by Amber Burns
I watched both of the older men sit back and just look at me like I had cut them off somehow. I wasn’t sure how their reactions would be, but I could feel Dylan now close to me. Her hand squeezed mine, it seemed she liked the idea of me giving up the danger of what I did.
“You want out all?” Tillman looked like he didn’t take me seriously.
I started to answer, but Wilson cut in, “One more. Do one more run, and I will let you step down as Enforcer. Unless you want out altogether?”
I hesitated because it would be so easy to step away. But… I didn’t know where that would lead me. I grimaced because I was sure the indecision was obvious on my face. While I may have been a loner even in a group of men that were supposed to be my brothers, I wasn’t quite ready to break off from them. I had friends, right?
A hand fell on my shoulder, and I glanced back at Dylan.
“I need to get ready for work. Can you take me back to my car and… we can talk about this? Soon?”
She hadn’t spoken quietly, so Wilson was able to catch what she said.
“I assume you’re doing this because what I said last night. Take care of your woman and think about shit before you make any rash decisions. I can wait. I need to make sure there’s more coverage for you on this next ride. You let me know what you want, and then we’ll go from there.”
It was diplomatic, and even, there was no showing that he was pissed at me for my sudden change. He should be, my lack of caring for my own safety was part of the reason I was good at what I did. I was willing to step into danger without caring about my own neck. One good lay and I was ready to set that aside. I nodded at his suggestion and turned to press Dylan out of the little office.
“Van Cleave is stuck in the hospital,” Tillman broke through my incriminating thoughts. “Pay the man a visit, let him know what you want to do.”
I nodded because I needed to do that. I had Dylan out the door of the clubhouse faster than we went into it. She had said she needed to get ready, I couldn’t keep her and get her into trouble.
“This,” her voice sounded hurried. “Is what you do? He said you were an ‘enforcer’?” She dug her heels in and made it an effort to lead her back to my truck. “What does that mean? What is all this?”
“This,” I stopped when we were in the parking lot. “Is what I do. I am apart of this club, and my job in it is to Enforce the rules set out by the founding members. When someone steps out of line, I kick their ass back into it.” I took a breath, “When we met I came into the hospital was because some jackass that stepped out of line wasn’t willing to take his licks and got his friends to jump me.”
“So, I guess that answers the question as to whether or not it’s illegal,” she frowned and looked at our joined hands. “And you’re ready to give it all up? For what?” Her head bowed slightly, and she didn’t seem to be willing to meet my gaze. “Is this for me?”
“I want you,” I said softly. “If I’m stupid and I keep going like I’m going I’m going to get dead quick,” I felt self-conscious admitting this to her, and I could take in her expression as I spoke. “If I want something I’m not going to get it while I’m dead, am I?” I grunted and shook my head, “Am I even gonna get it what I want?”
I still couldn’t look at her.
“What about what I want?” She had taken the same low tone that I had.
She opening up the truck door. I looked and watched her get into the driver’s seat.
“What do you want?” my heart felt like it was in my throat and it was a struggle to get the words out.
“I want,” there was something in her voice that made me look up. “I want to explore this,” she motioned between us. “But you not being who you are isn’t going to help matters. You’re a dark person, Jeremiah. Looking at you the first time I thought you were dangerous, I wasn’t going to call you. Latisha kind of…” she flushed and looked away from me. “She kind of pressured me to do it. When you sounded pained, I couldn’t keep from coming over.” I watched her as she paused for a beat. “I didn’t intend for it to go as far as it did or to come back for seconds or thirds.”
“What about fourths? Fifths?” I could help but smirk at her now, “Probably more than that if I have my way.”
“What about my way? What about what I want?”
“What do you want?” I asked curiously, and I had to restrain myself from coming to her to kiss her. I could probably fuck her in that truck. The idea of ramming into her while she was stretched across the bench seat was too much. I came to the open door that separated us and tugged her legs around, so she faced me. I wedged my way between her thighs, even if it didn’t put our hips together. “Tell me what you want.”
I watched her eyes darken, and she got a distracted look on her face the closer I got.
“I like you as you are,” her hands came to cup my face, and the sudden lust between us cooled to something else. It wasn’t something I had a name to. “The only thing I would want to change is your penchant for getting hurt. And maybe you getting shot at a little less?”
Her fingers stroked my cheeks, and I closed my eyes, turning just enough to press a kiss to her palm. Lust was still there, as my tongue swept out to taste her, but it didn’t have the sudden urgency that it did before.
“When’s your day off?” The idea of laying down with her and just spending the day with her wrapped around me sounded blissful.
She had a wistful expression on her face, and I knew she was probably thinking the same thing I was.
“In two days,” her fingers drifted up into my hair again. “It okay if I give you a call when I get off tomorrow morning?”
I nodded without a thought.
“Plan to stay. No more trying to sneak out.” I patted her thigh. “Let’s get rolling before I lay you out on the seat.”
Her eyes flashed, and she pulled away, reluctant. It sent fire through me, it made it obvious that she wanted me. I stepped away and gave her the keys.
“I’ll be right behind you.”
“You keep talking like that, and I’ll be late for the first time in years. God,” she huffed out a complaint. “I’m going to need another shower when I get home.”
I couldn’t help the smirk that I wore as I walked back to my bike. Her admission, the look in her eyes when I told her what I wanted to do. It was enough to give me a swagger, I went on without a care about the fact that now I was in too deep with this girl.
18
After ensuring Dylan got on her way without a hitch, and securing a kiss that made me want to make her late, I decided to do as Tillman suggested. I found my way in the hospital without injury to pay Van Cleave a visit. I cruised through the ER first but found that Dylan hadn’t made it in just yet. Why cruise through? I don’t know. An irrational hope of seeing her at work, I think, when I wasn’t the patient.
Van Cleave wasn’t in ICU, his wound wasn’t life threatening, and I wasn’t entirely sure why he would still be in the hospital.
“I’m going to have a problem wiping my ass,” he snorted as he laid back in bed. “You’ll help with that, right?”
“Fuck off,” I grunted as I leaned against the wall of the room he was in. “When do you get out?”
I asked it like he was in prison, hospitals seemed that way to me. Though, people went their voluntarily most of the time.
“I wish I could,” he looked mournful. “I’m a righty, man. I can’t fuck my left hand. It’s like cheating!” He brought his left hand to his brow and started to massage his temples. “Doctor said another day, just to be safe. They’re all asking personal questions like I can’t take care of myself.”
“If you been stuck like this before?”
“I’ve broken an arm once or twice,” he admitted with a straight face. “Eventually, I’ll get bored and give in to give lefty a chance.”
“Goddamn, man,” I shook my head. “If you need help I’ll be here. But fuck you if you think I’m helping you get off.”
“Aw,” he stuck out his bottom lip. “Bro, you got me. Them feels.” He chuckled lightly and sat up. “That why you here?”
“I came to check up on you and make sure you’re alright,” I admitted as I tilted my head to look at him. “Not a lot I could do to keep you from getting hit.”
“It was a lucky fucking shot that he got me over the vest,” he grimaced. “Shit hurt like a mother fucker. First time being shot and I’d like to say it was my last.” He flicked his gaze to the door then fidgeted with the controller that doubled as a call button to his nurse. “Anything happen because of it?”
“Not yet,” I shrugged. “I debriefed Wilson. We’ll plan what we do from here. I pitched the idea of stopping it before it started. I don't know that it’ll be done.”
“It could be risky,” he grunted with a straight face. “It'd take time to plan and set up. The end result though could be managed easy. Talk to Martinez, get his take on it.”
“That's a good idea,” I grunted.
“Enough business talk,” he sighed and started rubbing at his bandaged shoulder. “Your girl got any nurse friends she could hook me up with? I'm gonna need someone to take care of me while I'm down and out.”
“You mean to tell me you've not got one of these nurses under your thumb? I thought you had skills with the ladies. What happened to that?”
“They have a male nurse giving me a sponge bath later. These assholes were on to me the minute I walked in the door,” he said with a pitiful expression.
“Maybe if you smile pretty he’ll go home with you,” I couldn’t fight the grin on my face. Especially when he glared at me.
“That shit ain't funny.”
“Dylan’s ER. You probably won't see her at all. Besides,” I sobered my expression. “She’s spoken for and won't be going home with you.”
“Officially laying claim now? She know she’s yours or are you just saying this so I won't lay on the charm when she meets me?” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me.
Like he stood a chance.
“Yea,” I pushed off the wall. “She knows it, too. Don't even try it. You need someone to bring you home?”
“Wilson said he'd take care of me,” the humor left his expression, and he grimaced. “Bring me a burger, though. I can't live off this healthy shit for much longer. I'm gonna have flashbacks about the mess hall and gastro. I need real food!”
As if she heard him, a little orderly with a hairnet and white scrubs on came in.
“Suppertime.”
I heard him groan, as if pained, and I took the moment to duck out. I'd find a way to sneak the fucker a burger before I headed home for the night.
19
I spent the rest of my night wondering what I wanted from the Boneyard Brotherhood. I had gotten the rush I wanted, the excitement without the grunt work that came with being in the Marines. I got the means to let myself loose when I needed to. Did I want to give up the rush just because serious trouble was on the horizon? I couldn't remember any other time I had been concerned about the consequences of what we did. I had been eager for a confrontation before, I was ready to reclaim that stretch of highway as ours. Now, I was worried about what that would bring to our door. I was worried about what these other guys might be willing to do in this pissing contest. They didn't have the moral compass that the military drilled into the heads of the killing machines it created.
That should get the fire burning in me. I should be riding out there to lead the charge of putting these fuckers in their place. What changed? Why was shit suddenly different?
Laying in my bed, I glanced at the time trying to figure out how much time I had left until Dylan got off and came to me. I couldn't wait to have her against me and wrapped around me. Thinking about her had me realizing what had changed. Dylan had changed things. I started caring about what happened to the club and to me after the first time I fucked her. When she took up residence in my head, I started to grow concerned about what would happen. The consequences started to get my attention.
And the need to be violent wasn't a driving factor. I didn't need to get the tension out by pounding it out on a punching bag. She had changed so much, but how? The questions consumed me, keeping me awake when I should have gone to sleep. How could I get this far without realizing what was going on?
‘In love and you don't even realize it,’ I repeated the words I had heard.
Van Cleave knew, so did Wilson. Was I so fucking obvious to everyone knew what the fuck was wrong with me, but me? How could be so fucking blind?
What do I do?
That question plagued me for the rest of the night. At some point, I managed to get to sleep. It was restless tossing and turning. So, when there was a knock at my door, I answered it in a less than welcoming manner.
“You did tell me to come over,” she had her head tilted to one side, and I could tell just looking at her she was just as tired as I felt.
“I did,” I motioned her in, and she complied. “I’m wore out, you look wore out. Let’s just sleep.”
“I should be disappointed,” she led the way into my bedroom. “But, I’m not going to argue. You had me so keyed up before I had to go to work, but I just want to sleep.”
“Maybe,” I grumbled as I laid down. “You’ll make it easier for me to sleep.”
“How would I do that?”
She dropped the bag she had on her shoulder and began to strip. I watched, and I couldn’t help the interest that it drew. My cock hardened and I reconsidered my idea of the two of us just sleeping together.
“You calm shit down,” I said without thinking. “C’mere.”
I grabbed her wrist and tugged her down. She kept her bra and panties on, fair considering I still had my boxers on.
“Do I?” she curled up against my side. “Is that a good thing?”
I grunted and turned so I could grind my erection against her stomach.
“All the shit is calm except for one thing.”
“What about sleep?” She laughed a little, but then I felt her lips against my neck, and the exhaustion that had been riding me seemed to leave me in favor for the feel of her lips on my skin.
“Sleep after,” I growled and shifted onto my back, letting the feel of her lips and tongue sweep away my earlier worries.
20
After another day of waking up with Dylan in my bed and the bliss of her just staying there with me, I decided I wouldn’t do anything about how I felt about her. She didn’t question me about my feelings, she just seemed to enjoy the indulging in me and letting me indulge in her. She told me before that she wanted to be loved. I wasn’t sure how I would show that to her, how she would know for sure how I felt. And because I didn’t know the depth of her feelings for me I opted to keep that bit of knowledge to myself. Would things change if she knew how I felt? I wasn’t ready to find out.
After she had left for her shift, I decided it was time get back to the Boneyard and see what was decided. It was time to see what Wilson and Tillman had to say after the last time I was there. I took my motorcycle to the club, basking in the sound of the road and the feel of the wind on my face even with the dropping temperatures. I walked into the clubhouse and back to the office where I was sure they were. I knocked and then pushed the door in without waiting for an answer. Both men looked at me curiously but didn’t seem to bat an eye at the fact that I came in without an invitation. I took the chair next to Tillman and sat to face Wilson.
They had stopped talking the moment I knocked on the door, and I waited for them to either restart their conversation or to start a new one. I eyed them both as I shifted in the chair to get comfortable. It didn’t take long for Tillman to growl at me.
“Did you want something?”
“I was told,” I said without missing a beat. “That we would decide what to do about the Crazy Aces and how our ride through was handled. I offered a solution as to how to take care of them, Van Cleave’s idea. I want to see where that goes.”
“Point taken,” I grunted.
“I want,” he went on looking between Tillman and me. “To do another ride through. Make a clear challenge. The ride through group would need to be bigger, well armed and protected. I’m assuming because the two jackasses that stopped you and Van Cleave are dead that they don’t realize you had vests on.”
“Vests,” Tillman interjected. “Aren’t one hundred percent. Van Cleave is an example of that.”