by Avery James
Before she could process the question, Amy heard Ethan say, "We've talked about it." She turned to look at him. Suddenly, his face didn’t seem quite so tan, and his smooth features seemed to show a man who was free of cares. She wondered what Ethan would look like at seventy. Would his face show the character of his years? Would she even know him then, or would they part ways as soon as this deal was done? She felt a rush of an unidentified emotion as she thought it through. It wasn’t love, and it wasn’t sadness that she felt; it was something else, an almost wistful hope that somehow she could find the satisfaction in life that Hank seemed to have. She wondered if she’d ever find that with someone like Ethan.
Then she realized Ethan and Hank were waiting for some kind of response from her. “I had never given it much thought,” she said. “I had always promised myself that I wouldn’t have kids unless I knew I could give them the time and attention they deserved. Call me a cynic, but until things got serious with Ethan, I didn’t know if I’d ever meet a man I’d want to have kids with. I’ve just seen too many broken marriages and parents who would rather stare at a spreadsheet than spend time with their kids.”
"I see," Hank said.
Amy realized that she might have said something wrong, but at the same time, she knew that most of what she had said was true. Working with powerful men had shown her what terrible fathers they tended to be. From the little she had hear from Logan on the ride up to the house, and from the little she had learned from Hank, she thought that Hank was one of the good ones, one of the exceptions that proved the rule. She wondered what kind of father Ethan would make. It seemed like an insane idea: Ethan Cole, a father. Then again, it was no stranger than Ethan Cole, husband.
After another silence, Ethan cleared his throat and said, “Now you can see why I just hope that they will take after their mother."
"I think you'll both do just fine." Hank took a deep breath as he turned to admire the view. "Just remember to appreciate the journey. And if you do have children, and you get to see them grow into adulthood, you’ll find that the things you admire most about them are the things you wouldn’t have anticipated at all. Someday, you might find yourself wondering how you can make them proud of you.”
“I’m sure you’ve never had that problem,” Ethan said.
“I like to think that Logan respects what I do, but I don’t really think that means he’s proud. My wife was proud of my private life, but I think my business she could have taken or left. She liked to think that I ran my business in a more responsible fashion than someone else would have. I’d like to make sure that that continues to be true as I hand it off.”
Amy gave Ethan a look. She didn't want to lie to Hank any more than she already had, and lying about wanting kids together just seemed terrible. She wanted to know why this particular lie felt so wrong. It couldn’t just be that she felt bad for misleading Hank. He was a rich man who wanted to believe certain things about another rich man. She was simply helping him make a good choice, but thinking about it made her feel terrible again.
“So your wife is the reason why you have preserved all of this land?"
"It's beautiful and deserves to remain unspoiled. This place was near to both our hearts when we decided to live here." As he spoke a gust rose up and swept a plume of snow across the horizon. It hung there in the late afternoon light. Amy wondered if it was a sign, and what it would mean if it was one.
"Still, sometimes you must wish that the two of you had chosen somewhere more… temperate," Amy said. As soon as she said it, she realized that it might sound like she didn’t appreciate what Hank had shared with her and Ethan. She had only been trying to joke around. She decided to wait to see what Hank said in response. Ethan, who was trailing slightly behind them as they talked, wisely remained silent.
After a long pause, a pause in which Amy felt the sheer vastness of her surroundings and their dead silence save for the cutting wind, Hank cleared his throat and spoke. "That's why we have the house in Newport, that and so we could get a taste of high society. You two should join me there this summer. When all of this business is over, I'm planning on spending several months there while I get my next venture off the ground."
"As long as I don't need snow pants, I'm in," Amy said.
Hank laughed as he turned around and made direct eye contact with Ethan. "I can see what you like about her. A sense of humor is one of the most important things you can have in a marriage."
Chapter 11
After they had gotten back to the room, Ethan stripped out of his clothes until he was in a t-shirt and underwear.
“What on earth are you doing?” Amy asked.
“I’m beat,” Ethan replied, “I’m going to take a long, hot shower.”
“We need to go over a few things before that,” Amy replied.
Ethan placed his hands on his head and let out a sigh. “Amy it can wait. The world will not end. Take a deep breath and enjoy the night.”
Amy crossed her arms and stared at him. She didn’t need to repeat herself.
Ethan shrugged. “How about we kill two birds with one stone.”
Amy squinted as she wondered what he was suggesting. She turned and looked toward the open door to the bathroom and raised an eyebrow.
Ethan smiled back waiting for her to respond in some way. He could see that light in her eyes as she started to get mad at him.
“If you think for one minute that I’m going to get in a shower with you.”
Ethan held out his hands and said, “Relax, there’s a hot tub out on our deck. I was suggesting we both go out there. We can unwind while we discuss whatever it is you’d like to discuss.”
Amy shook her head. “And I’m guessing you’ve packed a bathing suit for me.”
“Of course,” Ethan replied.
“I hope it’s something more appropriate than a G-string.”
“I think there’s a pack of floss in the suitcase somewhere. You could always…” Ethan stopped himself mid sentence. “The bathing suit is in the smaller suitcase.” He gave her a wink and added, “I picked it out myself. I promise it will look great on you. It’s a two-piece, but it’s nothing scandalous.”
“You and I have different definitions of scandalous.”
“I usually defer to your expertise on that subject. Luckily for you, I forgot to pack the whipped cream, rope and video camera.”
“Must be a first,” Amy replied.
“I can always make a run into town,” Ethan said as he pulled off his t-shirt. He tossed it onto the bed. Amy tried not to stare at him, but she couldn’t help herself.
Amy wondered, How could anyone who ran a multinational corporation have abs like that? Hell, how could anyone have abs like that?
Ethan turned and headed through the French doors toward the hot tub. “See you out there,” he said as he walked out into the darkness. As Amy looked out, she could barely see Ethan as he tossed his boxers back into the room. She raised her hand over her mouth in surprise. Was she really going to get into a hot tub with a very naked Ethan Cole? She turned toward the suitcase and decided to take a look at the bathing suit. It wouldn’t kill her to take a little risk and enjoy herself. Besides, Ethan’s teasing, flirtatious ways had been making her laugh all weekend. It’s not like he meant any of it, she tried to convince herself as she grabbed the bathing suit and headed into the bathroom to change.
As soon as she had slipped into the bathing suit, Amy looked at herself in the mirror. The bikini was more or less what Ethan had described. It definitely wasn’t conservative, but it showed off her figure, and she couldn’t help but wonder what Ethan had thought when he had bought it for her. Had he imagined what she would look like? Had he thought about tempting her to join him in the hot tub? Something about that little detail, the fact that he had personally picked it out, intrigued her. As she opened the bathroom door and headed toward the deck, she wasn’t sure what to think, but she was intrigued, and she wanted to see what Ethan would do next.
>
She grabbed two towels and wrapped them around herself as she walked out over the cold deck to the hot tub. Ethan was leaning back and had his eyes closed, but as she adjusted to the darkness, Amy could see the smile on his face as she approached. She shivered as she reached the hot tub and tossed the towels down as she slid herself in. The hot water emphasized the chill in the air, taking her breath away for a moment as she slid lower and let her body relax.
“Are you really naked?” Amy asked.
“Would you like to find out?” Ethan replied with a laugh. He was enjoying himself just a little too much. Without waiting for a response, he added, “Don’t worry: spare bathing suit. I just wanted to see how you’d react.”
“I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t try to reciprocate.”
“For you maybe. I think I would have enjoyed that.”
“I’m sure you would have.”
“Lean back and relax, Amy.”
Amy wanted to enjoy herself, but she felt like she and Ethan had to get on the same page before spending more time with Hank. She waited for Ethan to say something, but he didn’t “We need to work things out if you want to have any chance of this working,” Amy said. “I know a good deal about you. I have to. It’s my job to know. I know about your various affairs. I know where you live and how much you’re worth, but I still don’t know what your favorite food is or whether or not you watch sports.”
Ethan slid a little lower into the hot tub until the water was up to his chin. He kept his eyes closed as he started to speak. “You know, I don’t even know how you ended up in Washington.” He paused for a while and added, “I don’t even know where you grew up. I assume you went to prep school, some Ivy League feeder school in rural New England. I don’t know anything about your parents either.”
Amy bit her lip before answering. She almost always avoided talking about her past. As far as she knew, no one wanted to hear her story. She wondered if Ethan really wanted to know or if he was just pushing back to avoid answering more about himself. “My mother died when I was eight. I think you would have liked her. Her death nearly broke my father. He was a staffer for a congressman at the time. Over the next few years, he worked his way up to a senior position and moved us all to Washington when I was thirteen. By that time, the congressman had become a senator.”
“And that’s where your love of civic affairs came from?” Ethan shot Amy a glance to see if his joke had landed. It had not.
“My father devoted his life to that man. He believed in him. We all believed in him. It was our way of rationalizing why our dad had uprooted us from our lives and moved us to a city we didn’t know. It was our way of explaining to ourselves why our father spent nights and weekends at the office instead of with us. Callie was younger, so she doesn’t remember all of it as clearly, but I basically had to raise her myself. I think it’s why I’ve always been so protective of her.
“Anyway, back to the senator: when I was a senior in high school, he was up for reelection, and a former aid of his came forward and accused him of having an affair. My father swore up and down that it wasn’t true, that it was a dirty tactic used by the opponent, but it didn’t matter. When the election came, my father’s boss lost. My dad was out of a job. He never worked in politics again.”
“And that’s why you gravitated toward your current line of work?” Ethan asked. “Righting a wrong from your past?”
“No,” Amy replied, “I came to this line of work because I believed that the accusations were true. I figured the only thing I could count on was the tendency of men to lie and cheat and steal whenever given the chance. I’ve made my living off of the mistakes of men like that senator. Right and wrong has nothing to do with it.”
“I have a hard time believing that. I think you have a very fine-tuned sense of right and wrong. What about me?” Ethan asked.
“What about you?” Amy replied. “You’re probably the foremost example of my work.”
Ethan opened his eyes and shifted back up, resting his arms on the side of the hot tub. “Except you did the opposite for me. You helped me get in just enough trouble to be interesting to create buzz. How many men have you done that for?”
Amy looked off for a moment. She knew that Ethan must know the answer to that question. “Just you,” she said.
“Oh,” Ethan replied. “Well, I suppose I owe you a debt of thanks.”
“Like I said, it’s just business,” Amy said. “And right now, it would be good business for the two of us to know more about each other.”
“My grandmother raised me. My parents were young and dumb, and my father got my mother pregnant on her prom night. They weren’t even a couple. He was a friend of a friend or something like that, and my mother never told my father about me. Anyway, my mother had gotten into college, and she deferred the first year to give birth, but then she went, and left my grandmother to raise me. My mother hasn’t really been in my life. She got a job in California when she graduated from college. She ended up marrying her boss. They’ve got two kids and live on the coast. I don’t blame her for the way things happened, but I don’t exactly want her in my life either. I think she understands.”
“I didn’t know,” Amy replied. She felt bad for having teased him like that.
“I’ve done my best to hide that fact,” Ethan said. “Especially since it doesn’t fit the devil-may-care persona you and I created for tech wunderkind Ethan Cole. My grandmother was really the only family I had. She passed away four years ago. I took her death really hard. She meant everything to me. I think she’d have approved of you. She liked strong-minded women, and she didn’t approve much of the women I started dating on the ‘Haven Plan.’ She was about one of three people in the world who knew the real me.”
“And who are the other two?” Amy asked.
“You and me,” Ethan said. “Everyone else in the world has bought our little lie.”
“Which one?” Amy asked. Seeing as only a handful of people knew about their marriage, Amy knew which lie Ethan was talking about, but she liked the verbal back and forth a bit too much to let go at this point.
Ethan smirked and laughed. “That I am the biggest jackass in the world.”
“You know, when you’re not being a jackass, you’re really quite sweet,” Amy said. She smiled and reached forward, placing her hand on Ethan’s cheek.
“Now you just feel sorry for me,” Ethan said.
“Yeah, I have a lot of pity for the young and handsome billionaire,” Amy replied.
“You forgot humble,” Ethan added.
“Yeah, that’s right, I forgot,” Amy said. “What else do we have to work on?”
Ethan reached forward and placed his hand on Amy’s waist. He pulled her onto his lap, and she felt a rush of excitement as she pressed her chest against his. “Let’s talk about kissing,” Ethan replied.
“What about it?” Amy was half disappointed to feel Ethan’s bathing suit between them.
“I was just thinking back to this morning, and I wanted to know what you thought about it.”
“I thought it was pretty convincing for a fake kiss,” Amy replied. She had a pretty good idea of what Ethan was suggesting with the question.
Ethan smiled at her. “If that was fake, then I’d love to hear what you think a real kiss should be like,” he said.
“So, Mr. Experienced, tell me, what’s a real kiss supposed to feel like?”
“Besides good? There are many different kind of kisses, Amy. There are first kisses, and there are the uncertain, hurried ones that follow, and there are the kisses of couples who have known everything about each other for years.”
“Are you finally showing me some of that charm I’ve heard so much about, the charisma that seems to get you in trouble again and again?”
“Well, why don’t you tell me what you think?” Ethan replied. “Let’s start at the beginning. What do you think a first kiss should be?”
“I think a first kiss should be like a barn
fire.”
“A barn fire?” Ethan asked.
“Yeah, have you ever seen one burn before? I was twelve when I saw one. It was a summer before my first kiss, but I can still remember the heat and the way the flames curled up around that barn like a fist. I want a first kiss to take hold like that, to completely devastate me.”
“If you’re going to go with the flame idea, then a first kiss should be a candle,” Ethan replied.
“How so?” Amy asked.
“You have to be careful not to build it into something it isn’t. A first kiss is a promise. It’s a hint, a hope. It makes you feel like your standing at the edge of a cliff looking down. It’s disorienting. It’s new, and it leaves you with just enough that you know you want more. You know you’ll do whatever it takes to see where the next kiss will take you.” Ethan reached over and placed his hand on Amy’s shoulder, tracing his finger toward her collarbone. Even in the hot tub, she shivered in anticipation. “That’s a real first kiss. It’s a promise. And in that first kiss, as I run my hands over your shoulders or down your sides, as you press your frame against mine, you’ll know what I mean. Everything else will fade away, leaving only that need, burning deep inside you.”
Amy let herself lean in toward Ethan, moving closer until she was close enough to feel his hot breath on her cheek. She thought back to the kiss in the kitchen earlier, that little spark. She knew this moment was different. That was for show, but now there was no one around to see. No, she admitted to herself, this was for her. She wanted this. She could feel the need rising up inside herself. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as her anticipation grew.
Then Ethan leaned in and kissed her. His lips felt softer than ever. Amy wanted more. She pulled herself tighter against his chest She loved the way his skin felt against hers. She loved the way he traced his tongue along her lip before sliding it into her mouth. She met his kiss with one of her own. She didn’t want to enjoy herself this much, but it was a problem she was willing to have.