And then I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I expect it, no, want it to be John’s, but it instead belongs to Michael.
“God, I’m sorry,” he says, pressing his lips together and removing his hand after a quick pat. “I am being an asshole, but he’s my brother, and—”
“I understand,” I finally manage to croak out. “I have no intention of hurting him, but I’m not perfect, not like Madison.” I throw a harsh look at both men but I’m more confused than angry. John had never mentioned anything at all to me about having had a drug problem. Not that I could blame him. I have my own things to hide.
“Oh, Jesus, I really do sound like a dick.” Michael shakes his head and sighs.
“Don’t take it personally.” Stephen sits up and folds his hands on the table. “You seem like a great girl, but we just have to be sure because John is getting in deep with you, and that dude from the club… what was his name?”
“Ike,” I say with the disgust it merits.
“Yeah, well, he just looked kind of suspect, and—”
“I’m not with him anymore,” I charge back. “I wasn’t even with him that night… not really. But you really shouldn’t judge people by the way they look.”
“We try not to,” Michael cuts in. “Look, I’m sorry Emma… really. Like I said, he’s my little brother, and we’re just keeping an eye out.”
There are so many things I could say back to him, but I don’t say anything at all, and an uncomfortable silence settles across the table.
“Well, that was interesting,” Meg says, breaking the quiet and slipping back into her seat. “Used to really like that girl, but she’s transformed herself into a real snobby bitch.”
“You taking over my spot?” John asks his brother.
Michael pats me on the shoulder again, but I don’t look at him. I can’t even look at John.
“Well, we did go to private school,” Denny says.
“Sure, but we aren’t snobs, are we?” Court asks.
“Not sure… maybe we should ask Emma.”
All eyes are suddenly on me, including John’s.
“Some of you can be a little pompous,” I say, making sure to look right at Michael as the words pass through my lips.
Michael raises a brow, and then I turn to John, smile and whisper, “Just kidding.”
When he smiles back at me, I think he knows something happened while he’d stepped away, but he doesn’t ask, and for that I’m thankful.
CHAPTER NINE
EMMA
John makes everything better.
Last night was difficult, but I hadn’t wanted to burden John with it, hadn’t wanted to tell him his beloved older brother wasn’t quite as on our side as we’d hoped. Maybe he already knew that and had said otherwise for my benefit.
But just sleeping next to his warm, naked body had been enough to comfort me, had been enough to make me believe we could overcome any hurdles.
“You awake?” he asks, stretching his long limbs out and cradling the curve of my ass as I turn to him.
“For a few minutes,” I say, dragging my toes across his muscular legs.
“You have a few more for me?” He raises an eyebrow, a sure smile on his full lips.
“Of course,” I reply, dragging my finger down the hard muscles of his chest. “But don’t you have to be at your internship?” It’s already close to seven, and his father expects him there no later than eight.
“It’s my last week, so maybe I can be a few minutes late.”
Him saying that is as good as any invitation, and I easily bring my lips to his and wrap my arms firmly around his masculine torso.
He expertly grabs and then rips a condom packet open, easing it over his hardness as I spread myself for him, pulsating with a yearning desire to feel him inside of me. The anticipation of us connecting in that way is almost as good as the connection itself. There is a slight teasing spark in his eyes that soon goes serious and heavy as he positions himself above me, and I can’t take my eyes away from him—I feel forever his.
I run my fingers through his hair and stroke his left cheek and jaw line, tracing the hair of his sexy, light beard, just as he pushes in and then buries himself in my wetness. I’m transported to that place where the only thing that matters is he and I. He is all I see, all I think of, as our bodies connect, as heat pulses through me, engorges me and makes my toes curl. So overcome with my own pleasure, I almost don’t notice the moment John releases himself into me. At that last moment, I grab onto his shoulders and pull the bulk of him closer, not ready to be apart.
I don’t know how long we lie together like that, but I eventually tap him on the shoulder and tell him I’m afraid he might be very late to his internship if he doesn’t get himself out of bed.
“It’s okay,” he says, begrudgingly pulling away from me. “Maybe I should just tell Dad I’m sick or something.”
“You can’t do that.” The things Michael said to me move to the forefront of my mind, and I don’t want to be responsible for John not fulfilling his responsibilities.
“Why not?” he asks with a crooked smile.
“I don’t want your family to think I’m a bad influence, okay?”
He sighs but doesn’t argue the point. “Okay, can you at least join me in the shower?”
“Yes, I can do that,” I say with a smile.
The house is empty once John leaves. As summer has drawn to a close, he’s basically invited me to live with him, and I’ve been doing that, packing things slowly over and enjoying the reprieve from my cramped room downtown. It’s soon, out of my comfort zone a bit, and I worry Stephen and Denny aren’t totally okay with it, but I still can’t seem to help myself. Being away from John is just too hard.
Before he’d left for his internship, he’d offered to drop me off somewhere, but I hadn’t yet been sure where I might go or what I might do on my day off from Patrice’s. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try to meet my mom for lunch or head back to the condo just to tidy up my room, but I instead decide to text Jennifer and see if she’s available for that coffee we mentioned.
“I wasn’t sure you’d call me,” she says once we’re seated in the University District coffee shop I’d taken the bus to get to.
“Really?” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but it makes me feel like a horrible friend anyway.
“It just seemed like you wanted to move on once you guys moved away. Things were so complicated for you, so I tried to respect that. I wasn’t even sure you were happy to see me yesterday.”
“I was. It’s just that John doesn’t know about… well, you know?”
“That shouldn’t matter if he loves you, and he sure looks like he does to me.”
“He does,” I say, sure of that part at least. “But guys are weird. I’m just afraid he’ll think I’m some kind of slut.”
Jennifer takes a sip of her coffee, appearing to study me. “We all had a crush on Mr. Thatcher, Emma. He was such a nerdy cute teacher that even the guys thought was cool. How in the world could anyone judge you for wanting to be with him or for all the things that came after?”
I swallow hard. “He was still my teacher. And it wasn’t legal, even if I thought it was at the time.”
“So, if anyone should be judged, it should be him. You really think your boyfriend wouldn’t understand?”
I could tell her about what Michael said to me about John’s drug use, about how maybe I think that would make him more sympathetic to my own shortcomings, but I don’t dare. John doesn’t even know I know.
“We’ve only been dating for about a month, so it’s still new. There’s so much he doesn’t know.”
Jennifer nods. “I just wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe it’s something you wait to tell him until you know you’re beyond solid.”
“You’re right,” I say. “Thank you.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
“I’m not a very good one. I haven’t even asked a thing about you. Are yo
u dating anyone?”
She laughs heartily before bursting into a set of giggles that remind me of her bubblier side.
“You okay?” I ask, amused.
“Yes,” she says, settling down. “It’s just that… well, do you remember Langston Parsons?”
“Yeah. He was like our star quarterback, right?”
She tilts her head affirmatively. “That’s not the only thing he was a star at.”
I can’t help but giggle right along with her. “Really, Jennifer? You slept with Langston?”
She covers her mouth and nods, looking as though she’s trying to control another fit of giggles. “I get so nervous even talking about it,” she says, shaking her head and biting her lower lip. “And then I laugh like an idiot!”
“You don’t,” I say. “I love your laughter… it’s… endearing.”
“You’re too kind,” she says, settling down. “That’s basically what Langston told me too. I dated him for half of junior and all of senior year.”
“Wow, I never would have imagined, because, well… umm…” What I’m very clumsily getting at is the fact that Jennifer is undeniably a beautiful girl—with a captivating laugh—while Langston has the face only a mother could love.
“Yes.” Jennifer looks like she knows just where my train of thought was going. “He was never on my top ten list, but I got to know him on a volunteer day in junior year, and I really liked him. And his body is to die for, so you get past a face that isn’t quite perfect and see what’s beneath.”
“For sure,” I say, strangely having imagined that even if John somehow had his face mangled in a car accident, that I’d still love him, that nothing at all could change that. “Where is Langston now?”
“California. Got a full ride to UC Davis. I cut the cord and told him I couldn’t do long distance. I think he was actually sad about it.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” especially because Jennifer sounds pretty bummed about it as well, her laughter dying like a last red ember going dark.
“Me too, but I can’t imagine trying to fly down there every couple months or worrying about him hooking up with other girls. And with Kevin home, it’s kind of crazy around the house.”
“I miss your family,” I say, “all of them.” And I do. When Paige moved away in the fourth grade, I felt alone and sad. Even if we didn’t always play with her little sisters, they were usually around, and I felt like we had our own little tribe between our two houses. I hadn’t felt that way again until middle school when I’d met Jennifer, and her family had welcomed me into their home like an honorary sister and daughter.
“They miss you too,” she says. “In fact, why don’t you come by? They’d love to see you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Okay, sure,” I reply, excited at the prospect. “That would be really nice, and maybe on the way over, you can tell me all the details about Langston?”
Jennifer blushes ever so slightly before her frown breaks and she goes back into that nervous fit of giggles. “There’s a lot to tell, Emma,” she says with a suggestive flair.
“Exactly what I was hoping for!”
JOHN
Dad is out of the office today, and I’m grateful. I’ve barely spoken to him since Labor Day, but I’ve fulfilled my internship duties here just as I’d said I would.
Of course it can be difficult to concentrate when I’m thinking about Emma. This morning had been amazing. Every nerve in my body had been kicked into high gear with her. As I begin going through legal briefs, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to feel her without protection. We’d both gone to the women’s clinic she’d suggested, been tested like responsible adults and come out clean. She’d started the pill, and I understand having to wait until it’s fully effective, but I get the feeling that, even then, Emma is going to be extra cautious. I can’t blame her… she’s only nineteen. And yet the possibility of a kid doesn’t scare me. I could support a family if I had to. Men younger than me are capable of it, and I’d be able to finish up law school as well. I’m pretty much planning an entire future for Emma and I when there is a rap at the door and the telltale scent of lilacs. It’s the only scent of perfume my mother wears.
“Hello, Jonathan,” she says, pushing the door open and offering me a reserved smile.
“Mom.” I’m sure my one-word reply sounds cold, but that’s fine by me.
“Your father had mentioned you didn’t want to share his office,” she says, walking around the small space I’ve been working in. She doesn’t look impressed, her lips pursed and her eyes disapproving.
“I know how he feels about Emma, and I don’t really want to be close enough to him to hear him verbalize it.”
“Oh… Emma.” She sighs. “Yes, you certainly took offense to me mentioning Madison in front of her on Labor Day.”
“And I shouldn’t have?” I ask, rising from my chair.
“Let’s go to lunch,” she says, brushing something, lint or a mote of dust, off my shoulder.
“I don’t think so, Mom.”
“Really, Jonathan, this has to stop. I’m your mother, and I’m not used to my children freezing me out.”
“What’s sad is that I am used to you meddling in my life and trying to veer it into the direction you want it to go.”
“You call it meddling… I call it love and concern and knowing a thing or two more than those who have been on this earth fewer decades than I’ve been.” Mom says this with a degree of sweetness that makes it difficult to completely shut her out.
“Fine,” I relent. Better to get it over with now instead of suffering through her innuendos about what a bad son I’ve become.
“Very good,” she says. “Can you go now?”
We’re seated in one of the most formal and expensive restaurants downtown where my mother appears to know the manager since we get seated without a reservation. Thankfully I wore a suit today instead of just the more casual button up shirt I sometimes get away with.
“This is nice, isn’t it?” Mom says. “It’s been too long since you and I sat down and really talked.”
“It hasn’t been that long. I seem to remember us doing something similar in July when Madison and I broke up.”
“Oh, yes, that’s right.” She’s trying to sound aloof, but my mother is wholly calculating.
Once we’re served a meal that my mother will only touch a small portion of, I decide to push through any possible small talk and get right to the point. “I have no plans on breaking up with Emma if that’s what this is about. You and Dad didn’t even give her a chance.”
Mom dabs the corners of her lips with her white napkin. “I apologize if I was rude, Jonathan, but really, just bringing her to the party surely made Madison feel like she’d already been replaced.”
I sigh heavily. “You realize there is a long line of men who’d gladly go out with Madison, right?”
“But she doesn’t want those men. She wants you.”
“More importantly, you want her as your daughter-in-law, regardless of how I feel about it.”
She shrugs daintily. “I won’t lie. I absolutely adore her. And she adores you.”
“She adores me as long as I do what she wants me to. As long as I keep to the path you and she have worked out for me.”
“And is there anything wrong with that? The straight and narrow can be an awfully good thing.”
“Emma doesn’t do drugs,” I say, knowing damn well where Mom is going with this. “She might drink a little, but she’s never touched anything else as far as I can tell.”
Mom purses her lips. “She’s nineteen, so she shouldn’t be drinking at all. And what is she doing with her life? Any college plans?”
“Yes, she has plans, but if you’re so interested in them, then why didn’t you ask her yourself on Labor Day instead of ignoring her?”
Finally, Mom stares me down with a cold, accusing glare. “You will not be with that girl,” she sa
ys, apparently done with any niceties she’d been attempting to shower on me.
“Damn if I won’t,” I say, getting up from the table, plunking down several twenties and walking out.
CHAPTER TEN
EMMA
Seeing Jennifer’s family again had been wonderful. Her brother, Kevin, and her mother welcomed me like it had only been a few days since I’d seen them last. I had a warm feeling when I’d left them, but it had also made me sad knowing I’d spent so much time away from people who really cared about me. Even if there were people who’d judged me for what happened with Mr. Thatcher, Jennifer and her family certainly hadn’t.
If Mom and I had stayed in North Seattle, who knows what direction my life would have gone in. I never would have met Ike or Angela, and I might not have developed a drinking problem. Might not have. But then maybe I’d have never met John, and that’s not something I’m willing to lose, even if I’d had to suffer a little to get here.
Since I’ve basically been living at the house in Wallingford, I decide to give the place a good cleaning, from top to bottom, avoiding Stephen and Denny’s bedrooms. I also refrain from digging too deeply into John’s. I’m sure I could find things on his computer or in his drawers that might give me pause. Lord knows that Ike’s computer was full of porn, his sock drawer full of condoms and his phone packed with the numbers of girls I’d imagined he probably cheated on me with. Not that I expect anything like that with John.
Denny is the first to arrive home after I’ve spent several hours cleaning, listening to music and organizing the coat closet that had heaps of coats in the back, some mismatched shoes and boots tossed in as well. He looks surprised to see me.
“I thought you’d be at work,” he says, dark circles under his eyes.
“My day off,” I say cheerily. “I was just cleaning up the house.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he says, flopping down on the couch.
“I don’t mind. And I hope you’d tell me if you aren’t comfortable with me here. I know it’s a little strange, and kind of soon.”
Broken by Love (The Basin Lake Series Book 2) Page 12