“Good. You want a bite?”
“No.” I wave him off.
“Come on, Jas. We used to share pizza all the time.” His smile is genuine, remembering sleepover’s we used to have together with our siblings.
I smile, recalling all the stupid things we used to do together. I decide to just give in, so I lean over and take a big bite of his pizza. My eyes roll back in my head and I moan with pleasure. “Dis is fooo good.” I say, sauce and cheese overflowing my mouth.
Alex laughs. “I told you.”
I chew and try to reel in my friendship mode with Alex. I can feel myself getting too comfortable with him, so I need to do something to stop this friendship from spiraling out of my control; the game of distance must rear its ugly head again. Even a small slip, like from Andrew’s big mouth, got to my mom’s ears, it could very well come from anyone.
The flight attendants voice snaps me back to the here and now. “We will be landing in about thirty minutes. Please make sure you are ready to take your seats and lock your seatbelts in place.”
I’ve already decided to start, and I’ve done a decent job at staying in my own thoughts and blocking Alex’s glances out. He’s turned to me a few times during the flight, lips posed as if to speak, then choosing not to, and going back to his own thoughts.
I continued to look out the window, as if I was oblivious to his attempts.
Stage one of distancing from Alex... Check.
Now all I have to do is try to avoid him the entire time we’re here. I can hang out with Andrew non-stop; we did already have a date planned for tomorrow night. If that went well, then we could easily hang out the rest of the week.
Yeah, that could work.
In reality, hanging out with Andrew non-stop is not my idea of a great vacation. In fact, I’m not even sure if I still want to go on a date with him, but at least it will give me a decent distraction from thinking about Alex.
Hopefully.
Chapter Eighteen
Alex
Jasmine remained quiet the entire trip. I’ve thought about talking to her a few times, but then decided that if she wanted to talk, she’d talk. The silence only contributes to my thoughts of her. I want to know who hurt her, and why? I want to know what the deal is with Andrew, and if I asked her out to dinner, what would she say?
That last thought throws me off. Dinner? I don’t take chicks, especially white chicks for that matter, out to dinner. I don’t think that way with Jasmine though. I would be worried about what people would think of us, her clean, creamy white skin, and me, with all my gang tattoos. They would probably think that I was forcing her to be with me.
The thought pisses me off. Why wouldn’t I be good enough for her? I used to be. I’m the same person I’ve always been on the inside. The thought drives me so insane, that I turn to her and blurt out, “You want to have dinner with me?”
I can tell I’ve caught her off guard when she stops breathing. Her body is tense when she looks at me. “I can’t.” She says, but the tone of her voice says differently.
“Why not?” I can’t help but dig myself in deeper.
She looks down in her lap for the answer. She refuses to meet my eyes when she finds her words. “Because, I’m going to hang out with Andrew tonight and tomorrow night.” Without her looking at me, it’s hard to decipher if her words are truthful.
“You’d rather hang out with that pendejo than me?” I’m offended.
Her face is straight when she finally looks up and says, “Yes, I would.”
She turns back around and continues looking out the window. What the fuck? She wants to hang out with him more than me? No one wants to hang out with anyone more than me, no female I know, anyway. We were getting along, and I thought we were feeling a little bit of the same thing, but it’s apparent that I was completely wrong.
I mumble a string of Spanish and English curse words under my breath, sit back, and wait to get off this fucking plane. She has pissed me off royally, wounding my pride. She wants to hang out with that douchebag, fine. She’ll not have to worry about me bothering her. I’ll do my own thing. We’ll see who comes running to who first, because it sure as hell won’t be me.
Our conversation ceases until we’re off the plane. “Have a good night.” I tell her and walk away before she can say anything that will make me forgive her.
She remains silent… saying nothing. She looks at me for a brief moment, then turns to get her luggage. She plays a good game, pushing people away when she realizes their getting too close. I recognize it, because my game is identical. She’s beginning to see the smiles she gives me, the real laughs, the friendship, and it scares the shit out of her. I know, because I feel the exact same way.
When I’m away from her, I want to be near her, but when I’m close to her, she makes me feel again, which freaks me out. I want to push her away; convince myself that I’m fine without her, even though she’s the only thing I can think about every second of every day… it’s messed up. I make a mental note to get the boys together tonight and cause some trouble.
We check into the hotel, which is the nicest place I have ever stayed, hands down. The entire building is white. Inside, every surface is made of marble, and is all white. The carpet has some retro, red, black, and white swirling pattern, which is almost enough to make you dizzy, or feel like you’re having a seizure.
I wonder which one of my members I will be rooming with; I couldn’t imagine they would put me with anyone else. A room card for 319 is in my hand and I head in that direction, following the golden plaques on the walls. Room 310, 317, here it is, 319. I slide my card in the slot, hearing the electronic release when it pops the lock open for me. I turn the handle and walk in.
I hear someone in the bathroom as I pass by. Whoever my new roommate is, is obviously not from my side of town, let alone in my gang. His preppy luggage is already spread across the bed next to the window. I already gave up my window view once today, I am not doing it again.
The room is average size. The TV is mounted to the wall, the DVD player and PS3 are on a small stand below. This looks like it could be a blast, even though I couldn’t imagine being in my room much. The carpet is a solid red, accentuating the black curtains and bedspreads. A mini fridge sits snuggled in the far corner, next to the big windows.
I toss all of preppy boy’s mierda onto the other bed and start to unpack my own stuff, placing things in the drawers next to my bed. I hear the door to the bathroom click open.
I turn to see who I’m going to push around for the next week, and when I see Andrew’s face, I smile. He’s the first person I want to mess with this week. By the look on his face, he wouldn’t mind me starting something with him, either. In fact, he looks like he may start it first.
“Why’d you move my shit?” He walks over to his stuff, doing a visual to make sure none of his high priced crap is missing. As if I’d want any of his garbage.
“I like the view.” I point to the ocean and beach.
Andrew stares me down, not blinking once. Instead of fighting, he turns and begins to change his clothes. I’m shocked. I thought it was going to go down and I’m a little disappointed that he decided against it.
After the rest of my stuff is unpacked, I glance over at Andrew. He catches me watching him and he can’t help but comment.
“See something you like?” He smirks at me.
“You wish.” I shove my bag in the bottom drawer.
“I’m going out to dinner with Jasmine.” He’s fixing his shirt in the mirror, watching for my reaction.
Keeping my face blank and unreadable, I play off his words. “Where are you two heading?” I’m curious, because seeing them together would unhinge me, sending me into a downward spiral that would inevitably end with me standing over Andrew’s bloody, unrecognizable face if I see him lay one little finger on her.
‘I think I may be losing it.’
“Some restaurant downtown. I guess they have authentic Hawaiian f
ood.”
“We’re in Hawaii, it’s all authentic, baboso.” He looks at me puzzled, not realizing I called him a dumbass.
“Whatever. I have to meet Jasmine… and stay out of my shit, Navarro.” He points his finger at me.
I pretend to shake in my boots to piss him off. “I don’t want any of your shit, white boy.” I flop on my bed and flick on the TV.
He stares at me for a moment before walking out the door. I can’t believe Jasmine wants to hang out with that idiot. It surprises me he’s made it to his senior year. His parents probably paid for his grades.
I’m about twenty minutes into wondering what Jasmine and Wonder Boy are doing when someone bangs on my door, like they’re the damn police. I jump up and pull the door open to find a few members of my gang.
“Que pasa, jefe?” Carlos asks.
“Nada, y tu?” I let them in.
“We’re going down to the beach to check out the babes. You want to come?” Carlos leans against the wall next to the bathroom.
“Do you even need to ask if I want to check out some fine mamacitas?” I click the TV off and change my shirt in a flash. I’ll do anything, as long as it gets my mind off Jasmine and her wonderful date. Occupying myself by hooking up with some hot tail here is just the kind of medicine I need. The last time I had sex was about a month ago… I could use the distraction.
Chapter Nineteen
Jasmine
My roommate is a nightmare. Molly Masters. She is one of the most popular girls in school and someone who NEVER shuts up about herself. I had to hear about every outfit she brought, why she brought them, and all the occasions she may have to wear them. The most annoying part is that she cannot stand me. She was jealous of me when my brother was alive, like we were dating or something. No doubt, she blames me for Jace not giving her a second look, as if I controlled his choices in girls.
I actually heard her talking about me on the phone while I was in the bathroom, telling her friends she was roommates with, “Jace’s creepy sister.” What the hell was creepy about me? I mean, sure my conversational skills were extremely rusty, but I wouldn’t consider myself rude or weird because of it.
I am so relieved when Andrew shows up at my door to take me to a casual dinner down the road. I know we have a date tomorrow, but I had to come up with something to ward off Alex. I mean, I did have to eat, right? Besides, I knew Andrew wouldn’t say no.
“I am so glad you came early.” I say after leaving the hotel.
Andrew’s smile grows. “Yeah?” He thinks it’s because I couldn’t wait to see him, when in reality, it’s because I couldn’t stand one more second with Molly.
Instead of bursting his bubble, I let him think what he wants. “This is such a beautiful place.” Looking around, I take in the sights. We’re on the block closest to the beach, the sand is white, and the sun is setting. All the colors of a bright rainbow fill the sky; the smell is simply delicious, a warm breeze mixing with the oceans salt, caressing my skin and hair… Paradise. This is what they put on the cover of post cards.
I’m so engrossed in the brilliant sky and how it reflects off the ocean’s surface like a carbon copy that when Andrew slips his hand into mine, it is the first time I notice him watching me. I look down at our fingers entwined together, and then up at him. His eyes bore into mine, as if he’s trying to feel something. It’s almost uncomfortable, but pulling away at this point for me is not an option. It’s easier to forget about Alex if I have a distraction, and Andrew is a good distraction.
I smile at him instead. I can try to make myself like Andrew more. It’s not as if he’s bad looking, quite the contrary, he’s great looking, but I’ve been feeling off with him lately, and having trouble putting my finger on the reason why. Before I put any more thought into my psycho paranoia, I see the restaurant we’re looking for, The Bali Bistro. It’s one of those restaurants that provide a variety of food, from pasta to burgers. The woman at the front desk said it even made the cover of Bon Appetite.
Money’s not a problem; the school gave each student a ten-dollar breakfast and a fifteen-dollar lunch and dinner allowance. We are to charge everything to the schools hotel, which is pretty awesome. Everyone on the island seems to know where we’re from and what items we can charge to the room. Other than that, I brought money I’ve been saving to buy mementos. I thought I would buy a souvenir for Dad and Grandma… I think they’d like that.
A heavyset Hawaiian woman leads us to our seats. It surprises me that she is able to make it through the aisle. Of course, that’s what I think, but I would never say anything to her. I’m sure she works just as hard, probably harder at her job than most people.
That’s why I’m stunned when Andrew says, loud enough for her to hear, “At least being here in Hawaii, she has a reason to wear a muumuu year round.” he sounds like an idiot when he laughs, all high pitched and girly.
After we sit down, I give the large woman an apologetic smile, and scold Andrew. “I can’t believe you just said that.” The words leave my lips in a growl, chastising him for his comment.
How embarrassing. I hate people like him who put themselves above everyone else. I am beginning to see that about him, the way he looks at Alex and his friends, as if he is so above them, like they are nothing more than scum to him.
“Oh, chill out Jazzy.”
My face falls flat. Number one, who the hell is he to tell me to chill out? Two, he used my nickname. He doesn’t know me well enough to call me by a family nickname. He obviously reads the look on my face and understands.
“Sorry. Don’t want me to call you that?” He asks. A new Andrew is exposing himself to me and I’m not sure how I feel about him.
“No. Jace used to call me that all the time.” He nods. “Sorry. Don’t mean to be a downer.” I try to joke, hoping he would say something like, ‘Oh, don’t worry. No problem.’
That never happens.
“So, what do you feel like eating?” The mask slides back in place. Just like that, he turns back into the caring person who met me at my car on the first day of school.
I’m still using him as a distraction, so I really could care less who he really is at this point, or why he’s an asshole. I only care that he’s a cute asshole and he keeps my thoughts off… the other one. If Andrew would keep mom happy and my dad safe, I would date him. It was only a year of my life, and then I could move out and take dad with me, leaving her to fend for herself. Maybe then, I could be with… I don’t dare finish that sentence.
“I think I’m going to go with the spaghetti and meatballs, Hawaiian style. It says it has pineapple in it.” I point to the picture and show it to him, even though he’s not paying any attention to me.
“I’m going to have the prime rib.” He puts his menu down and looks around the restaurant, plainly checking out women right in front of me.
“Have you gotten all the plans worked out for tomorrow?” I ask.
His eyes find mine, remembering that he is, in fact here with someone, so he flips his switch and turns on the charm. “I have everything set. Are you ready for a night you’ll never forget?” He slides his hand across the table and takes mine.
For just a moment, I want to believe this is real, that what he’s doing is not just to get into my pants, but that he’s doing it because he really does like me. Unfortunately, the more time I spend with him, the more I see he’s only after the new girl in school, even though I’m not new. ‘Idiot!’
“Yes, I am.” I turn on the charm, leaning into him.
He’s eating up my flirtations. By the end of the night, I’m not sure who’s more into who. I’m having a hard time understanding why I’m even acting like this, as if I want to take him to my room and have my way with him. I’m positive I wouldn’t go through with it, there is no way in the world I am losing my virginity to Andrew Parker. That does not stop me, however, from acting like I want to ravish him.
After we’ve eaten, we decide to walk down to the beach and
check out the water. I’m trying to be into the date, but every now and then, my mind still wanders to Alex. I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing, or where he’s hanging out.
A small smile creeps across my lips as I think about him. His dark chocolate eyes, framed by long, soft lashes. His hair that used to be kept army short, has grown out into ear length curls that he keeps tucked under his gang’s green and black bandana when he’s not at school. The tall stick figure he used to be, turned into the toned body of a god. His tattoos only add to his new badassness that I have to admit, are a huge turn on.
Interpreting my smile wrong, Andrew steps in front of me, “What are you thinking about?” He pulls me into his arms, mine stay at my sides at first. His fingers are brushing the wounds on my back, causing me to flinch. I’m relieved my face is hidden at this angle.
Determined to keep up the charade, I lace my fingers behind his neck. “How nice of a time I had tonight.” I rise up on my toes.
He leans down, and I can feel the heat off his lips. “Wait until tomorrow.” He whispers, and then presses his lips to mine.
They’re rough, not smooth and soft like the lips I want to be kissing. His tongue sneaks out and wets my top lip. I’m hesitant at first, then do my chant, distraction, distraction, distraction, repeatedly in my head. My tongue slides against his, as a low moan escapes him.
He squeezes me tighter, sending my pain sensors are in overdrive. I’m almost relieved when one of his hands slide down my spine to the curve of my lower back, and then over my butt, cupping it, using it to hold me to him. He presses himself against me, and already I can feel him through his pants. I pull his mouth closer as his hand holding my butt ventures back up my body, following my ribs, and cupping the outside of my breast. Pinching pain shoots through my body every time his fingers hit an injury because he’s not being the least bit gentle.
His breathing is getting heavier and his hands more frantic. He leans me back, lays me down softly and leans over me, pressing me into the sand. Surprisingly, the sand is soft against my back. His hands are still travelling, trying to find bare skin. First at my navel, his fingers trace across my stomach, then moves up to rub the curve of my breast before tucking his fingers under my bra, and filling his hand.
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