in the corner of the couch to holding my hand and allowing me to wrap my arms around her.
I’ve never been so fucking content.
I’m going to marry this girl one day and it’s going to be the best decision I’ll ever make. In fact, I’ve already made it. There’s no ‘umming’ and ‘ahhing’ over this one. She’ll be my wife just as I know that one day she’ll bare my children.
“Alright,” I grin across the room to Henley. “Who’s starting?”
“Fuck that. She’s not choosing. I’m first,” Tully declares, keeping her glare on her twin brother. “Noah. Truth or Dare?”
His eyes narrow right back on hers as they fight for the claim of who gets to be the superior twin. Noah will never stop until he claims the title and I’m pretty damn sure he only gets it because Tully usually grows bored of this game and gives in too quickly, and I have to say, I’m happy to see that some things never change.
Noah raises a brow. “Dare.”
There’s a slight lift in the corner of Tully’s lip that tells me Noah just played right into her hands. “I dare you to take your wife down to Kitty Kat’s Play House and have her pick out five different things of various siz-”
“Whoa. Hold it right there,” I say as my mouth drops. “How the hell do you know about Kitty Kat’s Play House?”
Tully turns to look at me with a sparkle in her eye. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she says with a wink.
Well, shit. I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow my dick is even harder. “Yeah, actually. I would.”
Tully rolls her eyes. “Kat comes and gets fresh flowers for her store nearly every day. Quit stressing. I haven’t turned into some wild, kinky nympho while you’ve been gone.”
“Can we get back on track here?” Henley says. “I’m intrigued by this dare.”
Tully grins. “Right. So, you need to go down to the Play House, find five different things. Could be handcuffs, a vibrator, it could be a twenty-inch, bright pink rubber dildo for all I care, but all five things need to be bought, tried, and tested.”
Noah grins. “Hell yeah. I’m down for this.”
“I’m not finished yet, brother dearest.” His face falls. “Henley will be choosing all five things and all five things need to be used on you in the one…how should I put it? Session?” She smirks devilishly at her brother with a cocked brow, letting him know that he chose today to fuck with the wrong girl. “Simply put, you’re going to let wifey go all ‘50 Shades’ on your ass.”
He shakes his head looking slightly horrified, but slightly intrigued. “No. Who knows what kind of shit she’ll choose.”
“I guess that’s the risk you have to take. I mean, you wouldn’t want to back out and have everyone know that deep down, you’re really just an insecure little pussy.”
“Screw you. You better hope that you don’t get me when your turn comes,” he warns, standing up and taking his wife with him. “We’ll be back, and when we are, you fuckers better be long gone because I’m not about to let my wife defile me while you two are sitting in the next fucking room.”
With that, Noah storms out the door with Henley trailing behind him. She spins around to look at Tully with a grin the size of Texas on her face. “Remind me to thank you after this,” she laughs excitedly before winking and having Noah tug on her arm, making her fall out the door.
“Oh! For the record,” Tully calls after them. “I don’t want to hear about this tomorrow.”
The door is closed and I’m left gaping at my girl. “What the hell was that? You realize you’ll have absolutely no way of knowing if they actually go through with this dare. I taught you better than that.”
A flush takes over her cheeks as she reaches out and takes my hand once again. “I, um…actually did it on purpose.”
My brows dip low. “What are you talking about?”
Tully winces. “I wanted to get rid of them for a while so we could talk and I figured that sex was the only thing that would keep them distracted long enough. Besides, if they actually go through with it, I’ll be set up with decent blackmail for the rest of my life.”
“You realize that he’s going to get you back so much worse.”
“Let him try,” she laughs. “The old Tully is back and I’m betting there’s not a lot he can do to take me down.”
“That’s my fucking girl,” I grin, pulling on her hand and hauling her up onto my lap until she straddles me.
Tully looks down at me and something morphs within her. The cocky attitude that she was using with her brother dissipates into nothing and all that’s left behind is fear. I can’t help but reach up and tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear in my need to touch her. Tully’s head falls into my hand and I look up into her big green eyes. “What is it?” I murmur, needing to know what’s going on in her mind.
“I’ve been making the past three weeks a living hell for you when I should have been inviting you in.”
“Babe,” I sigh, not wanting her to feel
guilt over the past three weeks.
“No, just…listen, ok?” I nod and she takes a deep breath before slowly letting it out. “Every time I’ve seen you since being home, I’ve done nothing but push you away. You scare me, Rivers. You hold the power to destroy me and you very well nearly did. I’ve been terrified of letting you back in knowing that if you were to leave again, I…I wouldn’t be able to make it. Not again.” Tears start filling her eyes and I’m wiping them away before they even have the chance to fall. “I’ve kept you at arm's length, but every time you come near me, it’s even harder to keep you away. You make me feel things that no other man has ever made me feel. Over the past few years, I’ve felt weak because I haven’t been able to move on from the one guy who broke me. I’ve felt like a fraud allowing Spencer to get so close, and I’ve felt like a liar telling everyone that I’ve been fine when in reality, I’ve been anything but.”
I pull her in closer and wrap my arms around her. “I never intended to hurt you.”
“It’s taken me until the other night to truly understand that,” she tells me. “When you told me about your life with your father, I realized how selfish I’d been begging you to tell me all those years. I should have just let you go.”
“No, you shouldn’t. You cared enough to want to know the real me. No one else has ever cared like that and I was wrong. I should have opened up to you while I had the chance, but I was scared that you weren’t going to love me when you realize what I’d done.”
“How could I have not loved you?” she cries as her eyes fill with love. “You’re everything to me. You always have been. You’re the strongest man I know and for the first time in four years, I feel alive. I’m done holding back, Rivers. I want you back in my life. I miss you every fucking day, I just don’t know how to do it without keeping myself guarded. I want to trust you and I don’t want to be scared that one day you’re just going to take off, but I can’t. It’s always in the back of my head and I don’t know how to get past that.”
Unstoppable: Haven Falls (Book 7) Page 15