by Joe McNally
‘Well, she acts like one sometimes…Dil, I’ve nothing against Vita, but I am going nowhere near this catfight. End of story.’
‘Okay.’
‘Give my love to Prim,’ I smiled.
‘Let me know when you’re out.’
‘I will. And you let me know the schedule for the first wrestling bout between your women.’
‘Not funny, Eddie. Not funny at all,’ and he set off back along the ward, his boots sending their echo off the hard walls.
A minute later, the blonde nurse was at my bedside, ‘I hope you didn’t mind seeing your visitor out of hours. He said it was important.’
‘Not at all.’
She watched me, ‘Seems a nice man…’
‘If you’re hunting for his name it’s Dil Grant. He’s a racehorse trainer. Before that he did a lot of things, not many of them sensible.’
‘He does seem to have something about him…a kind of presence.’
‘He does. Presence of person. No presence of mind, unfortunately.’
‘You don’t seem to like him much.’
‘I like him an awful lot. He’s very likeable and that’s where he finds most of his trouble. If you’re interested, I’ll let him know.’
She took a longing look back down the ward and half-nodded.
‘How are you at wrestling?’ I said.
3
Friday was discharge day. Mave was due to pick me up at nine. I waited in the bright cold, pacing the 18 flagstones between the two columns at the front entrance.
At 9.10 I was still pacing, chilled by the north wind. I reached for my phone, then saw the old silver Volvo turn in through the gates, chugging toward a parking bay. I picked up my bag and started walking as Mave got out.
Halfway to the car, I heard a shout from behind. I thought it was one of the hospital staff.
I turned.
A scrawny man in a short khaki jacket and jeans was limping toward me. Only when he stopped in front of me did my memory bank hazard a guess, ‘Ben?’
He nodded and smiled. His teeth were in ruins and his skin was like soft rice paper on the bones of his face. He saw my shock, ‘Eddie, I’m sorry. I’m dry now. Been dry for three years.’
I don’t know where my tears sprang from. They welled and ran down my cheeks and I swallowed sobs as I opened my arms. Ben moved forward in small steps, like a child, ‘Ben! Jesus! Ben!’ I said as I held him, afraid to hug in case I broke him. Some of my tears ran down the neck of his thin shirt and he said quietly, ‘I’m sorry, Eddie. I didn’t think it would be like this or I wouldn’t have come. I’m sorry, mate,’ and he hugged me, surprising me with the strength in his bony arms.
The emotion had rolled over me so suddenly I felt embarrassed as I took a step back, still holding Ben’s shoulders. He was trying to smile while not showing me his wasted teeth. On another day it would have been comical. I became aware of Mave standing at my shoulder. ‘I’m sorry…Mave, this is a very old, very dear friend of mine who I thought was dead, Ben Searcey. Ben, Mave’s my friend too.’
They smiled at each other and shook hands. Mave’s look asked me if I was okay. I nodded, smiling. Ben shivered. ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘get in the car, Mave’ll turn the heater on.’ I led him and sat him in the front, close to the warm vents.
I moved to the centre of the back seat. Ben half-turned, still trying to smile, to reassure me, ‘I’m sorry, Ben, I don't know where that outburst came from. It must have shocked you. I’d heard you were dead. I thought you were dead.’
‘Everybody says that, Eddie, don’t worry. I’m fine. This is day twelve-twenty-one without a drink. Tomorrow will be twelve-twenty-two. That’s how I run things now. I’m doing all right.’
‘Are you being treated here?’ I asked.
‘Never been here before in my life. I came to see you. They showed that race on the news, that race that put you in here, and I thought…well, to be honest, I thought I’d come and see if you’d help me. It’s not money or anything.’
I reached to touch his arm, ‘Ben, you could have my last penny. Of course I’ll help you, what is it?’
‘I wondered if you’d be a character witness for me at a children’s panel hearing next week. I’m trying to get my girl back, my daughter.’
‘Alice?’
He forgot his teeth this time and smiled wide, ‘How come you remember her name?’
‘I remember her well, Ben, very well. She used to shout “Yeehaa” all the time in the press room when she was about five, didn’t she?’
He laughed, ‘She did. She heard a gang of punters yelling their horse home and she ran around everywhere for weeks after that shouting Yeehaa and whipping at herself as though she was winning the National.’
‘She was a funny kid. How is she?’
His smile dimmed, ‘I put her through some tough times, but I couldn’t be prouder of her if she was the queen. She’s been in a dozen children’s homes, kept running away, but I finally talked her into staying put long enough for me to have a chance of getting her back.’
‘How old is she now, Ben?’
‘She’s thirteen. She’d fight dragons for you, for anybody…that’s been half the trouble. But we’re nearly there now. I’ve been wracking what’s left of my memory to try and come up with two or three people who’d speak for me at the hearing, then I saw you on the telly.’
‘Listen,’ I said, ‘there’d be plenty of your old mates would walk through fire for you. Want me to find you some more for this hearing? How many do you need?’
He waved it away, smiling, and I found myself growing used to the tiny smashed battlements that were his teeth. ‘I’ve got a proper ace up my sleeve, Eddie, queerest thing. I was coming back from visiting Alice the other day, got off the train at Lime Street and I heard somebody shouting my name. At first I couldn’t see anybody, with all the crowds moving, but then, as they cleared, there was just me and one man on the platform, and I recognized him right away, which wouldn’t be hard given the poor bugger’s face. He’d had even more plastic surgery done since-‘
‘Monty Bearak?’
‘Monty Bearak! You got it! Hadn’t seen him since I got pissed in his box at Aintree, years back, and didn’t half get a shock when he came over. The booze must have blanked me out on just how much damage that accident did. His face is like a big blob of play-doh, just sitting on his collar like it didn’t belong there. Tell you what it made me think of, you know the cardboard cutouts at the seaside you stick your head through for a photo? It was like someone had plopped this big pumpkin face on Monty’s immaculate suit. Couldn’t believe it. You seen him lately?’
I nodded. ‘I see him pretty regularly. He’s got a box on most courses and goes racing nearly every day. And he’s Sir Monty now, by the way, for services to Merseyside charities, so if he’s coming to speak for you at the hearing, you’re a certainty to get Alice back.’
‘They gave him a knighthood? He never said a thing. There you go. Well, that’s another piece of good news for me, Eddie, the first one being that you’ve come out of that fall all right. Never seen anything like that in twenty years on the track.’
‘Me neither.’
‘What happened?’
‘Nobody knows.’
‘I was telling Alice about it, I said, that horse must have had a brain haemorrhage, or something like a stroke to have behaved like that. I couldn’t believe it. Thank god you were all right.’
‘Well there’s not much wrong with the horse’s brain. She’s back in her box as though nothing happened. Something wrong with my brain, though, wanting to get back riding.’
That smile again, ‘Some things never change, Eddie.’
‘Listen, Mave is driving us home, up to the lakes. Come with us, spend a day or two.’
‘I’d love to. Sounds the very thing. But I can’t miss my meetings.’
‘AA?’
’Saved my life.’
‘Where are you living?’
�
�On a council estate in North Liverpool, not far from Aintree. They call it Deadwood. Rough, but it’s where Alice wants to be. She’s running a campaign there. I’ll let her tell you all about it on Wednesday. I’m working on her so she doesn’t start preaching it to the panel,’ another wide smile.
‘Did you drive here?’
‘Got the bus. Can’t get insurance, Eddie, too many DUIs. They want about a grand a week to insure me. I do have fun though when they phone me up, you know, those cold callers. Would I be interested in insurance? Sure, I would! Have you got a few minutes now? I got all the time in the world!’ He laughed, and I was struck by the purity of his happiness and I supposed he had indeed been dead to all intents and purposes, and maybe he was just glorying in this resurrection, ragged face, ruined teeth and all.
‘We’ll drive you home,’ I said.
‘You will not! You’re convalescing, my friend, and I’ve got a free bus pass. I’ll see you on Wednesday, eh?’
‘At the hearing? Sure. Where is it?’
‘Liverpool city centre. I’ll email you what you need.’
’Mave, you got a pen and paper?’
Mave flipped the sun visor and unzipped a pocket in the organizer strapped there. I wrote down my contact details for Ben.
‘Thanks, Eddie. Drop you a line tonight.’
’Sure you don’t want a lift?’
He palmed away the offer, ‘Nah! Bus is fine. You meet a few characters, watch the world going by. The good world.’
I got out and opened the door for him and we hugged again. ‘You’re a dear friend, Eddie.’
‘You were always one to me, Ben. Always. I’ll never forget what you did.’
He stepped back, still holding my forearms, ‘Get away, you’d have done the same for me.’
I saw again that fresh, clean happiness, growing accustomed now to it glowing from such a worn and battered face, ‘See you on Wednesday,’ I said, ‘And Alice. Tell her we’ll do a Yeehaa after the hearing.’
Ben backed away, thumb raised, smile open, ‘We will, Eddie, we will.’ He ducked to look at Mave and raised that thumb again, ‘Nice to meet you, Mavis!’
‘And you,’ she called.
I leant on the open door, watching him limp toward the exit. He shoved his hands in his pockets the way a schoolboy does, and his head came up and he looked around as though trying to take in everything in a new place. Ben Searcey. Reborn.
4
Mave kept her visor down and I lowered mine and pulled the old stained seatbelt across, ‘Home, Mavis!’ I said, laughing.
‘Mavis,’ she said quietly, and grinned, ‘he’s some character.’
‘A hell of a man. I’m ashamed to say I’d forgotten about him. He was really well known years ago, big time sports reporter. He’d started in racing, that was his first love. Once he branched out into other sports, he won all sorts of awards. But nothing went to his head. How you just saw him was pretty much the way I’d always found him. Straight to the point. Humble. Even in drink, he was never troublesome or aggressive.’
Mave said, ‘Might not have been troublesome for others but he looks a wreck.’
‘He was a wreck. Cost him his job, family, home…’
‘Shame...’ Mave nodded slowly.
‘I know. Seems like he has a chance here, though. Will you come with me, to this tribunal thing, this panel?’
‘If you like.’
‘Good. It should make me seem more, well, human.’
‘I’m not sure anything could do that.’
‘Very funny. You know what I mean. If I’m to give Ben a character reference, well, it’ll look as though I’m more of a family man if you’re there.’
‘Maybe we should hire a couple of nice kids. Freckled ones. With fixed smiles.’
‘Mave, this is serious. It sounds like Alice has been in and out of care homes and foster homes for a long time.’
‘Where’s her mother?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Did you ever meet her?’
‘I did. Met her at an awards dinner. Seemed a nice woman. I think she was called Alice, too.’
‘I wonder what’s happened to her.’
‘Well, if Ben doesn’t tell us, it’ll probably come out on Wednesday at this hearing.’
‘Why don’t you just ring and ask him? If you’re to be a character witness, maybe the panel will ask you about her.’
‘I can’t just ring him up and say tell me about your wife.’
‘Why not?’
‘Men don’t do emotional conversations, just practical ones.’
She looked across and said, ‘Like the practical one back there when he had you in tears?’
‘God, that was strange…Can’t remember the last time I cried. I think it was just everything that’s happened since Saturday, and worry about Kim. Then being back in the fresh air again…It surprised me as much as it surprised Ben.’
‘He probably thought you’d taken to the booze and gone all maudlin on him.’
‘Maybe. Ben will have seen enough tears in his lifetime. I’m glad we’ve got a chance to help him. Ben was the only reporter who stood by me when I got warned off. Anybody else I called didn’t want to know. Ben didn’t think twice. He even tried to help me find the guy who framed me.’
‘But there would have been a story in it for him, surely?’
‘The opposite. His editor had written it off as a lost cause. Ended up costing Ben his job because he wouldn’t walk away when they told him to.’
‘Proper friend, right enough. Who’s the other guy you mentioned, the plastic surgery guy?’
‘Monty Bearak, Sir Monty Bearak.’
‘A man of means, racing every day. Inherited money?’
I tried to recall what Monty did. He’d been no more than a nodding acquaintance of mine. ‘No, I don’t think so. I believe he’s one of these money market players, a currency trader or some kind of finance guy. He’s better known for charitable work on Merseyside, helping kids. I’m pretty sure that’s what he got the knighthood for.’
’So what did Ben do for Sir Monty that’s made him want to drop everything, well, everything knights do on a Wednesday?’
I smiled. ‘I’m not sure. I think they came from the same area, or were at the same school or something. They’re both Merseysiders, anyway. Monty’s always been into racing. He’ll have bumped into Ben hundreds of times. You heard Ben say Monty had invited him to his box at Aintree, though that turned out to be no favour, I suppose.’
‘No favour? It sounds positively cruel.’
‘Well, I’m not sure how much Monty knew about Ben’s boozing habits back then. It’s not as if you ask someone to fill in a questionnaire before inviting them in for free champagne.’
Mave nodded and settled to her customary peering over the dashboard driving position, and we travelled in silence until Kim came to my mind once more. I said, ‘Any word from our family in Oz?’
‘Kim and Marie think it’s too hot. Sonny loves it.’
‘Did you speak to Kim?’
‘Marie. She Skyped last night.’
‘I’ll ping Kim later. What’s the time difference?’
‘Eleven hours ahead.’
‘I’ll try him about ten. Odd to think it’ll be tomorrow morning there.’
She said, ‘I still haven’t told them about the coma, or even the fall. Might be best if you don’t mention it.’
‘I won’t.’
We went a mile in silence, then Mave said, ‘You still worried Kim might stay over there?’
‘I suppose I am, if I’m honest with myself. At his age, it’ll seem like the whole world suddenly opened up.’
‘He’ll be fine, Eddie. He’ll be home by August, they all will.’
‘I know that was the plan, but plans don’t always work out.’
She reached to put her small hand in mine, ‘All will be well.’ That was a phrase we used on each other. I nodded and watched the road twist away as it c
limbed into the hills.
5
The snow came just after dark. Mave and I lived behind the farmhouse in a small cottage. We spent most of our time in The Snug, a room I’d replicated from my previous home in Lambourn. It was big enough for a short sofa and a fireside chair. The Snug was thickly carpeted and we’d added a spark-proof rug by the stove. Three walls were of stone, the other of plate glass, an expensive indulgence, and a bitch to keep clean, but always worth it.
We had views down to Ullswater, the long lake filling the narrow valley between Patterdale and Pooley Bridge. On nights like this, the valley sucked the snow in.
I said, ‘I’ll turn off these lights, and switch on the ones outside and we can watch the snow.’
‘Best tie me down first, in case I’m overcome with excitement,’ Maven said.
‘Very funny. I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day.’
She eased back into the sofa, sitting beside me, gazing through the window. The west wind swept the snow past and drove it away into the night. I said, ‘It’s a bit like going fast in reverse in a snowstorm…In a car, I mean.’
‘I suppose.’
After a few moments of silent watching, Mave said, ‘You were going to ping Kim.’
I went to the small desk that held Mave’s laptop. ’Says here he’s offline.’
‘Try FaceTime. He’ll get it on his phone.’
‘Will it cost him?’
‘Does it matter? Send him a hundred dollars.’
I clicked on his name, and six rings later Kim’s healthy, smiling face loomed at me, ‘Uncle Eddie! I thought you’d be in bed!’
‘Hey, I’m not that old that I can’t keep my eyes open past ten ‘o clock. And what’s with the uncle all of a sudden?’
He laughed, ‘Just winding you up.’
‘You look well.’ I said, ‘Settled in?’
‘I don’t know about settling, Eddie. You wouldn’t believe the size of the place. Look…’
The image zoomed and buffered then steadied on the vastness of a flat green land. ‘Where are the sheep?’ I asked.
‘On the south side. I’ll show you!’