I pull the dress on and do my makeup. Looking in the full-length mirror along the wall, I study myself.
The white is so pure it makes my skin glow, and my bright blue-green eyes seem gigantic. I double check to make sure none of my buckle wounds are showing, and they’re not. The ones closer to my shoulders have healed and dried up from the oceans salt water. Gross, I know. The only ones that are left are the ones in the center of my back, next to my spine, and they are staying covered without a problem.
It’s seven at night, so the sun’s still up but on its way down for the night. The weather is still warm and comfortable outside. I make a plan before leaving the room, so there is no time for a pity-party. First, I need to find a place to eat, already planning to follow the boardwalk until I find something. Second, I want to walk the beach one more time at night before leaving. The smell at night seems stronger for some reason; it relaxes me, and makes me feel at peace.
I leave the room, hating that my mind is still on Alex. He ruined my one night, by not only acting as if nothing happened, but also leaving and avoiding me the entire day after.
I meander my way out into the night air; it caresses me, refreshing me instantly. The smell of the salt water floating through my sinuses makes me smile, something I wasn’t sure I was capable of accomplishing today.
I head in the direction of the boardwalk, wading through chairs and tables set out by the pool, and I notice Carlos sitting by the pool. At the sight of him, my heart skips and speeds like a train. If he’s here, Alex must not be far away. I’m not sure if I’m ready to face to him yet.
Evidently, I don’t get the option, because he’s sitting a few chairs over… talking to a brown haired girl. She’s leaning into him, flirting, acting like a couple, touching his hand and leg when she talks.
My temper flares. She’s touching what belongs to me. Well, what I thought belonged to me. My heart swells and tears threaten fall, but I breathe in deep and force myself to keep moving away from him.
I finally find peace about a half mile later. It seems the further away from him I get, the more my sanity returns. I try to regain some self-control and cherish what little time I have left here; Taking in the sights and breathing in the clean air. As much as I enjoy being alone, it’s times like these that I wish I had more friends, people to share this with. If Jace and Marisol were still here, they would have loved everything about Hawaii.
I stroke the tips of my fingers over Jace’s glass pendent, stopping to look out over the ocean at the setting sun. The bright reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows swirl in the sky. “I wish you were here with me.” I tell him, meaning every word.
At this moment, I am utterly alone. I have no one. Sure, I have Dad and Grandma, and I love them, but I have no one just for me. Suddenly, I’m not as hungry as I once was, my appetite gone.
Deciding to take my walk early, I head down the boardwalk, enjoying the setting sun. This is much better than some little restaurant. Food would taste like cardboard right about now, anyway. Getting an itch, I decide to take my sandals off and walk out next to the waves.
The water flows over my toes, warm like a bath. I drift down the beach for a couple of hours, when I spy a couple surfers in the waves. My mind replays surfing with Alex.
I’m not paying much attention to the people that wander out of the water and onto the beach, at least not until one of them calls my name.
“Jasmine, right?” The Hawaiian accent catches my attention.
“Hi.” I say to Guy, my surf instructor as he approaches. A smile finds my lips easily. I had a blast learning to surf, and did fairly well for my first time, if I do say so myself. “Was that you out there surfing?” Duh, Jasmine. I do a mental face palm.
“Yeah, catching a few waves before dark. What are you doing out here by yourself?” He asks, as he comes closer. His skin is glistening in the remaining sun, ocean water trickling over every surface. His muscles move with every stride, and his surfboard is tucked under his arm; he’s also wearing a big, warm grin.
“I’m just out for a walk. It’s our last night here, so I refuse to sit inside and waste it.” I pause for a second. “So, how are the waves tonight?” What? Now you think you’re a professional surfer.
“They’re a little flat, but it’s always nice to sit out on the ocean. Where’s your friend?”
Friend? It was pretty obvious that Alex and I were more than just friends. Guy is hitting on me, I realize. Let the games begin. If Alex wants to play, I can find a way to have a good time too. I would actually appreciate the company to help me pass my last night here. At least tomorrow, we can leave, and I will not be stuck on this damn Island with Alex any longer.
“He’s hanging out with his friends tonight. I felt like a walk, so here I am.” I lift my hands up to shoulder height and shrug.
“Cool. I’m done here, so can I dry off and walk you home?” Guy is nice; he’s not expecting anything to happen.
“Please. That would be nice. I could use a little company right about now.” I only now realize that we are on the beach in front of the surf shop.
He trots over to the door, puts his board inside and grabs a towel. He dries his hair and body, then tosses a tank top on and runs back over to me.
“You ready?” He closes most of the distance between us, leaving only a foot of space.
“Yes. Thank you for the offer to walk with me.” I say, as we begin to walk back toward the hotel.
The conversation between Guy and I is never lagging. Turns out, he is also a high school senior, working at the surf shop for extra cash. We talked about our schools and how they differ from one another; surprisingly, they have similar curriculums.
Once we reach the hotel, we have to walk around the bar by the pool to get to the lobby. The place is unexpectedly packed for a hotel poolside bar, I notice as I scan the area, and that’s when I see him. The same dark haired girl leaning back against a pillar, Alex’s hand placed next to the side of her head, leaning toward her.
He sees me at the same moment I see him, and I want to vomit as I watch him hang all over her like that. Our eyes hold for longer than I wish they would. I would say the heaving in my chest had stopped the beating of my heart, but clearly, I’m still alive.
Surprising myself, I break contact and walk toward the lobby, not missing a beat. Guy’s hand lands gently on my lower back to guide me through some of the tables.
Alex is the first one to look away, only to lean into the dark haired girl and kiss her full on the lips.
I’m thankful I can tear my gaze away without any real emotion playing on my face, even though my insides are barely alive with the beating they’d just received.
Once we reach the elevators, I turn to thank Guy for walking me home.
“Thank you, Guy. It was really nice to have met you, and thank you so much for the awesome surf lessons. It will be one of my best memories here.” I try to put on the smile he deserves, but it’s definitely forced.
“You’re more than welcome.” He steps into me and for a moment, I think he might kiss me, but he only grabs my hand and kisses the top of it. “Thank you, for letting me walk you home.”
He makes me blush. “Good night.” I tell him and step into the elevator.
Chapter Forty-Four
Alex
The afternoon began with a swim with Brandy, Carlos, and his girl Lacey. Then we walked around the beach and now we’re drinking at the bar next to our hotel. I’m trying not to think about Jasmine and failing miserably. I try using Brandy, kissing her, playing with her body just to distract me, but nothing is working; her angles are all wrong, her curves are off, and the taste of her lips… dull.
I’m tingling and warm from the booze we’ve been drinking for the last couple of hours. One of my guys was able to get us an in with the bartender. Beer is a good tool for helping forget that Brandy is not who I really want to be with.
Placing my hand on the pillar next to her head, I lean into her, trying to wi
pe away the pictures that keep flashing behind my closed lids every time I blink. Jasmine smiling at me, Jasmine laying under me, Jasmine telling me she loves me. Stop!
When I open my eyes, gravity pulls them to the left. The one and only thing they focus on is my angel, as if my thoughts conjured her up. She is dressed all in white, her halter dress showing off her perky breasts and smooth curves, that, at this moment, I would die to get my hands on again.
Then I see a familiar face next to her, Guy, our surfing instructor. That motherfucker. I knew he wanted her. She meets my eyes and they’re calm, showing no emotion. I’m looking at her, trying to figure out if she doesn’t really care, or if she has her game face on.
Guy places his hand at the small of her back, splaying his fingers to get a better feel. I’m about to leave Brandy to kick Guy’s ass, when I realize I have no claim to her. I left her.
By some miracle, I stay grounded. Why would she bring him back here? Is she trying to get back at me? Or worse, did she bring him back here for something else? Would she be with someone else so soon? As much as I want to go to her, make all of this disappear and tell her I made a horrible mistake, I know the next move is to up the ante. I turn back, lean in without thinking, and kiss Brandy. My heart is breaking with each movement of my lips.
By the time I look back to where she was standing, she is no longer there, having walked off to our room with Guy. The only thing that keeps me planted is Brandy’s voice.
“You want to take this party to my room?” She pulls my hand, walking me in the direction of her room.
Silence is my answer, because if I mutter a word, the word would be no.
She walks us down the first floor hallway, to the room that reads 127.
She inserts the key card and the door clicks the lock aside to let us enter.
“Here we are.” She sings.
I walk in with my ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude. Right away, it’s obvious that Brandy wants to get down. By the time I reach the bed and turn around to find out where she is, half of her clothes are already off; shirt and skirt hit the floor with soft a poof on the shitty carpet. She’s standing across from me in a silk blue bra and panty set. Usually, I would be sporting an empalme but I’m not. She does nothing for me.
She saunters over to me with certainty. She’s not turned down often, if at all; it’s plain to see in her confident strut. She’s not Jasmine. My heart begins to constrict in my chest, and my breathing becomes ragged. Brandy reads my reaction wrong, thinking that she is causing my response. I try talking myself into her, thinking it would be a good way to get Jasmine out of my system, but when I think about dirtying up our beautiful night together, I would rather die. Nothing could top what she shared with me.
I close my eyes tight, pretending the alcohol is overwhelming me. Brandy chooses not to notice, or care, because she only has one thing on her mind; getting me undressed and in bed with her.
You would think that bringing Brandy to bed and taking her isn’t that difficult. The old Navarro would have had her undressed and having his way with her before we even finished walking through the door. But Jasmine has ruined all that for me. There is no other female who could stand before her in my eyes
“Fuck.” I murmur under my breath. My conscious is battling itself.
Again, Brandy reads me wrong, something Jasmine never does. She knows me inside and out, almost better than I know myself. I’m still lost in my thoughts when Brady reaches the bed, knocking me back, and straddling me.
“You see something you like?” She asks.
Her words freeze me. They are the same words Jasmine asked last night. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
“Brandy…” I begin, “I can’t do this.” I tell her.
I push her to the side, onto the bed, and toss her clothes to her. She covers herself protectively, as if I’m going to take advantage of her. I shake my head and make a dash for the door.
She stays quiet as I open the door to leave. I’m grateful. When I’m in the hallway, I realize I have no idea where I’m going. Just because I couldn’t actually follow through with Brandy, doesn’t mean I can go back to my room. Jasmine’s still there… and possibly not alone. It’s better for us to have this between us. She’s seen me with Brandy, and if I neglect to come back to the room tonight, she will think that I stayed with her, and that’s a better plan; one that will push her further away from me.
I head to Carlos’s room instead.
He lets me in after the third knock. He has kicked his roommate out for the evening and looks like he has already taken care of business, since Lacey, the girl he was messing with earlier, is dressing in the background and getting ready to leave.
“Sorry, man. Didn’t realize you had company.” I tell him, as I head toward the TV. Nothing like a little brain rot to make you forget your worries.
“No es ningun problema. I figured you would be stopping by sometime tonight.” Carlos walks the girl to the door, whispering his sweet nothings to her, and lets her out into the night. When he turns back to me, he asks, “You close the deal with Brandy?” He has a knowing smirk on his face. He already knows the answer, but he’s being a dick and asking anyway.
“No.” I answer, and flop on the bed, pulling the crook of my elbow over my eyes.
“She’s really messed you up, huh?” He asks. If it was anyone else, my fist would be in their face, but this is Carlos, he knows me.
I groan in response, and he chuckles under his breath.
“Alright man, when you’re ready.” He clicks the light out. “I’m going to bed. You’re welcome to stay.” He finishes as he climbs into his bed.
“Thanks.” I say, even though I don’t need his permission. I’m the leader. But then, Carlos and I have a different relationship than the rest of my gang; he’s as close to blood as you get.
Chapter Forty-Five
Jasmine
I can, with one hundred percent certainty, say that my last night in Hawaii totally sucked. The walk on the beach in the setting sun was the best part, but coming home to see Alex’s new mating style in motion was not what I wanted to witness. I stayed up most of the night, not wanting to see him, but hoping he would come back at the same time.
He never did.
Check out time is at one. We are supposed to have everything packed and down to the lobby before the shuttles to the airport arrive. Lucky for me, I still have my assigned seating next to Alex on the way home. I wanted to avoid speaking to him, or even looking at him. I just want to ignore him until we are home and away from each other.
I fold all of my laundry and place it neatly into my suitcase, then I place the sundress in a plastic bag and toss it on top of the clean clothes. I decided to wear a soft and silky, blue sundress, the perfect outfit to leave Hawaii in. I gather the rest of my things slowly, not yet ready to return to reality. Sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at the lilies Alex bought for me only days ago, I begin to polish Jace’s pendent with my thumb.
When I return home, things are going back to the way they were before I left. My dad a vegetable, my grandma in a home forty minutes away from me, and Mommy dearest, still one crazy bitch, one that I would love not to deal with again.
A single tear silently rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away with the back of my hand, allowing myself one small weakness before having to pull my armor back into place. This is the only way I can survive living with Margret. I have to admit, I’m scared to return home. Either she won’t care that I’ve been gone and go on about her drunken self as usual, or she will have stored up all her pent up frustrations waiting for me to return. What a nice homecoming.
I check the bedside table clock, and see that putting off leaving is no longer an option. I need to meet the rest of my class down in the lobby. I breath out loudly, blowing a couple of stray hairs out of my face and grab my luggage. I figure Alex will show up at some point, considering his luggage is still in the room.
I’m about to close the do
or behind me and decide to take one last look to keep the sacred memories fresh. Even though things ended this way between Alex and me, I still loved them while they lasted. A part of me knew it would end this way. We don’t understand how to love people, to trust people anymore, so it was inevitable. The last thing I take in is the smell and beauty of the lilies left on the bedside table. I’m leaving all of those perfect memories in this room; nothing can come back with me… It ends here.
I opt to take the stairs, not wanting to run into anyone in the elevator. My bag turns sideways and can move on rollers, making it a lot easier to maneuver. I take my time, walking down each step slowly; putting off the ride home, just as much as much as I’m looking forward to it. Finally reaching the bottom, I slam against the exit door that leads into the lobby. One step outside the lobby door and I am knocked over, tossing my small handbag across the aisle way.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” A very familiar male voice says, while reaching over and handing me my handbag.
I’m reluctant to move at first, but then when nothing else matters anymore, it’s really not a big deal. I regain my balance and take the bag from his outstretched hand.
“Thanks, Andrew.”
After he hands me my bag, his hand immediately moves to the back of his neck, where he begins to rub anxiously. “Hey, Jasmine…” He wants to say more, but looks startled.
“Yeah?” I’m a bit impatient. I just want to get the hell out of here and off this stupid island!
“I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did the other night, and I know that Alex had every right to punch me.” He laughs, which causes me laugh, looking at his still discolored face, which seems to have more marks than before.
“Yeah, you did kind of deserve it.”
He smiles again, “I know.”
“Thank you, Andrew.”
He nods and turns to walk in the direction of our gathered classmates. Alex is easy to spot. He’s staring directly at Andrew with a very pissed off look on his face. Just to piss him off that extra little bit, I reach out and touch Andrew’s arm.
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