“Yes. That sounds nice.”
His smile grows from ear to ear. “Yeah? Great! I’ll plan everything – you won’t have to do anything, except show up.”
“Alright. I’m looking forward to it.” My comment seems to make him even happier.
“We should probably go. I think the bell is about to…” and then the bell rings.
Just like yesterday, Andrew walks me to each of my classes, only today, he must have thought we’d taken a step in our relationship. He keeps touching me in small ways every chance he gets. A hand on the small of my back, fingers brushing mine in the hall, standing closer than he needs to. I have to admit, it feels nice getting this kind of attention.
When we get to biology, Andrew makes sure to show more affection than necessary in front of Alex. He leans into me as I stand against the classroom doorframe, then brushes his lips against my cheek while whispering in my ear. “I have to leave early today, but I wanted to ask you if I can pick you up for school tomorrow morning?”
“That would be nice.”
“See you later.” He turns to go, but not before giving me a huge smile.
I float into class and take my seat, placing my books on the table.
I can feel the tension coming off Alex. He looks as if he wants to say something about Andrew, but instead, he goes with, “I made recipes out of the plants we picked yesterday. I thought you could make some too and we could pick the one we liked the most for extra credit.”
“That sounds fun.”
My emotions are exuberant, devastating, and terrifying, all at the same time, which makes me feel so guilty. I feel like I’m starting to slowly move on without Jace.
The conflict raging within me dances across my face, showing for only a fraction of a second, but long enough for Alex to catch it. He gives me a look, as if he knows exactly what I’m feeling. I hate that he can seem to read me from only a glimpse.
“Are we still on for tonight?” I ask him, trying to sound casual.
His gaze travels over me, before finally resting on my eyes. “Yeah, I can pick you up at…” I cut him off before he can offer.
“No!” I say too loudly. I clear my throat and say again. “No. I’ll come to your house and call you when I’m outside. You can walk me in.” I secretly love the idea of him coming out to walk me into his home.
His eyes are suspicious, but he doesn’t ask questions. “Eight o’clock good for you?”
“Eight sounds good.”
He nods, then begins to read the pages assigned in class. Concentrating is like holding marbles in your splayed fingers… not possible. Usually, the teacher has us work as partners, but today she has us reading for the entire period. I don’t want to talk to him, but yet, I really do. It’s driving me crazy feeling this way.
After the bell rings, I collect my things while Alex follows close behind me. I step into the hall and turn left, but just before I can walk away, Alex grazes his fingers over my upper arm, drawing my attention to him.
“See you later tonight.” He says with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he looks as if he’s anticipating it.
“I’ll call you.” I tell him.
His fingers slide away just as smoothly as they found me, then he heads in the opposite direction. I actually have to catch my breath for a minute before turning and walking away. I want to arrive home early, spend some quality time with my dad, and finish my homework before heading to Alex’s.
Once I arrive home, I find Dad doing physical therapy. The therapy is more to keep his muscles loose, since he’s not able to move. I tell him I that I’ll return in a little while.
After going back to spend some time with Dad, the rest of the evening goes by in a blur.
With my homework finished, I find myself looking for an outfit to wear. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. I enjoy spending time with Alex, even though I shouldn’t. He’s the only one I feel comfortable with. Our pasts are intertwined, no matter how much we have changed. Sometimes, it feels more like he is something that I need in my life –a link to my past that I should stop seeing as a bad memory. I’m just so tired of feeling alone all the time.
The doorbell rings, bringing my thoughts back to reality, and my heart falls to my stomach. “I told him not to come here.” I say aloud. This cannot be happening. I glance over at the clock, and it’s 7:20 pm.
I run down the stairs in my jeans, and the semi dressy shirt I decided to wear; nothing flashy. Why do I have to impress anyone? Besides, I’m only playing into what I know I shouldn’t do.
Pulling the door open, I find Andrew standing there, not Alex. Honestly, he’s the last person I expected to show up on my doorstep.
“Andrew,” shock shows clearly through my expression. “What are you doing here?” The question comes out sounding defensive.
“It’s nice to see you, too.” He remarks, but the smile on his face is genuine. “Your math book got mixed up with mine and I figured you might need it.”
“Thank you.”
I shift uncomfortably, giving him a look that asks, ‘Is that everything?’
“Yeah, so… that’s all. I’ll see you to…”
Then she steps out.
“Jasmine, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” My mom’s words slur together, making it plain as day that she’s plastered.
I cringe inwardly, knowing that if I refuse, she will only make this situation worse. “Mom, this is Andrew. We have a few classes together and he was bringing me my math book. Andrew, this is my mother, Margret.”
“Nice to meet you.” Andrew steps closer to the entryway to shake her hand. She surprises me when she has one to spare that’s not gripping a bottle of alcohol.
“It’s lovely to meet you.” Is she flirting? Oh. My. God. She’s flirting. “Leaving so soon?” Her voice strives to reach that singsong quality that girls use when talking to guys they’re crushing on, only hers is totally not working for her. The R’s, and S’s are unrecognizable, turning the sentence into one long blur.
Andrew looks from her to me, then back to her before answering. “Yeah, I have to get back home for dinner.”
My face heats and is no doubt blazing red with embarrassment. The only people who have ever met my mom while she was plastered are Marisol and Alex, and they were our best friends for years, not someone I’ve only started speaking to.
He turns back to me. I expect to see pity or remorse, but see neither. My inside voice is setting off warning bells, asking if his lack of concern is a good thing, or a bad thing. Pity is something I can do without, that’s for sure; however, I couldn’t help but wonder how someone wouldn’t feel sorry for you after meeting a mother like mine.
“Thanks for the book. I’ll see you in the morning, right?” I remind him of his offer to give me a ride to school, while also trying to get him to leave.
“Yes, you will. See you tomorrow.” He takes a few steps before turning back with a little wave. “Oh, and have fun studying with Alex tonight.”
All of my muscles freeze, and I stop breathing… suffocating me instantly. My mom tenses beside me, electrifying the air around us. I watch as Andrew gets into his car and pulls away, oblivious to the hell he has sentenced me to.
As soon as his car is out of sight, I turn, ready for the onslaught. Her face is a mask of horror, pure hatred and rage, informing me of what I’d feared. One, she definitely holds no love for me. Two, she is absolutely, positively insane, and three… that I should not, in any way, have seen Alex again.
“I told you to stay away from him.” She screams. She stalks me, backing me into the house before slamming the door closed behind us, and cornering me against the foyer.
“I know, but…” I begin to say, but those three words are all I get out before she hits me. She half slaps, half punches me, using her palm with her fingers curled down, almost as if she’s serving a volleyball. My ear takes the impact and rings like the Liberty Bell.
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I stumble sideways, further down the hall while holding the side of my head, attempting to regain my balance. “Mom,” I protest in a whimper. “He’s my biology partner. We have an assignment so I have to work with him.”
She pauses, digesting the information. “So, when I asked you where you were yesterday, and you said collecting stuff for biology, you were with him, weren’t you?”
How the hell did she put that together? I thought it would be impossible for her. She could barely remember her own name, let alone what I said to her.
My silence gives her the answer she is looking for… the excuse she needs.
For being drunk and pilled out, her reflexes are fast. I didn’t even see her pick up the crystal vase and throw it at me until it was too late. It catches me on the side of my head, above my temple, and of course, on the same side as my now injured ear. I drop to the floor like a stone sinking in water, my hand moving to cover the new wound. Warm, wet liquid coats my hair and fingers.
“How dare you!” She screams down at me, kicking me in the side. “How could you see him? That family is solely responsible for killing your brother!” She pulls the belt off her pants and snaps it toward me – a whip striking like a snake. “You never loved him like I loved him! I haven’t forgotten about him like you have!” The belt makes contact with my back, buckle first.
I shriek in pain.
She is deaf to my cry, continuing the assault by repeatedly striking me with the belt, barely taking a breath to recharge and recoil for the next strike. I’m lucky, because sometimes it’s only the strap that makes contact.
“Mom, please.” I sob, blood and tears mixing, streaking my face.
She slows her rampage enough to stare down at me. Her chest is heaving, eyes wild. “Are you going to forget again?” Her voice is a soothing, mocking tone.
I shake my head.
“Answer me!” She screams.
“No, Mommy.” The word slips out before I can stop it.
“Don’t you ever call me that again. And if you ever see that boy again, I won’t only beat the living shit out of you, I will smother your pathetic crippled father while he sleeps.”
I suck in a shocked breath as my eyes widen in fear. I cannot believe what she has just said.
She laughs as she turns and walks away. “Remember what I said. There will be no other warning.”
She rounds the corner to the stairs, heading back to her room to leave me lying on the floor in my own blood, surrounded by broken glass. This is déjà vu, only this time I’m in the hallway instead of the kitchen.
After what feels like hours, waiting for the dizziness to stop, I try to get myself off the floor, bracing myself on a table to pull myself up. My ribs and back hurt like hell, every breath being taken away too fast by the next. The entire left side of my head and face feel numb, but I can feel the cut, not too big, but big enough to be a bleeder. You would think I fought in the UFC for a living.
I retrieve towels from the linen closet to clean up the blood and glass. My father’s nurse is out running errands for a few hours and I want to clean up the mess before she returns.
After everything is returned to its pristine grace, I practically crawl up the stairs, taking more time than I expected. Everything from my head, down to my torso and back hurt so badly. I feel dizzy and lightheaded as I finally make it to my room. I strip off my clothes and sit under the spray of a warm shower because I can’t stand up any longer.
The water runs reddish pink for a few minutes. I wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner, even though it stings like a son of a gun, but it’s the only way to get all the blood out. I sit under the stream until it runs cold and my fingers begin to prune. I dry my hair gently, and then the rest of my battered body with the same regard.
Two more days.
Two more days, then I can escape all of this, if only for a week. What else can I possibly do? I can’t turn her in to anyone, especially after what she threatened to do to my dad. I want to believe that she would never have the guts to go through with such a thing, but she is getting braver with her anger, and showing me what she is capable of. I see that as long as I do what she wants, she will stay clear of us. Besides, we have nowhere else to go.
I close my eyes and slowly lay back on my pillows after locking the door to my room. As I’m about to fall asleep, I bolt upright, causing a massive amount of pain.
Alex.
I was supposed to meet him at eight. It was almost half past seven when Andrew showed up.
I look over at the nightstand that holds my alarm clock… 12:47 am.
“Oh, no.” I glance around for my cell. What am I going to do, call him? What would I say, “Sorry I couldn’t make it, but my mom kicked my ass.” After this evenings death match, calling him should be a low priority. I see that I need to take her threat seriously; she’s crazier than I could have ever imagined.
I sit the phone down on my nightstand and breathe in deep. Instead of calling, I move to the mirror to inspect the damage.
Breathing deeply and building up enough courage to look takes me several minutes until finally, I’m ready. My eyes travel and study every inch of my skin, and what I see sickens me. Fading yellow and green bruises litter my body from the first incident, only now, they have darker friends to accompany them. Next to my ribs, fresh dark patches are beginning to blot my skin. My face appears untouched, unless inspected closely, then my bruised ear becomes noticeable. My hair hides the lump and gash on my head, thank goodness. I face my back towards the mirror, where most of the belt lashes pelted me. Red and black whip marks dance a fiery dance across my back, complimented by a few puncture wounds from the hook digging in on impact.
A sob escapes my lips as I sink to the floor in front of my mirror, unable to look at myself any longer. I want Jace here so badly my heart aches. He’d reassure me, defend me. If he were here, she would never have the balls to do this to me; he would never let her lay a finger on me. Jace being gone is the reason she’s losing her mind. I can’t understand why he was so special to her, granted he was special, but her love for him has always been extreme.
I begin to cry even more, until eventually, my tears dry up and I crawl into bed. I make sure to double check the lock on my door before closing my eyes. No way did I trust Margret enough to leave me alone at night.
It feels as if I just closed my eyes, and in no time at all, my alarm wakes me the next morning.
Reaching over to shut it off causes my entire body to scream in protest, tightening up as if it’s rebelling against itself. There’s no way I’ll be able to move around well enough to make my way through school, let alone have a new excuse for my pain. If I rest today, I’ll be ready for tomorrow… for Hawaii. I stop and realize that now, wearing a swimming suit is out of the question, or showing any kind of skin for that matter. These marks are not going away anytime soon.
I reach for my cell and punch in Andrew’s number. He answers after the third ring.
“Hey, Jasmine, I was just getting ready to head your way. What’s up?”
“I’m not going to make it to school today because I’m not feeling well. I wanted to call you before you made it all the way here.” Sounding sick was not an issue.
He’s quiet for a moment. “Are you alright? You seemed fine when I talked to you last night.” His words are accusatory.
“Yeah, I know. It’s weird. It just came on all of a sudden… I even had to cancel on Alex.” For some reason I feel compelled to tell him this.
“That’s alright, and I hope you feel better. You’re still coming on the trip, right?” He asks nervously, as if he just realized I may be too sick to go.
“Yes. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
I have to get away from here, even if I spend all of my time with Andrew, trying to ignore Alex. He’s going to want to know why I no showed on him, so at least this will provide me some cover until I can face him again.
“Great! You want me to pick you up. We ha
ve an assembly first thing in the morning, then we get on the shuttle bus to the airport. I think our flight leaves at one.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure your right. Hey, I’ve got to let you go.” I tell him, not wanting to discuss plane schedules.
“Oh, right. Sick. Sorry. Just a bit excited.” I laugh, well, try to is more like it.
“See you Friday morning then?” I confirm.
“Yep, I’ll be there at eight to pick you up.”
“Alright, see you then.” I hang up and drift back to sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
Alex
It took me half the day to figure out Jasmine missed school. I overheard Andrew, that asshole, tell some of his friends that she was sick. The stupid part of my brain is compelling me to ask her why she stood me up last night, but it would be only out of curiosity, not that I cared either way, of course.
Who am I kidding? I kept my phone with me last night every second waiting for it to ring. When midnight rolled around, I gave up, showered, and went to bed. I’ve been biting at the bit to find out why she didn’t even bother to call. Turns out, she may have a good reason for not showing, but she’s never been the type of person to leave you hanging, but what do I know these days.
Fuck! I’m sounding more like a chick every day. Get your shit together Navarro!
Lunchtime is as far as I make it before breaking down and calling her. Sitting sideways on my bike, I pull her number up and hit send. I blow out a deep breath, wondering why I’m so nervous to call someone I’ve been friends with almost my entire life.
On the fourth ring, she answers.
“Hello.” Her voice is groggy.
“Jasmine?”
“Yeah.” She sounds horrible, but not in the way I expect a sick person to sound… she sounds like she’s in pain, reminding me of how I sounded after I was jumped to get into the gang… She sounds like she got her ass kicked.
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