by Nana Malone
He laughed again lightly and paused before adding, "Thank you." He paused again. "I know it's…uh…we didn't… Things." She could hear him swallow. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," she whispered, feeling a twinge somewhere in the center of her chest. She was too close to him. It would hurt when he finally got bored. But she couldn't let go. Not yet.
Eighteen
Shit. This was so fucked. Dax was sweating like he'd been doing 3 a days in the Jacksonville summer heat. He'd never been so nervous. And he wasn't the one getting married.
Bryce laughed at him as they stood at the altar. "Aren't you supposed to be the one calming me down?"
"What do you have to worry about?" Dax asked with a smile. "You and Tami are great together, and you're going to be fine. I'm the one everyone's expecting will somehow manage to fuck things up."
Bryce shook his head. "Do you have the rings?"
Dax checked his pocket and pulled them out, along with the notecards for his speech, giving both a final glance before putting them back. "Yes."
"You'll be fine. Just…find something calming to focus on, and pay attention to that. I'll nudge you when it's your turn for something," Bryce promised.
Dax nodded, looking out into the growing sea of faces, and his hands shook. His parents and grandparents were seated in the first row, their heads bent in conversation. His mother was tightly holding his father's hand and she already had tissues out, crying quietly as she watched the two of them. His father looked tired and old in a way that struck Dax hard.
His parents were getting older, but it was easy to overlook that, next to the vigor demonstrated by his grandparents. But even they weren't as foreboding as he once found them to be.
As he watched them, Gramps' gaze focused on him, meeting his eye. Dax was familiar with most of his grandfather's facial expressions, but there was something different about the way he was being examined this time. It wasn't the usual disappointment or disgust. He wasn't sure what it was that was different. Maybe that was it. There was uncertainty in the old man's eyes. Something he'd been convinced of, sure about, had been altered and he was trying to decide what to do about it.
Whatever his conclusion might be, the attention was making Dax uncomfortable.
He shifted his attention back to his father, but caught sight of Asha sitting on the other side of the church. She'd opted to sit on Tami's side, having befriended her rather quickly on the only other occasion they'd met, and in an effort to balance out the seating in the church. Tami had no close family, and most of her friends were friends she had in common with Bryce.
Asha wasn't wearing anything like what he'd seen her in before. She wore purple this time. Her dress still hugged her curves, but it had some panels that flowed out over her legs making it look like she was floating. She'd pulled her hair away from her face but it still hung loose, secured by something that sparkled the same way her dress did. She was looking over her shoulder to the entrance where guests were pouring in at a suddenly steadier rate and filling up the rows of seats. She shifted and turned her head, camera in hand, snapping photos of the flower arrangements spaced evenly along the outer ends of the rows.
Dax relaxed as he watched her. After a few moments, she turned and caught him staring at her. She smiled, made a face, and then raised her camera to snap a shot of him with Bryce. His brother laughed below his breath.
"What?" Dax asked, finally looking away from Asha.
"Nothing." Bryce watched him with a sideways look until Fox and Gage came up, having handed over ushering duties.
“What do you mean nothing?”
His brother laughed. “I’m just wondering if you know how you feel about her yet?”
Dax rubbed at the burning spot in his chest. “She’s great. Awesome.”
Bryce just kept laughing.
“What is it?” Dax asked with a frown.
“Just that I want to be a fly on the wall when you do realize it. You’re expression is going to be hilarious.”
"Tami and the bridesmaids are here," Fox whispered as he straightened his boutonniere.
All four brothers tensed as a hush fell over the church and people made it to their final places, ready to begin.
Dax's eyes found their way to Asha again. Her attention, along with everyone else's, was on the bride waiting in the wings for her cue. Everyone's attention except Dax's. Bryce was right. He loved that girl. Which meant he was so totally screwed.
Asha watched as Dax made his best-man speech, mouthing the words along with him, happy that while his gaze frequently found its way to her, he didn't seem to be lip-reading, but rather seeking her out for reassurance.
"To my big brother, Bryce, and my new sister, Tami," he said in conclusion, raising his glass of champagne. "When you know, you know."
There was a round of applause and the sound of glasses clinking, while Bryce and Tami rose so they could take turns awkwardly hugging Dax from across one another. Asha and a slew of other guests snapped photos.
Then it was Amy, the maid of honor's turn to speak, and Asha set her camera down and took a few more bites of her piece of the wedding cake. The dinner, speeches, and formalities were nearly over, and soon the plates would be whisked away so the dancing could start.
She was only half paying attention to Amy's speech. Something about Tami using a tennis racket to beat up a mugger. Instead, she glanced around the room, amazed at just how different it looked from when she'd crashed the high school reunion with the Coulter siblings only a few weeks earlier. The lighting and table decorations played a huge role in the change, but there were fewer tables as well. It was a much more intimate affair than she'd imagined it would be.
She found herself watching the table with Dax's family gathered around. His parents and grandparents each held on to each other. His mother rested her head against his father's shoulder. His grandmother had an arm around his grandfather. There was something mutually possessive about it, each staking a claim to their partner as they watched Bryce and Tami, sitting close with their fingers intertwined, always finding a way to maintain physical contact with one another.
I want that. And she did. Hell, a boyfriend would be great. A real one. What she was doing with Dax, it didn't count. And it was stopping her from doing what she came to do in Jacksonville. Open up. Broaden her horizons. She spent all her time with him, and he wasn't an option. Besides, he might want her, but he didn't do relationships.
Asha rubbed a hand up her bare arm and fiddled with the sheer over-layer of her dress with its glittery beading, picking at a loose thread in the stitching while she swallowed and took a few deep breaths. She knew part of the problem was that she was sitting by herself.
Well, not truly alone, but with a handful of other guests who were strangers to her, at a table of mismatched leftovers. The guests who they couldn't be sure would come, along with the plus ones, whose dates were a part of the bridal party or were otherwise occupied. Of course, she wasn't really a true guest for the wedding. She wasn't Dax's formal date. Deep down she knew that was part of the problem. She wasn't really lonely, in the sense that she was desperately single. And she was frustrated, because when she was with Dax she wasn't lonely at all.
She'd been lying to herself. She wanted to be with him.
Clapping and further toasting shattered her introspective moment. She gulped the champagne in her glass, the bubbles tickling her sinuses, and further scattering the broken thoughts of a few moments earlier.
Bryce and Tami headed for the dance floor to share their first dance.
She was so busy watching the happy couple, she missed Dax as he snuck around the head table to sit in the empty seat beside her. She clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the yelp she let out when she saw him.
"Sorry," he whispered.
"For making me jump out of my skin?"
"Well, that, and for kind of abandoning you here like this. When I invited you to be my date, I wasn't thinking about the seating arrangement
s or anything like that."
"It's fine," she assured him. "It's kind of a work thing, so it's not a big deal. Not any kind of deal. At all."
He glanced down at his hands, nodding slowly but saying nothing and Asha's face heated. She was glad he wasn't looking at her in that moment, because they were getting dangerously close to—
"I don't care if it's a work thing for you or not," he said, interrupting her train of thought. "It's also a wedding, and as a guest, you should be having a good time. So," he said, rising with a quick look to the dance floor. "Dance with me?"
She turned to the crowded floor then back to Dax. His eyes wandered over her, searching. He wanted her and she wanted him.
She stood and took his hand.
Nineteen
The sparkly things on Asha's dress pressed into Dax's palm as his hand found its place at the small of her back, drawing her body closer to his. At first, she was stiff in his arms, forcing them both to maintain the rigid distance dictated by their professional relationship, but the slow music and dim lighting lulled them closer together until there was no space left between them. Asha rested her cheek against Dax's chest, and he heard her breathing him in. They were embracing and swaying more than they were dancing, but they weren't alone in that position on the dance floor.
Dax gently rested his chin against Asha's temple, content even though the contact had started a low simmering in his blood.
"What's wrong?" Asha asked, her hold on him tightening.
He smiled down at her and shook his head. "Nothing," he whispered in her ear. She tucked herself back into him. He was so scared. He was totally in love with her. How the fuck had that happened?
The sudden knowledge made him dizzy.
His hold on her tightened, and she squeezed him back. It wasn't that anything was suddenly possible, or that the weight was being taken from his shoulders. Rather, that he'd found a different way of breathing through it all, and the desire to please other people had taken a backseat to the need of being able to live with himself. There was a new font of strength he'd tapped into, and it made the weight less noticeable. She'd done that.
He was happy with that. He was enough.
Dax could sense someone watching them, and he looked up to lock eyes with his grandfather. Rather than shrink under the older man's gaze as he'd been doing from habit for years, Dax refused to look away. The unfamiliar thing in his grandfather's eyes was still there, and he still didn't know what it was. Or maybe it was the champagne talking. Maybe Gramps had simply let himself get caught up in the festive air of the wedding and was actually letting himself enjoy things for a change.
The song ended and Asha pulled away, the warmth that had been between them cooling, and leaving Dax with the feeling that something was missing. He clung to her hand and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Interested in taking a walk? It's a bit warm in here."
"Sure. Let me get my shawl."
While he waited for Asha, he sidled up to Echo.
"What's up, sis?" he asked, startling her. He watched her face shift into what he thought of as "show mode". A strained smile and tired crinkling near her eyes. She looked tired, and not just because of the stress of the day—there was something else causing her cracks to show.
"Nothing," she said, dismissively. "Just…the usual, you know. Bryce is married now. Makes me wonder which of us they'll be pushing to settle down next," she teased half-heartedly. "Probably you, since you're…well…you."
He scoffed. "Me? I'm a notorious player with a reputation to uphold," he countered, his words sounding hollow even to his own ears. "I'm the troublemaker who can't be trusted not to screw up my own life—I certainly can't be trusted not to screw up someone else's, too."
Echo laughed. "Please. You're coming into your own now, and everyone can see it."
"You don't have to worry about coming into your own," Dax told her. "You've been here for a while, haven't you?"
Her next laugh was more of a cough. "Yup—that's the job of the only daughter, isn't it? Take care of things because the boys can't be trusted to think of anyone but themselves? It's about time you all caught up to me." She drained the rest of her champagne.
Dax noticed her gaze kept finding its way back to their parents.
"Is everything all right with Dad?" he asked, watching her tense up before cocking her head to one side.
"He's just tired, is all. The company's been keeping him busy. When Bryce got hurt and it wasn't clear he'd be able to play again, Dad talked himself into bringing Bryce on. Bryce, of course, had different plans, and Dad's still got all that company stuff on his plate. Having to deal with all the wedding stuff hasn't helped," Echo rambled. "He'll be fine, though. It's under control."
"I didn't realize he had to do so much for the wedding," Dax said, studying his sister. Her stance indicated there was something off about what she said. He couldn't believe she was outright lying to him, so maybe she wasn't as reassured or certain about what might be going on as she wanted to believe.
"Bryce and Tami took care of a lot of the details, but they couldn't be here in person for much of it, obviously. Dad and Mom and I stepped up and stood in for them a bit where they needed us to." She shrugged. "Now, is there something else you're interested in picking my brain about, or are you just trying to avoid your date?"
"She's…" He started to say she wasn't his date, but that wasn't entirely true—nor did he want it to be true. "I'm not sure what she is," he finally admitted.
"She's good for you," Echo told him, matter-of-factly. "Like Tami's good for Bryce." She nodded to where the newlyweds were wrapped around each other, foreheads pressed together as they danced in a tight circle, oblivious to everyone else around them.
"She is," Dax agreed. "But I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that."
Echo shrugged. "You'll figure it out."
"What makes you so sure?"
"You wanted to follow in Gramps' footsteps and take on football," she pointed out. "None of the rest of us had the courage to try that."
"What about you with the running? He did that, too."
"He didn't love it the way he loved football. I know it's been hard on you—he's been hard on you. But look at you now. Like I said—you'll figure it out."
Asha appeared with her wrap draped around her shoulders. "There you are. Lost sight of you along the wall for a bit, there. Hi, Echo."
"Asha." Echo grinned at her. "What do you think so far?"
"It's lovely. So beautiful. Still, it's getting a bit warm in here, so we were going to head out for a walk and some fresh air. Wanna come…?"
Echo flashed a grin to Dax, who shot daggers back before she laughed. "That's okay. I haven't been out dancing as much as the two of you."
"We'll see you around again, I'm sure," Dax said as he moved to Asha's side. He ushered her through the door, into the chill air of early evening.
Finding their way outside was easy, but with the sun having set so early, it was impossible to find their way around the grounds.
"Didn't you grow up near here or something?" Asha teased. "Shouldn't you be familiar with all the ins and outs of the club?" Her affectation was enough to have them both laughing.
"Yeah, well, this place wasn't exactly our playground," he explained. "Now the grounds at the big house… Those I still know like the back of my hand. I could be blindfolded and find my way around there with only minimal destruction. I snuck in and out so many times…"
"But there would still be some destruction…"
"Well, sure. I'm taller and broader than I was then," he said, puffing out his chest as she laughed. "My gauge for the distances is bound to be a bit off."
"There's light that way," Asha pointed. "Why don't we go investigate? It could be a garden, maybe…"
They hurried along the brick path to find themselves in an illuminated area.
"Or the parking lot," she grumbled.
"If we can find the car, we can at least get in and get warm."<
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"The whole point of this little walk was to cool off," she reminded him, her teeth beginning to chatter audibly. She pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders just as they found the car where the valet had parked it.
Shit, now or never. He just prayed he didn't crash and burn.
"I'm tired of trying to play it cool when it comes to you," he blurted out.
She slowed beside him, and he turned to make sure she was still there. He'd been waiting to get this out. Waiting to tell her. He braced himself.
She stepped forward and rose on her toes to kiss him.
"Me too," she breathed against his lips when she broke away to catch her breath.
He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her warmth against him and enfolding her in his. She melted into him for a moment before finally pulling back.
"So you said something about a car and getting warm?" She took his hand and led him past the rows of parked vehicles. She stopped in front of the rental she'd driven to and from the church earlier that day, pausing at the door to fish the keys from her clutch.
Dax moved in so that she was backed against the side of the car. "It's not that cold out," he insisted, pressing himself against her, sharing his warmth with her. She turned to face him, wincing as her backside met the cold metal of the car.
"You had other ideas for warming me up?" She said with a sly smile.
He dropped his forehead to hers. "Jeez, I want you. But not in the backseat of a car. My timing sucks."
"No. Your timing is perfect."
The moment Asha's lips pressed against his, Dax took over the kiss. She wanted him too. And she tasted so damn good. Angling his head, he kissed her deeper, as he tucked her flush against him, needing her closer.
Dax braced her against the car and cupped her face, his senses going into complete and total overload. She was everything perfect he'd been waiting for.