by Avery James
Before she went in, she grabbed a pair of shorts from the suitcase. They were barely more than underwear, and they looked like they’d be a tight fit, but she figured it was better than parading in front of Ethan completely naked. She wasn’t sure she was ready for Ethan to see her like that. Not yet, anyway.
She had locked the door to the bathroom behind her, but the entire time she was in the shower, Amy imagined Ethan opening the door and walking inside, standing just outside the glass door to the shower as her anticipation mounted and then letting himself inside as the steam wrapped around their naked bodies. What was the shame in a little bit of fantasy? Amy thought as she finished up her shower and began to dry off. As she slid into the shorts, she heard Ethan entering the bedroom. She thought for a moment about going out in a towel, but decided against it. If he was going to flirt with her, she was going to see what he was made of.
Amy looked at herself in the mirror. A thin film of fog clung to the surface, blurring her view of herself. She liked the effect. It was almost like she was looking at someone else in the mirror, someone sexy and self-confident in the bedroom. She wondered what Ethan would think when he saw her.
As Amy stepped out of the bathroom, she glanced at Ethan sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers. The cool air rolled over her skin as she snuck a peek at his torso. She feigned surprise and said, “I didn’t know you were here.” She took careful note of the way Ethan looked at her. Amy could tell he was checking her out, but since she had just done the same, she couldn’t complain. She was in short shorts and a bra, and she wanted Ethan to admire her body. She couldn’t deny that either. After letting Ethan ogle her for a moment, she cleared her throat and said, “So… how do I, your wife, compare to your last girlfriend? I have trouble keeping track of all of them in my head. I just see a parade of exotic women with perfect figures.”
Ethan smiled, “I see a perfect figure, too.” Amy had set herself up for that one. He had been thinking about Amy’s body all day. He had stripped down to his boxers so he could jump in the shower, but, now that he had Amy in front of him, he had other ideas. Amy hardly ever wore clothes that showed it off properly, but now that she was stripped down to almost nothing, Ethan couldn’t help but stare. He loved the little lines along the side of her abs, and he liked her thighs. As he stared at her legs, he said, “To be honest, they’ve all kind of blended together in my head. For the great range of their backgrounds, they all shared the same interest.”
“And what’s that, you?”
Ethan laughed. “No, themselves. I guess that was the draw. They would rather stare at themselves in the mirror than look at any man, never mind me. I gave them the attention they craved, and they never paid attention to me long enough to see that I had nothing to offer.”
“Other than money and fame,” Amy replied. “There must have been some reason they stayed with you.” The washboard abs definitely didn’t hurt. “If half of what I was able to keep out of the tabloids was true…” As she looked at him, Amy wondered again what it would be like to give herself to Ethan. She imagined he would be a considerate lover. She imagined him slipping his hands under her panties and pulling them down around her thighs as she let out a little gasp of excitement. She imagined him kissing and licking her body as she got more and more excited.
“I’ve learned a few things over the past few years.”
Amy turned back to the suitcase and wondered if she should put on a t-shirt. If Ethan wanted to seduce her, he’d have to do better than that speech. As she reached for the shirt, Ethan added, “Yeah, and I’d want to give myself completely to you. I couldn’t do that with women who were barely there.”
“Poor rich boy,” Amy said. “So lonely with your beautiful women.”
Then Ethan said, “I like when a woman can hold her own. Confidence and wit do a lot more for me than anything else.”
“Really?” Amy said. “And I thought you were after me for my money. So that’s why you’ve been flirting with me, because I can string together a sentence? What am I supposed to find attractive about you?”
“Would you like me to show you?” Ethan asked. He gave her a wink, and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Maybe the rumors about you are true.”
“Come over here,” Ethan said. He reached his arm out. “Get just close enough. Come on,” he said.
Amy stepped forward, slowly making her way across the room toward the bed. She couldn’t tell if Ethan was joking with her or if he was making a point, but the closer she got, the more excited she became. She wanted him. She wanted to jump on top of him and pin him to the bed. She wanted to have her way with him. God, it had been so long since she had been with a man. “So that’s your secret?” Amy asked. “Cologne and an authoritative voice?”
“No secret,” Ethan replied. “There’s no mystery. I want you to imagine for a moment that you’ve wanted something very badly for a very long time, and now it’s so close that you could reach out and grab it.” Amy didn’t have to imagine. She wanted Ethan. She wondered if he could tell how excited she was, if he noticed the blush on her cheeks in the dim light, if he could hear her breathing, if he could feel her need. It never occurred to her that he was talking about himself instead of her.
Then, as she inched closer, Amy realized she could hear his breaths. She could feel his heat. She leaned in close enough to whisper in his ear. “So is this how you plan on making me one of your ‘blur of women?’” Amy listened to her cell phone vibrating from across the room. For once, she didn’t care who was calling. She was much more interested in what was going on right in front of her.
Ethan reached out and wrapped his arms around Amy’s waist. “I’ll say this,” he said. “I’ve never confused you with anyone else. Good and bad, I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”
“Was that a compliment?” Amy asked.
“It’s a statement of fact,” Ethan replied.
Amy’s pulse quickened as Ethan slid his hand over her lower back. As he pulled her firmly against himself, she felt a rush of excitement. Ethan pressed his lips against her neck, sending a bloom of warmth through her body. Amy felt an ache of desire rising up inside her. There was no getting around it this time. She wanted to give herself to him. Even though her mind was telling her to take things slowly. Even though she knew not to get her hopes up, she couldn’t help herself. She needed this. She needed for once in her life to give in to an urge.
Somewhere in the past minute they had crossed the line from flirtation into foreplay. Was it when Ethan placed his hand on her back? Was it when she leaned against him and settled into his lap? Or was it the way he grazed his lips against her skin? Amy didn’t know which moment had plunged them past the point of no return, but things were different now. And Amy liked that change.
As Ethan kissed her neck he slid his hand up Amy’s back, hooking his fingers under her bra strap. Amy leaned back and felt the warm thrill of Ethan’s touch. Though she half wanted him to undress her, she didn’t want to give in so easily. “Not so fast,” she whispered. He slid his hand back to her shoulder, pulling her against himself, as he kissed her on the lips.
The warmth of his kiss washed over Amy like a wave; she felt like she was melting in his arms. The wonderful release of each kiss made her more and more excited. She slid her tongue back against his, releasing new thrills. She paused for a moment and smiled at Ethan. She could get used to this.
After Amy caught her breath, she whispered to Ethan, “kiss me again.” When he sealed his lips against hers, she leaned in, feeling that rush of excitement one more time. She still felt flushed and dizzy, and she wanted to make him feel as delighted as she was. She tilted him back in the bed and held herself over him. He smiled up at her. “You know,” she said, “you’re not half bad at this.”
“Wait ‘til you see how bad I can be,” Ethan said, grinning. He ran his hands back over her bra straps, waiting for her permission.
“Not yet,” Amy said, pulling Ethan�
�s hands off. He placed them on her thighs and made eye contact with her. His touch was electric, sending jolts of excitement through Amy’s core. His fingers felt wonderfully firm against her soft skin, reassuring and confident. Amy was going to enjoy herself thoroughly, but she didn’t want to rush things. She placed her hands down on Ethan’s chest and pushed herself up. It was time to make Ethan want her as much as she wanted him. Amy hopped off of the bed and looked back. She could tell Ethan was intently watching her, trying to figure out what she was doing.
“That bad, eh?” he said.
“No, that good. Now, don’t look. I need to change. Let’s hope you packed something appropriate.”
“Are you serious?” Ethan sat up in bed, almost reaching for Amy. She could tell that he didn’t care what she was wearing, but she wanted to feel sexy if she was going to give herself to him. She wanted to regain a bit of control over the situation.
“Yes. Don’t worry. Just turn around and look away for a minute.” Amy looked over to her suitcase, which lay open next to the bureau. She knew Ethan had packed lingerie as a way to rile her up. Now she wanted to return the favor by wearing it. She wanted to see the look on his face as she emerged from the bathroom wearing thigh-highs and a garter. She could already hear his excited breaths in her imagination. Amy imagined the way Ethan would look at her, the way he’d start to get excited. She imagined the look in his eye as she slipped off her bra, as she pressed herself against him, as she took what she wanted. Just thinking about it made her feel sexy. It made her want Ethan the way she wanted Ethan to want her. She wanted him to lust for her. “Now, turn around.”
Amy couldn’t help but giggle as she waited for Ethan to look the other way. All of this was so unlike her. She never let herself get into situations like this, and she definitely never giggled. It was like her time alone with Ethan was rewiring her brain, making her into someone else. Amy couldn’t help but wonder if she liked this different version of herself: sexier, more fun. Then she heard the phone buzz again, and her old self came back, determined to check in, determined to know what was going on.
Ethan turned over and waited for Amy to give him the go-ahead. He couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you really have to get that?”
“This is the third time in ten minutes, Ethan,” Amy replied as she reached for the phone.
“Come on, can’t you leave the phone alone for just one night?”
“What if it’s Logan?” Amy joked, teasing Ethan. “I’m sure its work. It will just take a second. I’ll turn it off after.”
“Is that a promise?”
“I swear on my wedding band that I will not pick the phone back up after this.”
“What a solemn vow,” Ethan replied.
As Amy listened to the voicemail, Ethan watched as a look of concern spread across her face. She couldn’t help but check her phone, he thought. After everything he had told her about letting go and enjoying the moment and not worrying herself to death every moment of every day. She just couldn’t let go.
“What is it? Did some congressman get caught in bed with a farm animal?”
Amy listened to the message a second time. Callie had called her again and again, and she hoped more than anything that she had just misheard the message, but the second time through was the same as the first. Aunt Violet had a heart attack and was in serious condition. Amy’s blood ran cold as she imagined Violet alone on the kitchen floor clutching her chest, unable to call out for help, all alone.
“It’s my aunt. She had a heart attack. She’s in the hospital.” Amy’s head swirled as she thought about what Vi must be going through, what Callie must be going through waiting for her in the hospital. She had been selfish not to check her phone, she thought. She could already be halfway home. Hell, if she hadn’t gone to Wyoming, she’d be by Vi’s side at that very moment. She should have been there. Amy braced herself against the bureau and tried to breathe.
Ethan jumped out of the bed and walked over to Amy. He placed his hands on hers. “I’m so sorry. I never would have said—”
“I have to go, Ethan.”
“I can come back with you. We can head back in my plane. It’s not a problem. I’ll meet with Hank another time.”
Amy pushed Ethan’s hand away. “You don’t have to, Ethan. I don’t need you to solve my problems. It’s one thing for the two of us to play around and pretend that we’re people we aren’t, to pretend there’s something between us and that we’re the kind of people who can just forget about all of our responsibilities and relax, but you don’t have to pretend, ok? I know that isn’t the case. Today was wonderful. It was, but it’s a fantasy.”
“Oh,” Ethan replied, “I’m sorry. I didn’t— I mean, I’ll call down to the airport and see how soon I can get you a flight back to DC.” Ethan grabbed his phone and walked out of the room.
Amy sat down on the bed and wondered if she had upset Ethan, but she didn’t have time to worry about him. It was her family member who was sick. If she hadn’t been on the trip, she would already be there for her.
Half an hour later, Amy was dressed and had gathered the few things she wanted to take back with her. She looked at the suitcases full of clothes that Ethan had packed for her. They seemed like big, empty promises. She wondered if he just had multiples of them waiting for whatever woman he whisked away. It made her sick that she was even thinking about it when her aunt was fighting for her life back in Washington, but Amy couldn’t help it. She was angry and upset and she didn’t know what to do about it.
As she sat on the bed, trying to calm herself, Amy heard a knock on the door. “Hello?” she said, wondering why he felt a need to knock.
“I thought maybe you’d need a moment,” Ethan said. “I just wanted to make sure you’re all right. The jet is fueling now, and I’ll drive you down to the airport myself.”
“I’m sure someone else can take me,” Amy replied. “You should get some sleep. You have a big meeting with Hank tomorrow. Don’t let me get in the way of that.”
“Just let me know when you’re ready,” Ethan said.
“Ok,” Amy replied.
They rode in silence. Amy stared out the window at the reflection of the moonlight off of the snow. For the whole ride, Amy couldn’t manage a word. She just kept staring off into the distance. The landscape that had seemed so beautiful earlier in the day seemed like a wasteland. How had she been able to fool herself into thinking that she could be the carefree woman she had been over the past few days?
Amy had spent her entire adult life worrying and planning and fixing other people’s messes, and she felt ashamed of herself for thinking that maybe she could change, that maybe she could let go and enjoy herself for once. There was a reason she never let her guard down. She couldn’t even look over at Ethan. She just wanted to get on that plane. She wanted to quit the marriage and just put all of it behind her. She wanted to get back to her aunt and her sister, to the people who really needed her.
She barely managed to say goodbye as Ethan helped her up the steps to the plane. Once inside, she belted herself into a seat and closed her eyes. Soon, she’d be back in her life. Soon she’d be able to make everything right.
***
Ethan leaned back against the SUV and watched as his plane took off in the predawn darkness. He watched until it disappeared from sight. He let the cold Wyoming wind blow through him. He had spent the entire ride down to the airport wondering what he should say, wondering whether he should tell Amy what their time together had meant to him. He knew she wouldn’t want to hear it, that she’d say something about him not needing to spare her feelings. Why was it that he could stand toe to toe with any man in the business world and say exactly what was on his mind, but he couldn’t say the simplest words to her?
Ethan got back inside the SUV and started it up. Just when things had really started to take off with Amy, she was gone. It was like fate didn’t want them together, at least not yet. Ethan wasn’t a fan of fate, and he wasn’t a fa
n of waiting any longer to tell Amy how he felt about her. He wasn’t looking forward to the ride back to Hilson’s lodge, but business was business, and he had a job to do.
Chapter 14
Amy leaned back in the leather chair and closed her eyes in an attempt to relax. She had a headache, and her heart was racing. She could feel her pulse in her temple as she tried not to think about what all of this meant. She had allowed herself to let her guard down for one weekend, not even one weekend. She had let herself pretend that she was someone else, someone who could live in the moment, someone who could be playful and silly and fall in love. Amy traced her finger back and forth along the armrest. She felt so foolish to have believed that things would somehow work out, that she could just forget about all of her responsibilities to her family and her employees so she could chase after a dream she never knew she had.
She felt ashamed. Deep in her bones, deep in the pit of her stomach, she felt ashamed and angry at herself. Violet, one of the only people in the world Amy truly cared about, was in the hospital, fighting for her life, and all Amy could think about was herself and her love life. She kept on running through that scene in the bedroom, wondering what would have happened if she had ignored the phone call and come back to bed with Ethan. The more she thought about it, the more she hated herself for listening to him and believing that she could take time for herself, believing that she could just think about herself for once instead of taking care of everyone else.
Against her expectations, the trip to Wyoming had been wonderful. In a few days, Hank Harris had become more of a father figure to her than her own father had ever been, and Ethan, well, Ethan had surprised her. She knew he was charming. She knew he was handsome, and though she hadn’t expected his abs to be quite so hard or his jokes to be quite so funny, there was something else about him that had gotten through to her. She had felt like he understood her, like he knew what she needed when she was too afraid to admit to herself what that was. And she had been surprised by his gentleness that he hid so well behind his trademark wit.