"He goes to the house every morning to get his children ready for school. He takes them to school; he spends the weekend with them. He's a good dad," Nadine offered in his defense, "a very good father. I have never seen anyone love their children more. So I surmise that in this case it's the wife that's the cause of the problem. Not him. Don't you?"
Tenaj grunted. "I don't know about that."
"You are so quick to defend the wife aren't you?" Nadine asked as they headed toward the entrance to the store.
When they opened the door they saw that the inside was completely done in red carpet. There was even a section at the back that was set up like a red carpet event with different clothing brand names printed on a backdrop.
The place looked and smelled exclusive.
A girl who was dressed in an expensive looking cut jacket suit approached them with a smile on her face. Nadine might not be that familiar with the trends in clothing, but she could see that the material wasn’t cheap.
"Hi, I am Jaya. How may I help?"
Tenaj smiled at Jaya, "I called Ashley earlier concerning outfits for a tour."
"Oh, please have a seat," Jaya said, leading them to some plush chairs in front of a wall length mirror.
"Nice to meet you, Miss Langley," Jaya said, looking at Nadine and nodding. She then hurried along the passageway.
Nadine's smile slipped as soon as Jaya turned away. She was feeling a teeny bit anxious to meet Brandon's wife.
She squeezed the end of the chair. How had she gotten so involved with Brandon? She had resolved to just be his friend, but her heart was not cooperating with her mind. Over the weeks she had realized that she was fooling herself into believing she could be a platonic friend. Brandon was so lovable. He was easy to talk to, and the truth was she found herself confessing things to him that she hadn't even told Tenaj, who was her best friend.
He was a listener but he talked to her too, about his family, his parents, his older sister Latoya, and his kids. He never spoke about Ashley, and she never asked.
He had not given her any indication that he thought of her as anything more than a friend. One or two times she had thought that she had caught him looking at her contemplatively, but that had been wishful thinking.
And then there was that time last week when they had gone to the Jazz Lounge to listen to a friend of hers sing. They had seen a couple from Brandon's church and he had introduced her as his friend, but he had kept a hand firmly clamped to her waist. It felt right. It felt a little more than friendly but maybe she was just oversensitive to these things, her overactive imagination wanting there to be more from him than there was.
Her first glimpse of Ashley Blake intruded upon her uncomfortable thoughts.
"Oh my word," she whispered, when she saw the statuesque woman with the honey-toned skin and the perfect body striding out to meet them.
"Told ya," Tenaj whispered. "Modelesque."
"Barbie doll," Nadine whispered back.
"Caramel Barbie," Tenaj chuckled, standing up to greet the perfectly turned out Ashley, who was dressed in a no-doubt expensive black dress. Nadine never paid attention to what people wore in terms of cost, but the thing fit Ashley like a glove, emphasizing every perfect contour of her body and highlighting her glowing skin. Ashley and Tenaj air-kissed in the totally fake manner that Nadine hated.
Nadine stood up too and smiled as Ashley turned to her and took her hand eagerly in a handshake. Her eyes, which were heavily eye-lashed and the color of pure warm honey, lit up when she saw her.
"It is not every day we have a celebrity in our store!" she said. Her voice had just the right hint of huskiness. "I am so excited. I would love if you could autograph something." She smiled, showing off perfect teeth.
Nadine smiled back, feeling a little less pretty than she was this morning. She was telling herself to snap out of it. She usually didn’t compare herself to other women, but Ashley Blake was stoking the green-eyed monster.
She listened as Ashley talked to Tenaj about the outfits. They followed her to a private room, where she had the outfits on hangers.
"So which city are you going to first?" Ashley asked excitedly, flipping her thick, almost sable black hair over her shoulders. Nadine was left wondering if her hair was real.
"Paris," Nadine smiled, still looking at Ashley's gleaming hair; if it was fake it was a very good fake.
"I envy you," Ashley said, not a hint of envy on her face. "I went to Paris four years ago and it was superb."
Nadine nodded. Had she gone with Brandon? She was burning to ask. She was never good at fishing for information but she made a paltry attempt anyway.
"They say it is a place for lovers; unfortunately, I'll be working. You must have had a great time with your, er...significant other."
Ashley shook her head. "Actually, I didn't go with my husband. It was a fashion week event and I went alone."
She stood up, as if the subject was not one she wanted to pursue any longer. "So you should try on this red dress." She handed a dress to Nadine. "Tenaj said that your concerts will be recorded, so you need to look great in your outfits."
Nadine nodded. "Only one night will be televised. There are quite a few other famous reggae acts joining us that night."
"Cool," Ashley said, "and then which other cities will you go to?"
Nadine pointed to Tenaj. "She is the best person to ask."
Ashley turned to Tenaj, who was trying her best to blend into the furniture and watching them interact.
Nadine went into the spacious dressing room and stood for a minute, just looking at herself in the mirror. Had she always been this short, her hair's natural curls so frizzy, her slim body so boyish?
"Snap out of it, Nadine." She whispered. "Snap out of it. She is his wife, the mother of his children. You are just a friend. Just a friend. No need to compare."
*****
When they left the store an hour later, Nadine was quiet.
"So?" Tenaj said as soon as they sat in the car.
"So she's effervescent, bubbly, drop-dead gorgeous," Nadine said mournfully. "She doesn't seem to be going through a breakup though," she added hopefully. "Maybe she doesn't love him and isn't hurting and is happy that he is gone."
"Another woman's trash is your treasure," Tenaj laughed and then sobered up when she saw Nadine wince. "Okay, sorry. That was uncalled for. I don't think Ashley would be crying and blabbering about a breakup. You are a client. She is very professional."
"I know." Nadine sighed. "Is that even her real hair?" She dragged her fingers through her short curls and looked in the overhead mirror.
"Yes," Tenaj said, looking at hers as well. "All hers. No fillers No weaves. I asked. She made me feel it down to her scalp."
"And that shape. I look like a boy compared to her."
Tenaj laughed. "Yes, she is very endowed breast-wise. She has four times the tits you have."
"And her butt is shapely, like she works out."
"Pilates," Tenaj replied, "She goes almost every day. She told me that she can't function without it."
"Okay, I get it." Nadine cut her eyes at Tenaj. "Rub it in. But it doesn't change the fact that she did something that made her husband unhappy. Her perfect, unblemished skin clearly could not save her marriage."
"Clearly," Tenaj said, "but what wouldn't I do for that hair?"
"And that shape," Nadine said on a sigh.
"Okay, enough of the moping and covetousness," Nadine said. "Where to next?"
"Next, we go to Jay Steele and confirm him or not. I am not going to be running around like a headless chicken getting things done for him."
"Okay," Nadine said absently. For some strange reason she was picturing Ashley walking down the church aisle. It had to be a church, because Brandon was a stickler for that kind of thing; she didn't see him getting married on a beach or any other venue. She imagined Ashley in her wedding finery, her hair bouncing on her shoulders as she glided down the aisle, smiling at Brandon with
plump lips.
She could see Brandon turning to her with a smile on his face, a look of love in his eyes. I’ll cherish you forever, Ashley, she imagined him saying.
Tenaj pinched her when they slowed down at a stoplight. "What?"
"What do you mean what?" Nadine asked, irritated.
"You groaned," Tenaj said. "Not feeling well?"
"Nope. I think I am jealous." Nadine groaned again. "I am going to have to stop hanging out with Brandon as a friend. I really don't think of him as one, and I don't think I can pretend any longer. I think I am falling for him."
Tenaj nodded. "I could have told you that. It's also a good idea to protect yourself. It's early days yet. If you nip this crush of yours in the bud, your problem will be solved in no time."
"So I won't call him or contact him while I am away for the three weeks on the tour. I won't care what he is doing for the Christmas holidays or anything like that."
"Good." Tenaj nodded again.
"I won't even think about him," Nadine said determinedly. "Not even once. I am going to actively find myself a guy that I can grow to love. There is more than one fish in the sea. This guy has to be single, no wife, no ex-wife, no kids no baggage."
"That's my girl." Tenaj gave her a thumbs-up. "Never... ever... ever... be anybody's rebound girl ever... ever."
"Yeah," Nadine said, "I got that, loud and clear."
Chapter Eight
Brandon was on his way from work Friday afternoon when Ashley called. He contemplated not answering the phone but he needed to pick up the children for the weekend and so far she had not raised a murmur when he went for them. This was his third weekend alone with them. They didn't seem to mind it. They liked the apartment so far. He had kept them occupied with church and then two Sundays on a row he had brought them over to his mother's place. They always loved their grandma's place and cooking. So the arrangement was working out for all of them so far.
He again wondered what Ashley wanted as the phone trilled again. He picked it up and answered gruffly. He had not quite managed to reign in his bitterness when he spoke to Ashley, and he didn't expect to do so anytime soon. So many things reminded him of her betrayal.
"Hey," Ashley said huskily, "is it okay if we talk this evening? My mother is in town and I wanted to go to her place for the weekend. She wants to see her grandkids."
Ashley and her mother had recently started building back their relationship after years of estrangement. She was slowly getting to know her grandchildren and though he wanted to protest, he would not.
Ashley's mother was a pretty decent person. Her mother was a believer and he was hoping that through contact with her Ashley could rediscover the relationship that she had once had with God.
He gripped the phone closely and said with a sigh, "I am close to your store. I'll stop by now."
"Cool," Ashley said and hung up. He met up on traffic on Waterloo Road but instead of his usual custom of turning on the radio and listening to a program, he decided to seriously talk to God instead.
He had talked to Him about his situation over the past few weeks but he had been a bit more accusatory than humble. He had asked God why on earth he had allowed him to get married to Ashley. She could not have been the right person for him. He had been thoroughly deceived by her? why had God allowed that to happen?
Surely Ashley had not been a real Christian. She had just visited church in order to hook him. The moment they got married, she had slowly started to wean herself from Bible study, evening devotions, and even wanting to go to church.
Their first argument had been about her not wanting to go to church. She had made up a million and one excuses and it had gotten to him and he had finally confronted her about it.
Not wanting to go to church was for him a symptom of an even greater problem. She was not interested in God anymore. Maybe she had never been.
As a Christian that had hurt him to the core. He had always wanted a wife who was God-fearing, especially since they had children. He wanted them to grow up as Christians and see Mommy and Daddy going to church together and being united. It had been his dream. Instead, what he got was Ashley.
He thought about it now, the first time he had seen her in church. He had noticed her the minute she had walked into the sanctuary with her thick wavy hair bouncing with every step she made. She was in a modest pink dress and a ridiculously tall shoes that had elongated her legs and made it seem as if they went on forever. She had stridden confidently toward the front pew behind an usher.
That day the church aisle had been her catwalk. He had admired her because she was beautiful, and then he had ignored her because he surmised that she was just a visitor, probably a party girl. She certainly looked the type.
When she had kept on coming to church and even Bible studies, he had felt optimistic that maybe he had read her wrong.
When she started participating he had been more than a little surprised that she was so knowledgeable about the Bible. Most of the unmarried guys at church had shown an interest in her by then, but she had seemed interested in him alone and he loved that and reveled in it. In a sense he had felt proud of the fact that Ashley had chosen him.
Pride goeth before a fall...and he had fallen. He had done the requisite counseling but he had already made up his mind to marry her. He could have waited. He should have waited.
Eight years later he could now see with hindsight that he had rushed into the marriage without knowing all the facts, like the glaring one: Ashley had sex with girls. That would have surely posted a red flag somewhere, and maybe he wouldn't have been as quick to jump into marriage with her.
He pulled up in front of the store after reminiscing about the several bad parts of his marriage. He realized after rehashing their problems that he was not in the frame of mind to face Ashley.
He entered the store with a frown on his face. It was fairly crowded. He headed to Ashley's office, waving to Jaya on his way there. The door was ajar and he went in. Ashley was on the phone. She looked up at him and smiled as if they didn't have a care in the world, as if he hadn't caught her in bed with Regina. As if all was well between them.
He scowled at her some more and noticed that her hands trembled a bit as she put down the phone. Good. He wanted her to fear him. He wanted her repentant.
She cleared her throat. "Well, um, hey again."
"Hey" was his laconic reply. "You look well," he said reluctantly. She really looked good today. It didn't move him much, though. Looks, he had quickly found out, could be deceiving. Especially hers.
"Thanks." She cleared her throat. "We were visited by a celebrity today. Nadine Langley."
Brandon stiffened. "Is that so?"
"Yes. She is using our outfits for her European tour. Isn't that something?" Ashley gushed.
"Okay." He didn't comment further. He was having a mixed bag of reactions to Nadine these days. On one hand she was the perfect person to help him forget the debacle that his life had become. He was determined to treat her as a friend, but on the other hand he realized that he was developing feelings for her.
Maybe his feelings were a side effect of his breakup with Ashley but sometimes he found himself wanting to kiss her, wishing that they were the ones together and not him and Ashley. The feelings had gotten so overwhelming over the past week that he was planning to move out of the apartment. He felt as if he had overstayed there. He was going to actively find himself another place on Monday.
Nadine was the opposite of Ashley in disposition. She was like a breath of fresh air. She was so easy to be around. She was calmer, sweeter, less self-conscious and...
"So what do you think, Brandon?" Ashley asked.
He zoned back in. "Sorry, I didn't get that?" Brandon murmured.
"I started seeing a Christian counselor on my own to work out some of my issues. Believe it or not, I realize that what is wrong with this marriage is me. I am not a good wife or mother."
Brandon leaned forward. "Say that again?"
"I am not a good wife or mother," Ashley said earnestly. "I know that and I am willing to change."
"Have you gotten rid of Regina," Brandon snarled "or are you still trying to make her happy?"
Ashley shuddered visibly. "I have gotten rid of her. She is no longer an issue."
"Really?" Brandon raised his eyebrows. "Why?"
"Well," Ashley shrugged, "it is all out in the open now. My past with her. There is nothing else for her to blackmail me with. I am trying, Brandon. Can you please meet me halfway?"
A revulsion rose up in Brandon and he growled. "How long were you sleeping with her before I found out?"
"Sporadically through the years," Ashley said honestly. "She has always had other relationships and then when they break up she finds me and torments me."
"I don't know if I want to be with you again," Brandon said harshly. "Ashley, you were a nightmare to live with. You are right; you were not a good wife or mother."
"Because I had that secret I was carrying around. I don't anymore. I am willing to change. I am even going to start going back to church."
Brandon got up. "Don't change on my account, Ashley. Change because you want to. Don't go back to church, either, because you think that is what I would want. Do it because you have a relationship with God and want to meet with his people. Have a nice weekend. Tell your mom hi."
"What are you doing for the weekend?" Ashley asked, her voice tremulous.
It gave him pause. He could not in recent memory remember Ashley caring about anything that he did.
He looked at her, a frown on his face. "Why are you asking?"
"I am just interested, Brandon. Jeesh, you are acting as if I asked some top secret question."
"I was planning to take the kids to the north coast. Richard's beach house in Negril."
"Maybe we can do that next week, then?" Ashley said tentatively.
Brandon paused, his hand on the door. "What? Ashley, I don't think..."
"I am sorry for what happened. I am sorry for what I did." Ashley looked at him. "But I realize that I can’t just let us go, Brandon. There was a time when we were good together. I want back that time."
On the Rebound Page 8